quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

I really don't understand the question. Really. Could someone explain it to me, please? Is this thread about listing what we do to serve in the church or about something else?

I don't get the whole 'criticism of singles' thing? Criticized where? And for what?

Good grief, we're all old enough by now to know that backbiting is what goes on in some churches no matter what our "status" is. Moms get criticized when they don't help "as much as they should" with the nursery. Men get criticized when they don't show up for a "work day" or when they don't volunteer to teach the teenagers Sunday School. Who cares WHAT backbiters say??????

It'll be a cold day in the nether regions before I make ANY excuse to anyone for what I don't do or list for anyone how I do serve. Therefore, you can consider my vote "NEVER, BUT A PEW SITTER" (tell us how you really feel, OP) because I wouldn't deign to give any other answer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

I really don't understand the question. Really. Could someone explain it to me, please? Is this thread about listing what we do to serve in the church or about something else?

I don't get the whole 'criticism of singles' thing? Criticized where? And for what?

Good grief, we're all old enough by now to know that backbiting is what goes on in some churches no matter what our "status" is. Moms get criticized when they don't help "as much as they should" with the nursery. Men get criticized when they don't show up for a "work day" or when they don't volunteer to teach the teenagers Sunday School. Who cares WHAT backbiters say??????

It'll be a cold day in the nether regions before I make ANY excuse to anyone for what I don't do or list for anyone how I do serve. Therefore, you can consider my vote "NEVER, BUT A PEW SITTER" (tell us how you really feel, OP) because I wouldn't deign to give any other answer.

Fritz, are you having a bad day there?


Ok, the reason why I started this thread is because I had a concern about one of the postings in the "Coping With Singleness Thread". And yes it was a valid concern because it made me and perhaps some others feel that because you are single, because you are in a local church body and involved in that local church, you are not being proactive in finding someone.

In my opinion, it makes me feel (and perhaps others who are involved in their local church and para church ministries) that you are worthless because you are single and not have a man or a woman. And to be honest, I'm getting sick and tired of it of all the criticisims from believers that people who are ministry are masking the fact that you are lonely and all the perks that comes from singledom and because you are serving people expect singles to be all about "them", which is not anyways. I feel and always felt that instead of complaing what you have, get out and get up and make a difference in the lives of others, whether you are working in the the church and encouraging others, or getting involved with our youth (that's a ministry in itself) or other opportunities instead of whining what you don't have and saying that "Its so hard not having a other person to not share things with."

The church is also at fault also because they do not encourage singles, and if you are in a church that does not encourage singles to reach their godly potential in Christ, there is a problem. Maybe God may want you to get out of that fellowship and go to somewhere that you can be loved and nurtured and help you give you some survivial skills to how to live as a single in these ungodly days. (That's another thread in itself)

I'm sorry if this thread made people mad or angry or even people take offense. But like I said before, I'm sick and tired of Christians who are single and married being critical of us singles being servants in our local churches. We're the ones should be getting encourgement from fellow believers and need the prayers because we are on the front lines.

quote:

ORIGINAL: gaylel1

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

I really don't understand the question. Really. Could someone explain it to me, please? Is this thread about listing what we do to serve in the church or about something else?

I don't get the whole 'criticism of singles' thing? Criticized where? And for what?

Good grief, we're all old enough by now to know that backbiting is what goes on in some churches no matter what our "status" is. Moms get criticized when they don't help "as much as they should" with the nursery. Men get criticized when they don't show up for a "work day" or when they don't volunteer to teach the teenagers Sunday School. Who cares WHAT backbiters say??????

It'll be a cold day in the nether regions before I make ANY excuse to anyone for what I don't do or list for anyone how I do serve. Therefore, you can consider my vote "NEVER, BUT A PEW SITTER" (tell us how you really feel, OP) because I wouldn't deign to give any other answer.

Fritz, are you having a bad day there?

quote:

Ok, the reason why I started this thread is because I had a concern about one of the postings in the "Coping With Singleness Thread". And yes it was a valid concern because it made me and perhaps some others feel that because you are single, because you are in a local church body and involved in that local church, you are not being proactive in finding someone.

In my opinion, it makes me feel (and perhaps others who are involved in their local church and para church ministries) that you are worthless because you are single and not have a man or a woman. And to be honest, I'm getting sick and tired of it of all the criticisims from believers that people who are ministry are masking the fact that you are lonely and all the perks that comes from singledom and because you are serving people expect singles to be all about "them", which is not anyways. I feel and always felt that instead of complaing what you have, get out and get up and make a difference in the lives of others, whether you are working in the the church and encouraging others, or getting involved with our youth (that's a ministry in itself) or other opportunities instead of whining what you don't have and saying that "Its so hard not having a other person to not share things with."

The church is also at fault also because they do not encourage singles, and if you are in a church that does not encourage singles to reach their godly potential in Christ, there is a problem. Maybe God may want you to get out of that fellowship and go to somewhere that you can be loved and nurtured and help you give you some survivial skills to how to live as a single in these ungodly days. (That's another thread in itself)

I'm sorry if this thread made people mad or angry or even people take offense. But like I said before, I'm sick and tired of Christians who are single and married being critical of us singles being servants in our local churches. We're the ones should be getting encourgement from fellow believers and need the prayers because we are on the front lines.

quote:

And to be honest, I'm getting sick and tired of it of all the criticisims from believers that people who are ministry are masking the fact that you are lonely and all the perks that comes from singledom and because you are serving people expect singles to be all about "them", which is not anyways.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

quote:

ORIGINAL: gaylel1

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

I really don't understand the question. Really. Could someone explain it to me, please? Is this thread about listing what we do to serve in the church or about something else?

I don't get the whole 'criticism of singles' thing? Criticized where? And for what?

Good grief, we're all old enough by now to know that backbiting is what goes on in some churches no matter what our "status" is. Moms get criticized when they don't help "as much as they should" with the nursery. Men get criticized when they don't show up for a "work day" or when they don't volunteer to teach the teenagers Sunday School. Who cares WHAT backbiters say??????

It'll be a cold day in the nether regions before I make ANY excuse to anyone for what I don't do or list for anyone how I do serve. Therefore, you can consider my vote "NEVER, BUT A PEW SITTER" (tell us how you really feel, OP) because I wouldn't deign to give any other answer.

Fritz, are you having a bad day there?

No. Should I be?

quote:

Ok, the reason why I started this thread is because I had a concern about one of the postings in the "Coping With Singleness Thread". And yes it was a valid concern because it made me and perhaps some others feel that because you are single, because you are in a local church body and involved in that local church, you are not being proactive in finding someone.

In my opinion, it makes me feel (and perhaps others who are involved in their local church and para church ministries) that you are worthless because you are single and not have a man or a woman. And to be honest, I'm getting sick and tired of it of all the criticisims from believers that people who are ministry are masking the fact that you are lonely and all the perks that comes from singledom and because you are serving people expect singles to be all about "them", which is not anyways. I feel and always felt that instead of complaing what you have, get out and get up and make a difference in the lives of others, whether you are working in the the church and encouraging others, or getting involved with our youth (that's a ministry in itself) or other opportunities instead of whining what you don't have and saying that "Its so hard not having a other person to not share things with."

The church is also at fault also because they do not encourage singles, and if you are in a church that does not encourage singles to reach their godly potential in Christ, there is a problem. Maybe God may want you to get out of that fellowship and go to somewhere that you can be loved and nurtured and help you give you some survivial skills to how to live as a single in these ungodly days. (That's another thread in itself)

I'm sorry if this thread made people mad or angry or even people take offense. But like I said before, I'm sick and tired of Christians who are single and married being critical of us singles being servants in our local churches. We're the ones should be getting encourgement from fellow believers and need the prayers because we are on the front lines.

What Above_All said. I just have never heard any of this stuff. Whose business besides my own is it whether I'm proactive about finding someone?

quote:

And to be honest, I'm getting sick and tired of it of all the criticisims from believers that people who are ministry are masking the fact that you are lonely and all the perks that comes from singledom and because you are serving people expect singles to be all about "them", which is not anyways.

quote:

Do you think it's just singles who feel unappreciated and misunderstood? It's the human condition! Most everything we feel isn't because we're single. It's because that's how PEOPLE feel.

Yes, I understand what you are saying. But you see, with the body, singles are felt to be "second class christians" because either you are not dating or not attempting to find someone, and then they are made to feel guilty because if you are not dating or neither finding someone, you are less of a Christian. It is not only the community of believers who think that, there are authors that feel that Christian singles are second class citzens not understanding the reasons.

quote:

And I don't get the whole "the church should encourage singles" thing either. The church should encourage people. I'm a person, therefore, I'm encouraged.

I agree, the body of believers, which make up the church (not the physical building, not the name) should encourage people and you are right.

quote:

I dunno. I guess since being single isn't what defines me that makes me a little dense about this. I've said it before, I am a WHOLE lot more than a divorced woman with kids. I'm responsible for getting my own encouragement as a Christian (not a single Christian, just a Christian) out of church. And what somebody else thinks about my motivation or what I should or shouldn't be doing or whether I have a mate or not really doesn't concern me.

I agree whole heartily....

_____________________________

Remembering Topher...

Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121

quote:

Yes, I understand what you are saying. But you see, with the body, singles are felt to be "second class christians" because either you are not dating or not attempting to find someone, and then they are made to feel guilty because if you are not dating or neither finding someone, you are less of a Christian. It is not only the community of believers who think that, there are authors that feel that Christian singles are second class citzens not understanding the reasons.

quote:

Yes, I understand what you are saying. But you see, with the body, singles are felt to be "second class christians" because either you are not dating or not attempting to find someone, and then they are made to feel guilty because if you are not dating or neither finding someone, you are less of a Christian. It is not only the community of believers who think that, there are authors that feel that Christian singles are second class citzens not understanding the reasons.

quote:

I think a lot of us are single because of our own doing. Perhaps it's a belief system that's not really biblical, perhaps, it's issues, socials, psychological, emotional, etc, that we have that we refuse to work on, perhaps it's because of choice, perhaps it's "false contentment", or we could be single long enough and we don't know how to let someone else in our lives even though we profess with words that we want to. For me, the longing is deep but my actions don't seem to reflect that I want to be married. It's something I have to work on. There's been a lot of men that's been attracted to me, but the moment they get close, I ran away. I can't blame that on God. It's my issue to work on. I believe that if I wasn't like that, I'd never be single for a long time, but as it is, I go years without even dating.

I think at times, we pretend that we're content with being single, but in reality, we're not. We're using those those as an excuse to move and pursue a relationship. We use the "waiting on God" excuse, the working for the ministry excuse, the 'not wanting to make a mistake" excuse. We use the Jeremiah 29:11 verse about God knowing the plans he had for us, but if you look at the context of the verse, it's about God's very specific promise to a specific people to bring them out of captivity in His time. What did God say to the Jews before those verses?
Jeremiah 29:5-9
Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. 7 Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." 8 Yes, this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. 9 They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them," declares the LORD.

There it shows how God commanded people to live their lives. This is His instructions. He didn't tell them to passively wait for every little instruction to come from him regarding how to do this. We have the bible for that. I really think we are trying to live our lives like God is micro managing us, when in reality, we are given so much freedom. No doubt that deciding to get married requires a lot of wisdom and discernment from God, but I don't believe that it's one of those things that God will drop in my lap in His chosen time. Marriage is part of living, like finding a job, or going on a mission. It's a decision we make and finding a mate is an action we pursue. Within the will of God, or course.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
And I don't get the whole "the church should encourage singles" thing either. The church should encourage people. I'm a person, therefore, I'm encouraged.

I dunno. I guess since being single isn't what defines me that makes me a little dense about this. I've said it before, I am a WHOLE lot more than a divorced woman with kids. I'm responsible for getting my own encouragement as a Christian (not a single Christian, just a Christian) out of church.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Above_All

I also find it hard to believe that fellow believers would actually put a single down for serving G-d vs. finding a mate. How can one condemn a person for faithfully serving the L-rd? Even if a person is not called to serve, there can be no condemnation for serving, not unless you are abusing the body.

On the flip note, if you really desire to meet someone then free up your time a bit to meet new people. There is such thing as over doing it. A good balance is the key. Serving G-d is NOT limited to serving in a church.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rgod
Or if you are female, you've got to love working in the nursery.

quote:

ORIGINAL: 9drtr

quote:

ORIGINAL: Above_All

I also find it hard to believe that fellow believers would actually put a single down for serving G-d vs. finding a mate. How can one condemn a person for faithfully serving the L-rd? Even if a person is not called to serve, there can be no condemnation for serving, not unless you are abusing the body.

On the flip note, if you really desire to meet someone then free up your time a bit to meet new people. There is such thing as over doing it. A good balance is the key. Serving G-d is NOT limited to serving in a church.

Hang around and you'll find that anyone can be put down for anything.