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Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/1/2008 7:44:56 AM
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mutinywxgirl
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The Hope Deferred thread got me thinking.........
What biblical evidence is there that God will provide a spouse to us? And I'm not talking about the verses in Genesis. We all know those. I want others.
Seriously - I want us to look at this in depth.
I see many people talk about how God "promised" to bring me a spouse. HOW did He make that promise? How do you see Him working to bring it about? Do you think you're doing anything to help/hinder this to happen in your life?
Just a few crazy thoughts in my head this morning.......
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/1/2008 7:53:31 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2120
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Nope.
That's the crazy thing....God never promised us anything....a car, a house, a spouse, a college degree, etc. North American culture gave us a sense of entitlement because it's so normal for us to have all those things.
God promised us that he will be with me through the deepest valleys of my life. Through whatever pain I go through, he promised to give us peace to endure. THat is the only promise that I hold on to( other than eternal life)
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/1/2008 6:25:42 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 5063
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I don't know if he has promised others a spouse but he has promised me one.
One of the most amazing things to me about the Lord.........is how he eagerly wants to share His plans for our lives with us..........
God may not be obligated to give us a spouse but if he revealed to you that you would marry then, as rgod said in another thread ,stand with faith on the hope that promise brings.
quote:
HOW did He make that promise? How do you see Him working to bring it about? Do you think you're doing anything to help/hinder this to happen in your life? I have posted the how before but will do so again if you wish.........I see him working daily to bring it about...........yes I think sometimes I slow the process but God takes advantage of that slowing to continue shapinge me into a wife who will reflect him to my husband.
Lisa the bible is full of verses where God tells people before hand what he has planned.......he shares little bits and pieces of what he is doing to those who seek to hear his voice. Would you like me to post some?
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/1/2008 11:08:03 PM
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rgod
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I can say that the Lord has promised me a spouse - and he did it at a time when I didn't even want to be married. Ever. (I was NOT one of those little girls who grew up wanting to be married and planning her wedding down to the last detail. Even now, I am so low maintenance about that kind of stuff.) I had seen lots of poor marriages in my life and felt that I didn't want to be part of anything like that. And then, a few years after I had gotten saved, I just had a peace - a knowing that the Lord would grant me a husband. I had to pray about it a lot - but he planted the desire in my heart. Over the years I've doubted him - told him that I'd be fine with being single - ran the gamut of being down about it to being happy about it. Yet always, he would bring me back to the same promise. I've had this before with different things in my life - so I know the voice of the Lord. Yet, nothing has taken as long to come to fruition as this promise has (it has been almost 12 years now).
Biblically, I don't think that God has promised everyone a spouse. We see that clearly in the following verses:
Matthew 19:12, Jer 16:1-4, 1 Cor 7:7. And of course, the most obvious example is Jesus. Paul would be an example too if you hold to the view that he wasn't married (I don't think anything in the scriptures at least indicates that he was).
In my life, I think He has been working just to make me more like Christ - which is what He promised to do (he who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Christ Jesus). There are lots of things that the Lord has already healed me from that would have hindered a relationship. Now, I've noticed, he's been putting me around lots and lots of men. They are a bit too young for me (most of them) but I'm around them nonetheless. God will sometimes show me something - like he did the other week - about the type of heart of the man I will marry. Also, he's been working on really practical things - like my appearance and the way in which I see myself.
I think that I hinder his work every single time I don't believe what he says or I don't do what he says. If I do what he says, it is better for me in the long run. I think too, that I haven't really been acting on the promise in any kind of consistent way recently. (I've taken a break from a lot of things.) I think too, that there are a number of lies that I've been believing that have kept me hindered in this area.
The biggest "help" though is to simply do what he says and to believe him. He has challenged me in the area of my faith recently and I must stand on his promises - no matter how things appear to be.
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/1/2008 11:14:11 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2120
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quote:
God will sometimes show me something - like he did the other week - about the type of heart of the man I will marry
This is what I take from every man I've ever dated---it's that every one of them has something that I would want in a partner. Then a few weeks ago, I spent a day with the man that had everything that I wanted---but it was likely that he himself wanted to be that person but couldn't. I'm grateful though that through that experience, I saw very clearly the picture of the man that I would want to marry (though it's not him). Maybe that was God's point all along. Isn't God funny?
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/1/2008 11:24:08 PM
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DrivenbyGod
Posts: 223
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quote:
What biblical evidence is there that God will provide a spouse to us?
Here's a verse regarding any desire not just for a spouse.
(Psa 37:4-6) Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. {5} Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.
This is a promise to us, but I think we over look this and sometimes let our emotions and feelings get the best of us. I know that I don't always remember this when things aren't going well.
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/1/2008 11:28:51 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2120
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DrivenbyGod
quote:
What biblical evidence is there that God will provide a spouse to us?
Here's a verse regarding any desire not just for a spouse.
(Psa 37:4-6) Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. {5} Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.
This is a promise to us, but I think we over look this and sometimes let our emotions and feelings get the best of us. I know that I don't always remember this when things aren't going well.
Hey, Driven, long time to see...
Aha...I forgot abou that verse. However, doesnt' that mean that we should align our desires with God's desire and when it is aligned, then, He will give it to us. I'm just careful not to use this verse as a way to get out stuff from God. I'm sure that's not what you meant.
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/1/2008 11:41:20 PM
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Odile
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From: Northeast USA
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What do you make of this? Though I was never the girl that imagined her wedding down to the last detail, I have always wanted to be married and raise a family. It's the only passion I've ever had (in terms of "what do you want to be when you grow up?"). However, I just have this "knowing" that I'm not going to be married. Even today I was contemplating it and for the hundredth time wondering, borderline angry, why the desire will not go away. So here I am talking to God (out loud... I do this alot), on the verge of tears, and I ask "I'm not supposed to be married am I?" and as often happens when I'm talking to, crying to, venting to God, a shiver ran over me. It's so easy to say, let it go? but why is it so hard to do?!?!
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/1/2008 11:45:23 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1475
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Odile
What do you make of this? Though I was never the girl that imagined her wedding down to the last detail, I have always wanted to be married and raise a family. It's the only passion I've ever had (in terms of "what do you want to be when you grow up?"). However, I just have this "knowing" that I'm not going to be married. Even today I was contemplating it and for the hundredth time wondering, borderline angry, why the desire will not go away. So here I am talking to God (out loud... I do this alot), on the verge of tears, and I ask "I'm not supposed to be married am I?" and as often happens when I'm talking to, crying to, venting to God, a shiver ran over me. It's so easy to say, let it go? but why is it so hard to do?!?!
Odile - it is interesting that you have this "knowing" that you are not going to be married. I wonder what you think about the Hope Deferred Thread? There are some elements of what you are feeling that are expressed there ...
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/1/2008 11:46:51 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2120
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:
What do you make of this? Though I was never the girl that imagined her wedding down to the last detail, I have always wanted to be married and raise a family. It's the only passion I've ever had (in terms of "what do you want to be when you grow up?"). However, I just have this "knowing" that I'm not going to be married. Even today I was contemplating it and for the hundredth time wondering, borderline angry, why the desire will not go away. So here I am talking to God (out loud... I do this alot), on the verge of tears, and I ask "I'm not supposed to be married am I?" and as often happens when I'm talking to, crying to, venting to God, a shiver ran over me. It's so easy to say, let it go? but why is it so hard to do?!?!
Could also result in a self fulfilling prophecy.....
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/1/2008 11:54:26 PM
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DrivenbyGod
Posts: 223
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quote:
Hey, Driven, long time to see...
Aha...I forgot abou that verse. However, doesnt' that mean that we should align our desires with God's desire and when it is aligned, then, He will give it to us. I'm just careful not to use this verse as a way to get out stuff from God. I'm sure that's not what you meant.
Hiya PH,
Right, that's how I interpret it too, but if we are seeking him and have this desire he's promising to fullfill it... correct? I guess this is where our faith plays apart too. It's tough when we have been single for a long time. Although, for me I haven't always been earnestly seeking him, so I can't complain too loudly to the big guy.
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 12:01:12 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1475
Joined: 4/25/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DrivenbyGod
quote:
What biblical evidence is there that God will provide a spouse to us?
Here's a verse regarding any desire not just for a spouse.
(Psa 37:4-6) Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. {5} Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.
This is a promise to us, but I think we over look this and sometimes let our emotions and feelings get the best of us. I know that I don't always remember this when things aren't going well.
DrivenbyGod and PrairieHiker - this is such an interesting set of verses. I've been pondering it over the years ...
At first, I thought that it meant, if I make myself happy or delighted in the Lord, that he would give me my hearts desire. This caused a lot of frustration in me and there were many days that I struggled with this verse.
Then, I kept hearing it preached that when we delight ourselves in the Lord, then he will change our desires to meet his - then he'll grant them. While I do believe this is true - because he does give us new desires - a few months ago, I began to see the verses differently.
Everything - from a spouse, to a new car, to a house, or even to a windfall of a significant sum of money - gets old after a while. We get used to it and start to take it for granted - and what used to fulfill us no longer does. Even if we had everything we wanted, we'd still have desire. So I came to understand that these verses meant that when we delight ourselves in the Lord, that He would give us the true desire of our hearts, which is Himself. He inhabits the praises of His people - as we delight in Him, He delights in making Himself known to us.
Interestingly enough, a month or so ago, I saw these verses differently yet again. It is closer to the original. When we delight ourselves in the Lord - not only does He change our desires, not only does He give us Himself - which is our true desire whether we recognize it or not - but the Lord can move heaven and earth to give us blessings.
So, if a spouse will be a blessing to you (and we can't say this for everyone because God has different plans for everyone), and you delight yourself in the Lord - his presence; if you allow Him to change or adjust your desires (maybe you originally wanted a woman who was a 10 or you wanted a man who drove a porche - but now God makes you desire godliness for example), He fills you with the joy of His presence and He also may provide a spouse at as well - simply because he wants to bless you.
There are so many layers here - the Word never really gets old you know? I always wonder what God is going to show us next!
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 12:01:15 AM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1179
Joined: 6/1/2008
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I didn't think I'd be logged in this late tonight, and here's a mod doing some serious thinking. (Must be serious and behave... this is absolute power here).
Has God REALLY promised (us singles) a spouse?
A helpmate/companion for life- no.
The church, prepared as a bride on her wedding day- yes.
I'm thinking we are talking about each of us individually.
Joy, Rgod, and Prariehiker all have good points, and Rgod especially- but that's just because she really honed in on something I've got going in my life but haven't thought about that way.
Now those meddlesome crushes, they are mostly just aggravating, but they can bring me out of a stupor and get me talking and working all those little social skills again, and they really are not mostly aggravating. They usually don't lead to much. When they have, and I've dated people, then those relationships have run their course- and I've noticed each one has seemed better than the one before it. So up until tonight I've been thinking that the next person I date is going to be even more wonderful, more everything on my 'list', and that there's no doubt Christ is first on her list of loves.
Now there's thoughts again on what attracted me to others, and can I take any part of who they were to me as something I'd want to experience again. Also, what I learned about myself while dating them, and such as that. I don't thinki I'll one day be able to walk up to someone and say, "Wow! You're the cake I've been trying to bake all my life!", but certainly there's a way to be somewhat swift about researching things I don't like, and if I'm really seeing them or not. Then I can just stay up 24/7, working on all this and working on my own personal skills around the house, and trusting my dog to give me a flying tackle and knock me out so he can sleep and I not develop a real case of amnesiacoffee.
We are called as Christians to love one another, and also to love ourselves, so I do like the thought of working on my own presentation to someone I might realize I don't want to finish this life without. Maybe she's out there thinking why is she troubled or an obnoxious flirt like I sometimes am, when she could also be loving Christ more each day and loving herself and being ready for an unexpected party or meeting or painful collision or... .
Praying peace for all of us on this serious thread as we go deep.
Blessings,
OneJohn410
_____________________________
The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalm 28:7
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 12:03:22 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12891
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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quote:
and here's a mod doing some serious thinking. (Must be serious and behave... this is absolute power here).
Huh???????
Hey, I wrote that with a caffeine-deprived brain this morning.......
But GREAT discussions!!!!!!!!!
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 12:07:43 AM
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rgod
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Nice post OneJohn!!! I think it is so cool that your relationships are getting better and better - and also how God is working with you on all of this (just as he is working in our lives).
rgod
< Message edited by rgod -- 10/2/2008 6:37:22 AM >
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 3:54:01 AM
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sgts
Posts: 6
Joined: 6/25/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneJohn410
I didn't think I'd be logged in this late tonight, and here's a mod doing some serious thinking. (Must be serious and behave... this is absolute power here).
Has God REALLY promised (us singles) a spouse?
A helpmate/companion for life- no.
The church, prepared as a bride on her wedding day- yes.
I'm thinking we are talking about each of us individually.
Joy, Rgod, and Prariehiker all have good points, and Rgod especially- but that's just because she really honed in on something I've got going in my life but haven't thought about that way.
Now those meddlesome crushes, they are mostly just aggravating, but they can bring me out of a stupor and get me talking and working all those little social skills again, and they really are not mostly aggravating. They usually don't lead to much. When they have, and I've dated people, then those relationships have run their course- and I've noticed each one has seemed better than the one before it. So up until tonight I've been thinking that the next person I date is going to be even more wonderful, more everything on my 'list', and that there's no doubt Christ is first on her list of loves.
Now there's thoughts again on what attracted me to others, and can I take any part of who they were to me as something I'd want to experience again. Also, what I learned about myself while dating them, and such as that. I don't thinki I'll one day be able to walk up to someone and say, "Wow! You're the cake I've been trying to bake all my life!", but certainly there's a way to be somewhat swift about researching things I don't like, and if I'm really seeing them or not. Then I can just stay up 24/7, working on all this and working on my own personal skills around the house, and trusting my dog to give me a flying tackle and knock me out so he can sleep and I not develop a real case of amnesiacoffee.
We are called as Christians to love one another, and also to love ourselves, so I do like the thought of working on my own presentation to someone I might realize I don't want to finish this life without. Maybe she's out there thinking why is she troubled or an obnoxious flirt like I sometimes am, when she could also be loving Christ more each day and loving herself and being ready for an unexpected party or meeting or painful collision or... .
Praying peace for all of us on this serious thread as we go deep.
Blessings,
OneJohn410
Can we get a translator for this post please....
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 10:46:34 AM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2277
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quote:
I see many people talk about how God "promised" to bring me a spouse. HOW did He make that promise? How do you see Him working to bring it about? Do you think you're doing anything to help/hinder this to happen in your life?
He made me the promise when I was sixteen and got called into the youth ministry at church
camp, I didn't want to be called, I didn't think I could do it. And he promised me that night that
He would send me the perfect guy to minister with, but in His timing and not mine. I wish now
that I would have just trusted that and focused more on God than I did during high school rather
than being worried about finding that perfect guy God had promised me, but I can only live with
that conviction from now on, I can't change the past and claim back all the lost time of chasing
guys who weren't God's very best for my life. Yes, I see Him working to bring it about, He is
daily shaping and molding me into the girl that a guy who is after God's heart would want to
love, someone who would be a helper in his life, a partner in his serving God's call on his life.
And God bringing Singing Boy into my life, it has taught me what a true man of God should act
like, if he is the one or not, I don't know, all I know is that is the type of man I want to spend the
rest of my life with, someone that there is no question that Jesus rules their life!
I am trying to help God be able to bring the right one into my life just by doing what I know I
should be doing right now, going to college, getting really involved leading in my youth group,
learning to love and care for others more than I do myself, by putting God's will for me above
everything else in my life! God will bring me the right one in His time, so I don't have to worry!
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I Think I'm Outta Control!
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 11:08:14 AM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1179
Joined: 6/1/2008
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quote:
Can we get a translator for this post please....
Hi Sgts,
Looks like someone stole your vowels, or you are Sgt. S.
I don't know why I couldn't try to parse this into a language translator website... what language do you want?
Seeing how you are a Newbie doesn't mean you have to be fearful about asking questions.
I did check the community office, and all the translators are on assignment at present. We save the translators for our international members. What language are you having problems with?
_____________________________
The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalm 28:7
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 7:38:23 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4169
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: joy2give2u
Would you like me to post some?
go for it joy2give2u ... we are normally restricted from having Bible studies in the Singles forum but in this case a moderator asked for "biblical evidence" in their OP ...
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Photoblogging My Life
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 11:05:54 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12891
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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Yes, I want scriptures - that go with the OP and questions posed in the OP.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 11:10:02 PM
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DrivenbyGod
Posts: 223
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:
Everything - from a spouse, to a new car, to a house, or even to a windfall of a significant sum of money - gets old after a while. We get used to it and start to take it for granted - and what used to fulfill us no longer does. Even if we had everything we wanted, we'd still have desire. So I came to understand that these verses meant that when we delight ourselves in the Lord, that He would give us the true desire of our hearts, which is Himself. He inhabits the praises of His people - as we delight in Him, He delights in making Himself known to us.
This reminds me of the book of Ecclesiastes and makes me want to go read it now. Where Solomon describes all that he has and has done, but it's all just a chasing of the wind.
quote:
So, if a spouse will be a blessing to you (and we can't say this for everyone because God has different plans for everyone), and you delight yourself in the Lord - his presence; if you allow Him to change or adjust your desires (maybe you originally wanted a woman who was a 10 or you wanted a man who drove a porche - but now God makes you desire godliness for example), He fills you with the joy of His presence and He also may provide a spouse at as well - simply because he wants to bless you.
Good interpretation of this blessing. I think similarly. I guess the only thing that can put a wrench in it is if you doubt he'll come through.
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 11:26:44 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2120
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DrivenbyGod
quote:
Everything - from a spouse, to a new car, to a house, or even to a windfall of a significant sum of money - gets old after a while. We get used to it and start to take it for granted - and what used to fulfill us no longer does. Even if we had everything we wanted, we'd still have desire. So I came to understand that these verses meant that when we delight ourselves in the Lord, that He would give us the true desire of our hearts, which is Himself. He inhabits the praises of His people - as we delight in Him, He delights in making Himself known to us.
This reminds me of the book of Ecclesiastes and makes me want to go read it now. Where Solomon describes all that he has and has done, but it's all just a chasing of the wind.
quote:
So, if a spouse will be a blessing to you (and we can't say this for everyone because God has different plans for everyone), and you delight yourself in the Lord - his presence; if you allow Him to change or adjust your desires (maybe you originally wanted a woman who was a 10 or you wanted a man who drove a porche - but now God makes you desire godliness for example), He fills you with the joy of His presence and He also may provide a spouse at as well - simply because he wants to bless you.
Good interpretation of this blessing. I think similarly. I guess the only thing that can put a wrench in it is if you doubt he'll come through.
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were to me as something I'd want to experience again. Also, what I learned about myself while dating them, and such as that. I don't thinki I'll one day be able to walk up to someone and say, "Wow! You're the cake I've been trying to bake all my life!", but certainly there's a way to be somewhat swift about researching things I don't like, and if I'm really seeing them or not. Then I can just stay up 24/7, working on all this and working on my own personal skills around the house, and trusting my dog to give me a flying tackle and knock me out so he can sleep and I not develop a real case of amnesiacoffee.
I reread the whole entire passage, and it seems to speak about how we should act in the face of injustice and unrighteousness done agaist us. The psalmist spoke about how the evildoers seems to prosper, while the righteous seems to be suffer, but he assured that we should remain faithful and continue doing good, continue delighting in the Lord because the Lord will come through for his people. I guess it's a warning about being envious about the prosperity of the wicked, and the Psalmist is encouraging us to commit our way to the Lord despite the injustice done to us. The Lord will do justice in His time. I didn't read it as God will provide us with a BMW, or a perfect husband if we delight in him.
LOL. YOu can probably tell, proof texting is something I'm passionately against.
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 10/3/2008 12:45:25 AM >
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but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Has God REALLY promised for us a spouse? - 10/2/2008 11:34:15 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2120
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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Hey, Lisa, I think I might have a verse, but it's not a direct promise by God. It's the verse in Genesis when God said that it's not good for man to be alone. He created Eve, a helpmate for Adam. Doesn't that somehow show that God designed us with a desire to have an intimate companion? Does that mean He promised us one or He'll provide one for us? I don't know. But I know that it's not against God's design if we desire one or if we even look for one.
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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