RE: "Controlled Crying" (Full Version)

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lilyofthefield -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 6:08:00 PM)

Thank you, Jae and Nicole! You are such great support. [:)] I'm sure I'll be asking for lots more (esp. on those sleep-deprived icky days).[;)]

I agree he's too young to really go into CC, but I can set the framework. All of your suggestions have been wonderful and make me feel like we're actually doing okay - I just need to be patient with my tough little sleeper!



nicole6598 -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 6:11:08 PM)

We are totally here!!

How old is he again? I forget? Like Jae said, there is light at the end of the tunnel my friend!



macokjc -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 6:46:26 PM)

Ha, ha, ha...I guess I'm an abusive parent. Oh gag me. It's been a long day, am I entitled to a bit of sarcasm.

Here's the thing - basically you can take any topic, search it on the good old web, and come up with a 10 page paper for either side. I alone could probably write 10 pages on my routine-led children vs. their demand-fed cousins, and the stark difference in home life between the two. However, that is not here or there. If you are looking for a change because your great-aunt Mabel suggested that the baby is being spoiled, than you are probably not going to be happy with what you hear here. However, if you are looking for a different (I didn't want to use the term better) way to more harmony in your home life and more confidence as parents, then throw the guilt out the window and ask questions. We are here to support you!

I have 4 kids, pregnant w/ my fifth - and they were all sleeping through the night between 6-8 weeks. They all weighed 18lbs by 6 months, so obviously putting them on a schedule did not harm them. Yes, they did go back and forth w/ waking up as certain things hit them, (teething, sickness), but as soon as we were able to tell the difference between habit and true need, then we were able to lovingly but firmly get them to sleep through the night again.



Focusing -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 7:10:30 PM)

There are people who have a problem with those who allow our children to actually ... cry?

[sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif][sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif][sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif]


I say let them cry. It's good lung exercise.

As The Parent, we recognize those "needful" cries from those cranky, I'm overtired cries. Please, people need to put their noses where they belong.

And, yes, I believe it's perfectly acceptable to allow a baby to cry. I'm shocked it's even an issue. [8|]



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 7:11:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focusing

There are people who have a problem with those who allow our children to actually ... cry?

[sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif][sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif][sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif]


I say let them cry. It's good lung exercise.

As The Parent, we recognize those "needful" cries from those cranky, I'm overtired cries. Please, people need to put their noses where they belong.

And, yes, I believe it's perfectly acceptable to allow a baby to cry. I'm shocked it's even an issue. [8|]

This place is a constant education, isn't it?[;)]



Focusing -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 7:15:16 PM)

Just amazing ...



nicole6598 -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 7:28:42 PM)

Yes Focusing it is an issue, I agree, we all need to butt out of others' business.

In the end it doesn't matter whether you let your child cry (supervised), whether you breastfeed or bottle, whether you massage the baby or not, these things are minor, trivial little things that don't determine what the child will be like as an adult. And that's what God tells us is important, to train the child in the way they should go. As long as you are teaching your child respect, love, giving, honesty, integrity, compassion, those are the things that count. Not whether you chose to let them cry for 5 minutes or wore them on you all day[8|]



lilyofthefield -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 9:33:30 PM)

Nicole, he's 4 months.



nicole6598 -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 9:38:35 PM)

cool, well its not too far off until you can really get into it, if you go by what is recommended.. or you can just do it now, it's up to you. hang in there, it will get better!!!



Sideways -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 9:39:17 PM)

And such a handsome lad he is, too! [;)] You'll find your way. A routine is such a good place to start.



lilyofthefield -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 9:42:05 PM)

Thanks, Ruth![:D]

I'm not ready to do CC yet, but am ALL for routine and trying to get him started sleeping on his own.



29redballoons -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 10:54:39 PM)

Mine slept thru the night from 11 days old on...and by thru the night I mean...from about 12am until 6 am. BUT, I was a neonatal nurse prior to giving birth...so I was used to swaddling those babies and placing them in cribs. never did the co-sleeping and we were fine. Co-sleeping at that time was frowned upon even by the docs...so it was never an issue. Of course we also let our children sleep on their tummies!!!! [;)]

You moms are all doing fine...because you are God's choice for the job...He doesn't make mistakes!!!!



nicole6598 -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 10:57:46 PM)

I like that last bit Red [:)]



EmilyAnn -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 11:09:47 PM)

What is the difference in CC and CIO? (I am not judging, just asking.) I have heard both terms but don't really know the details of either.



nicole6598 -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/4/2008 11:19:03 PM)

I hope this is ok to explain here...


Crying it out would be where you put the child down and then leave them to cry. You wouldn't go back to soothe them, you would just wait for them to go to sleep. If they were to vomit (which could happen to some children if they were crying for a really long time) you would go in, or sometimes not and clean it up then leave them again. That's what I have read about it anyway...

Controlled crying is where you are there for the child. You pick up on their cries, you give them a second before you rush to pick them up. You might sit by their crib and let them cry while "shhh" or singing a lullaby. You might pat them or rub them while they are in their bed. But mostly it means you leave them for short periods of time to cry and to learn how to self-soothe. To fall asleep without needing someone to help them. But you keep going in and reassuring them at different intervals depending on what you decide.



lilyofthefield -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/5/2008 2:23:34 PM)

The only time we've come close to CC was seeing if Caden could sleep without the binky after he spit it out for the umpteenth time that night and wanted it back (I was there the whole time patting and talking to him). That was more a matter of self-preservation as it is hard to survive on sleep that is interupted every 20 minutes. [8|] We found out he is not ready for it yet, but we may well have to use CC one day just to get him to the point where he can sleep without having his binky. Fortunately, he sleeps well on his own and mainly in his crib (he sleeps better there than with me anyway). He mainly has the binky issue.



manda59 -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/5/2008 2:37:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilyofthefield
We found out he is not ready for it yet, but we may well have to use CC one day just to get him to the point where he can sleep without having his binky. Fortunately, he sleeps well on his own and mainly in his crib (he sleeps better there than with me anyway). He mainly has the binky issue.

It shouldn't be long before he is finding his own dummy (binky) when it falls out. Did you read what I posted here once about my dd and her dummies (or rather dummies)?



Flintejae -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/5/2008 2:48:23 PM)

Lily - my son falls asleep with his binky, but it falls out when he's sleeping. The past two days have been HELLACIOUS when it comes to him sleeping. I wish I knew why.



manda59 -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/5/2008 2:49:47 PM)

More teeth is very likely to be the reason.



Kath -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/5/2008 3:00:17 PM)

I would like to caution you ladies on one thing; I've seen some posts that refer back to another thread in an disparaging way. Please do not do such a thing, it's just gossip and will cause hard feelings.

Thank you.

Sincerely
Kath

Please do not comment on this action in the community or send me a PM about it. If you have questions, comments or concerns please email Fritz at community@salemwebnetwork.com allowing time for a reply. Thanks!



TammyIsBlessed -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/5/2008 3:28:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: 2shaye

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilyofthefield

BTW, who are these people who have babies who sleep thru the night at 12 weeks (or even younger)??? My mom says I did (I mean down at 8 and up at 7)... wow, I can't imagine.


Both of my kids did.


All 4 of mine did too - at varying ages.

I think the latest was DD#3 who took almost 5 months till she was sleeping through the night EVERY night - she did almost all the time by 3 months as well, but on occasion she'd wake during the night and I'd quickly feed her and put her back down.



TammyIsBlessed -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/5/2008 3:33:25 PM)

I didn't let my 2nd, 3rd & 4th babies cry much at all at night because I didn't want them waking up the others! ;)



lilyofthefield -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/5/2008 8:41:34 PM)

I'm jealous! LOL! I'd love any tips...[:)] I think with mine it's mainly just his personality so far. He's "spirited".



PrincessDonna -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/5/2008 8:53:58 PM)

IME, Lily, CC just doesn't work for every kid. Nothing wrong with trying it a couple/few times, and I think you as the parent will know when it just isn't going to work for that one child.

I have one child (my Hannah) who it would have been abusive to do any form of CIO or CC. We tried a couple times and it did the opposite of what we intended it to do. To continue to do that to her once we realized it was detrimental to her would have been abusive, IMO.

CC does have its place though and will work on many to most older babies and toddlers. I think we just have to have the common sense God gave us and know when it will not work and don't force it in those instances, KWIM?



lilyofthefield -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/5/2008 8:59:48 PM)

Yep, I agree. Caden is definitely not ready yet. The only real reason I think we may need to try it is the whole binky deal, but as Manda said, by then he may be able to find it and replace it himself. Fortunately, it looks like we won't have to use CC just to get him to go to sleep since he likes his crib...



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