RE: "Controlled Crying" (Full Version)

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lilyofthefield -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 9:58:59 AM)

Last night was better, not perfect, but much better. He went down at 8:30, up to eat at 10:30, down at 11, up at 2 with a poopy diaper, down until 4 to eat again, then down until 7:30. He just went down for nap #1 of the day.

I'm glad you had such a great night! Yay Jadon! [:D]



Flintejae -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 10:03:06 AM)

I remember those nights, Lily. They could be so rough. The good news is that we some how figure a way to live through it and watching them grow so fast makes it a little easier... and then the nights come when you get to sleep FOUR HOURS! Four Hours! And then it just improves from there. :) (Barring teething, sickness, etc, LOL )



macokjc -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 10:40:18 AM)

quote:

Thank you for your thoughts! She only lives 7 minutes away so that's why I can't use the car as nap time. Eventually I will try the pack n play. I'll just have to decide when. She is really great, but has this thing about being at her own home. I'm not sure what it is.


I am a big believer in a schedule, but I also didn't stop going out, because I needed to get out. If I had to stay home every time someone needed a nap, we would probably never go to church, the doctor, the grocery store, etc. (Sometimes the person needing a nap is me!) Some people could care less, and they wouldn't dream of ever going anywhere for nap time. My kids might get fussy if they missed a nap, but as long as we were back on schedule that night or the next day, it created no lasting problems.

However.....7 minutes, and she can't come see you? Is her leg broken or something? Why on earth would someone ask you to pack up all that baby stuff when she could just as easily come your way? That I don't get.



Flintejae -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 10:45:05 AM)

To be honest, we don't understand it either.



macokjc -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 10:45:09 AM)

quote:

Last night was better, not perfect, but much better. He went down at 8:30, up to eat at 10:30, down at 11, up at 2 with a poopy diaper, down until 4 to eat again, then down until 7:30. He just went down for nap #1 of the day.


Did he eat at the 2am poopy diaper? Unfortunately, we can regulate their feedings but not the poop. [8|] If he didn't eat, he really went 9 hours with just one feeding, and I would say that is excellent.

For me the most important thing was not really letting them cry, but waking them on a schedule to eat during the day. We did the eat/play/sleep time. I think a lot of problems are created when they fall alseep while eating/nursing, and then run into a eat-snack/cat nap sleep thing. For me, knowing that they ate/will eat every 3 hours, it helped me better determine why they were crying.



manda59 -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 10:50:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: macokjc
I am a big believer in a schedule, but I also didn't stop going out, because I needed to get out. If I had to stay home every time someone needed a nap, we would probably never go to church, the doctor, the grocery store, etc.



Well I didn't stop going out either - but I timed my outings around naps. I went out in the car at least once every day, but within a specific time span.



lilyofthefield -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 12:25:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: macokjc

Did he eat at the 2am poopy diaper? Unfortunately, we can regulate their feedings but not the poop. [8|] If he didn't eat, he really went 9 hours with just one feeding, and I would say that is excellent.



That's partly why it's all so frustrating. He can go a good stretch without eating. Our bad nights usually consist of him crying for his binky every 20 minutes or so if he loses it while sleeping. He doesn't usually need anything else. That's why I considered last night pretty good. Even though he need a change at 2 and to eat at 4, he wasn't up crying for the binky all night - which made it a pretty good night! [:)]



Mrs.X -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 1:03:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

quote:

ORIGINAL: macokjc
I am a big believer in a schedule, but I also didn't stop going out, because I needed to get out. If I had to stay home every time someone needed a nap, we would probably never go to church, the doctor, the grocery store, etc.



Well I didn't stop going out either - but I timed my outings around naps. I went out in the car at least once every day, but within a specific time span.

That's what we do too. I always go grocery shopping right after the kids' lunch and Jimmy falls asleep on the way home. My carport is just outside my dining room door, so I just leave that door open and hang out in the kitchen (cleaning) dining room area while he is asleep in the car.



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 3:13:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilyofthefield

quote:

ORIGINAL: macokjc

Did he eat at the 2am poopy diaper? Unfortunately, we can regulate their feedings but not the poop. [8|] If he didn't eat, he really went 9 hours with just one feeding, and I would say that is excellent.



That's partly why it's all so frustrating. He can go a good stretch without eating. Our bad nights usually consist of him crying for his binky every 20 minutes or so if he loses it while sleeping. He doesn't usually need anything else. That's why I considered last night pretty good. Even though he need a change at 2 and to eat at 4, he wasn't up crying for the binky all night - which made it a pretty good night! [:)]


Just tape the pacifier in his mouth[8D] He really will learn to put it back in on his own, I think we got to that point around 6/7/8 months? I don't really remember anymore because we were in the middle of getting up several times a night for feedings at that age.

Janine, I was thinking more about what we did when we traveled with Gabby at around 6 or 7 months. I wonder if putting him in the pack and play at home for naps might help him get used to it? When you tried putting him down for a nap at your MIL's, where did you lay him? Would he be able to use the same space there everytime? Gabby had a really rough trip at 6 months. I ended up having to lay down with her everytime she took a nap or was ready for bed, which we hadn't been doing before we went to my parents. We were gone for 14 days, and I think it took about the same amount of time to get her back in a solid routine/schedule at home. The trip right before her birthday was much, much better.



Flintejae -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 3:27:51 PM)

Ryanne - I haven't tried to give him a nap at my MIL's ever since the changes with his sleep routine. She has a packNplay type thing I planned on having him sleep in when we do visit. I just don't want his/ours/mil's sleep to be horrible on the trip. I will try to have him nap in our pnp for naps before we leave for Dallas. They are going to provide a crib for us as the hotel. (We have no room in our car for the pnp) I plan on doing the same routine (feeding, bath, nursing, playing/rocking if I need to) no matter where he sleeps... I'm just not sure how comfy he will be any other place but his crib. And, sometimes he whines/semi cries a few minutes before he sleeps. I guess I'm worrying over something that hasn't happened yet. I plan on bringing his blanket, sheets, and lamb when we go to Dallas. I don't think he has to have 'his' blanket, but he is a blanket kind of kid. He has given up the lamb to snuggle with and now has to snuggle with his blanket instead. It's his self soother.



nicole6598 -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 3:42:19 PM)

Jae I am so happy for you that he slept so well!!

And Lily that's awesome too!!!
It makes all the difference when you get a few hours at a time. I remember I was so excited when I got 3 or 4 at a time. LOL

Nath has done REALLY well last night too!! Normally he wakes atleast 2 times but he only cried once (that I heard). So yay for that. It's 6am, he's still sleeping. I think daylight savings has helped though...



Mrs.X -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 5:24:41 PM)

Jae, do you have anything hanging from his crib to look at that you can bring with you? You can kind of see what I mean in THIS pic. Maybe think about getting some stuff like that for his crib, so that when he's not in his own bed, you can just clip those things onto the borrowed crib, PnP, etc.



lilyofthefield -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 5:39:08 PM)

LOL, Ryanne! Don't think I haven't thought about it! (no, I would never actually do that) [;)]

Nicole, isn't it funny... never before having a baby would 4 hours of sleep have seemed heavenly.

Jae, Caden actually slept better on vacation than he does at home! I think it was because he got so wore out every day.



Mrs.X -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 5:45:06 PM)

LOL @ taping the binky to his mouth!



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 10:00:45 PM)

Oh, I seriously contemplated it too! Actually, I still sometimes contemplate it, especially when I am fishing it out from behind the crib at 2am[8|] I just keep thinking that I won't still be replacing her pacifier when she's in highschool. I just won't.



Flintejae -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 11:37:03 PM)

lol



Brandy -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/6/2008 11:47:33 PM)

Do I fit into CC if I don't pull the car over every single time she drops her paci and starts crying? I just cannot stop driving every 2 minutes so I talk to her and reassure her and when I can stop I do.

oi vey.

I think we may be a bit CC but we don't leave her.. when we put her to bed we swaddle and rock/hug and get her real drowsy. Then she gets transferred to her sleeper in the bed and we sit next to her while she falls asleep. The last few nights I've only patted for a few seconds/minute and then just laid there waiting for her to drift off. If she starts fussing/crying I reassure her, pat her tummy, stop patting and wait. Within two minutes she's out.



Mrs.X -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/7/2008 1:22:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey

Oh, I seriously contemplated it too! Actually, I still sometimes contemplate it, especially when I am fishing it out from behind the crib at 2am[8|] I just keep thinking that I won't still be replacing her pacifier when she's in highschool. I just won't.

I did too...I was always trying to think of some invention that would keep the binky in their mouths but still be safe. I don't think it's possible. LOL! Timmy used to have one of those butterfly looking binkys, I think Mam makes them, so we used to swaddle him a little high so the blanket would go over the "wings" parts to help it stay in.



nicole6598 -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/7/2008 2:26:50 AM)

Brandy thank you for sharing that! I was going to mention that when I have read about CC (I think Ruth and I may have mentioned it..) that CC doesn't have to be about leaving them. It can be that you are right there with them, but that you are trying to help them get to sleep without relying on you. Whether that be just a hand on their back, just your presence, rocking the crib etc.



macokjc -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/7/2008 9:16:33 AM)

quote:

Just tape the pacifier in his mouth


They did that to my son when he was in the NICU. He was on all kinds of heart and breathing monitors, so I didn't really mind. He just wanted to be soothed, and I couldn't be there the whole time.

A few of my babies had acid reflux, so I would put them to sleep in the car seat. Then I would tuck a blanket in around them high enough to keep the bottom of the paci in, but low enough to not be in the way of their mouths or nose.



Flintejae -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/7/2008 9:17:17 AM)

Brandy - sounds like a dream! I'm so glad she's sleeping so well for u!



buckifn -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/7/2008 9:39:39 AM)

quote:

He just wanted to be soothed, and I couldn't be there the whole time.


Ladies

Have you ever thought of buying one of those bears/toys that allows you to record a message that the child can have of your voice?
For times when you can't be with him/her?


Plus how about buying a mini tape recorder and using it to record a tape of you reading stories, singing lullabyes, or something soothing to play when it's a rough night? We do this for the grandchildren and instead of being up for hours they often fall asleep within 5 minutes!

Part of the wonderful experience of parenting is learning what your child's cries mean..and they do not always mean hold me or Im going to die. They will not die from crying contrary to what some insinuate!



lilyofthefield -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/7/2008 10:16:12 AM)

Oh, Ryanne... you still have to fish out the binky in the middle of the night??!! Not what I wanted to hear! LOL Once he's big enough to put it in his own mouth, I think I'll put about 50 in his crib so he can always find one! [&:]

Ugh... last night was rough again. The good side is that as long as he doesn't lose the binky he can often go to sleep on his own now if he's sleepy. I just put on the music/lights on his mobile, give him his binky, woobie and bear and he'll coo and drift off - very sweet. However, as soon as he wakes up and binky is out - watch out!

Jae - what a beautiful new pic!



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/7/2008 10:38:52 AM)

How old is he now? Will he suck his thumb or fingers? I am not usually a fan of sucking thumbs/fingers since they are harder to take away but it might be a viable option.

Well, I am only fishing them out because I took the bumper pads out of her crib to fix them. They are all smooshed down and ugly looking, I just need to put something stiff in the center layer and then they can go back in her bed.



lilyofthefield -> RE: "Controlled Crying" (10/7/2008 10:44:39 AM)

He does get his thumb these days, but usually just chews on it. He's only comforted himself with it a time or two. I wouldn't mind at all if he decided to do that instead of the binky. He's fussing at me right now b/c he wants me to stick his binky back in his mouth and he's awake! I've created a binky monster! LOL



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