|
|
|
|
|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/2/2009 11:34:04 PM
|
|
|
isaacsmom
Posts: 1025
Joined: 12/2/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: zoebob
At our youth lock-ins there are no lights out ever and no going off by yourself. The whole group plays together all night long. If anyone happens to go off in a corner and fall asleep you are likely to have your face decorated and funny picture taken of you. It is a loud, active group activity and definitely no sleeping involved.
Same here. We had lock-ins all the time when I was growing up, and hubby and I have also been chaperones for them as an adults. Never had any problems, ever. No lights go out, it's all about staying up all night. *shrugs*
When I was in high school, my best friend had an older brother. My best friend's house was kind of the "get together" house for our big group of Christian friends that went to church/school together. Her parents expected respect and good behavior from everyone, and were very dilligent in overseeing all of us. I spent the night over there every week, and often her older brother had friends over spending the night with him, too. They all did their own thing and my best friend and I stayed in her room all night talking girl talk and watching movies, I don't think any of us thought anything about it. None of us dared bring the wrath of my best friend's dad upon us. 
Now, I would not let my child host a co-ed slumber party in my home. I would not let them attend one. I will let them attend a church lock-in that is properly chaperoned.
As for what I did when I was a teenager, I guess we just had an exceptional bunch of kids. I never thought anything of it.
Oh, but I did marry my best friend's older brother.
_____________________________
<<< My littles
*~*~*Rachel*~*~*
pirtlefarm.blogspot.com
Beware of posing as a profound person -- God became a baby. ~Oswald Chambers
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/3/2009 12:19:15 AM
|
|
|
myka
Posts: 978
Status: offline
|
We don't have 'lights out' for lock-ins either...
Most of the time when our youth groups (the 2 that I and my kids have been involved with) have 'overnight' activities, the boys and girls sleep at different locations -- usually different houses. The one time that we all slept in the same room, it was a church sanctuary -- on a mission trip, and the adult sponsors slept at strategic places that created a physical barrier between the boys and girls.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/3/2009 12:21:08 AM
|
|
|
a_sparrow
Posts: 569
Joined: 6/20/2006
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
|
We did have a problem at a lock-in, but that was because we were all left all left alone to sleep in a room in the church while the chaperons were elsewhere. Some guy saw an opportunity to bring in his girlfriend, who was not even a member of any of the church's youth groups, I don't think.
On other occasions, we went on co-ed retreats, were properly chaperoned, and everything was fine.
ETA- oh, yeah, this about co-ed slumber parties. I can't see any good reason for them, and would think they'd be likely to be disasters, unless the parents were hyper-vigilant and prepared to stay up all night. A brother and sister each separately inviting a same-sex friend to spend the night would be completely different, and could, depending on the situation, be appropriate.
_____________________________
Elizabeth
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/3/2009 7:20:42 AM
|
|
|
buckifn
Posts: 1739
Joined: 5/23/2006
Status: offline
|
Not on my watch. I have chaperoned many, many, trips with youth and even on the bus there are always a few kids looking for the slightest opportunity to do things they have no business doing with the opposite sex. It didn't matter if they were sleeping in the church sanctuary or the Day's Inn...
1 trip in part. stands out as part of a church youth group...a 16 yr old boy and a 15 yr old girl were making out in the church sanctuary at 1 a.m. he was immed. told to get dressed, his parent's called to meet us at a midway point and he was escorted home.
Given the times we live in today I think sleep overs are a bad idea period.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/3/2009 8:20:44 AM
|
|
|
Ellie-Mae
Posts: 2645
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
Status: offline
|
Did the girl get sent home too?
_____________________________
"You can" makes no difference. "You will" changes the world.
~BillyBob Jones in Grey soon to be authored by Caleb (12) for NaNoWriMo
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/3/2009 9:05:54 AM
|
|
|
Homegrownkids
Posts: 887
Status: offline
|
I don't know the age group you are talking about...I'd have to look at the post again. But after reading these, I realized that we have overseen YMCA lock ins for elementary kids. Some of these kids were barely potty trained, others went up to around 4th gr. or so. WE didn't have any problems with these. And, we did have lights out, everyone slept in a small gymnasium area while watching movies.
My mom, on the other hand, went to a youth lock in at church and most of the kids were good. But there always seemed to be a couple of kids that would take advantage and lie next to each other in the hallways kissing. Therefore...as I stated earlier, I wouldn't allow for co-ed sleep overs at the teenage/preteen level in my home or at church, or anywhere else. The Bible says to flee from the appearance of evil.
_____________________________
www.caringbridge.org/visit/pray4noah
God heals!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/3/2009 9:12:02 AM
|
|
|
his_chosen
Posts: 1301
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
Good golly--I didn't even think about this... Ds1 is 16yo and he is on a 3 week bicycle tour with 60 other students. There are about 10 or 20 adults also. I know they ahve to sign a "heart agreement" and will be sent home if they break it. Never thought to ask how they keep the boys and girls proper. But, considering they are riding about 100miles every dya, hopefully they are too tired to be stupid.
_____________________________
You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/3/2009 9:34:54 PM
|
|
|
caringnurse
Posts: 46
Joined: 3/29/2007
Status: offline
|
Ladies I have another question. I know of a brother and sister who sleep together. They are 7 and 8. I have seen some behavior which bothers me. Any ideas on this issue?
_____________________________
NAR
It is in the job description
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/3/2009 9:40:12 PM
|
|
|
sharonjef2007
Posts: 2302
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: caringnurse
Ladies I have another question. I know of a brother and sister who sleep together. They are 7 and 8. I have seen some behavior which bothers me. Any ideas on this issue?
You mean during a sleep over? If that were my family and we had a boy and girl sharing a bedroom, I'd just have the sleepover happen in the living room or such. That way the other sibling does not lose his/her sleeping space and privacy.
_____________________________
my blog......Picture This.......
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/3/2009 9:57:13 PM
|
|
|
Tinkerbell_
Posts: 8033
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Harvie
Current studies show that 13% of U.S. teenagers are sexually active by age 15... and in some parts of the country those figures are higher.
When I was in 7th grade, I had a number of friends who were sexually active.... and that was 30 years ago!
Trust teens with a co-ed slumber party? I wouldn't recommend it.
At Thing 1's middle school there were some kids caught having sex in a classroom. Completely freaky.
_____________________________
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/3/2009 10:03:55 PM
|
|
|
caringnurse
Posts: 46
Joined: 3/29/2007
Status: offline
|
No this is in the home and happens on more than it doesn't.. The girl doesn't like it because of some the things he does. I don't either. yet they stay very close. When they stay with me it isn't allow. At what age should and sister and brother stop sleeping together.
_____________________________
NAR
It is in the job description
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/3/2009 10:36:59 PM
|
|
|
sharonjef2007
Posts: 2302
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: caringnurse
No this is in the home and happens on more than it doesn't.. The girl doesn't like it because of some the things he does. I don't either. yet they stay very close. When they stay with me it isn't allow. At what age should and sister and brother stop sleeping together.
Age 7 and 8 are not even puberty ages yet. I really think puberity is the age that things should change. However, if the family is in a position where they only have 2 bedrooms and the kids have to share rooms, then they are just going to have to learn to deal with it.
What kind of things are you concerned about specifically? I don't really think I understand what you are getting at.
_____________________________
my blog......Picture This.......
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/4/2009 8:49:43 AM
|
|
|
Homegrownkids
Posts: 887
Status: offline
|
quote:
Ladies I have another question. I know of a brother and sister who sleep together. They are 7 and 8. I have seen some behavior which bothers me. Any ideas on this issue?
I would say preteen age...which could be different for each child. I think children get curious, or start to change mentally before they do physically. I think it depends on their maturity level and how much they understand. I have a 7 yr old Dd, she is very immature and very much a child. I've seen other 7 yr olds that are going on 12.
_____________________________
www.caringbridge.org/visit/pray4noah
God heals!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/4/2009 3:43:35 PM
|
|
|
bolt.
Posts: 1756
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: Canada
Status: offline
|
quote:
No this is in the home and happens on more than it doesn't.. The girl doesn't like it because of some the things he does. I don't either. yet they stay very close. When they stay with me it isn't allow. At what age should and sister and brother stop sleeping together.
OK, firstly, do you mean that this brother and sister share a room, or that they share a bed?
Secondly, you say, "happens on more than it doesn't" -- do you mean that some nights they sleep apart (rooms? or beds?) and other nights they sleep together? What I mean is do they have separate arrangements yet choose to sleep together?
Thirdly, the girl is uncomfortable "because of some the things he does" -- like children's things (kicking, stealing covers, hugging, keeping her awake) or adolescent things (showing private parts, active cuddling, making personal comments)?
If I'm reading this right, it sounds like the boy crawls into bed with the girl, and the girl does not feel free to say, "No." That's not right. If she does not want to share her bed, then she should not have to (if there is any choice). The parents should stand by her ability to say, "No." -- either some of the time (when she doesn't feel like company), or a solid, "No more. Stay out of my bed at night."
If both children are comfortable, and still acting as children, I don't have a problem with room sharing or cuddling up together like puppies in the same bed.
At about 11, I would start encouraging them that they are too big for cuddling now, and eventually limit them to their own sleeping places, even if they do need to continue to share a room. I don't mind teens sharing a room, as long as there are limits and respect between them... but I would watch out for odd behaviour, just in case.
_____________________________
Are you having trouble getting your daily dose of the life changing Word of God?
Let my friend Brian at Daily Audio Bible help you too.
>>audio link<<
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/5/2009 5:45:46 PM
|
|
|
manda59
Posts: 8200
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
Age 7 and 8 are not even puberty ages yet.
You reckon? Some friends of my daughter's started their periods at age 8.
_____________________________
"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
|
|
|
|
|
RE: co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/6/2009 8:22:46 AM
|
|
|
buckifn
Posts: 1739
Joined: 5/23/2006
Status: offline
|
quote:
Did the girl get sent home too?
Yes, but I don't know much else about her she was from another organization involved in the event.
One thing I have noticed is even on adult mission trips many times there are no separate sleeping/living arrangements for the week (or however long the trip is)
As for a boy and girl (siblings) sleeping together..emotional damage can happen far earlier than puberty.
|
|
|
|
|
co-ed slumber parties??? - 7/6/2009 8:33:45 AM
|
|
|
PinkCarnations
Posts: 10801
Status: offline
|
Regarding the siblings - if she doesn't want to share a bed with her brother, she doesn't have to give a reason why - she shouldn't have to. It doesn't sound like it's a situation where she and her brother need to share a bed, so why should she be forced to?
_____________________________
Thank you Veterans.
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
MARRIED TO A MILITARY PILOT ~ PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR TROOPS! 
