co-ed slumber parties??? (Full Version)

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artemis -> co-ed slumber parties??? (11/8/2008 2:38:10 PM)

My mom told me last week that my 11-year-old brother (6th grade) has been invited to two co-ed slumber parties so far this school year. Is this just some freak coincidence and the parents at his school are just crazy, or do your kids get invited to co-ed slumber parties too? My mom of course said that he couldn't go, but I was really surprised that some parents did let their kids attend. I teach jr. high and I've never heard my students talk about co-ed slumber parties, but maybe they're having them and I just don't know [:o]

If it matters, my brother goes to a private (not Christian) school for learning disabled kids.



stellaluna -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/8/2008 4:22:40 PM)

This is all the rage around here--in high school. [8|] My boss let her daughter go to and host several of them before she graduated. I wouldn't stand for it myself.



PrincessDonna -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/8/2008 5:45:48 PM)

N. O.

Bad idea.



zoebob -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/8/2008 6:48:07 PM)

I agree bad idea for the most part. Let me explain: when my brothers were in high school my mom hosted New Year's Eve parties for him and his friends. THey (my parents) stayed up all night. Some of the kids did too. A few fell asleep on the couches or floor watching movies. However, mom and dad made sure that they weren't cuddled as couples or anything. THere weren't even many couples: mostly just singles. HOwever, the intent of these parties wasn't to sleep and they stayed in public areas and were well chaperoned.

If it was something like that where I trusted the parents and they weren't upset by my questions to about supervision I might let my child attend. I'm not really sure this is a slumber party though. I do let my kids attend lock-ins but again no sleeping and no one goes off alone.



garsyt -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/9/2008 12:39:29 AM)

One of my ds's best friends is his girlfriend's twin brother.

Both sets of parents have made it BEYOND a shadow of a doubt clear that the only sleepovers the boys will be having will be at MY home and without the young lady present.

co-ed sleepovers? Nope! Even when we go to visit family and the kids want to sleep over with the cousins it's the girls going to one house and the boys going to another - but in this case it's to get away from each other![;)]

Co-ed, well supervised parties, sure - but NO unsupervised sleeping allowed!

Blessings,

Garsy



Karaboo2 -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/9/2008 12:50:55 AM)

When I was in highschool, I hung around with the geek team. There were 6 boys and 2 girls. We would always have a huge fireworks party at the home of one of the boys at New Year's, and again for Victoria Day. We always stayed overnight, but the boys would sleep in the basement, and the girls would sleep upstairs in the room with his sisters. Everyone always slept in quite late, except for myself. I'd be the early bird, as would his dad. Whenever we were up and going for the day, we'd sit and yap over a pot of tea until everyone else got up. Last person up was forced to cook breakfast for everyone else. Those were good times!!! (I'm still friends with that boy -- and his wife -- and was actually visiting over there this afternoon)



PinkCarnations -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/9/2008 1:40:10 AM)

Not a chance.



flyboy2610 -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/9/2008 3:05:16 PM)

"From such children come OTHER children!" Yenta the matchmaker "The Fiddler on the Roof"



coolfamily6 -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/11/2008 10:25:28 AM)

No co-ed parties in Middle School much less a sleepover one!

My daughter is having a slumber party Friday. One of the other parents asked if she had an older brother who was going to be in the house. No, older brother but her younger one is going to a friends partially for this reason. When I was their age, a friend's brother woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me he "liked" me. I never stayed overnight again. He was a nice guy but I did not feel comfortable after that.



Homegrownkids -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/11/2008 10:59:12 AM)

I would not go for this. I can see it happening though and am not totally shocked by it.

I'm not even crazy about having sleep overs at my own house because my Dd and Ds are so close together in age and when they have friends over... well.... I just don't like it, it is too much like a co-ed sleep over.



vicbhe -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/11/2008 11:28:07 AM)

I would not allow it! even with plenty of supervision. Even allowing my daughter to just stay the night at someone's house when that someone has brothers bothers me. I remember how I was when I was a kid and my sisters would have friends over. I would go nuts, my hormones would be raging all night as I would imagine these girls in their night clothes (or see them), or I would hear them taking showers. I didn't have to see anything my imagination was plenty.
Even a lock-in at church, something about it being overnight made it sexual to the boys (myself included). I look back now in my mind and I am amazed to remember how strong those hormone driven thoughts were at that age, especially for boys. I can promise you almost every boy over the age of puberty has sex on his mind, in some form or fashion, it is how we are wired; An all night event would only fuel those thoughts more.
Just a suggestion to anyone considering this, have a time when the 'boys' (or girls) go home or to someone else’s house, that way there is a cutoff and its not co-ed all night. Just knowing it's not all night tends to cool those hormones a bit.



coolfamily6 -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/12/2008 9:53:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: vicbhe

I would not allow it! even with plenty of supervision. Even allowing my daughter to just stay the night at someone's house when that someone has brothers bothers me. I remember how I was when I was a kid and my sisters would have friends over. I would go nuts, my hormones would be raging all night as I would imagine these girls in their night clothes (or see them), or I would hear them taking showers. I didn't have to see anything my imagination was plenty.
Even a lock-in at church, something about it being overnight made it sexual to the boys (myself included). I look back now in my mind and I am amazed to remember how strong those hormone driven thoughts were at that age, especially for boys. I can promise you almost every boy over the age of puberty has sex on his mind, in some form or fashion, it is how we are wired; An all night event would only fuel those thoughts more.
Just a suggestion to anyone considering this, have a time when the 'boys' (or girls) go home or to someone else’s house, that way there is a cutoff and its not co-ed all night. Just knowing it's not all night tends to cool those hormones a bit.


When this comes up with my daughter I will tell her about your experience. So far she has not wanted to do a lockin and we are glad. Thank you for your testimony about it.



Simway -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/12/2008 10:56:07 AM)

I would not allow this in my home, nor would I allow a child of mind to attent one where it is co ed. I understand adults could be there and have a open eye to all that is going on, but still I question : What message is this sending to these kids? I think the wrong one. Just my thinking. Simway



WalkingwithHim2 -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/12/2008 11:03:10 AM)

Co-ed sleepovers are all the rage in my town. I told Cadet1 (oldest son) that he could have a co-ed sleepover ....when he is married[:)]



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/12/2008 11:05:46 AM)

*snigger*

Once again I'm flowing against the tide. Last New Year's Eve a friend of Thing 1 (he was 11) stayed the night. She was a girl. They all slept in the living room and I in my room. I checked on them frequently throughout the night but they were fine. Thing 1 and his friend don't even look at each other like 'boy' 'girl' but 'friend' and 'friend'.

I don't think I would have multiple people over, but cases like that I don't see the harm. *shrug*



zoebob -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/12/2008 12:34:25 PM)

I think in that case I would find somewhere else for the girl to sleep or I would be right there in the living room with them



WalkingwithHim2 -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (11/12/2008 1:02:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

*snigger*

Once again I'm flowing against the tide. Last New Year's Eve a friend of Thing 1 (he was 11) stayed the night. She was a girl. They all slept in the living room and I in my room. I checked on them frequently throughout the night but they were fine. Thing 1 and his friend don't even look at each other like 'boy' 'girl' but 'friend' and 'friend'.

I don't think I would have multiple people over, but cases like that I don't see the harm. *shrug*


Not really flowing against the tide Tinkness just different... as Cadet1 is a VERY hormonal 13 year old boy. I know many people who are ok with it but it just wouldn't work for my boy.... have I mentioned that his "girlfriend" could be a supermodel she is so darned beautiful[:o]



PinkCarnations -> co-ed slumber parties??? (7/2/2009 7:33:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: artemis

My mom told me last week that my 11-year-old brother (6th grade) has been invited to two co-ed slumber parties so far this school year. Is this just some freak coincidence and the parents at his school are just crazy, or do your kids get invited to co-ed slumber parties too? My mom of course said that he couldn't go, but I was really surprised that some parents did let their kids attend. I teach jr. high and I've never heard my students talk about co-ed slumber parties, but maybe they're having them and I just don't know [:o]

If it matters, my brother goes to a private (not Christian) school for learning disabled kids.


You'll be happy to know that I just won the award for being the most closed-minded, old-fashioned mom around because I told my 16 year old dd that she couldn't host a co-ed sleep-over party.

I even got the "everybodys doing it, mom!" speech.

She is furious with me and says that she isn't speaking to me ever again. She's held true to that for the last hour.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (7/2/2009 7:45:48 PM)

Oh, no way. Not in our house. And our kids wouldn't be allowed to attend one.

Even if I was inclined to be lenient, or justify it in some way, I'd know better than to even bother asking dh. [8|]

I was always uncomfortable with the church lockins as a teen, and never attended one. When you have hormones and crushes and bf/gf stuff floating around in the air, I just can't see how it'd be wise to lock all that in a room, at night. [&:]



PinkCarnations -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (7/2/2009 8:05:33 PM)

I've never given any thought to the lock-ins at church. Then again there are so many adults there that they've never had a problem with it.



29redballoons -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (7/2/2009 8:44:03 PM)

In case any of you are ver totally col with lock-ins, let me tell you about ours...we had adults outnumbering kids...bout 3 more adults tahn kids...lights came on at 3am, and we called parents...got so tired of having to send boys away from girls and girls back to their side of the room.
It was ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!
Co-ed slumber parties happen here too, but they have always happened without the presence of our daughter...and for the record, every other kid is this town is allowed to go...lol at least according to her! ;0)

i can only hope and pray that one day she sees that I love her enough to fight for and with her every step of the way to keep her out of satan's grasp!



zoebob -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (7/2/2009 8:48:39 PM)

At our youth lock-ins there are no lights out ever and no going off by yourself. The whole group plays together all night long. If anyone happens to go off in a corner and fall asleep you are likely to have your face decorated and funny picture taken of you. It is a loud, active group activity and definitely no sleeping involved.



sharonjef2007 -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (7/2/2009 8:52:34 PM)

Yeah....co-ed stuff like this can get pretty shady, no matter how much oversight is given by adults!

I'd be a LITTLE more likely to allow it in high school then I would in middle school. Simply because, depending on what college the kids may go to, there won't be oversight and I think the teen having an idea of how to deal with that would be wise. It would really REALLY depend on the parents involved and the other kids involved.

If my child wanted to have a co ed slumber party, I'd say no way. I don't want to be responsible for that. I'd have a co-ed party, with the understanding that only the children of the same gender as the birthday kid will be staying over night. That way they get the co-ed party....but I sleep a little better not having to be the teenage raging hormones sex police.



29redballoons -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (7/2/2009 8:53:02 PM)

oh no, we were all in the sanctuary, this group was ridiculous!



Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: co-ed slumber parties??? (7/2/2009 10:25:37 PM)

Ha! I was so naive when my children were teens! I actually thought that one could trust christian children with this, invited them over, and I went to bed. Then I learned that at least one Sunday school teacher was teaching them that copulation was all right between unmarried couples if they were sure they would get married -- that and some other stuff.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.



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