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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/8/2008 1:36:44 PM
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Room2Grow
Posts: 392
Joined: 4/20/2005
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I can't believe nobody has thought to mention the Holy Spirit here- for *our* family, we have been convicted that one or more of *our* children would react very badly to the Santa's not real, Easter bunny's not real, etc ., but Jesus is still God. We have friends and family who do Santa- that's fine for them, I feel no reason to look down on them, but for *our* family we do not encourage, nor do we lie about it. I think many families who don't do Santa have been convicted about it- and for them it would be *sinful* to ignore the conviction. It is the same as many other things in life- for us, to push Santa would be sinful, for others who have not been convicted on the issue, it is not.
People ask us what we do, and I simply say, "nothing." We don't. If the girls pass Santa in the mall and say, That's Santa- well, yes, it is. If he is mentioned in a story book- no big deal. When they ask direct questions (which my oldest did this year) we explained that it is a game families play and that we choose not to. Also, we teach them the story of the original St. Nicholas and how he was a good man who loved God and helped other people, just like we should do. We do not have Santa all through our decorations, we do not visit Santa or send him letters, we simply acknowledge what the kids say about him and answer matter-of-factly or correct any misinformation. For us, whatever they think is fine, as long as *we* the parents are not feeding into it or lying.
OP- I wouldn't worry too much, just keep focusing on Christ and speaking the truth. For awhile, our oldest thought Santa went to other peoples houses but just skipped ours- as she grew, she figured out the "real deal" with our guidance, but we didn't feel the need to "hammer the truth home" when she was younger and still believed lots of other goofy things too (like vacuums could suck up entire pillows, etc.) 
_____________________________
Jennifer
Jesus knows me, this I love.
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/8/2008 3:43:32 PM
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laura...
Posts: 3395
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
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I always taught my children that Santa was pretend. There were plenty of adults in the family that were quite upset about that. However, I felt that if my message that Jesus Christ was real was to be believed then I better tell the truth about Santa.
I taught my children that Santa was just a fun part of Christmas. When they were about 3 or 4 they still believed that Santa was real even though I was teaching him that he was not. But, they also had to be taught that other fictional characters were not real like Barney and such. They almost insisted on believing in Santa at that age. It's okay. They weren't harmed by wanting to believe and still being told the truth.
I also taught them that if they got a present marked "from Santa" it just meant that the person who was giving them the gift wanted to be a secret. I had to do that because my mom loved to give gifts "from Santa". That opened up the opportunity for them to be "Santa".
I taught the same thing about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. The truth was very helpful in times when "Santa", "the Tooth Fairy" and "the Easter Bunny" were all broke and their presents were a bit delayed. I'll never forget the time I told my son he had to hold onto his tooth for a few days because the Tooth Fairy was waiting on a check. A few days later he asked me if the Tooth Fairy could come that night. LOL!! They still were quite amazed that she could exchange teeth for money under their pillow without them waking up.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/8/2008 4:34:50 PM
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laura...
Posts: 3395
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
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quote:
She started naming some of the fun things about Christmas and her excitement in waiting for the Christmas bell to ring. The children aren't allowed out of bed until the Christmas bell rings. We make them lay there to build their excitement. lol We can hear them whispering and giggling, then shouts of joy when the bell finally rings.
You ARE cruel.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/8/2008 4:35:58 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1783
Joined: 5/23/2006
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I also have recently realized people use Advent to give gifts to the children...I never thought of that, but I am sure it is a positive exp. for some families. I think I just may play Santa for someone this year since this thread has got me thinking lots about it.
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/8/2008 11:52:30 PM
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hnt
Posts: 666
Joined: 4/11/2005
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I don't remember growing with all the Santa debate myself. My folks did a very good job of showing us the true meaning of the season, but we had Santa as well. Santa never over rode the meaning of the season in our house. We had out advent wreath on the dinner table, and I remember doing the bible studies before dinner as we got closer in the weeks before. My brother and I were thrilled because we got to light the candles!  Pretty cool when you aren't allowed to play with matches! The reason for the season was very well defined for us.
I know people truly felt lied to when they found out about Santa, but I don't remember taking that way. My children didn't take it that way either. I remember being a little disappointed, and then not wanting to tell my folks I knew! My father had such a blast being Santa, and his thrill was watching us get the small gifts we received from him. He was proud as a peacock as the saying goes. My kids know, but I'm like Dad! I love to place an extra something there from Mr. and Mrs. Claus! Just to give you a hint about Dad tho - My mother? LOL She got gifts from Mr. and Mrs. Claus - Then the Reindeer, Then the cats in our family. Dad loved to watch her open those! He worked hard all year, and he loved to watch the fruits of his labor given to all of us. He praised God each year that he had given him the ability to do so. WE saw that aspect as well! 
There are alot of people that Santa is the reason for the season. If you are a Christian that isn't so. My folks did a wonderful job balancing the two. My children say I did as well. Every family is different, and we need to do what we feel is best for them! What is acceptable in my family may not be for others.......and that's okay!
HECK my teenager knows she will get a Santa gift! LOL just because mom enjoys seeing her face open it! I'm a cornball when it comes to that as well, but I - like my father am thankful that God allowed me the means to give me that thrill.....lol okay and her to!
_____________________________
h
Emotional abuse and Faith
Reaching for IT!!!!!!
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/9/2008 9:33:59 AM
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buckifn
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I really don't think we "have to tell" kids about Santa...either way they figure it all out as the years go by,,,,but if we teach them the principle of giving that is timeless.
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/9/2008 10:25:30 AM
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manda59
Posts: 7962
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HenriettasCat
We have never pushed Santa - but he gets a lot from school and relatives at this age.
That's the difficulty many parents face - they've not pushed Santa, but at the same time may not have specifically told them how things are.
quote:
He couldn't sleep and I read him the story of Saint Nicolas (in the hope that he might twig that he was a historical figure), but tonight I shall have to break the news to him gently (praying about how to do it now). I just hope that he is not too dissapointed.
Well, he would have been disappointed anyway if "Santa" hadn't brought him what he'd asked for, so you could at least see this as sparing him that disappointment. What we told our son (though he was 2 or 3 when he asked if Santa was real, so rather younger than your son) was that Christmas is a special time, and people like to make-believe and pretend that a funny old man in a red suit brings presents, but that he's not real. BUT that if he (your son) wants to pretend that Santa brings the presents, that's fine. And then be prepared to answer his questions - he may actually appreciate you and your husband more if he knows the presents come from you!
_____________________________
"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/9/2008 10:27:00 AM
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manda59
Posts: 7962
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
I really don't think we "have to tell" kids about Santa...either way they figure it all out as the years go by,,,,but if we teach them the principle of giving that is timeless.
The trouble with using Santa as an example of giving is that he gives more to rich kids than poor kids, and doesn't give at all to millions of children across the world.
(Edited to remove some surplus "alls"!)
< Message edited by manda59 -- 12/9/2008 11:02:34 AM >
_____________________________
"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/9/2008 10:38:41 AM
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HenriettasCat
Posts: 130
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Manda - I agree, the dissapointment of discovering Santa is not 'real' will be less than us letting him get his hopes up and then he doesn't get what he has had the faith for on Christmas morning - that seems far more cruel IMO - he is a very sensitive little boy. We have always promised him that we will tell him the truth and whilst we are happy to 'play' Santa what I am seeing is a little boy who whose beautiful childlike faith is potentially going to be hurt because it is being put into something that is no more than a 'game'.
As I have already told ds the story of Saint Nicolas and who he was (a rich young man who gave his wealth to the poor in secret) I'm thinking that we might talk about how we can be like 'Santa' to other children who really are poor. I've been looking at Present Aid (on Christian Aid's website) and I think ds will enjoy picking out some gifts which we can send 'in secret' to children in developing countries.
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/9/2008 3:48:02 PM
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kohls356
Posts: 614
Joined: 8/22/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
I really don't think we "have to tell" kids about Santa...either way they figure it all out as the years go by,,,,but if we teach them the principle of giving that is timeless.
The trouble with using Santa as an example of giving is that he gives more to rich kids than poor kids, and doesn't give at all to millions of children across the world.
(Edited to remove some surplus "alls"!)
I think most children stop believing in Santa by the age of 7 and if they haven't by then they will soon be figuring it out in their own or some other child is going to tell them. Children that are between 3-5 really wouldn't be aware that other children are getting more than do. If a child is old enough to understand that then it would probably be a good time to explain that Santa is pretend.
One of the things my parents told us was Santa didn't always bring everything we asked for. We could tell hom what we would like to get but he got to decide what he wanted to bring. So there was also a surprise for us not knowing for sure what Santa had decided to bring us.
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/9/2008 3:58:11 PM
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manda59
Posts: 7962
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kohls356
I think most children stop believing in Santa by the age of 7 and if they haven't by then they will soon be figuring it out in their own or some other child is going to tell them.
Well, we decided before we had children that we would be the ones to tell our children the truth about things, not leave them to figure things out by themselves, and we certainly didn't want their peers to be telling them things that we felt, as parents, that we should be telling them.
quote:
Children that are between 3-5 really wouldn't be aware that other children are getting more than do.
In the UK they likely would, as children start school at 4 (some start playgroup at 3), and post-Christmas chatter usually consists mostly of "what did you get?"
_____________________________
"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/9/2008 4:20:44 PM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 2656
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
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He was referring to the way that Santa Brings rich kids bigger gifts than the poor children.
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"You can" makes no difference. "You will" changes the world.
~BillyBob Jones in Grey soon to be authored by Caleb (12) for NaNoWriMo
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/9/2008 4:49:12 PM
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kohls356
Posts: 614
Joined: 8/22/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Well, we decided before we had children that we would be the ones to tell our children the truth about things, not leave them to figure things out by themselves, and we certainly didn't want their peers to be telling them things that we felt, as parents, that we should be telling them.
Well we actually thought the same thing which is why when our kids were little we didn't do Santa either. But looking back I think we realize now that it really wouldn't have been a bad thing for us to do Santa with our kids. I have yet to meet an adult that is still bitter or devasted that Santa wasn't real. If they are then I think they have bigger issues.
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/9/2008 4:50:36 PM
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manda59
Posts: 7962
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kohls356
I have yet to meet an adult that is still bitter or devasted that Santa wasn't real.
I personally was never devastated that Santa wasn't real - I was devastated that my parents hadn't told me the truth.
_____________________________
"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/9/2008 5:00:08 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 1697
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Room2Grow
I can't believe nobody has thought to mention the Holy Spirit here- for *our* family, we have been convicted that one or more of *our* children would react very badly to the Santa's not real, Easter bunny's not real, etc ., but Jesus is still God. We have friends and family who do Santa- that's fine for them, I feel no reason to look down on them, but for *our* family we do not encourage, nor do we lie about it. I think many families who don't do Santa have been convicted about it- and for them it would be *sinful* to ignore the conviction. It is the same as many other things in life- for us, to push Santa would be sinful, for others who have not been convicted on the issue, it is not.
People ask us what we do, and I simply say, "nothing." We don't. If the girls pass Santa in the mall and say, That's Santa- well, yes, it is. If he is mentioned in a story book- no big deal. When they ask direct questions (which my oldest did this year) we explained that it is a game families play and that we choose not to. Also, we teach them the story of the original St. Nicholas and how he was a good man who loved God and helped other people, just like we should do. We do not have Santa all through our decorations, we do not visit Santa or send him letters, we simply acknowledge what the kids say about him and answer matter-of-factly or correct any misinformation. For us, whatever they think is fine, as long as *we* the parents are not feeding into it or lying.
OP- I wouldn't worry too much, just keep focusing on Christ and speaking the truth. For awhile, our oldest thought Santa went to other peoples houses but just skipped ours- as she grew, she figured out the "real deal" with our guidance, but we didn't feel the need to "hammer the truth home" when she was younger and still believed lots of other goofy things too (like vacuums could suck up entire pillows, etc.)
Jennifer I think people who don't do Santa etc have had a conviction, they just haven't mentioned the Holy Spirit, but I know the Spirit convicted me that for ME and MY family it wasn't right. I also shared with my Bible study one year what was on my heart and some who had never given it much thought were also convicted :)
_____________________________
Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
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RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa - 12/9/2008 7:35:19 PM
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delete123
Posts: 592
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quote:
Manda59: I personally was never devastated that Santa wasn't real - I was devastated that my parents hadn't told me the truth.
I agree with Manda. I learned from my older sister who was upset with our parents.
However my husband started the Santa thing with our son, so all I do is emphasis that he need to pray to God and let Him know that he has been good. So this way God will answer his prayers and that Santa will stop by at God's instructions and leave him a present or two just like the wisemen gave Jesus gifts.
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Thing 2 lost his first tooth the first night we got to my aunt's house for Thanksgiving vacation. I was tired, and groggy, and doped up on allergy meds and forgot to put his money under his pillow the night before. When he got onto me for it, I told him she must have gone to Florida by accident and that I was sure she would be there that night; and she was. 
