RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (Full Version)

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manda59 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/9/2008 7:51:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: walterquez
I told my daughter about the real Santa, Saint Nicholas.



Thing, our modern Santa bears little resemblance to Saint Nicholas. Interestingly enough, in Continental Europe, Saint Nicholas's day is 6th December, and that is when a lot of the gift-giving is done.

From the Saint Nicholas Centre website: (my bold)

quote:


Widely celebrated in Europe, St. Nicholas' feast day, December 6th, kept alive the stories of his goodness and generosity. In Germany and Poland, boys dressed as bishops begged alms for the poor—and sometimes for themselves! In the Netherlands and Belgium, St. Nicholas arrived on a steamship from Spain to ride a white horse on his gift-giving rounds. December 6th is still the main day for gift giving and merrymaking in much of Europe. For example, in the Netherlands St. Nicholas is celebrated on the 5th, the eve of the day, by sharing candies (thrown in the door), chocolate initial letters, small gifts, and riddles. Dutch children leave carrots and hay in their shoes for the saint's horse, hoping St. Nicholas will exchange them for small gifts. Simple gift-giving in early Advent helps preserve a Christmas Day focus on the Christ Child.



macokjc -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/9/2008 10:04:23 PM)

One year I was co-teaching a 3rd grade class at a very large, popular Christian school. This school had a lengthy waiting list for students wanting to enroll. During a December reading class, the other teacher said something about how "Santa is a fun part of Christmas, but we know that he's not real and that the real meaning of Christmas is about Jesus." Well, this girl went home and asked her parents if Santa was real. They told her that he was, and then she told them what the teacher said. They went to the administrator and demanded that the teacher apologize in class and tell the students that "oops, she was wrong and that Santa really did exist." Of course, the administrators said absolutely not, and the parents withdrew the girl from the school immediately.



RemnantFrank -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/9/2008 10:36:12 PM)

Has anyone every thought what this world would be like if we had never told our children of a fictitious character called Santa and told our children the true meaning of Christmas as if Santa never existed. If we did that from the time they were born how great an impact we might have made upon our children and their children's children. Jesus said do not suffer the children to come unto me. What a hindrance we have caused in our children's lives over the years by introducing them to Santa instead of Christ?

What do you Think?



lynnmoon -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/9/2008 11:22:40 PM)

I've got a 6 year old and I agree with a couple of comments way back...from Tara P and someone else that I can't remember to quote directly right this second...oops. It totally depends on the child and the conviction. I don't look down on or think that any family is damaging their children by playing the Santa game but for my own child the traditional way wasn't going to work.

I don't have any horrible (or great) memories of Santa per se. I think I learned pretty quick that God's greatest gifts to me were my Great grandma and one uncle in particular. They always worked very hard to give us great childhood memories and that included their version of Santa. The ruse wasn't that deep...but I am pretty sure I always knew it wasn't true even though I didn't tell them. BUT I did know that they made serious sacrifices to get (and deliver sometimes 300 miles away) us stuff that they didn't have to get us so that we would have a good Holiday.

My life has been made way more "magical" to have been the benefactress of such selflessness and true love. I knew why I sometimes got less and why others might have gotten more and even still I couldn't dream of being more thankful.

So, when my own child came along, I knew I couldn't give credit for hard work, sacrifice and blessings to the fat dude with an infinite supply of things that are all there simply for the asking. It just didn’t seem right.

And I really just couldn't get around the whole message from the Lord of "don't lie".

As my son grows, it's fairly easy to see why God has led down the path that He has...and I thank God I didn't do a lot of stuff to convince him that Santa was really the one to talk to about stuff he wants. At age 6 my son is WAY into all things spiritual. His MOST FAVORITE person of discussion is Moses. And the very first question at the beginning of this school year was, "Mom, is Moses real? Did God really talk to him through a burning bush?" And the discussion has continued month after month. I mean he is REALLY fascinated with Moses! And every week, he comes home from school with more "verification" questions about these seemingly outlandish stories that his teacher is sharing about Moses and the Israelites. We confirm and discuss them and his fascination continues. I joke that he is gonna do his thesis on Moses at the end of the year. But even aside from Moses, he is so interested in spiritual things. The Father, the Son, how can they be the same, but different and still one God, Heaven, Hell, life, death, purpose and every other question that a good mother DOESN’T have the answers too. He wants to be baptized and take communion because he is 100% sure that he knows what it means to have accepted Jesus into his heart as his Savior.

I tell you this long and drawn out story to say that I feel so glad, especially this year around this time of year, that I’ve not muddied the waters of supernatural amazing with fake amazing. I’ve seen little cousins and friends totally floored by how cool it is that Santa can get to everybody’s house in such a short period of time or that he somehow keeps everybody’s gifts straight. But I also see my son’s face with that same level of amazement when I explained that yes it’s absolutely true that God parted a sea, sent a swarm of locust, spoke through a bush and absolutely listens to him and me and everybody else in the world when we pray. He doesn’t have to wonder if mom means real-real or Santa kind of real. And because he has taken this really strong interest in the Bible and the people of the Bible so early…I’m really glad that the 2 didn’t have the chance to overlap.



garsyt -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/9/2008 11:42:43 PM)

My 7 and 9 year olds were talking about this very subject on the way home from basketball practice last night.

The 7 year old asked if we were going to go to the mall to see Santa and do the picture thing. I said if she wanted to we could. She and her brother agreed that it would be fun. Then almost without missing a beat the 7 year old says - "It's fun to pretend about Santa even though I KNOW it's you and dad that get the presents for us and the santa at the mall is just pretending, and it about Jesus' birth and all that." I do think it's a lot about HOW a parent handles the Santa thing in the first place. In this house it's just a bunch of play acting and pretend. We talk about fiction and how stories are that - just stories and they understand that. Santa isn't front and center - just another piece of our holiday puzzle.

I guess for my kids it has never been a big deal. They KNOW whom their presents are from. Even when Grandma Great scribbles "from Santa" on a package they know it's her handwriting and it's really from her and Grandpa Great. But it's fun for them to pretend too. We have Santa ornaments and decorations. We have nativity scenes and decorations too. And we have snowmen stuff in abundance as well. My eldest is 15 now and I don't remember him ever believing that Santa was more then a fictional character based on a real historical figure. That's what my others believe as well, even though we may talk like Santa's coming on Christmas Eve and all.

Blessings,

Garsy



walterquez -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/9/2008 11:48:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: garsyt

Then almost without missing a beat the 7 year old says - "It's fun to pretend about Santa even though I KNOW it's you and dad that get the presents for us and the santa at the mall is just pretending, and it about Jesus' birth and all that. I do think it's a lot about HOW a parent handles the Santa thing in the first place.

Sometimes we wonder if we're doing everything we can to teach our children, not knowing if it is working. And then we hear our children make comments like this and it melts our heart to tears.



lynnmoon -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/9/2008 11:56:07 PM)

Oh, I must say…especially for the benefit of the OP who has a 3 year old. Of course, Santa is all over the place and we certainly didn’t make it this far without seeing him (because mom likes T.V. way too much to turn it off entirely)!!!!!!!! Don’t let it stress you. Just pray and use your judgment and God given wisdom.

My son likes to pretend with Santa...and I don't forbid it. He loves Larryboy, Spiderman and he used to love Elmo. I don't forbid those guys either, so I figured I wouldn't discriminate against Santa in that way, lol. But I don't ever lie about it or make it anything more real than what it is. Santa is a real character and is really on T.V. and various ones of them really show up in the malls across town. He isn’t generally in danger of telling anyone that Santa isn’t real because well…he is clearly “something” in the noun department so I don’t know that my son thinks that there is much of an argument to be had. And that’s good too because I don’t need anybody accusing my child of spoiling their child’s holiday joy or killing their innocence by announcing that Santa ain’t real.

Proceed in faith, in all things and God will reward your efforts!!!



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/10/2008 9:01:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: garsyt

My 7 and 9 year olds were talking about this very subject on the way home from basketball practice last night.

The 7 year old asked if we were going to go to the mall to see Santa and do the picture thing. I said if she wanted to we could. She and her brother agreed that it would be fun. Then almost without missing a beat the 7 year old says - "It's fun to pretend about Santa even though I KNOW it's you and dad that get the presents for us and the santa at the mall is just pretending, and it about Jesus' birth and all that." I do think it's a lot about HOW a parent handles the Santa thing in the first place. In this house it's just a bunch of play acting and pretend. We talk about fiction and how stories are that - just stories and they understand that. Santa isn't front and center - just another piece of our holiday puzzle.

I guess for my kids it has never been a big deal. They KNOW whom their presents are from. Even when Grandma Great scribbles "from Santa" on a package they know it's her handwriting and it's really from her and Grandpa Great. But it's fun for them to pretend too. We have Santa ornaments and decorations. We have nativity scenes and decorations too. And we have snowmen stuff in abundance as well. My eldest is 15 now and I don't remember him ever believing that Santa was more then a fictional character based on a real historical figure. That's what my others believe as well, even though we may talk like Santa's coming on Christmas Eve and all.

Blessings,

Garsy

Your kids remind me of my kids sometimes. [:)] The boys like the idea of leaving cookies and milk and stuff out for "Santa" but they know it's Mum who's going to get it. [8D]

Although the other day someone asked Thing 2 if he believed in Santa and he said, "Of course I do! I just call him Dad!" [:D][:D][:D]



garsyt -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/10/2008 9:11:17 AM)

quote:

Although the other day someone asked Thing 2 if he believed in Santa and he said, "Of course I do! I just call him Dad!"


I like that response!

Blessings,

Garsy



buckifn -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/10/2008 9:34:49 AM)

quote:

What a hindrance we have caused in our children's lives over the years by introducing them to Santa instead of Christ?

What do you Think?


Thoughts of Santa has NEVER hindered me in regards to knowing Christ. Christ's birthday was not on Dec. 25th anyhow so it's all semantics imo.



PinkCarnations -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/11/2008 1:41:15 AM)

Some of us never got to believe in Santa at all. Santa does not usually make an appearance for orphans or foster children.

When I was adopted and Santa came in to play, I wondered why he never cared about me before. My parents had worked hard to encourage me to believe in Santa. Now, they had to admit that they were lying.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lynnmoon

I've got a 6 year old


Gosh Lynn, that just doesn't seem possible!



momma_bee -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/11/2008 8:10:12 AM)

You know - this has me thinking that someone really needs to talk to DeeDee. She is 11. I never wanted to do Santa, but compromised with 'santa gifts'- one or two things that Mom would always say no to. My biggest struggle was the year that Santa left 'the rest of the gifts' at Granny's and then when I complained that wasn't the message we wanted to send, Granny gave the kids LOTS of gifts.

We never talked to BigBee and he never asked. He is 14 now. I assumed DeeDee is doing what my nephew did - pretending for Mom & Dad's sake without her realizing how much I disliked Santa.

But, the other day, a mom said that she hid an Easter Basket in the dishwasher and DeeDee looked up and asked her why she hid it and Mom apologized to me. Could it be that DeeDee still believes? Now, I'm tramatized. Do I tell her now? Two weeks before? Causing melodramatic tears and anguish (don't know where she gets THAT) Do I play along? Won't she be teased by her peers for believing in magic?

And, isn't there magic at Christmas time. In the lower case sense of the word. Amazing things happen. Voices sound better. The air is clearer. The stars a wee bit brighter. The magic, the amazement, the wonder is in US. Why can't she find that same wonder in how the gift got there?



manda59 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/11/2008 8:43:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: momma_bee
And, isn't there magic at Christmas time. In the lower case sense of the word. Amazing things happen. Voices sound better. The air is clearer. The stars a wee bit brighter. The magic, the amazement, the wonder is in US.




That largely depends on who you are, and where you are.

If you're homeless and/or alone, probably not. For many in difficult circumstances it can be the worst time of the year. In the UK we have a national charitable organisation called the Samaritans, who "provides confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide" (from their site here. They report that their busiest time of year is the Christmas period.

Any "magic" is of our own making, perhaps wishful thinking about how we'd rather life is. Maybe that's why some adults like to keep up the pretence even after their children realise there's no Santa.



sen10tious -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/11/2008 11:21:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: momma_bee

And, isn't there magic at Christmas time. In the lower case sense of the word. [...] The magic, the amazement, the wonder is in US. Why can't she find that same wonder in how the gift got there?

I think the danger is in counterfeit magic.

I got an email yesterday – I will let you all decide for yourselves whether you think it is "cheesy clever" or "deeply insightful."
The point that I want you to take away from it is how counterfeits are circulating in the world to bump us a little off track. At some point, kids WILL need a reality check about Santa. The issue has more facets than how well a kid handles it or at what age; there is also the side where God allows parents a bit of grace in this area, and He is checking to see how you will present Him to your children.

Children are called to different purposes in life. Samson wasn't supposed to drink grape juice or get a haircut. He probably would not have been allowed to indulge in Santa stories either. But not every child will be called to defeat an army using nothing more than a donkey's jawbone. Grape juice is full of antioxidants and God did not prohibit other kids from eating grapes. I think He will be checking to see how parents handle teaching their children about the potential harms of drunkenness, however. Santa, and his bowl of grape jelly, must be presented responsibly and truthfully.

Here is the email:

quote:

Santa lives at the North Pole,
JESUS is everywhere.
Santa rides in a sleigh,
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.
Santa comes but once a year,
JESUS is an ever present help.
Santa fills your stockings with goodies,
JESUS supplies all your needs.
Santa comes down your chimney uninvited,
JESUS stands at your door and knocks.. and then enters your heart.
You have to stand in line to see Santa,
JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.
Santa lets you sit on his lap,
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.
Santa checks a list to know your name,
JESUS knew our name before we did.
Santa can offer a "HO HO HO,"
JESUS offers health, help and hope.
Santa says "You better not cry"
JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you.
Santa's little helpers make toys
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions.
While Santa puts gifts under your tree
JESUS became our gift and died on the tree.



manda59 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/11/2008 2:07:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sen10tious
I got an email yesterday – I will let you all decide for yourselves whether you think it is "cheesy clever" or "deeply insightful."


My answer is "neither"! Because Santa ISN'T any of those things, because he isn't real.

I would stop at "Jesus is" and "Santa isn't".



buckifn -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/11/2008 2:35:47 PM)

I really like that email sen....but I don't think most kids need an explanation on what is real or what isn't...with enough time and enough people around they figure out the truth and a lie, the real and the fake rather quickly...kids are a lot smarter than some adults about those things.



brandynorris -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/17/2008 1:25:36 AM)

You know i haven't really thought about this until now. Our 9 ear old knows he isn't real, but i do think that i will tell my son the truth when the time comes because i will not lie to him about and i do not want to feed into the situation either. This helped me also so thanks he he



PinkCarnations -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/17/2008 1:33:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

quote:

ORIGINAL: walterquez
I told my daughter about the real Santa, Saint Nicholas.



Thing, our modern Santa bears little resemblance to Saint Nicholas. Interestingly enough, in Continental Europe, Saint Nicholas's day is 6th December, and that is when a lot of the gift-giving is done.

From the Saint Nicholas Centre website: (my bold)

quote:


Widely celebrated in Europe, St. Nicholas' feast day, December 6th, kept alive the stories of his goodness and generosity. In Germany and Poland, boys dressed as bishops begged alms for the poor—and sometimes for themselves! In the Netherlands and Belgium, St. Nicholas arrived on a steamship from Spain to ride a white horse on his gift-giving rounds. December 6th is still the main day for gift giving and merrymaking in much of Europe. For example, in the Netherlands St. Nicholas is celebrated on the 5th, the eve of the day, by sharing candies (thrown in the door), chocolate initial letters, small gifts, and riddles. Dutch children leave carrots and hay in their shoes for the saint's horse, hoping St. Nicholas will exchange them for small gifts. Simple gift-giving in early Advent helps preserve a Christmas Day focus on the Christ Child.



I used to have a roommate from Holland. That is when she and her family opened gifts.



rawr.ben -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/17/2008 1:46:45 AM)

"I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a sillyheart."

- Uncle Buck



laura... -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/17/2008 9:06:22 AM)

My husband played Santa last night at a Christmas party for disadvantaged families. There were about 200 people there. I was Mrs. Claus. That's the first time I've ever done anything like that. I was amazed at how much everyone enjoyed Santa. Of course the kids loved him. I overheard one little girl telling someone, "See, I told you he was real." But, what really surprised me was how much the adults loved Santa. If my children were still little I would still tell them the truth...Santa isn't real but he's a fun part of celebrating Christmas.



Jhud -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/17/2008 10:57:37 AM)

quote:

I told my daughter about the real Santa, Saint Nicholas.


This reminds me; when my oldest son was a wee one we talked about Santa being pretend and that it is alright to pretend as long as one knows the difference between what is pretend and real. The segued into a conversation about where the idea of Santa came from, and we told him about St. Nicholas, who was a Christian who lived long ago and blessed people by giving them gifts.

My son however, from a very young age was always a fairly efficient and logical thinker, and we had relayed to us a conversation he had with his cousin (who believed in Santa) about whether Santa was real. His cousin insisted Santa was real, and my son responded, "No he isn't - Santa isn't real, Santa is dead."

Which apparently caused no little consternation amongst the young ones, not to mention a few parents. [:)]



manda59 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/17/2008 11:04:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: laura...
But, what really surprised me was how much the adults loved Santa.


My theory is that some adults love the notion of Santa because it keeps alive an illusion that real life is nicer and more magical than it really is.



Sideways -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/17/2008 1:21:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jhud
we had relayed to us a conversation he had with his cousin (who believed in Santa) about whether Santa was real. His cousin insisted Santa was real, and my son responded, "No he isn't - Santa isn't real, Santa is dead."

Which apparently caused no little consternation amongst the young ones, not to mention a few parents. [:)]


Ouch. That's not good. [&:] I hope you corrected him on being mean to kids who don't have his religious convictions. We won't do Santa either, by the way.

I think many adults enjoy fantasy play as much as children, and there's nothing wrong with that as long as you still meet your responsibilities in the real world.



Sideways -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/17/2008 1:25:58 PM)

One sad thing I just heard? A young girl wrote to Santa to ask him to stop her abuser from touching her anymore. The blessing is that an adult actually read it, and the police now have the man in custody.

Maybe she just felt safer writing Santa then telling an adult in her life. [&:] But at least she is safe, now.



Jhud -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/17/2008 3:45:07 PM)

quote:

Ouch. That's not good. I hope you corrected him on being mean to kids who don't have his religious convictions. We won't do Santa either, by the way.


Well, he wasn't being mean; just stating the facts as he understood them. I did explain to him that if other kids want to pretend Santa is real, it's up to their parents to explain otherwise, not us.



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