My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (Full Version)

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Leslie_JnJs_mom -> My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/6/2008 9:46:02 PM)

I have no idea how she got that idea. We were putting up decorations and she was so excited to see the Santa ones I have. I tried to tell her that Santa is just something fun to pretend. She said no he is at the north pole. I went ahead and took her to see Santa at the mall and her first question was where is your sleigh. He told her he left it on the roof. I am worried about her getting her heart broken if she really gets into the Santa thing only to find out it is not true. I have heard of kids who are devastated when they find out Santa is not real. I teach her about the birth of Jesus and the christian meaning of Christmas but I wonder if I should let her have her fun with Santa or really push it that there is no Santa.



Sideways -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/6/2008 9:50:50 PM)

Well, you have been honest with her that there is no Santa, but at 3 years old, I don't see a need to really push that there is no Santa. After all, children have all sorts of imaginary friends don't they?

I would go the middle road, don't play into the Santa fantasy, and ask that grandparents and such not play into it either. But don't try to force the Santa games out of her. Let her play at it as she likes, and it's very probable that Santa will be nothing more then a story by the time she starts Kindergarten.

I think the Santa thing is much more devastating when children find that their parents have been lying the whole time, but you have never lied to your daughter, so I doubt she'll even remember a period when she believed in Santa.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/6/2008 10:25:29 PM)

^^^^ what she said...can't really top that!

Anyone remember the Peanut man from the planter's peanuts containers? Well, HE was my imaginary friend, lol. I can't see that Santa (your way -not some people's way) is any better or worse.



PinkCarnations -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/6/2008 10:31:20 PM)

I agree with sideways.



csl7037 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/6/2008 10:52:00 PM)

I think Sideways is right, too. I remember being so frustrated that it seemed so impossible to escape when my kids were that age. I naively thought we could have a Santa-free Christmas in our home...I guess that worked till they met other kids and saw the commercials between Wiggles and Dora...it just can't be avoided. But I think you've handled it right - honesty at her level. My 9 year old now has started pretending there's a Santa - even wrote a letter to him for the first time this year! She knows better. Part of it, I think is to annoy her no-nonsense brother (he's almost 8). She's just being silly at this point.

IMO, you've also got to let them pretend so that, when they get a little older, knowing it's pretend, you can explain to them that some kids their age don't realize it's pretend so they need to be careful not to upset them. That's hard! My dd actually has friends who still "believe" so I've always been worried about my "Scroogey" kid saying something to devastate the poor little lied-to kids.



sen10tious -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/6/2008 11:20:37 PM)

A quarter of a century ago, I asked God about this very thing. I got a two word answer: Don't lie.

You are already following that. Around the time my child was that age, Disney's Snow White movie had just been re-released in theaters. That was the first movie he ever saw. He easily understood that Santa was no more—and no less real than Snow White. I have never heard of anyone being devastated to learn that Snow White isn’t real. But millions have enjoyed the fantasy.



cynthia -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 2:27:46 AM)

We have three children. Santa is all around at Christmas time. Children want to believe in Santa. What we told our children was that Santa is not a real person. He is a fun character that was made up for Christmas time and is partly based on a man who really lived. We told them not to tell other children that Santa isn't real, because many parents like to play the Santa game with their children. It is none of our business to tell these children that their parents are telling them a made up story.

My children have not suffered in the least by being told the truth from a young age. They enjoyed being in on the secret.

Even though we told them Santa wasn't real, they were somewhat confused due to there being so much about Santa all around. I recall one day one of my children had seen two Santa's on the same day and remarked that they didn't even look alike. That was confirmation that Santa really was just a story.

We didn't worry about it. We treated it light heartedly and told our children the truth from the beginning. It worked fine for our family to do it that way.



manda59 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 4:17:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leslie_JnJs_mom
I have no idea how she got that idea. We were putting up decorations and she was so excited to see the Santa ones I have. I tried to tell her that Santa is just something fun to pretend.



I'd say just keep slipping that one in from time to time, saying "it's fun to pretend" or "it's fun to make-believe, isn't it?" but don't buy into it at all, ie don't actively encourage it. (To me, taking her to see "Santa" would be actively encouraging it; if it was me, I wouldn't do that again).



sen10tious -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 9:09:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59
i.e. don't actively encourage it.


Along that line, you might want to do something about the Santa ornaments—there are several ways you could handle that. You could use them as a teaching point and hang them on the back side of the tree, a place of "less honor," and then make a big to-do about putting some nativity ornaments front and center, a place of greater honor. Or you could toss them out or keep them in storage until they cease to be her "idols."

As a general principle, decorations ought to be in keeping with the meaning of the celebration. We use a lot of red hearts, musical instruments, manger scenes, birds, etc. I know one woman who has spent the past 15 years collecting wise men, camels and stars. Her entire house is decorated in that theme now and it is absolutely stunning. Everywhere you look you are reminded of the anticipation of seeing the King.



denbert -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 9:13:11 AM)

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What? Are you telling me there's no Santa?



sen10tious -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 9:17:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: denbert

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What? Are you telling me there's no Santa?


No, I am saying that he is just as real as Snow White, and maybe one flake more. [sm=icon_smile.gif]



denbert -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 9:21:31 AM)

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Whew!



leah777 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 9:29:22 AM)


I understand perfectly that Christian parents don't want to -- and shouldn't lie to their children, but I have to say that the whole 'devastation' thing has been carried a bit far, IMO. My parents weren't strong Christians, and we did the whole 'santa' thing (In fact, I did it with my kids, too).

I don't remember at what age I stopped believing in Santa, but I do know that I wasn't 'devastated' over my parents 'lying' to me, or even finding out he was no more than a make-believe character, and really hadn't delivered me all those presents at Christmas time. I honestly don't remember any thoughts of my parents 'lying' to me, so if I had those, I have to believe they were very short-lived. I wonder how many kids really are 'devastated' or even severely disappointed, let alone traumatized over that. We tell our kids many make-believe stories when they are growing up, and if it weren't for those stories, imagination might be all but extinct, so I hardly think it would harm them to believe this one for a while.

I don't disagree with the way it's been suggested to handle it here, just think we could all relax with our kids and allow them to enjoy their childhood a bit more. I guess I'm from a different era . . . one which encouraged imagination and seemed to not encourage pushing a kid to think like an adult . . I think that's done a lot these days -- by well-intentioned parents who just want the best for their child.



denbert -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 9:42:35 AM)

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Now Leah, you're just saying that cuz it's true and you know it!



csl7037 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 9:58:04 AM)

I understand what you're saying, Leah. That's why several of us have said our biggest concern is that our kids "in the know" would say something to ruin it for a friend. But besides the aspect of telling them a lie, I think this is a somewhat different generation than when we were kids...at least comparing my childhood to my children. It seems like my kids just have everything and it's such a struggle to make them appreciate any of it! It's a year round issue for us and the last thing I want my kids thinking is that their Wii just magically appeared! They pretty much seem to think that anyway! We have a "Daddy giveth and Daddy taketh away" policy (hope that's not sacriligious). They need to realize Daddy works hard to provide the things they need and some of the things they want - and if they don't appreciate it (or us) it can be gone just as easily. I want them to know their life and their fun Christmas is made possible by Daddy's diligence and hard work and by God's grace and blessing.



Szaftoo -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 10:02:17 AM)

We never lied to our kids and they knew from the beginning that Santa wasn't real. However, I agree with Cynthia, kids are much smarter than you think and they usually figure out the whole Santa thing by themselves. We had Santa as a small part of our holiday and eventually he just sort of fizzled out, same with the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy.
Kids see Santa is seasonal and goes in a box after Christmas. They see Jesus as alive all year and a daily part of their life.



momma_bee -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 10:15:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Szaftoo

Kids see Santa is seasonal and goes in a box after Christmas. They see Jesus as alive all year and a daily part of their life.


EXCELLENT!!!

I had an adult tell me tha Santa is real, and isn't imaginary It is his parents playing a part and he did the same for his kids.

He compared it to changing hats at work / home. At the time he went into stores, delivering chips. He said that if a kid asked him for help, he put on his 'daddy' hat. He wasn't that kids father, but he would help as if it were his own child. He wasn't pretended to be someone elses father, but rather filling a role.

Santa's role is to indulge and spoil and bring smiles.

That being said - anyone can fill this role, regardless of the color of their coat or the length of their beard.

Christ's role is salvation - no one else can give us that.



manda59 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 10:23:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leah777
I understand perfectly that Christian parents don't want to -- and shouldn't lie to their children, but I have to say that the whole 'devastation' thing has been carried a bit far, IMO. But what damaged me was not that Santa was not real, but that they had not been truthful with me.

Well I for one had always believed everything my parents told me, and I WAS devastated when I found out that they'd been lying to me about Santa. In fact, even once I'd realised, I still had to play along and pretend he was real just so that it would not spoil things for them.
quote:

ORIGINAL: leah777
I don't disagree with the way it's been suggested to handle it here, just think we could all relax with our kids and allow them to enjoy their childhood a bit more. I guess I'm from a different era . . . one which encouraged imagination and seemed to not encourage pushing a kid to think like an adult . . I think that's done a lot these days -- by well-intentioned parents who just want the best for their child.

My children (now 19 and 15) had a great childhood, with lots of imagination and pretend games - but they always knew what was pretend and what was real.

Besides, BOTH of my children were relieved to know Santa wasn't real - they didn't like the idea of some strange man being able to get into our house when we were asleep.[8|]



Sideways -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 10:48:03 AM)

It is a little funny, though. A gentleman at a church I used to visit frequently was a natural dead ringer for Santa Clause. He wasn't dressed up or anything; he just looked exactly like you'd expect Santa to look outside of costume.

At our church it is "Santa" who gives the children's message on the 4th Sunday of Advent. dH and I really, really hate that.

My hubby was not devastated to find out that Santa was real, but he did continue to pretend that Santa was real for several more years because he thought that if he let on that he knew the truth, his parents would stop giving him presents.

We stay clear of Santa at our household, and in laws will as well, if they know what's good for them. dH's brother was also raised with Santa, and his girls will not be taught that Santa is real either.



manda59 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 11:07:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways
We stay clear of Santa at our household, and in laws will as well, if they know what's good for them. dH's brother was also raised with Santa, and his girls will not be taught that Santa is real either.



I think we must have done quite a good number on our dd. [;)] When she was three or four, and writing her Christmas card to her dad, she drew a picture of Santa, crossed him out with a great big X and wrote "Boo! Boo!" alongside. [:D]



relady -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 11:57:32 AM)

quote:

My children have not suffered in the least by being told the truth from a young age. They enjoyed being in on the secret.
And my parents played the game with us to the hilt, and we did not suffer in the least when we figured out that he wasn't "real". We did understand that the spirit behind him is very real, and we all grew up fine on that score. Same with the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy, LOL.

quote:

I don't disagree with the way it's been suggested to handle it here, just think we could all relax with our kids and allow them to enjoy their childhood a bit more. I guess I'm from a different era . . . one which encouraged imagination and seemed to not encourage pushing a kid to think like an adult . . I think that's done a lot these days -- by well-intentioned parents who just want the best for their child.

Wow, Leah is smart! [;)]



manda59 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 12:37:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: relady
We did understand that the spirit behind him is very real, and we all grew up fine on that score. Same with the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy, LOL.



Hmmm, the spirit that gives more to children from families who have (or from families who are prepared to get into debt), than to children from families who don't have?

Not a "spirit" I wanted our children being introduced to. [8|]



Sideways -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 12:52:07 PM)

Go into debt?

Considering that the Tooth Fairy gives out quarters per teeth, a family would have to be pretty bad off.



csl7037 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 1:03:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways
At our church it is "Santa" who gives the children's message on the 4th Sunday of Advent. dH and I really, really hate that.


Ugh! We had a former children's minister who used to have Santa parade through church and it about drove me bonkers!!



manda59 -> RE: My 3 year old thinks there is a Santa (12/7/2008 1:21:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways

Go into debt?

Considering that the Tooth Fairy gives out quarters per teeth, a family would have to be pretty bad off.




You know very well that I was referring to Santa there, lol.[;)]



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