|
|
|
|
|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 1:27:52 PM
|
|
|
oneGodonename
Posts: 121
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline
|
If he said that he has been redeemed by the Grace of God? I have heard a few opinions on the matter, and no, I'm not considering it as I know of no such man. But there are a couple men in my church who are very feminine and truthfully, that is a complete turn-off for me.
Thoughts?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 1:31:15 PM
|
|
|
Prairiehiker
Posts: 4027
Status: offline
|
Sorry, no. I don't like effeminate men!
_____________________________
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and
Lead me in the way everlasting Psalm 139:22-24
-------------------------------------
Go Steelers!!!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 1:32:02 PM
|
|
|
blueeyedgirl2
Posts: 2230
Joined: 8/31/2008
Status: offline
|
Nope, not a chance. . .
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 1:43:07 PM
|
|
|
jesuschick247
Posts: 3412
Status: offline
|
Yeah...no. I would love him as a brother in Christ, but more than that, no.
_____________________________
"I know it sounds crazy, 'cause it's been so long. But you're standing here before me and I can't move on without knowing you're surviving and you'll be okay."-Jonny Diaz-
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 1:53:41 PM
|
|
|
oneGodonename
Posts: 121
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Sorry, no. I don't like effeminate men!
That's where I am...one of these men that I mentioned is married and has a little girl. He does hair and everything. I'm sorry if this sounds immature, but I'm laughing to myself right now because I just can't do it either. I trust God, but...I can't stand if a straight man whines a lot so I definitly couldn't handle someone whose mannerisms mirror mine.
LOL
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 1:58:25 PM
|
|
|
jesuschick247
Posts: 3412
Status: offline
|
This is going to sound horrible, but I want a guy who spends less time in front of the mirror in the morning than me. I have a friend that straightens his hair, wears eyeliner, and takes twice as long as I do to get ready, that kind of guy is so NOT my type! I like manly men...
_____________________________
"I know it sounds crazy, 'cause it's been so long. But you're standing here before me and I can't move on without knowing you're surviving and you'll be okay."-Jonny Diaz-
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 2:01:09 PM
|
|
|
ta_mosquito
Posts: 10998
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
Status: offline
|
Since this thread is written by a woman for women, I'm moving it to Women Only. (She Says is for men to ask the questions.)
Thanks!
Tricia
Forums Moderator
Please do not reply to this message within the forums or chat.
Please email Community@salemwebnetwork.com with questions, comments, or concerns.
Please do not send me PMs regarding this message.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 2:05:38 PM
|
|
|
oneGodonename
Posts: 121
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
This is going to sound horrible, but I want a guy who spends less time in front of the mirror in the morning than me. I have a friend that straightens his hair, wears eyeliner, and takes twice as long as I do to get ready, that kind of guy is so NOT my type! I like manly men...
That doesn't sound horrible. I used to know a girl who is a psychology major and she told me that as children, the first people that we're attracted to are our parents (ew, I know), but if that's true and your dad is a "manly man" then you wouldn't like that. I'm AA, and I've never met a manly man in my culture that did all of that. Because I like hair, I wouldn't mind the hair aspect of what you mentioned, but eye liner? There's no way that a man can justify eyeliner to me. I'm almost iffy about clear fingernail polish on manicured hands. I don't mind metrosexuals to an extent. I like a person who cares a lot about their appearance, but eyeliner????? When I saw Bret Michaels for the first time I was like, "He has on eye liner????" I couldn't wrap my mind around that one. I don't know too many guys that do a whole lot when getting ready. I had a male friend who didn't even use lotion because he said that it was feminine. LOL
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 2:17:47 PM
|
|
|
jesuschick247
Posts: 3412
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: oneGodonename
quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
This is going to sound horrible, but I want a guy who spends less time in front of the mirror in the morning than me. I have a friend that straightens his hair, wears eyeliner, and takes twice as long as I do to get ready, that kind of guy is so NOT my type! I like manly men...
That doesn't sound horrible. I used to know a girl who is a psychology major and she told me that as children, the first people that we're attracted to are our parents (ew, I know), but if that's true and your dad is a "manly man" then you wouldn't like that. I'm AA, and I've never met a manly man in my culture that did all of that. Because I like hair, I wouldn't mind the hair aspect of what you mentioned, but eye liner? There's no way that a man can justify eyeliner to me. I'm almost iffy about clear fingernail polish on manicured hands. I don't mind metrosexuals to an extent. I like a person who cares a lot about their appearance, but eyeliner????? When I saw Bret Michaels for the first time I was like, "He has on eye liner????" I couldn't wrap my mind around that one. I don't know too many guys that do a whole lot when getting ready. I had a male friend who didn't even use lotion because he said that it was feminine. LOL
That is interesting, and yes, my dad is a very "manly man"! LOL!
Eyeliner on guys is just...weird. The only guys that should ever wear eyeliner are the ones on stage...no make-up off-stage for me!
In fact, the guy I kind of like at the moment is a lot like my dad, he doesn't look like him, but man, he reminds me of him a lot! I like outdoorsy guys, so...
_____________________________
"I know it sounds crazy, 'cause it's been so long. But you're standing here before me and I can't move on without knowing you're surviving and you'll be okay."-Jonny Diaz-
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 2:43:34 PM
|
|
|
oneGodonename
Posts: 121
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline
|
That is interesting, and yes, my dad is a very "manly man"! LOL!
Eyeliner on guys is just...weird. The only guys that should ever wear eyeliner are the ones on stage...no make-up off-stage for me!
In fact, the guy I kind of like at the moment is a lot like my dad, he doesn't look like him, but man, he reminds me of him a lot! I like outdoorsy guys, so...
[/quote]
I don't understand why men need eye liner. I really don't understand why women wear it. LOL
I just started being heavy into make-up. Started playing in it one day and we became the best of friends, but I don't wear it everyday. Not even every other day. I guess that's a good topic to start...what's the point of eye liner?
My dad isn't out doorsy, but he is a hard hard, almost too hard, worker. I like that. Although I like attention, I like the fact that he's very concerned about making sure that his home and wife (my mom) are taken care of. That's important to me 100%.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 3:29:56 PM
|
|
|
jesuschick247
Posts: 3412
Status: offline
|
quote:
I just started being heavy into make-up. Started playing in it one day and we became the best of friends, but I don't wear it everyday. Not even every other day. I guess that's a good topic to start...what's the point of eye liner?
I LOVE Make-Up! I would love to be a stage make-up artist for the theatre! I don't wear it every day, only when I am going to church or out with friends, I don't normally wear it to my college classes, considering 80% of it is online anyway!
I can actually answer what the point of eyeliner is, done right and not to dark, it opens the eyes and defines them, making them in turn look bigger. Mixed with mascara it helps to create a defined and grown-up look. At least that is what my mom told me, she used to be a hairstylist/make-up artist before she had kids and quit work to stay home with us! ;)
_____________________________
"I know it sounds crazy, 'cause it's been so long. But you're standing here before me and I can't move on without knowing you're surviving and you'll be okay."-Jonny Diaz-
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 5:52:08 PM
|
|
|
moon_mouse
Posts: 435
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: oneGodonename
But there are a couple men in my church who are very feminine and truthfully, that is a complete turn-off for me.
This is kind of off your main question, but effeminate behavior or traditionally masculine behavior are no guarantee of sexual orientation. I've met very "swishy" gay men, and gay men who looked like they just walked out of a Bass Pro Shop. I've met straight guys who were "all guy", and some real milquetoasts who used it to "get close" to women.
But I would be very hesitant about getting involved with a man who admitted to same sex attraction, especially if he had gone through a "reparative" program. I truly believe a gay man can commit to living a celibate life, just as a straight man can, if they are gifted for it by God. But, I'm not convinced that reparative programs have been proven clinically sound, and I've seen some evidence they may do as much harm as good. It's really a mixed record and hasn't been around long enough to prove itself.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 6:14:04 PM
|
|
|
Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 3404
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
|
But we do have a God who heals and who can certainly turn a gay man straight.
_____________________________
Ryanne- trying hard to be my husband's girlfriend and my daughter's mother.
I'll keep my guns, freedom, and money- you can keep "the change."
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 6:18:34 PM
|
|
|
oneGodonename
Posts: 121
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: moon_mouse
quote:
ORIGINAL: oneGodonename
But there are a couple men in my church who are very feminine and truthfully, that is a complete turn-off for me.
This is kind of off your main question, but effeminate behavior or traditionally masculine behavior are no guarantee of sexual orientation. I've met very "swishy" gay men, and gay men who looked like they just walked out of a Bass Pro Shop. I've met straight guys who were "all guy", and some real milquetoasts who used it to "get close" to women.
I know this well. I have had gay friends in the past, none masculine, however in hanging with them, I've seen both sides. Sometimes, it made me sad, but that's not important.
But I would be very hesitant about getting involved with a man who admitted to same sex attraction, especially if he had gone through a "reparative" program. I truly believe a gay man can commit to living a celibate life, just as a straight man can, if they are gifted for it by God. But, I'm not convinced that reparative programs have been proven clinically sound, and I've seen some evidence they may do as much harm as good. It's really a mixed record and hasn't been around long enough to prove itself.
Reparative program????? Had no idea other than what I'd seen MADE FUN OF on television or in movies (i.e. But I'm a Cheerleader) this movie about a straight girl whose parents send her to a camp for homosexual teens whose parents thought that they needed reformation. She had a boyfriend, but I guess was to affectionate toward females so...She ended up getting with a female anyway, which was funny because she may have been "alright" had she not been exposed to other lesbians. I'm sure that they exist, and I've heard of them "in passing", but never did an exhaustive research project on them nor seen anything serious about them, but I've never heard from anyone who partook in one either. Where I live, homosexuality is very prevelant and "out" in the open.
I know God is able to do above and beyond anything that we can ever think or imagine, even change one's sexual desire, but like most, I'm skeptical whether he be masculine or effiminate.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 6:19:32 PM
|
|
|
Petsmarty
Posts: 199
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline
|
I won't say that I won't... I hope to marry Paul, and as far as I can tell re: actions he is ALL MAN!!! But can you really know??? I just know that I love him and I love him unconditionally...
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 7:50:52 PM
|
|
|
rgod
Posts: 1927
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
|
Probably not. But not because of what he did in the past. It would probably be more because I'd be concerned that he wouldn't be attracted to me. Maybe he'd deep in his heart rather be with a man if he could and maybe he isn't naturally attracted to women. He might have to "cook up" the attraction. I think some women can handle that - and I know of a marriage like that. The guy has such integrity - I don't think that even if he struggled with gay thoughts that he'd act on it. But, for me personally, I couldn't handle that type of ongoing rejection of who I am as a woman.
_____________________________
We are His portion and He is our prize, drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes! If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking ...
- Kim Walker "How He Loves Us"
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 7:53:33 PM
|
|
|
OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2624
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: out of the everywhere into here
Status: offline
|
If he had just struggled with SSA, but not acted on it, and was over it, I might consider that person.
If he had actually had physical relationships with (an)other man/men, no, I don't think I could do it. It would be too hard, and also a health risk.
_____________________________
Wizard's rule #1 .People can be stupid and willfully deceived (that's from the book, not the show)..slightly edited for CW
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 8:51:04 PM
|
|
|
BeeLuvsAva
Posts: 2149
Joined: 10/23/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
If he had just struggled with SSA, but not acted on it, and was over it, I might consider that person.
If he had actually had physical relationships with (an)other man/men, no, I don't think I could do it. It would be too hard, and also a health risk.
I completely agree, I would not either.
I am not even sure if he didn't act on it that I would still marry/date him. For me it's just somthing that I would always have a hard time getting over, I think I would always worry about his choices.
_____________________________
You might as well try to hear without ears or breathe without lungs, as to try to live a Christian life without the Spirit of God in your heart.
--D.L. Moody
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/6/2009 11:27:19 PM
|
|
|
NotDoneYet
Posts: 209
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline
|
I am married to a man who has SSA. It is DIFFICULT to the point where for all practical intents and purposes, our marriage is OVER. I cannot compete, will not compete. Yes, he has acted on it, in many ways...and no, I would not EVER do it again...
10 years of my life...down the tubes. I love him, but I can't compete with desires I can't fulfill.
Just a word of advice...don't do it.
NDY
_____________________________
Remember, normal is just a setting on the dryer!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/7/2009 11:10:26 PM
|
|
|
DerWeg
Posts: 53
Joined: 11/5/2008
Status: offline
|
Well it depends. Does he have to remain effeminate? I'm not attracted to effeminate men...but if he used to struggle with homosexuality as a past sin, overcame it with God, and accepted his God-given masculinity....then no, I would have no problem dating him. In fact it would probably make me love him even more to know that he'd overcome such a powerful problem.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/7/2009 11:35:10 PM
|
|
|
song
Posts: 258
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Southern Florida
Status: offline
|
Not all gay men are "girly".
I can't really answer the question though because I think it depends on the person and there's more about him then just whether he's "ex-gay" because that isn't the only part of his identity.
I actually don't think it's fair to judge someone entirely by a past sin.
_____________________________
you are beautiful my sweet sweet song...
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Would you date/marry an ex gay man? - 1/8/2009 12:06:00 AM
|
|
|
spitzu
Posts: 521
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline
|
Nope.
_____________________________
<- Ahh, the sound of a real shutter. It's like music!
Blog
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
). But they are *men*, there isn't anything effeminate about them other then they care about their appearance and don't want to look like slobs. That doesn't bother me at all... My BIL and Dad also both do cross stitch, and I know straight men who knit. Would I marry a man who knits? Sure would. We would have a lot to talk about. 
