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Irritating crush - 2/7/2009 1:56:32 PM
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McGrathFan
Posts: 1
Joined: 4/13/2005
Status: offline
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Hey guys,
I've recently become significantly better friends with a lady who I've known as a 'friendly acquaintance' or something like that :) for a few years, but have got to know better recently. It's been very nice to get to know her better and I've realised how much more I like her than before. Indeed, I've become quite attracted to her, and am developing fairly strong romantic feelings for her.
The real problem is that she's recently broken up with her boyfriend, and obviously isn't at all over him or happy that it's ended, or anything. Obviously it's not remotely considerate for me to make a move right now, but I was wondering if any of you have any advice on how to proceed.
I have a variety of urges
-I don't want to develop strong feelings for her if I'm only going to, at a later date, get heartbroken when it's more appropriate
-I do want to get to know her better, even if just as a friend - I don't really have much choice as we've been kind of forced together on the same programme, but in any case I do like her as a person anyway!
-I do want to pursue her... someday
-I don't want to be friends with her simply with ulterior motives - it feels like being too good friends with her is almost deceptive.
Any advice on how far it's really wise to seek to be friends with her now when I think she's off-limits for now and possibly for a while?
McGrathFan
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RE: Irritating crush - 2/7/2009 9:42:54 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7802
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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Remain friendly acquaintance's unless she moves it further. Beware of the rebound. You could find yourself fallen for her and she'll be back to her old boyfriend.
You cannot win by pursuing her at this point. Whether you gain her or not it probably won't turn out right at this point.
After she is over the other guy, then, and only then, can you see if she'd be a good fit for you.
As you said becoming friends would seem dishonest at this point as you have ulterior motives. So try your best to maintain the status quo until she changes it.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Irritating crush - 2/7/2009 11:48:36 PM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1433
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline
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McGfan,
Welcome to the forums.
If you've recently become significantly better friends with her, it doesn't sound like you have any seeking to do regarding a friendship. You've lost me on this one. Maybe you are thinking about praying about things well, listening for God's reply to you through the Holy Spirit, and not being a daily friend with her presently?
quote:
ORIGINAL: McGrathFan
Hey guys,
I've recently become significantly better friends with a lady who I've known as a 'friendly acquaintance' or something like that :) for a few years, but have got to know better recently. It's been very nice to get to know her better and I've realised how much more I like her than before. Indeed, I've become quite attracted to her, and am developing fairly strong romantic feelings for her.
The real problem is that she's recently broken up with her boyfriend, and obviously isn't at all over him or happy that it's ended, or anything. Obviously it's not remotely considerate for me to make a move right now, but I was wondering if any of you have any advice on how to proceed.
I have a variety of urges
-I don't want to develop strong feelings for her if I'm only going to, at a later date, get heartbroken when it's more appropriate
-I do want to get to know her better, even if just as a friend - I don't really have much choice as we've been kind of forced together on the same programme, but in any case I do like her as a person anyway!
-I do want to pursue her... someday
-I don't want to be friends with her simply with ulterior motives - it feels like being too good friends with her is almost deceptive.
Any advice on how far it's really wise to seek to be friends with her now when I think she's off-limits for now and possibly for a while?
McGrathFan
_____________________________
"Now Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, 'Oh that Thou wouldst bless me indeed, and enlarge my border, and that Thy hand might be with me, and that Thou wouldst keep me from harm, that it might not pain me!' And God granted him what he requested."
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