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Seeking Refuge... - 2/26/2009 10:29:07 AM
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Concerto
Posts: 131
Joined: 10/20/2006
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Hi all:
I am 42 years of age going through I suppose what could be described as a mid-life crisis. Although, I think I have heard enough these days, of the word "crisis." For some reason, lately, I have been looking back, on simpler times...my college days. Those days were not full of the stereotypical activities...drinking etc., but, just studying hard and not worrying too much about the future.
But, my first love has been coming back to mind. I wonder what she looks like, how her life turned out--if she got married had kids. I recall those feelings of...love..and joy. I find myself going over those memories alot these days. I am married by the way. But, these days, I am seeking refuge...I know God is supposed to my refuge, but, those old memories keep playing. And then, I began to think about her status before God...I prayed for her, her potential husband and family. My heart was saddened to consider that she would not go to heaven.
Some people turn to drinking, or drugs, or shopping, or other ways to cope with lifes ups and downs. I daydream about what life could be...about finding a job I enjoy, and make money where I can buy a house, and elevate my standard of living and also help others..and about really knowing God better and being filled with His presence. I am not seeking to leave my wife or anything like that. I made a vow before God to stay with her.
I am saddened a great deal these days about the state of the world, about my own life and the way things have turned out. I am not seeking pity or sympathy or cliches or trite hackeyed replies. Just wondering if anyone can relate.
Where do you go to seek refuge? Some people watch movies to escape...or listen to music...Ultimately, I know, what the Bible says...but, things can seem pretty lonely these days...trying to find friendships that are meaningful as opposed to the common pedestrian surfacey type acquantances who only wish to chat about the daily trivialities of life...one can only talk about the weather or sports so much....or how to cook that roast just right...
Anyways...let me know your thoughts...
C
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RE: Seeking Refuge... - 2/26/2009 10:43:38 AM
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paul01824
Posts: 1
Joined: 2/26/2009
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I know how you feel, I felt that way as well especially now that I'm laid-off and can't find work. the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fense, and it is easy to want to go back to the days when you didn't have any worries, bills, kids, wife, etc. but you can't go back, because they thing too have changed and moved on. And if you stop and think about the past, I'm curtain it wasn't alwasy all that wonderful.At least for me it wasn't...many times I was lonely, living from paycheck to paycheck, living in a dark place. So, we remember the good things and times of our past and move on. You can try talking to your wife about your feelings and perhaps getting involved with your chruch or other groups of interest to you might help. But, when things seem lost, turn to God, read his word, he is there for you and he loves you, and I will pray that you find what you seek.
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RE: Seeking Refuge... - 2/27/2009 11:39:36 AM
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Simway
Posts: 174
Joined: 4/12/2005
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We all have our times when we " go back in time " and review relatioships, and all the things that have happed along with way. However, don't dwell on it, it's in the past, good or bad as it may have been. Look to each day, look to God, and Pray for wisdom to handle whatever comes your way. Today you live, and it has it's own puposes and things to do. I know the here and now can at times seem dull and down right boring. However this is where you are in life, accept it , and move ahead. Look for the good in things and in people, help those you can, and be thankful.
Simway
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RE: Seeking Refuge... - 2/27/2009 12:42:56 PM
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Bro_Shane
Posts: 1614
Joined: 8/4/2005
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I know how you feel. Keep praying. I asked God about three years ago to let me come in contact with some of the people I wronged and was a bad influence on. Little by little, He has answered that prayer.
I play guitar. That's my safe place. My refuge is in the Lord, always, but you need something that helps you. Get a hobby, go back to an old one you no longer do, volunteer, something. Whatever you do, seek to glorify God in it.
I'm 38, so I might understand better than you think.
_____________________________
<---- Respect the turtle neck
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RE: Seeking Refuge... - 2/28/2009 9:09:35 AM
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gcsmithjr
Posts: 534
Joined: 11/23/2008
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quote:
I daydream about what life could be...about finding a job I enjoy, and make money where I can buy a house, and elevate my standard of living and also help others..and about really knowing God better and being filled with His presence.
I'm 43, so I can definitely relate, but my question for you is, at 42 years old why is it too late to do these things?
I went through a similar time about 18 months ago and spent the first 6 months "seeking refuge", but I got pretty sick of that after a while and finally decided I had to do something about it. I made a major career change (left a safe job at a big corporation for something much less stable at a small company) it was one of the hardest, scariest and best things I've ever done.
Obviously we can't go back to those simpler times, but you still have a lot of years ahead of you to change the way "things have turned out". Part of the challenge we all face in these situations is using wisdom and discernment to know when something that is tugging at our heart is coming from our brokenness or coming from God, but you might consider the possibility that God is nudging you to head in a different direction.
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RE: Seeking Refuge... - 2/28/2009 5:37:42 PM
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Lahry
Posts: 136
Joined: 11/18/2008
From: Winslow, Arizona
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Brother, I'm not your judge, and there is precious little information to go on. But I'll just give you my "first reaction". It would seem to me that you may have too much time on your hands to think about this. The last verse of Romans 12 says that we are not to be overcome with evil. With what you stated, I sense that you may be battling temptations along with memories. You surely don't want "evil" to overtake you. The second half of the last verse of Romans 12 says to "overcome evil with good".
Saints are supposed to do the work of the ministry. Do you have a ministry? If not, ask God to show you what He desires for you. Then spend some of your spare time doing your ministry and you won't have near the time to be concerned with things that could turn out to be evil and destructive in your life. Amen?
In Him,
Lahry
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RE: Seeking Refuge... - 2/28/2009 11:41:33 PM
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rapturetruth
Posts: 72
Joined: 4/12/2005
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A lot of times my de-stresser is seeking God in prayer and hoping to be blessed and even some closer to Him too..And hoping i can just keep up praying this way because there is much 'aching' boredom in my life i guess because it is in my town for some reason ..And so try to give it to God so He can make something better with it..If i had some extra money i could pay for other places to go and hang out and eat or relax ...and think to clear my mind too. Be also fortified in the scriptures desiring to know more in it ..
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RE: Seeking Refuge... - 3/2/2009 4:56:52 PM
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mrf084
Posts: 247
Joined: 12/14/2007
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I understand your plight. So does God. I think Ecclesiastes was written in just this frame of mind. In Ecclesiastes 3, Solomon comes to a realization about our time on earth and what is our purpose. He sees value in work, honesty, wisdom, and obedience. He concludes the book with this, "Now that all has been heard here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man." This can also be summed up in Mark 12:30-31 where we are instructed to love God and our neighbors. When a man reaches for this true wisdom is when he becomes nostalgic to reconnect with the past and reaffirm that he existed. In reaching for this wisdom we come to certain conclusions about our value to eternity. Mainly that there really wasn't much value, no matter who we are.
We all wish for there to be more meaning. Our understanding should be though that our true purpose is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. With that firmly implanted we are free from our past and can once again look to our future in the correct light, through God's eyes. He says we are important to Him. We are the hands and feet of the Body of Christ. God Bless
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RE: Seeking Refuge... - 3/2/2009 9:03:00 PM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 497
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline
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Hello Concerto
I hate to tell you but you need to rush to God ASAP. Your are haunted by the thought that you've not measured up. So, you look back to the easy days. You also may not have grown beyond your first love. Get over her.
You also need the counsel and company of strong Christian men. It would be there that you might learn that manhood is under attack these days. If Satan can ruin men, he's got the world and the church. But thank God, there is a remnant of men that have run to God. In that vein, you might find a copy of Chuck Colson's book "Born Again." He has written other books that might be good as well.
Know this, as well. God has a plan for your life. Make a prayer closet, go before Him and find what it is.
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No kidding, my de-stresser is working in my yard and garden, fishing, or shooting guns.
