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The Mens retreat - 4/27/2009 9:58:04 PM
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Gloryandgrace
Posts: 839
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When its promoted from the pulpit its spiritual, when its attended its a mix of things.
To some men its a way to get away from the kids, wife, responsibilities of life. to others its a time to spend with Christ and for others its something in between.
Tell me, men women what good are mens retreats? Have you come home changed? Have you come home and had to pick up your bible for the first time in 3 days because it was full of everything else but spiritual things?
Lets here it, from men and ladies. NOW, Im not making this some mens issue. Im looking at this as a ministry of many churches which use a special time for men to retreat and learn what it is to follow Jesus Christ.
Heres a sermon that you men might like. I think it ought to be preached at least once at every mens conference.
Ladies have a listen as well. Oh yea....its not for the squeemish...but thats ok. http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/trial/marriage-and-men
I say we need a revamp of what mens retreats are about.. this in my opinion is a good reason to go to one.
What say you?
I didnt put this in men only because I value the input from the ladies as well. This is again not about "men" issues but about the ministry that is called "mens retreats"
< Message edited by Gloryandgrace -- 4/27/2009 10:13:38 PM >
_____________________________
Isa 42:6 I the LORD have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee, and give thee for a covenant of the people, for a light of the Gentiles.....
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RE: The Mens retreat - 4/27/2009 10:10:39 PM
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Gloryandgrace
Posts: 839
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Mens retreats..you know what I mean the place where the athletic guys get to gether and talk jock talk.
Its the place the outcasts and misfits find comfort in one anothers alienation. Its where some men have a chance to be in a place where they can let their guard down and confess their sins and their weakness and ask for help.
To others its just another place to play cards and waste more time with the boys.
Some have special speakers that are utterly useless. Some speakers are a breath of heavens refreshing.
Some are like the world where its program after program and all time and energy is funneled into activities.
Some you can get scathed for being sinful, in others you are welcomed into a fold of sinful-Christ displacing lukewarms. At others you dress in fatigues and act like warriors...but you cant seem to get past the "what are we warring for" issue. At some you hear famous men talk about their famousness in a way that you can tell they would trade Christ for a few last minutes of fame. They talk up their careers so highly and speak so ignorantly of Christ and his word you know that your listening to a minute-bible reader and hour-football watcher.
All this being said, Does your pastor consider this actual spiritual help? Does the leadership expect the men to grow from this...
what are your experiences? What do you think could help the men in the church to develope godly and fruitful lives as Christian men?
John
_____________________________
Isa 42:6 I the LORD have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee, and give thee for a covenant of the people, for a light of the Gentiles.....
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RE: The Mens retreat - 4/27/2009 11:01:38 PM
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Rick4Him
Posts: 113
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G&G,
You asked, "What do you think could help the men in the church to develop Godly and fruitful lives as Christian men?"
I think our first question should be, are they truly Christain men? If so then John 13 applies,"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
John 13:34-36"
In my opimion I feel many men lack what Jesus said is the mark of a genuine Christian, love for one another. Many men in churches today (fewer now than ever) I feel are there for their wives or for other reasons than love of God and others. My experiences in churches is that only a hand full of men are passionate about the Gospel, but that is just me. Again just my opinion. So my answer would be to present these men with the pure Gospel and to disciple them as instructed by our Lord.
Rick
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RE: The Mens retreat - 4/28/2009 12:52:27 AM
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Gloryandgrace
Posts: 839
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Rick: It seems like we have graduated from the gospel message into a message of something else.
Crosses, death, self denial, suffering, patience, long hours of prayer, continuous worship, scripture study.....thats for the Christian looser who cant get a date and who cant throw a football.
by the way I hope some of you are daring to listen to men and marriage...I dare ya...
Youre telling me that we should have mens retreats that preach the gospel? How on earth can you ever find a man that would attend such a thing?
John
_____________________________
Isa 42:6 I the LORD have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee, and give thee for a covenant of the people, for a light of the Gentiles.....
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RE: The Mens retreat - 4/28/2009 3:04:44 PM
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kernsfamily
Posts: 803
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I've been to a few of our men's retreats....they're ok...
I just have a hard time "fitting in", especially with a bunch of guys (whether it's in a church setting, or even here at the office).....as I am the "type" that is always the "oddball out", and am never REALLY good friends with anyone....sure, I have many "acquaintances" and "casual friendship"...but, nothing really "deep"....
So...going to a men's retreat....all the other guys are there with their "friends", and I am sort of an outcast....
As far as "guest speakers".....no matter how good, or bad, the guest speaker is....they ALWAYS feel the need to "wrap" the "message" around some "sports analogy"....ALWAYS...whether it's Chip Ingram or Alistair Begg (two of the more recent guest speakers at our church's men's retreats)....
as for the "gospel message"? hmmm....the messages have certainly been biblically strong and scripturally sound....(usually relating on how to be a better "Man of God", a better father/husband, etc..etc...)....
while "the gospel message" IS a good one...i don't think that it's a MUST that it's the "focus" of the message.
just asking....has anyone had a guest speaker at a retreat by the name of Neal Jeffrey? If you need a speaker at a retreat...he's awesome, too....
< Message edited by kernsfamily -- 4/28/2009 3:14:54 PM >
_____________________________
Proud dad of 3 great girls....Blessed to have all of them in a "totally awesome" public elementary school!
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RE: The Mens retreat - 4/28/2009 3:44:02 PM
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ironsharpensiron
Posts: 1401
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: Los Angeles
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quote:
I've been to a few of our men's retreats....they're ok...
I just have a hard time "fitting in", especially with a bunch of guys (whether it's in a church setting, or even here at the office).....as I am the "type" that is always the "oddball out", and am never REALLY good friends with anyone....sure, I have many "acquaintances" and "casual friendship"...but, nothing really "deep"....
So...going to a men's retreat....all the other guys are there with their "friends", and I am sort of an outcast....
As far as "guest speakers".....no matter how good, or bad, the guest speaker is....they ALWAYS feel the need to "wrap" the "message" around some "sports analogy"....ALWAYS...whether it's Chip Ingram or Alistair Begg (two of the more recent guest speakers at our church's men's retreats)....
So glad I'm not the only one that feels this way; maybe we should start our own mens retreat!!
Anyway, our church just this month has celebrated it's fourth year anniversary. I have been to the last three out of four men's retreats they have had. Each year the size grows, but each year I come down the mountain feeling the same way; disapointed. I actually wasn't going to go this year, we usually go in Febuary, but was asked to go because of certian issues that were going to be dealt with, and that I was thought of to be a help in this area. So, I did go, and really wish I hadn't.
The speaker was horrible, and as a Christian counselor, felt as if I was at a psychology seminar than a retreat that was supposed to be beneficial for the men of our church. The speaker was a Christian psychologist, who was at the time 'writing a book,' and it seemed we were the guini pig audience to test his theories. It was really bad. And many of the men, some new believers, were disapointed as well ~~ there went $200!!
I'm all for retreats, but the people who put them together really need to figure out what is really the best thing to do at those retreats, especially when it comes to the speakers. Even our pastor was not thrilled at the choice ~~ gee, you'd think he would have had a really big 'heads-up' for something like this.
I have been to retreats that were great, and were done in a way where you didn't want to leave, but after these last three retreats I think I'll skip the next one!!
Oh, and by the way, when the guy who put this retreat together asked me how I was enjoying the speaker, well, I couldn't mislead him and tell him I and others were loving it...as a result I was nixxed from their short list to help the men in the future.
Politics in the mens group, gee, what a surprise... 
Matthew
_____________________________
"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17
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RE: The Mens retreat - 4/28/2009 8:37:53 PM
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GodsMusic
Posts: 713
Joined: 4/3/2006
From: Arkansas
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quote:
ORIGINAL: crankius
Do any men really like men's retreats?
Not me.
But let me add that I do enjoy retreating to the golf course with my son, or to go camping with my family.
For something spiritual though, I'd prefer a good old fashioned revival/campmeeting!
< Message edited by GodsMusic -- 4/29/2009 3:12:09 PM >
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RE: The Mens retreat - 4/29/2009 1:45:39 PM
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ironsharpensiron
Posts: 1401
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: Los Angeles
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quote:
My husband won't go to men's retreats.
He says he's not a retreat person. I've asked him to explain why, and here is what he said:
1. The expectation of conformity.
2. It's like camp, and he's already been through junior high once.
3. He doesn't feel like spending a few days alone with a group of men he wouldn't ordinarily choose to spend time with.
4. They are contrived (we are men and now we will be together and fellowship and we will like it ).
He says this may make him sound like a jerk (really, he's not).
Do any men really like men's retreats?
That pretty much sums it up for me; I particularly like #3 here ~~ so true!! It's awfully shallow and fake, because in the real world how often do you see these guys again or are in their circle of friends..? Not often, and never at all.
Matthew
_____________________________
"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17
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RE: The Mens retreat - 4/29/2009 4:28:34 PM
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phreddy
Posts: 386
Joined: 3/28/2007
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I have been attending my church's men's retreats for three years now. Before that I was not a retreat type of person. After, the first one i attended, I came away challenged and convicted. We don't have any fancy speakers, just local men of faith. The last one was our pastor's father who lives about 7 hours away so he wasn't that local. Our retreat lasts one night only so that we will not be gone from a families too long. We arrive around 6:00 on Friday night and eat dinner. We start a study/speaker session around 7 and end at 9 with a couple of short breaks. The rest of the night is for recreation, basketball, bon fire, talking and even poker(no money involved). We eat breakfast at 8, start our first session at 9 and keep going until 11:30. then we eat lunch,pack up and leave. This past year 11 men from my Sunday school class got together after the Friday session and discussed the speaker. We ended up talking sharing and counseling each other for 2 hours before we realized what time it was. Everyone came away changed in some way. I used to be afraid of this type of sharing, but now I welcome it. I will attend every men's retreat my church has as long as they continue in the same way.
The first year I went, my sunday school had planned to all share a room. I got there at a different time and ended up rooming with two men I did not know. Now, I have two more friends who are 20 years older than me that I did not know before.
Also, I am very intorverted. After spending time with people, i usually nned to recharge. I don't have much enthusiasm when I go soemwhere with people I don't know. I find that God changes me a lot when I get out of my comfort zone.
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RE: The Mens retreat - 4/30/2009 6:30:26 PM
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Gloryandgrace
Posts: 839
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Has no body listened to the link I set at the outset of this thread? Im calling on the men and women who read these posts to have a listen. You wont be ripped off your time, its worth it.
I say this is the kind of sermon a mens retreat needs, this and many like it can do a great deal of good in shaping the lives of godly men.
Come on folks...listen to Mark and hear what he is saying..ladies too
John
_____________________________
Isa 42:6 I the LORD have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee, and give thee for a covenant of the people, for a light of the Gentiles.....
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RE: The Mens retreat - 5/1/2009 11:58:48 AM
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kernsfamily
Posts: 803
Joined: 4/26/2006
From: Dallas (originally Detroit)
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quote:
Has no body listened to the link I set at the outset of this thread?
I went to the site...it seemed as if there were MANY videos/links on that homepage...
which one should we be listening to? or, does it matter?
_____________________________
Proud dad of 3 great girls....Blessed to have all of them in a "totally awesome" public elementary school!
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RE: The Mens retreat - 5/1/2009 2:25:22 PM
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ironsharpensiron
Posts: 1401
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: Los Angeles
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quote:
Has no body listened to the link I set at the outset of this thread?
Yes, I listened to it. I was fine with the teaching, and believe it may be something useful for a mens retreat. It's certainly better than what I have heard the past three years worth of retreats.
A lesson plan based on a message like this could work well with possible workbooks, smaller group time at retreats.
Matthew
_____________________________
"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17
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RE: The Mens retreat - 5/30/2009 11:23:34 PM
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MessageBoardGuy
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i went to a week long men's retreat a few years ago. We were suppose to have bible studies everyday along with a weeks worth of fishing.
We had half hearted studies nobody wanted to do them. Fish all day and play cards or such in the evening. The trip did not turn out to be what it was billed as. The pastor did decide he wasn't going three or four days before we left. I 'm sure he would have kept a more structured study routine. I don't know If I would go again if we did it again. I would have to pray about it.
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