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RE: Please help - 15 year old son has me at my wit's end!
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RE: Please help - 15 year old son has me at my wit's end! - 6/14/2009 8:33:18 PM
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Hey_mom
Posts: 52
Joined: 5/2/2009
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Thank you SO MUCH!!! You have no idea how much that means to me. To have total strangers offer to pray for us is just...well...it is a huge blessing. We have our 2nd meeting with the counselor on Tuesday. The first visit went well, overall, but was just a beginning. Jonathan hugged me afterward, so I think we are on the right track. I'm sure it meant a lot to him that his dad was there, and that it was not seen as "broken Jonathan fix-up time," but as a time that we as a family can heal and find new tools for a new future.
God is so merciful. I am grateful that I am not in control, but that He is.
_____________________________
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
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RE: Please help - 15 year old son has me at my wit's end! - 10/19/2009 11:09:39 PM
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cabernetmerlot
Posts: 1
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
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Curious as to how you are doing now? Sound like my son and our lives in duplicate!!
My son will be 15 in 10 days...same attitude and rebellion. My husband (his father) was raised by a US Marine. We did not raise our boys that way, but he (the husband/father) now expects our son to behave that way. He (father) and our youngest have a great relationship and have MANY interests in common...this (I believe) frustrates our oldest. Anytime (the oldest) gets upset he reminds us that Connor (the youngest) and Dad have so much in common and spend a lot of time together.
My husbands response is that Hunter (oldest) doesn't have the same interests as him. Furthermore, when he tries to play video game with him (son) he always beats him!!!! SOOOOOOOOOO, LOOSE ONE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SON!!!!!! Way too much testosterone flying around here!! I read a couple of responses to your post from parents of girls.....TWO DIFFERENT ANIMALS!!!!! Boys have sooo much going on it is really hard for them to control it, but they have to at some point...behavior tonight crossed the line...not sure what that means, but it needs to be responded to effectively. He clearly believes and has the upper hand at the moment.
Would love to know that you have conquered this now and have some wonderful advise!!
Thanks!!
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RE: Please help - 15 year old son has me at my wit's end! - 10/26/2009 1:41:49 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1652
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Hey_mom
Thank you SO MUCH!!! You have no idea how much that means to me. To have total strangers offer to pray for us is just...well...it is a huge blessing. We have our 2nd meeting with the counselor on Tuesday. The first visit went well, overall, but was just a beginning. Jonathan hugged me afterward, so I think we are on the right track. I'm sure it meant a lot to him that his dad was there, and that it was not seen as "broken Jonathan fix-up time," but as a time that we as a family can heal and find new tools for a new future.
God is so merciful. I am grateful that I am not in control, but that He is.
I think that phrase right there is one of the most important ones you could utter....
because even though your son has problems (and they are HUGE)..the REAL problem here is that your family is dysfunctional (as are MOST families really)....add to that Jonathon's mental health issues...and voile...chaos in the making.
To be honest....you said you knew from before he was born he would be a challenge? how? why?
It is almost like from his conception you were setting him up to be the fall guy for all the ugly....and he has willingly filled that role.
I don't mean to be overly harsh...but my brother was similar to your son...and while 50% of it was his own choice, 50% of it was in reaction to attitudes my mom and dad had about him...
I am glad that you are going to counseling...just don't expect it to be a magic bullet. True change is going to be hard work...for ALL of you...and it may take years of counseling.
There is NO quick fix to this situation....it took years to make it...it cannot and will not be fixed in a month of two of counseling...so please be prepared to stick it out no matter what...because if you pull the "its not working" routine...it send a message to your son that your family is not worth the effort...that HE is not worth the effort.....
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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