Search The Bible   
Featured Sponsors
Crosswalk Forums on Faith Community Network
  Forum Tools
Forums  | Register | Login

Photo Gallery |  Member List |  Search |  Calendars |  FAQ |  TOS |  Disclaimer |  Ticket List | 

RE: Why does weight get the shaft?

 
View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
Users viewing this topic: none
  Printable Version
All Forums >> [Life] >> Marriage >> RE: Why does weight get the shaft?
Jump to post #:
Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/23/2009 7:48:14 PM   
stellaluna


Posts: 4177
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
Every time one of these threads pops up--and it's way too often, in my opinion--I'm ever so glad I married my husband!!!
Post #: 51
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/23/2009 9:15:41 PM   
HisLamb26


Posts: 369
Joined: 4/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stellaluna

Every time one of these threads pops up--and it's way too often, in my opinion--I'm ever so glad I married my husband!!!




^^^^ X 2!!!!




_____________________________

Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.  ~Pat Robertson
Post #: 52
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/23/2009 9:23:29 PM   
PinkCarnations

 

Posts: 10734
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Beth67

A few weeks ago, my Christian husband called me, and I quote, "repulsive".


((((hugs)))) I'm sorry to hear that.

_____________________________

Tact is the knack of winning a point
without making an enemy.

Our Daily Bread, August 11, 2008


Roberta
Post #: 53
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/23/2009 9:29:58 PM   
truthrevealed

 

Posts: 710
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
I find repulsive the person who thinks it's fair to criticize, demean and be non-supportive to their spouse whatever the issue(and I've been that type of fool in the past---not about weight though). My husband has never criticized my weight(I've been 50 lbs heavier) and now that I've re-started my exercise regime, he's a bit disappointed because he doesn't want me to lose more(and I'm a full size 6 ). However, I see a range of justifications for being overweight/unfit here. God bless you that you and I have spouses that love us as we are....but how about what you feel about yourself personally?

I think some men love their wives to the death but they wish inside that their wives were....more fit, a bit more healthy. There's nothing wrong with that!! We're bombarded with images of physical "perfection" all the time. The point is not to imitate what is seen but to be in the best shape for us. Ten years from now, I want to look at my husband and be physically attracted to what I see. He can only do what he can do....but goodness...DO!!!

I personally think we owe it to each other as couples! but what floats your spouses boat might not float the other
Post #: 54
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 12:19:53 AM   
Ross.Lang

 

Posts: 453
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

GOD created women's bodies. The list of menopausal symptoms include the following: fatigue, cravings for sweets and carbs, weight gain. (from womentowomen.com)

Easily lose if she wanted to is your opinion. The real fact is it is hard for women to lose the weight they gained during pregnancy/childbaring years. The onset of pre-menopause which can begin in the mid 30's only makes this harder. A man can cut out their evening bowl of ice cream or soda and lose 10 lbs in a week or two but a woman will struggle with those 10 lbs for 2 months unless she jumps on a fad diet; then the loss will possibly be temporary.

Everything worth doing in life is hard. Your argument targets women who are 36-40+. When men turn... oh, 11 or so, they begin to have to urge to have sex with multiple partners. That's how "God created their bodies (the reality here is that their urges, like some of the urges of menopausal women, are sinful, and not created by God at all), but acting on those urges is not OK.

quote:

Exactly There's a big difference between losing weight and getting piercings/shaving the head. Those things are easily changed whereas losing weight can be extremely difficult or nearly impossible depending on the individual..

And like someone else said, you are ASSUMING that losing the weight would be easy.

What if it's not? Losing weight is very hard, but that's exactly the point. There are so, so many issues where men and women challenge each other to do the really hard thing and pursue excellence in marriages, why is this left by the wayside. I presented the male perspective, for most of the thread because its what I know, but men have this problem too. Why is it that Americans regard things like weight as disposable attributes not connected with the core reality of the person, but things like yelling, which are much more fickle and could be methodically eliminated from someone's personality with 30 days of concentrated effort (I know, I am the son of two generations of yelling/verbally abusive men, and I've never raised my voice to my wife as long as we've been together), are said to be "just who they are"?

Yes, Christian faith is hard, academic success is hard, working for the Lord is hard, intimacy is hard, maintaining a low body weight is hard. That doesn't excuse anybody from not putting in 150% effort in these areas.

-Ross
Post #: 55
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 12:37:14 AM   
HisLamb26


Posts: 369
Joined: 4/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I presented the male perspective, for most of the thread because its what I know, but men have this problem too.
(bold mine)

No-you presented a male perspective. To claim you speak for all men is presumptuous to say the least.

_____________________________

Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.  ~Pat Robertson
Post #: 56
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 4:25:18 AM   
Hislittleone


Posts: 687
Joined: 7/13/2007
From: The South
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisLamb26

quote:

I presented the male perspective, for most of the thread because its what I know, but men have this problem too.
(bold mine)

No-you presented a male perspective. To claim you speak for all men is presumptuous to say the least.


Well said, HisLamb. In fact, we've had 2 great posts from men who've (from what I know) been married a long time and they seemed to disagree with the op. So no, that's not "the" male perspective.

quote:

Ross.Lang: Everything worth doing in life is hard. Your argument targets women who are 36-40+. When men turn... oh, 11 or so, they begin to have to urge to have sex with multiple partners. That's how "God created their bodies (the reality here is that their urges, like some of the urges of menopausal women, are sinful, and not created by God at all), but acting on those urges is not OK.


Comparing a bowl of ice cream to pre-marital sex is extremely far-fetched. Pre-marital sex is sinful. Eating a bowl of ice-cream isn't sinful. It's not nearly as clear cut.

And you're right that just because something's hard doesn't mean we shouldn't do it. That's not what I'm saying. For some people, being slender is nearly impossible because of medical issues or genetics. You just can't expect all people to be the same size (meaning slender). Some people are created to be more heavy. That's just the way it is.

quote:

Ross.Lang: but things like yelling, which are much more fickle and could be methodically eliminated from someone's personality with 30 days of concentrated effort (I know, I am the son of two generations of yelling/verbally abusive men, and I've never raised my voice to my wife as long as we've been together), are said to be "just who they are"?


Who says that?! I wouldn't. In fact, I'd say that someone who regularly loses their temper and yells has a much bigger problem than someone who is overweight. I wouldn't call that a "fickle" problem.

I had a good friend whose husband basically told her he wasn't attracted to her. He refused to sleep with her and finally told her that it was because of the 30 lbs (ish) that she'd gained after having his baby. Well, she finally lost the weight but became addicted to the diet pills she resorted to. He started being intimate with her again and she was happy about that. But she never really felt loved and secure with him.

Don't you think an adult can look in the mirror and figure out for themselves that they are overweight? Don't you think a wife notices when the jeans start getting tighter? She doesn't need her husband to point out the obvious. She's a grown woman so let her deal with it on her own.

I'm curious if you think it'd be ok for a wife to tell her husband she didn't want to have sex with him because he'd gained 20 lbs and was no longer attracted to him? Would that be ok in your opinion?

Any man who's going to tell his wife he's no longer attracted to her because she's gained some weight had better be ready to hear that she's a little disgusted with his gut or receding hair line or the sagging muscles etc. He might be surpised to find out his wife is kindly overlooking a few physical faults of his own and would be happy to share them with him if he's going to open that door.

I honestly don't think it's sinful to gain a little weight with age. It's no more sinful than losing hair or getting wrinkles. But then the way our society is nowadays, some people seem to think aging is almost sinful.

_____________________________

Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Post #: 57
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 5:09:11 AM   
Sideways


Posts: 3232
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
Well, my mom is 53, menopausal, birthed and breastfed 2 children and weighs maybe 120 lbs, so it's obviously possible for some people. For the record she's put in a lot of work to look that good. I think it's fair to say that many men and women appreciate it when their spouse makes a serious attempt to watch their weight through healthy eating and exercise. If you still weigh 200 lbs after that, then that's just the way you are.

Now, my dad has a big pot belly, which is a big red flag, health wise for men. My mom is pretty concerned, so she won't "allow" him to eat past a certain hour, tries to control his sugar intake and insists on daily walks with him. It's a little heavy handed, but it's their marriage, so I leave them to it.

_____________________________

Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
Post #: 58
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 6:57:08 AM   
10SNE1?

 

Posts: 200
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline
Why does weight get the shaft?

Simple, in many Christian circles there is only one acceptable self-indulgence: FOOD!

Drinking, shopping, smoking, sex, gossip..we expect people to control themselves.

I am 47, have had four children and am 5'6. When I married at age 18 I weight around 115. Today I weight around 120. Actually, I am not medically "underweight". According to all the indicators, I am at the low range of a healthy BMI.

Does a woman's ( and a man's) body "shift" with age? Absolutely! Do the hips spread a little with childbirth? Do breasts sag a little more after each baby and nursing period? Sure! Even if I dropped those extra 5 or so pounds...this body is never fitting into the Junior Department again!

Does metabolism slow some with age? Yep.

But, with very rare exceptions, there is simply no reason a healthy adult "automatically" packs on excessive pounds as they age.

Do pregnancy and nursing cause things to spread and droop a little here and there? Yep.

However, there is no medical reason that pregnancy weight should be hanging on years after the birth of the last baby.

Why is it that our husbands are only "visual creatures" when we don't like the clothing choices of other women?
Post #: 59
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 4:08:09 PM   
truthrevealed

 

Posts: 710
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Why does weight get the shaft?

Simple, in many Christian circles there is only one acceptable self-indulgence: FOOD!

Drinking, shopping, smoking, sex, gossip..we expect people to control themselves.

I am 47, have had four children and am 5'6. When I married at age 18 I weight around 115. Today I weight around 120. Actually, I am not medically "underweight". According to all the indicators, I am at the low range of a healthy BMI.

Does a woman's ( and a man's) body "shift" with age? Absolutely! Do the hips spread a little with childbirth? Do breasts sag a little more after each baby and nursing period? Sure! Even if I dropped those extra 5 or so pounds...this body is never fitting into the Junior Department again!

Does metabolism slow some with age? Yep.

But, with very rare exceptions, there is simply no reason a healthy adult "automatically" packs on excessive pounds as they age.

Do pregnancy and nursing cause things to spread and droop a little here and there? Yep.

However, there is no medical reason that pregnancy weight should be hanging on years after the birth of the last baby.

Why is it that our husbands are only "visual creatures" when we don't like the clothing choices of other women?


How utterly refreshing!!!!!! Great post!!!!

ETA: I'm sure to remember that last line when crosswalk awards returns
Post #: 60
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 5:19:43 PM   
Hislittleone


Posts: 687
Joined: 7/13/2007
From: The South
Status: offline
The thing is that it makes a huge difference if a woman is maintaining her weight for herself or because her husband has made her feel that she isn't good enough for him as she is. BIG difference.

Nobody has addressed the issue that an adult doesn't need anyone else to tell them they've gained weight. Nobody needs another person to say, "Hey you've gained some weight and don't look as good as you used to. You need to lose a few lbs".

I'm not saying it's wrong to be a small/slender size. Nor am I saying it's wrong to maintain the same (basic) weight throughout the years. If you can do it, great. Most women just aren't able to maintain the weight they had when they were in their early 20's. Just because there are a few exceptions, that doesn't mean that all the other women out there who can't do it are just lazy or just aren't trying hard enough.

The main issue isn't about whether or not it's wrong to gain weight or how impossible it is to keep weight off etc. It's about why a man can't tell his wife to lose weight so he'll be more attracted to her.

ETA:
quote:

Ross.Lang: you really look bad and there's no excuse for it. Hit the gym!"?


I think the op is wondering why it's ok to approach a wife about other problems like serious character changes (i.e. not being a Christian anymore or becoming less intelligent and boring) but can't tell them to "hit the gym" because they "look really bad".

Simple answer is that anyone who says that ^^ to his wife has a bigger problem with his character than she does with her weight. He needs to check the attitude of his heart before he even thinks about approaching his wife about her weight.

< Message edited by Hislittleone -- 5/24/2009 5:28:43 PM >


_____________________________

Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Post #: 61
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 7:12:20 PM   
stateofgrace


Posts: 1568
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
Giving some more thought to this...

What would it look like to have a selfish focus vs. an other oriented focus regarding this issue?

Is your wife a glutton? If she is not, a number of things could be influencing the weight issue. Please do not underestimate how many people of both genders my have health issues that are influencing the weight problem and making weight loss difficult. For women, PCOS, menopause, thyroid issues are all potentially big factors. Other health problems can create a vicious cycle with weight, energy, etc. - like diabetes, depression, etc.

Do you expect your wife to "take care of herself" but don't give her the gift of time to do that? Often it's the women who are shuttling kids around to activities in the afternoon and evening, even if they also work outside the home. As a husband, do you think it is your "right" to have a certain number of hours a week for leisure activities, but don't grant the same to your wife?

Do you set a good example in this area yourself? Do you choose to eat healthy foods? Do you pressure her to cook things that are full of fat for dinner?

Do you offer to partner with her in this area? To increase both your and her activity by doing fun activities or even taking evening walks that can be "catch up time" as well? How about cooking a healthy dinner for the family yourself?

_____________________________

America Needs Revival. Will you commit to pray for it?
Post #: 62
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 7:35:22 PM   
Ross.Lang

 

Posts: 453
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

Simple, in many Christian circles there is only one acceptable self-indulgence: FOOD!

Right. Some people seem to have forgotten that gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins.
quote:


Nobody has addressed the issue that an adult doesn't need anyone else to tell them they've gained weight. Nobody needs another person to say, "Hey you've gained some weight and don't look as good as you used to. You need to lose a few lbs".

Nobody needs an adult to tell them to clean up, get a better job, take out the trash, walk the dog, cut the grass, or do any other menial task either. I guess I can spam your wisdom to 65% of the threads in this forum.
quote:

doesn't mean that all the other women out there who can't do it are just lazy or just aren't trying hard enough.

No, you "can't" increase your height or IQ. If you're overweight, you won't lose the weight. I guarantee you that any overweight person who ate a single slice of toast and had a glass of water 3 meals a day for 3 weeks would see a huge drop in their weight. Such a drop is not characteristic of something that "can not" happen. I know that its not possible for some people to exercise given their normal schedule. I guess what I'm suggesting is that it might be worth it for the couple to revise their schedule. Also, I think a women is totally in bounds to critique a man for gaining weight unless he's been incapacitated by an injury or something.

-Ross
Post #: 63
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 7:35:29 PM   
Sideways


Posts: 3232
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
quote:

ORIGINAL: stateofgrace
Do you expect your wife to "take care of herself" but don't give her the gift of time to do that? Often it's the women who are shuttling kids around to activities in the afternoon and evening, even if they also work outside the home. As a husband, do you think it is your "right" to have a certain number of hours a week for leisure activities, but don't grant the same to your wife?


That is a fair point. It would certainly be easier for many women to maintain a healthy weight if the men are willing to take the kids for an hour or two (especially if working out means driving to the gym).

Men sometimes feel entitled to time off on weekends and evenings "because they've worked hard all day". Maybe they don't view what their wife is doing as "real work"?

Especially when the kids aren't babies anymore, I like the idea of making exercise a family affair, a walk after dinner, a weekend hike. That's a great suggestion.

_____________________________

Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream.
Post #: 64
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 8:36:59 PM   
ta_mosquito


Posts: 11008
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
Status: offline
quote:

Right. Some people seem to have forgotten that gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins.

All sins are deadly. I'm not sure who came up with seven of them to especially point out, though.

quote:

I guarantee you that any overweight person who ate a single slice of toast and had a glass of water 3 meals a day for 3 weeks would see a huge drop in their weight.

Well, yeah, but they'd be starving themselves, and as soon as they went back to their regular eating habits, their body would overcompensate.

_____________________________

LibriVox: acoustical liberation of books in the public domain
Post #: 65
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 9:03:00 PM   
zoebob


Posts: 8008
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: land of limbo
Status: online
plus they probably wouldn't be able to function while starving themselves for 3 weeks.

_____________________________

L-R: DD1, Ellies DS2, DD2, Ellies DS1
L-R: Ellies DD1, Ellies DD2, DS, Ellies DS3
Post #: 66
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 9:57:08 PM   
linarette

 

Posts: 101
Joined: 5/2/2007
Status: offline
I am single, and I have no marital experience to base my comment on... , but I have been lurking in here since the thread was started...and I have to say something

As mentioned before, many women react defensively to criticism about their weight because it is an area that most of us already struggle with...Even with the best intentions, we cannot guarantee that 5, 10, 15 yrs and x pregnacies down the road, we'll be wearing the same dress size....Some women can achieve that, others simply CAN'T.

On a level, I can understand a husband's desire to have the same woman he married , but he also has to be honest and wonder what has changed thoughout the years....If the couple was physically active, outdoorsy, etc while newlyweds, and 5 years/kids later she can barely squeeze in some gym time, please help her out so she can have some alone time to pamper herself. As a lady said here, a husband may 'push' a wife into losing weight and achieve his goal (weight loss) while grieving his wife's heart in a way he cannot even imagine. She may move from one extreme of the scale to another (overweight to anorexic). I know today's culture promotes thinness to the point that some men might prefer to have 'that' problem (i.e an anorexic wife), but I assure you that it can definitely ruin intimacy in your marriage.

I think this debate will always exist between men and women, no matter how the question is formulated. What do men prefer? Is weight gain a dealbreaker, etc...I am 25, with a 15-yr history of ED, currently towards the end of a christian recovery program. By God's grace, my daily goal is no longer to eat as less food as possible \O/. I am very active physically, and I would like to marry someone with a similar lifestyle. I am into fitness because I enjoy it, and I would love to be able to remain that way after my marriage and later even after pregnancies. But you know what would really crush my spirit? It would be to have my spouse watch every bite I eat, or wonder why I am not getting back fast enough to my post-pregnancy weight. I am almost POSITIVE I would do everything possible to give him the body he wants yet never again believe he truly loves me.
Post #: 67
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/24/2009 11:46:19 PM   
dboe

 

Posts: 130
Joined: 1/19/2009
Status: offline
WHy are guys such biggots? I still say do the friggin housework and maybe she'd have some time. You know, research has proven that even when both husband and wife work, the women STILL DO THE MAJORITY OF THE HOUSEWORK get a clue guys and quit complaining about our bodies, this is why the feminist movement has continued to gain speed. You criticize our bodies and don't help around the house? Who really needs that????
Post #: 68
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 12:08:02 AM   
myka

 

Posts: 991
Status: offline
Why is it that Americans think that everyone must be 'thin' and are so obsessed with weight? Is our 'expectation' being skewed by our viewing of media?

Being overweight is not always a product of gluttony -- sorry, it just isn't.
Post #: 69
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 4:21:44 AM   
his_chosen


Posts: 1279
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
If you are motivated to do something, you will find the time to do it. When the kids were young, I would walk them in the stroller. Most days, we went for two walks a day. Before kids, I did a 2-day 210mile bike tour every spring. Even after having kids, I still did it--even though most of my trainng would be on the bike in teh basement. I wanted it to happen, so I made it happen.

For years dh has complained that he can't workout because the only time to workout is first thing in the morning, but I prevented that because I'm a night owl. He saw that I worked out on the bike in the basement, so we got a second trainer for his bike. In the past 15yrs, he's used it a handful of times. Three years ago, he got a gym membership. While working with a personal trainer he did go several times a week for the first 6mos. Since then, he's stopped going. Over the winter we got a treadmill. Again, he's only used it a handful of times.

Meanwhile, they had a 2-for-1 at the gym so I joined. I'm there to swim 3-4 days a week. I get up early to get the workout in and get home in time to get school started 9:00. Meaning, since I'm up at 5:30, I'm no longer a night owl. If dh really wanted to, he could get up when I do and join me at the gym.

My gripe isn't that he doesn't look the same as he did the day that we got married. It's that he's adopted a very unhealthy lifestyle. We used to go for long walks together. Now, he's sedentary. He's obese. He has heart disease. He has high blood pressure. Both of his parents died in their 60's of heart disease. Shoudln't that be a clue that he needs to do something so he doesn't go down the same road?

I WANT HIM TO CHANGE HIS LIFESTYLE SO WE CAN LIVE A LONG AND HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER! Is that so wrong?!

_____________________________

You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
Post #: 70
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 11:12:47 AM   
Ross.Lang

 

Posts: 453
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

I still say do the friggin housework and maybe she'd have some time.

My father always did the gross majority of the housework, after working 60 hours a week. I'm not as good about it, but I try to do my half as best I can. Anybody who's not doing their share should, and anybody who doesn't want to spend their evenings with their kids should have had themselves sterilized at the outset of their marriage.

quote:

Being overweight is not always a product of gluttony -- sorry, it just isn't.

Sure. After all, that guy just ate one hamburger, right? How is that gluttony? Too bad the burger he ate was a Baconator, which has roughly the same amount of calories that a person is supposed to eat in an entire day. Add a 500 calorie large coke, and it suddenly becomes obvious how this guy, who only eats 3 meals a day with no snacks in between, weighs as much as four adult African males.

The only fair and objective way to measure gluttony is via caloric intake, which makes almost all Americans gluttons. While we need a 90-degree mirror to make sure our feet are clean in the shower, our counterparts everywhere else in the world are wondering how on earth we've managed it. There is an uber-thin media stereotype that pushes women to look like runway models, but behind that is the average weight of men and women globally, which still makes us look zeppelinesque. This is why the average American man and women look capable of eating the men and women in Spain or Germany in a single sitting.

-Ross
Post #: 71
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 11:36:32 AM   
Qtman


Posts: 6345
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
Status: offline
Have you been to Spain or Germany? I have and there are some big people in both countries. After all in Germany they tend to drink beer like water.

_____________________________

Be what you is and not what you ain't. Cause if you ain't what you is, you is what you ain't. - Jeff Easter

<Me & my happyplate at Lobster Hut
Post #: 72
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 11:50:36 AM   
stampinlady


Posts: 2431
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Northern IL
Status: offline
quote:

How utterly refreshing!!!!!! Great post!!!!


10Sen, thank you. I had something similer typed up, tried to post and then lost my connnection the other day.

Dh and I have always been overweight. Both quite smoking and gained wieght. Both are trying to get it off now, but it's so much harder than when you were in you 20's.

I will add that in my post I had typed that you can always go to God had ask him to change your desire back to your spouse.

Oh, something else I thought of, manily pertaining to believers. Think about the "Fruit of the Spirit?" How many of us live like this?

_____________________________

Deb

"It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw !"

Calvin and Hobbes
Post #: 73
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 1:10:06 PM   
herestoresmysoul

 

Posts: 1362
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
Well I am 53, I eat very healthily, walk my dog an hour a day, go to the gym and swimming 3-4 times a week and STILL struggle to even maintain my weight let alone loose any. I am desperately trying to loose one stone (14lbs ) at the moment but even with being even stricter than usual I have only managed to loose 2lbs on a month. When I was in my 20's I could eat more,and was stick thin.
My husbands ex wife eats more than me, exercies less that me, and is so thin that she is apparently verging on looking anoexoric (so I am told)and like a skeleton.Some peopel are just like that.

Things are not always as they seem ,just becuase someone is over weight it doesnt always mean that they eat too much and arent trying to keep fit.
Post #: 74
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 1:15:46 PM   
3cappuccinosmom


Posts: 3442
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Well, my mom is 53, menopausal, birthed and breastfed 2 children and weighs maybe 120 lbs, so it's obviously possible for some people.


Key phrase there.

I saw tubby women and even fat women in poor, rural Africa. Only there, they were admired. In many cultures that's a husband's goal, to be able to provide for his wife so she's not burning more calories than she consumes. Culture plays a *huge* role in this issue.

It is very true that in America in particular, we have a problem with overindulgence and unhealthy eating. But that should be the focus, not a number or a body shape.

All I know is, that I have always been the "fat kid". I was fat when my family was in a cult and we kids were required to be *highly* active, no sitting out. Wheeze when you jog? Too bad. Guess it'll just take you an hour longer to run your laps. Sprained your ankle? Too bad, the backpacking trip is still on, and you're still coming. I stayed fat then (5 whole years!), and though I lost 30 lb in Africa because I couldn't keep anything down and had stomach parasites for 3 full months, I stopped losing at 169 and never went lower. Which still put me on the "obese" list by American charts. One good result of that experience was that it convinced me once and for all that anorexia and bulimia were going to be of absolutely no benefit to me. Starving unintentionally didn't help, why bother suffer like that on purpose?
My sister is *skinny* and while she's beautiful, I don't envy her anymore. Her severe weight loss is due to severe intestional problems. I think she'd trade good health for skinny any day.

There is no justification for overindulgence when it comes to food. But it is a mistake to assume that all fat people are overindulgers, and all skinny people eat healthy and exercise.

_____________________________

Moo

The Ballad of Bad Biruk
Post #: 75
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Life] >> Marriage >> RE: Why does weight get the shaft?
Jump to post #:
Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts


Crosswalk Forums on Faith Community Network
  Forum Tools
Forums  | Register | Login

Photo Gallery |  Member List |  Search |  Calendars |  FAQ |  TOS |  Disclaimer |  Ticket List | 

Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI