|
|
|
|
|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 1:50:29 PM
|
|
|
stateofgrace
Posts: 1583
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Ross.Lang
quote:
I still say do the friggin housework and maybe she'd have some time.
My father always did the gross majority of the housework, after working 60 hours a week. I'm not as good about it, but I try to do my half as best I can. Anybody who's not doing their share should, and anybody who doesn't want to spend their evenings with their kids should have had themselves sterilized at the outset of their marriage.
Well, it's wonderful that you consider it "your half" and give it your best effort. Many man do not.
Also, many men carve out hours and hours of leisure time each week that are for themselves, not for the family. When we were young, my husband was playing softball two-three times a week and at one point joined a bowling league too. This continued after our oldest was born. After our second child, he thankfully slowed down on all the outside activity. He was and is a great dad to our kids, it was just ingrained in him (via his parents) that the husband/dad had a right to this time.
I remember another couple in a similar situation of which my husband said that the wife accepted things with "more grace" than I did. Years later, the wife told me that they had so many arguments over all her husband's leisure activities. it was only the appearance of the situation that she had "more grace" about it because when she attended the games she was highly social and would chat with the other wives. Appearances were deceiving.
quote:
quote:
Being overweight is not always a product of gluttony -- sorry, it just isn't.
Sure. After all, that guy just ate one hamburger, right? How is that gluttony? Too bad the burger he ate was a Baconator, which has roughly the same amount of calories that a person is supposed to eat in an entire day. Add a 500 calorie large coke, and it suddenly becomes obvious how this guy, who only eats 3 meals a day with no snacks in between, weighs as much as four adult African males.
The key phrase in the original quote was "not always."
Many overweight people avoid fast food because they know its unhealthy and full of fat. If I go to Burger King, I get a Whopper Junior, no cheese and no mayo. No fries, and a diet drink or water. My hubby does have a weakness for the Bacon Cheeseburgers with the works.
I did a list for my hubby (who is now an OTR trucker) of all fast food places and what you could get at each that was low fat, low cholesterol, low calorie, low sodium, etc. The results were surprising, because Arby's, which many people would guess is low in fat, has tons of sodium in their meats and their meats aren't necessarily low in fat. And there is NOTHING at Hardee's that is low in fat and low in cholesterol. However - some fast food places like MacDonalds and Burger King are at least trying to add some healthy foods to their menus. Whether or not people are buying them is another question.
_____________________________
America Needs Revival. Will you commit to pray for it?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 1:59:20 PM
|
|
|
ta_mosquito
Posts: 10998
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
Status: offline
|
quote:
The only fair and objective way to measure gluttony is via caloric intake, which makes almost all Americans gluttons. While we need a 90-degree mirror to make sure our feet are clean in the shower, our counterparts everywhere else in the world are wondering how on earth we've managed it.
OK, this got me curious. So I did a search on "Fattest Countries" and came up with THIS. Based on the percentage of citizens 15 and over who have a BMI 25 or higher, in 2007, US was 9th. Several South Pacific nations were higher (interesting!). According to THIS ARTICLE, in 2008 Australia surpassed the USA for percentage of obese adults.
_____________________________
LibriVox: acoustical liberation of books in the public domain
(Avatar: Turkeys are all saying "Moo")
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 2:00:53 PM
|
|
|
crankius
Posts: 3760
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
I guarantee you that any overweight person who ate a single slice of toast and had a glass of water 3 meals a day for 3 weeks would see a huge drop in their weight.
I'm not a dr., but yikes--this would completely mess up a woman's metabolism.
I'm not sure if this has been mentioned, but genetics play a role in body size. Some people can run and work out and eat moderately, and yet still be larger boned and carry a larger mass.
I'm not sure about your situation, Ross.Lang, but if a fella met his wife when she was 19-23 or thereabouts, and she was not yet her "womanly" self, it would be silly for him to expect that she was going to stay in her pre-womanly shape forever. When a woman matures and has children and hits hormonal and chemistry changes, her shape will no longer be as it was when she was 19-23 (and even thin women will tell you this is true).
I DO think it is acceptable for us to expect that our spouse will care about their health and their appearance and put the time and effort into those things (and this actually lines up with loving your neighbor as yourself), If one spouse is gaining a bit of weight, the couple together may take certain steps to address it (eating habits, exercise plans, dr. visit to rule out other conditions, etc.). But pressure to look the way you looked on your wedding day, for many/most people, would be unrealistic.
As to why weight "gets the shaft", I think it is because weight is a fairly shallow element to who and what a person is and Scripture speaks to gluttony but not weight.
We are given a great picture of a Godly woman in Proverbs 31--she is industrious and has many excellent qualities, but her weight is not mentioned. In fact, Proverbs is clear in speaking to men--they should note that outer beauty is passing, but a woman's fear of the Lord is to be praised.
So Ross.Lang, I think men should ask themselves if they married an image of their wife, expecting that she would match that image for her entire lifetime, or if they married the true person in their wife and are truly overwhelmed with love for who she is.
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
Church Covenants
wepanicinapew 
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 2:25:29 PM
|
|
|
PinkCarnations
Posts: 10810
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Harvie
quote:
ORIGINAL: Ross.Lang
I guarantee you that any overweight person who ate a single slice of toast and had a glass of water 3 meals a day for 3 weeks would see a huge drop in their weight.
Wow .... a theologian who advocates a fad-like starvation diet as a way to bolster christian marriages?
Well said Harvie!
Tricia- thanks for the links.
I am tired of men who think their wives should look like a super model, but ignore their own looks. You think we want to see all that grey --- on their flabby backs? We don't nitpick because the only thing that gets thinner on them is their hairline. Maybe they should go on Ross's bread and water diet...... and grab a bottle of Rogaine while they're at it. 
Honestly, men and women change physically. There is a lot that goes into gaining and/or losing weight. It's not nearly as easy as it seems.
_____________________________
Thank you Veterans.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 3:16:10 PM
|
|
|
myka
Posts: 978
Status: offline
|
quote:
Sure. After all, that guy just ate one hamburger, right? How is that gluttony? Too bad the burger he ate was a Baconator, which has roughly the same amount of calories that a person is supposed to eat in an entire day. Add a 500 calorie large coke, and it suddenly becomes obvious how this guy, who only eats 3 meals a day with no snacks in between, weighs as much as four adult African males.
What I'm saying is that there are people who are overweight who are eating 'lower calorie' diets. They aren't all eating huge meals.
quote:
The only fair and objective way to measure gluttony is via caloric intake, which makes almost all Americans gluttons.
What is this fair and objective measure of gluttony? What is the caloric intake that is 'healthy' vs. the amount that is 'gluttony'?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 3:27:03 PM
|
|
|
Corne
Posts: 1481
Status: offline
|
Not to be weird or anything, but what does the Bible say constitutes "gluttony", and what does the bible say about the importance of exercise?
BTW, we modern people have socialized the concept of our bodies as a temple. This refers to being pure sexually in the Bible. Period. It's spiritual. We don't defile our temples with ingestion.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 3:39:36 PM
|
|
|
OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2626
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: out of the everywhere into here
Status: offline
|
quote:
what does the Bible say constitutes "gluttony"
After I've gotten some other things done, I'll go look up some verses.
_____________________________
Wizard's rule #1 .People can be stupid and willfully deceived (that's from the book, not the show)..slightly edited for CW
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 3:41:21 PM
|
|
|
his_chosen
Posts: 1303
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
Corne--not sure what you mean that it's a modern concept that the body is a temple, and that it's sexual. Isn't hte body the temple of the Holy Spirit? And as such, shouldn't we take care of it?
_____________________________
You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 3:43:21 PM
|
|
|
Corne
Posts: 1481
Status: offline
|
The temple is to be kept pure from sexual sin. Sexual sin defiles the temple of the Holy Spirit. Food and drink do not.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 3:59:27 PM
|
|
|
truthrevealed
Posts: 721
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
|
I'm beginning to believe that some women are dealing with pressure concerning their weight that I'm unaware of  . As women I think we all deal with a measure of self-consciouness concerning our bodies/weight but there is no excuse for a spouse who is non-supportive and demanding.
By the same token, is there an**** excuse**** not to be in the shape that we secretly desire and need to be health wise?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 4:28:44 PM
|
|
|
truthrevealed
Posts: 721
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
|
.....And then it occured to me that some people will even use their spouse as an excuse. Some might inwardly rebel against a non-supportive spouse and decide not to exercise and look their best in accordance with a "accept me as I am/take it or leave it" attitude. The truth in many of these instances is fear---not the attitude of the spouse.
For those who are "of age" slow metabolism, young children, no time etc. etc. etc.(and need to lose or exercise) What have you told yourself, to settle for where you are because of the obstacles?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 4:36:33 PM
|
|
|
Hislittleone
Posts: 681
Joined: 7/13/2007
From: The South
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: truthrevealed
I'm beginning to believe that some women are dealing with pressure concerning their weight that I'm unaware of . As women I think we all deal with a measure of self-consciouness concerning our bodies/weight but there is no excuse for a spouse who is non-supportive and demanding.
By the same token, is there an**** excuse**** not to be in the shape that we secretly desire and need to be health wise?
Some people who are overweight may "desire and need" to be a different size but aren't able to get or maintain that size because of health complications, medications that cause weight gain, genetics etc. What about those "excuses" ?
I was always a petite size....short and slender. I gained weight with my first child and lost it with no effort. I then gained weight from taking birth control but lost it with relative ease (adjusted diet slightly and exercised). Several years later I gained it back but lost it with relative ease (again with sligtly adjusted diet and exercise). In fact, I was at the same weight as when I was in high school. I kept it off for years.
Now I'm in my early 30's and have had a second child. 2.5 years later and I'm still trying to lose the last 20 lbs. to get to my healthy, pre-pregnancy weight. I've been exercising faithfully and eating healthy but the darn weight isn't coming off.
My point is this: I've learned that I used to be prideful and a bit arrogant in my attitude towards heavy people. I thought that if they just worked hard enough and didn't eat so much (or so much junk) that they could lose the weight. After all that's what I'd done so why couldn't they? But now I'm getting to experience what it's like to be overweight and have a hard time losing it. Now I see that my attitude was wrong. There are so many factors that influence weight. Just because someone is overweight it doesn't mean they aren't eating healthy and exercising. Overweight doesn't =lazy nor does it =glutton.
My husband is closer to his healthy weight range (or may be right at it) than me but he's more of a glutton than I am. He eats so much junk on a daily basis and never exercises. I do the opposite but am the one who "looks" less healthy because I'm a little overweight.
Anyone who has the attitude that someone who's overweight is automatically a glutton is just wrong.
_____________________________
Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 4:55:55 PM
|
|
|
truthrevealed
Posts: 721
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
|
Hislittleone, I don't know if your entire post was in response to what you quoted from me or not but I'm not one who believes that people who are overweight are neccesarily gluttons nor do I particularly care about the whole "gluttony debate." I'm much more concerned about what people can do to make their lives better, recognizing truth about themselves etc. ('cause that what's important concerning myself  ). Yes, I've read pages of what I consider to be excuses but because I could be misunderstanding, I asked the question, "what do you tell yourself due to the obstacles you face concerning weight?"
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 5:02:24 PM
|
|
|
Corne
Posts: 1481
Status: offline
|
As you can see, many people consistently tackle obstacles with little VISIBLE results. And many people completely ignore good health principles and look good. It's a complex issue for many.
It's an issue many people try to over spiritualize IMO.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 5:08:20 PM
|
|
|
Hislittleone
Posts: 681
Joined: 7/13/2007
From: The South
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: truthrevealed
Hislittleone, I don't know if your entire post was in response to what you quoted from me or not but I'm not one who believes that people who are overweight are neccesarily gluttons nor do I particularly care about the whole "gluttony debate." I'm much more concerned about what people can do to make their lives better, recognizing truth about themselves etc. ('cause that what's important concerning myself ). Yes, I've read pages of what I consider to be excuses but because I could be misunderstanding, I asked the question, "what do you tell yourself due to the obstacles you face concerning weight?"
No, I wasn't directing my entire post at you. The first paragraph was in response to the part of your post that I quoted.
_____________________________
Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 5:10:48 PM
|
|
|
truthrevealed
Posts: 721
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
|
There are those who want to do better and have unknowingly prevented themselves due to their own internal dialouge and false beliefs. It's healthy and neccesary for these persons, IMO to take these things in consideration as it can affect things far beyond weight
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 5:12:04 PM
|
|
|
truthrevealed
Posts: 721
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
|
Hislittle one, thanks for clarifying
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 5:25:55 PM
|
|
|
Hislittleone
Posts: 681
Joined: 7/13/2007
From: The South
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: truthrevealed
There are those who want to do better and have unknowingly prevented themselves due to their own internal dialouge and false beliefs. It's healthy and neccesary for these persons, IMO to take these things in consideration as it can affect things far beyond weight
Your welcome.
Are you talking about women who might tell themselves they don't have the time because of x, y and z or say they couldn't afford it (thinking they'd need to join a gym) etc.? Or women who say they can't eat healthy because their husband and children won't? Is that what you are referring to?
It's true there are people who make excuses not to exercise or eat healthy but that's true of fat and skinny people. And in most (not all) cases, if you want it badly enough you can find a way to eat healthy and get in some exercise.
But the op seems to be more concerned with the outward appearance so if a skinny person were to live like that it would be ok but if a fat person did then it means they need to get of their bums and exercise and lose weight. That's what bothers me. The op wasn't worried about the health factor of weight.
I think everyone, both fat and skinny, needs to exercise and eat a healthy diet. JMHO.
_____________________________
Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 5:40:56 PM
|
|
|
truthrevealed
Posts: 721
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
Your welcome.
Are you talking about women who might tell themselves they don't have the time because of x, y and z or say they couldn't afford it (thinking they'd need to join a gym) etc.? Or women who say they can't eat healthy because their husband and children won't? Is that what you are referring to?
It's true there are people who make excuses not to exercise or eat healthy but that's true of fat and skinny people. And in most (not all) cases, if you want it badly enough you can find a way to eat healthy and get in some exercise.
But the op seems to be more concerned with the outward appearance so if a skinny person were to live like that it would be ok but if a fat person did then it means they need to get of their bums and exercise and lose weight. That's what bothers me. The op wasn't worried about the health factor of weight.
I think everyone, both fat and skinny, needs to exercise and eat a healthy diet. JMHO.
We are the only ones who know for sure if our justifications for doing or not doing something is reasonable or simply excuses (regardless of what others think---and sometimes it does take reflecting and facing truth that we may not want to face). But yeah, I think it's part of human tendency to talk ourselves out of things(fear is many times the culprit--even fear of "success" if you understand what I mean). And I agree it doesn't matter who you are, what size etc.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 10:31:15 PM
|
|
|
solo_soprano23
Posts: 2082
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Hislittleone
quote:
ORIGINAL: truthrevealed
I'm beginning to believe that some women are dealing with pressure concerning their weight that I'm unaware of . As women I think we all deal with a measure of self-consciouness concerning our bodies/weight but there is no excuse for a spouse who is non-supportive and demanding.
By the same token, is there an**** excuse**** not to be in the shape that we secretly desire and need to be health wise?
Some people who are overweight may "desire and need" to be a different size but aren't able to get or maintain that size because of health complications, medications that cause weight gain, genetics etc. What about those "excuses" ?
I was always a petite size....short and slender. I gained weight with my first child and lost it with no effort. I then gained weight from taking birth control but lost it with relative ease (adjusted diet slightly and exercised). Several years later I gained it back but lost it with relative ease (again with sligtly adjusted diet and exercise). In fact, I was at the same weight as when I was in high school. I kept it off for years.
Now I'm in my early 30's and have had a second child. 2.5 years later and I'm still trying to lose the last 20 lbs. to get to my healthy, pre-pregnancy weight. I've been exercising faithfully and eating healthy but the darn weight isn't coming off.
My point is this: I've learned that I used to be prideful and a bit arrogant in my attitude towards heavy people. I thought that if they just worked hard enough and didn't eat so much (or so much junk) that they could lose the weight. After all that's what I'd done so why couldn't they? But now I'm getting to experience what it's like to be overweight and have a hard time losing it. Now I see that my attitude was wrong. There are so many factors that influence weight. Just because someone is overweight it doesn't mean they aren't eating healthy and exercising. Overweight doesn't =lazy nor does it =glutton.
My husband is closer to his healthy weight range (or may be right at it) than me but he's more of a glutton than I am. He eats so much junk on a daily basis and never exercises. I do the opposite but am the one who "looks" less healthy because I'm a little overweight.
Anyone who has the attitude that someone who's overweight is automatically a glutton is just wrong.
I think everyone needs to remember that bodies change and there are biological factors at work in some people that others may not have a problem with.
The fittest woman I know by far exercises everyday, sometimes multiple times. She's a vegetarian, and not one who eats junk while cutting out meat. She stays away from as much sugar and flour as possible and eats mostly veggies and grilled foods. She is one to ask why that person over there is fat, etc. I remember a few months ago she was having problems with her hormones, but she didn't know it. She just knew she was gaining weight and nothing she did would stop it from coming or get it off; I dare say she was killing herself trying to exercise that weight off...when she was already exercising twice a day sometimes. Before that incident, she would have told you anyone can overcome a biological problem if they just work hard enough... It wasn't until after she went through all that that she realized that stuff isn't always how it seems. It probably would have been worse had she not been doing all that she was, but sometimes you can do all you can and not be able to have complete control over how your body changes (or just is).
But, Hislittleone, my sister had her last child a few years ago. She exercises and is fit, but after that, she never was able to lose weight on certain parts of her body. Her belly especially... she still looks like my nephew just popped out. I see how hard she works, but we're not all alike. She just can't seem to get rid of it, and she really is trying. She's now seeking surgical options. 
_____________________________
For God, For Learning, Forever.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/25/2009 10:59:45 PM
|
|
|
Hislittleone
Posts: 681
Joined: 7/13/2007
From: The South
Status: offline
|
quote:
But, Hislittleone, my sister had her last child a few years ago. She exercises and is fit, but after that, she never was able to lose weight on certain parts of her body. Her belly especially... she still looks like my nephew just popped out. I see how hard she works, but we're not all alike. She just can't seem to get rid of it, and she really is trying. She's now seeking surgical options.
I can certainly feel her pain.... It's really discouraging to work so hard and get little to no results.
quote:
sometimes you can do all you can and not be able to have complete control over how your body changes (or just is).
And that ^^ sums up very succinctly what I've been trying to say. 
_____________________________
Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/26/2009 12:46:45 AM
|
|
|
Ross.Lang
Posts: 463
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline
|
quote:
Wow .... a theologian who advocates a fad-like starvation diet as a way to bolster christian marriages?
If you had bothered to read the next six words of my post, you would have seen that I was countering the assumption that a person "just CAN'T lose weight." Hogwash. I don't care if your weight has been the same for 30 years. Fast for a week, and you will lose weight, no matter what your diet or metabolism is. Based on this information, it is absolutely ridiculous to say that a person "can't" lose weight, just like its ridiculous to say that a child of normal intelligence just "can't" do well in school. The contraction you're searching for is "won't." There are healthy ways to lose weight no matter what's going on with your life (no need to resort to extremes like bread and water, nor should you), and if you don't, its because you won't, not because you can't.
quote:
We don't nitpick because the only thing that gets thinner on them is their hairline.
I would have hoped that by this point in human history, the difference between genetically linked appearance problems and those which are related to lifestyle choices would be clear to everyone. My younger brother goes to the gym 10 hours a week and runs 4 miles a day, and has less than 8% body fat, yet his hair is thinning. That's because he's genetically predisposed to male-pattern baldness. Picking on someone's thinning hair is like making fun of someone with Downs Syndrome or psoriasis. Yeah, it's unattractive, and it should make people who are balding more thankful for the women in their lives who overlook it, but there is literally nothing they can do to stop it, and even expending thousands of dollars on treatments does almost nothing. Not so with weight, which can both be eliminated with behavior modification and surgery, neither of which is true with hair loss, unless you count plugs, which look awful.
quote:
The op wasn't worried about the health factor of weight.
Because that's what everyone is always concerned with, and although its important, its much easier to understand than the bizarre divorce between "who someone is" and "how someone looks" as though the latter were not obviously a strong subset of the former.
-Ross
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why does weight get the shaft? - 5/26/2009 2:36:41 AM
|
|
|
his_chosen
Posts: 1303
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
Baldness has nothing to do with lifestyle.
Dh has four brothers. Because their parents died of heart disease, they are more likely to have heart disease. His brothers are choosing a healthier lifestyle. They have kept their weight under control. Two did become overweight for a time, then through diet and exercise lost the weight. Three also have high cholesterol, which is controlled through medication. My ds is choosing to do nothing. He already has heart disease, high cholesterol and high blood pressure.
I'm not wanting dh to look like he did the day we got married. I certainly don't! What I do want is for him to choose a healthier life style.
_____________________________
You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
MARRIED TO A MILITARY PILOT ~ PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR TROOPS! 
