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Passive-Agressive Boss - 5/31/2009 12:53:26 AM
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trinigirl722
Posts: 578
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Dallas, TX
Status: offline
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Seven months ago I was reassigned to a new supervisor, and I don't think I've ever worked with someone who communicates so poorly. I asked not to be put on her team because of previous conflict, but our director told me to give her a chance. I'm trying to get along as best I can, but it's really difficult. One reason I was reluctant to be on her team is that I had heard through the grapevine that she had misunderstood something I said and complained about me to management.
I've come to believe that she is uncomfortable with face-to-face conversations (at least with me), and most of our commuication is via e-mail even though she works just three doors down from me. Days can go by without my ever hearing from her. Recently there were a couple of situations where I think I didn't handle things like she wanted. I haven't heard anything from her at all about those situations, but I've noticed she has started speaking to me in a stern, irritated tone, and glaring at me and snubbing me in meetings. I left a meeting the other day almost in tears because of the obvious put-downs.
I realize I need to ask her what's wrong to clear the air, and I plan to try to do that next week, but it's just so frustrating, and I have a feeling the cycle will continue. She acts like she is above me because she is management and I'm not, so I'll have to tread very lightly when I ask what's wrong. It's gotten so that I'm scared to go to work and have difficulty sleeping because I'm so uptight over it. I almost suspect that she has an agenda to get me fired, but I hope this is my own paranoia. In today's economy, that's a scary thought.
Has anyone else had experience with a supervisor who acts in passive-agressive ways like this, and how did you deal with it?
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RE: Passive-Agressive Boss - 5/31/2009 11:40:40 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16732
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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I have had this experience a couple of times now: both with my existing boss and a previous one. It is a no win situation and I do not know what kind advice to give except try your best to be on your best behavior and not let it bother you.
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RE: Passive-Agressive Boss - 5/31/2009 4:38:52 PM
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trinigirl722
Posts: 578
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Dallas, TX
Status: offline
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Thanks, Humble! It helps to know that other people have experienced the same thing.
I'm praying that our talk will go well, and I know God will come through.
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RE: Passive-Agressive Boss - 5/31/2009 4:39:46 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16732
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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Talking should help the air, providing that he or she is willing to talk with you.
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RE: Passive-Agressive Boss - 6/5/2009 10:15:37 PM
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trinigirl722
Posts: 578
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Dallas, TX
Status: offline
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I haven't talked with her yet, but I've spoken with several people about the issue, and I plan to ask her for a status meeting and in a friendly way say, "I need complete, clear information from you to do my job." And then discuss some incidents that have occurred because of lack of communication.
I realize I need to carefully evaluate and question what she says, because I keep making mistakes based on sketchy information from her. And then I end up looking inept.
I've also realized confidence helps a great deal, I think. I've started acting more confidently, and she's started being nicer to me.
I don't know if any of this applies to your situation, Mike.
As I said in an earlier post, I've felt so anxious that it's affected my sleep patterns. I've really been praying for God to help me, and He finally gave me some tried and true tools -- scripture memory and praise music! When I listen to praise music or try to memorize scripture, the anxious thoughts go away.
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