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Struggling with the church's response to Domestic Violence
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Struggling with the church's response to Domestic Violence - 6/10/2009 10:44:27 AM
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supernova1976
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I recently heard of a testimony from a friend who was literally kicked out of her church for talking to others about the abuse going on in her home both to her and to her children. Instead of being supported by the church she was claimed to have sinned by gossiping and made her husband not look very good and told she had sinned in gossiping. I have heard the arguments on both sides as to what constitutes divorce. I get that. What I don't get is the response in how the church deals with domestic violence as it is happening. As they are coming forward to the church. I am a Domestic Violence Counselor and I go out on calls with the LAPD, these women are terrified for their lives, yet the first thing clergy states and goes to is not anything in the name of safety, but they go right to "no divorce, sumbit, pray more, your man rules over you" mentality. I am sick of it. I have been sick to my stomach by the latest story I heard. This woman not only had to have surgery from the abuse, she lost her church. Her church literally told her she was no longer welcome there anymore. Friends she had for years, just "gone" all because she spoke out. Why? because she shouldn't be gossiping. That is a sin. This makes me so angry. I am going to be starting a ministry for domestic violence with the help of other women because this needs to stop. Would Jesus Christ respond this way? would he say to a woman getting beaten "well, the only time divorce is allowed is if their is adultery?" First of all, it says "marital unfaithfullness" how is beating your wife and children "faithful?" How? someone PLEASE TELL ME HOW? God is a LOVING GOD. Just as powerful as those versus and commands are so are the two greatest one's which are to LOVE GOD, and LOVE OTHERS. I don't understand what has happened with that. This attitude that is developing in the church makes me sick, literally sick to my stomach. The sad thing I see in church, is there are so many Christians who are trying to follow the letter of the law, they have missed the entire point of what it truly means to LOVE in this world. I am sick of it.
Here is my take- God hates divorce- yes, he sure does. He also hates a soul that loves violence, a man that harms children, Jesus LOVES the little children, GOD hates the shedding of innocent blood. What about that side? I really need some prayer because I am so angry. God is also full of mercy. Even if she does leave, God is a loving and forgiving God that I believe does not want to see his children hurting.
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 10:53:55 AM
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rcjames
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Seems as though you are painting with a really wide brush.
I do ot know the circumstances of the situation that you refer to, but if it is as you understand it to be; then that Church is definately in error.
Now whether the woman was gossiping or not; I have no idea, so I cannot fault the Church for correcting someone they think is in sin.
As for domestic violence, we have had very little of it in our Church, but the Church dealt with it properly in my opinion; if someone broke the law, they were turned in to the law. if the situations was not to the law breaking point; then separation and counselling was offered to both; and the children.
I also ride with the Sheriff's department to domestic violence calle in my part of the county to try and bring peace to an otherwise drastic situation.
All the Churches that I am familiar with do the right thing in this area, both with a abusive spouse (male or female) and with gossipers (male or female).
Thanks
RC
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Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 10:59:24 AM
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supernova1976
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quote:
As for domestic violence, we have had very little of it in our Church, but the Church dealt with it properly in my opinion; if someone broke the law, they were turned in to the law. if the situations was not to the law breaking point; then separation and
Yes, this man was arrested. This man had no legal rights to visit his children for a period of time. Gossiping? no. She was seeking help because she was a battered wife seeking help. I guess she should have stayed "quiet" so she was not found guilty of "gossip".
Sometimes, I think Christians make their fear of Hell, greater than their LOVE for God.
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 11:04:17 AM
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doinkdom
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We have dealt with DV in the past and did it biblically. That does not mean it was a joyous experience for anyone, but it did glorify God.
First, women must use the God given authorities to pursue this. She must call the police authorities for protection for her and her kids. I know they're scared, but gossiping about it in church with friends is not the same as notifying authorities who will provide her protection.
She can also call the leadership of the church (not sure what that means for each case or church, but we use Elders). An elder would be called in to mediate or intervene, whichever is appropriate. Some cases dictate the wife and kids staying overnight elsewhere, while the husband is confronted by his behavior. Other cases results in arrest and a subsequent trial. All cases require biblical counseling for one or both parties.
All this is based on the assumption that real abuse is taking place. I'm not saying it isn't, but many women today cry "wolf" to teach their husbands a lesson that is not theirs to teach.
Legal authorities are in place for the abusee to pursue as a means of protection. And the elders working alongside those authorities is what we have always done.
The whole once an abuser, always an abuser...is not true if God is involved and the abuser is confessional and repentent. And it usually doesn't change "overnight."
So...while you might be tired of the lack of church involvement...all churches are not the same. We struggle with doing the right thing and we struggle with the gossip and slander that are always a result of DV.
_____________________________
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.
They are consumed in twelve minutes.
Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence.
~Erma Bombeck
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 11:12:09 AM
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manda59
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You seem to be generalising here about all churches based on a few bad experiences with individual churches.
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 11:21:32 AM
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GroupW
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Supernova-
My own mothers experience is similar to what you describe. It happened twice in two different churches. It took her over 10 years to get to a point where she was ready to reengage with a local church. I'm glad RC and Doinkdom have had more positive experiences, but I think it's also true that there are communities where appropriate actions aren't taken and it's at least possible that this happens more often than we know. In my mothers case, knowlege of the incident was restricted to that pastor and a small number of elders. She felt sufficiently shamed by the whole ordeal that few in the community ever knew what had happened.
I recently left a church where a staff member complained of unwanted sexual advances by another staff member. The burden for dealing with this was placed on her. The man was not disciplined.
So, yes, issues like this remain distressingly too common. Many churches deal with situations like this improperly and the burden for this tends in such instances to fall disproportionately on the woman.
BT
(edited for the spots where my iPhone spell check messed up my intended message. I like technology but sometimes my phone thinks it is smarter than I am. Depending on the day and caffeine availability it may well be. )
< Message edited by GroupW -- 6/10/2009 11:30:55 AM >
_____________________________
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"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." -Bertrand Russell
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 11:22:38 AM
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supernova1976
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
You seem to be generalising here about all churches based on a few bad experiences with individual churches.
Your right, sorry. Not all churches. Thank you Manda. Sorry guys, just writing from an angry place right now and should not generalize.
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 11:26:34 AM
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supernova1976
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quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
We have dealt with DV in the past and did it biblically. That does not mean it was a joyous experience for anyone, but it did glorify God.
First, women must use the God given authorities to pursue this. She must call the police authorities for protection for her and her kids. I know they're scared, but gossiping about it in church with friends is not the same as notifying authorities who will provide her protection.
I disagree- a battered wife does not have the psychological means to know what she is suppose to do. The church is not dealing with a woman capable of making such sound choices. She is battered and bruised and scared. THIS IS NOT GOSSIP- it is WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!
All this is based on the assumption that real abuse is taking place. I'm not saying it isn't, but many women today cry "wolf" to teach their husbands a lesson that is not theirs to teach.
She had bruises, and a broken hip and CPS take away the kids from their Dad. What more did they need?
Legal authorities are in place for the abusee to pursue as a means of protection. And the elders working alongside those authorities is what we have always done.
The whole once an abuser, always an abuser...is not true if God is involved and the abuser is confessional and repentent. And it usually doesn't change "overnight."
I disagree.
So...while you might be tired of the lack of church involvement...all churches are not the same. We struggle with doing the right thing and we struggle with the gossip and slander that are always a result of DV.
Once the man learns not to shove his children up against the wall and break his wife's ribs this won't be a problem.
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 11:32:40 AM
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supernova1976
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GroupW
Supernova-
My own mothers experience is similar to what you describe. It happened twice in two different churches. It took her over 10 years to get to a point where she was ready to reengage with a local church. I'm glad RC and Doinkdom have had more positive experiences, but I think it's also true that there are communities where appropriate actions aren't taken and it's at least possible that this happens more often than we know. In my mothers case, knowlege of the incident was restricted to that pastor and a small number of elders. She felt sufficiently shamed by the whole ordeal that few in the community ever knew what had happened.
I recently left a church where a staff member complained of unwanted sexual advances by another staff member. The burden for dealing with this was placed on her. The man was not disciplined.
So, yes, issues like this remain distressingly too common. Many churches deal with situations like this improperly and the burden for this tends in such instancesnto fall disproportionately on the woman.
BY
Yep. This man not only was arrested and given only supervised visits, he is allowed in the church and to serve and she was told her AND her children were not welcome. This is with them knowing all that has taken place. When the child went to videotape the abuse the Father saw her trying to videotape it and the child got attacked physically. The church told her that the child should not disrespect hr father that way. THIS MAKES ME SICK. A child at 10 shouldn't be in the situation to even feel the NEED to videotape such a tragedy.
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 11:36:26 AM
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GroupW
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Davew - thanks. That was the attitude in my mothers first church.
SN - I agree. What appears to some as gossip is often just a cry for help. In such cases where a woman has been beaten down, expecting her to follow the proper procedures might be a standard that is beyond her current ability to do. That is when it's up to us to be insightful enough to see what's going on and intervene. Our intervention prevents both the gossip and further abuse both.
_____________________________
“For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, elegant and wrong.” -H.L. Mencken
"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." -Bertrand Russell
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 11:38:09 AM
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laura...
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I think your friend should consider it a blessing to have been kicked out of such a church. She should have left it long before they kicked her out.
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 11:38:51 AM
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supernova1976
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
I do understand SN. I have heard from pulpits of churches to the wives that even if you are killed, it is better than to rebel and leave your husband. 
That was a type of sermon given recently by this very church. He talked about how a group of women in China were so beaten by their husbands, but they never gave up, eventually they ended up turning them to Christ and the woman became heroes! and we should be the same. Imagine that. Did they think to take in the whole picture? what about the children? what about their rights? So then what about a real evil man that rapes his wife and molests his children in this family? (which DOES happen) do they have a say in this lifestyle? What would Jesus Christ say to a wife that knows her husband is raping his daughter? "submit more, pray more?" What about THAT child's soul? where is the "faithfullness clause in the family there?" do we dare to even examine, pray and look into the heart of God in those moments or just let the cycle keep going?
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 11:43:54 AM
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supernova1976
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quote:
ORIGINAL: supernova1976
quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
I do understand SN. I have heard from pulpits of churches to the wives that even if you are killed, it is better than to rebel and leave your husband.
That was a type of sermon given recently by this very church. He talked about how a group of women in China were so beaten by their husbands, but they never gave up, eventually they ended up turning them to Christ and the women became heroes! and we should be the same. Imagine that. Only GOD can save a man. Only God. Did they think to take in the whole picture? what about the children? what about their rights? So then what about a real evil man that rapes his wife and molests his children in this family? (which DOES happen) do they have a say in this lifestyle? What would Jesus Christ say to a wife that knows her husband is raping his daughter? "submit more, pray more?" What about THAT child's soul? where is the "faithfullness clause in the family there?" do we dare to even examine, pray and look into the heart of God in those moments or just let the cycle keep going?
Let's go to the scripture- Proverbs 14:12-
There is a way that seems right to a man,
but in the end it leads to death.
Shouldn't this verse have the possibility to apply to a sermon like that?
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 11:47:30 AM
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GroupW
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Personally, for situations like this I think that all the various scriptures about not letting a brother continue in sin would apply a bit more directly.
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“For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, elegant and wrong.” -H.L. Mencken
"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." -Bertrand Russell
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 12:03:21 PM
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Focusing
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I have not once had a pastor (or anyone in church leadership) tell me I was incorrect for divorcing my abusive husband. I have been blessed to have received the support and encouragement I needed when I needed it the most.
There is hope! Not all churches condemn abused women or place the blame for their husband's despicable conduct on their shoulders.
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Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.
Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 12:05:14 PM
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DaveW
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quote:
ORIGINAL: supernova1976
Did they think to take in the whole picture? what about the children? what about their rights? So then what about a real evil man that rapes his wife and molests his children in this family? (which DOES happen) do they have a say in this lifestyle? What would Jesus Christ say to a wife that knows her husband is raping his daughter? "submit more, pray more?" What about THAT child's soul? where is the "faithfullness clause in the family there?" do we dare to even examine, pray and look into the heart of God in those moments or just let the cycle keep going? No - they don't think. That is the problem.
Some stop just with the domestic stuff. Others do not. In the congregation I attended in college, it was taught that the only "right" anyone had was to lay down their rights.
EXAMPLE: A good friend of mine from back then got a phone call from someone on the pastoral staff about midnight that he needed some documents for an 8 am meeting from a city 3 hours away. Since this meeting was to last all day, the pastor said he could not go himself and sent the guy to get them for him. To refuse was to be in rebellion to God - or so they said.
At least they did not take sexual sin so lightly. They went overboard on that stuff. Every time they found someone who fell into that stuff they made them stand before the congregation (about 1000 adults) while they listed the offenses. They even sent their morality police around to query all the single guys to find out if they ever masturbated. That could get paraded in front of the congregation as well. My Even dating was grounds for being kicked out of the church. I remember several statements that "X has been removed from fellowship for violating the dating policy. He(she) is to be treated as an unbeliever."
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 12:07:06 PM
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doinkdom
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I wasn't really addressing this particular case...but DV in general.
quote:
ORIGINAL: supernova1976
I disagree- a battered wife does not have the psychological means to know what she is suppose to do. The church is not dealing with a woman capable of making such sound choices. She is battered and bruised and scared. THIS IS NOT GOSSIP- it is WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!
If she approached the leadership for help, then they should have definitely helped her.
quote:
Once the man learns not to shove his children up against the wall and break his wife's ribs this won't be a problem.
It would seem that the local authorities have done their job. It is now up to the wife and those who support her so she DOES NOT return to this man without him being under some serious accountability and "church discipline" and that might mean she is not alone with him. She does have a part to play...she must make a choice for her and her children's protection. I would think that those around her would help her do that. But ultimately, she must speak out to those who can do something.
I know this happens and it happens silently many times. But imo, making the church solely responsible is not the way to go either.
_____________________________
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.
They are consumed in twelve minutes.
Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence.
~Erma Bombeck
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 12:19:37 PM
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CindySc
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This poor lady, she should have gotten support and help and her husband should in no way be serving in a position with the church with all this going on. I have a friend whose husband will not darken the doors of the church because when he was a little boy, there was a deacon in the church he attended who abused his family, it was well known, and no one did anything about it. I'm not saying he's right for feeling that way, but I am saying in cases like that we need church discipline. I pray that she will find love and support in a different church.
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Therefore if any man be in Christ he is a new creature, old things are passed away, behold all things are become new.
2 Corinthians 5:17
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 12:28:40 PM
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sparkleingsnow
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Here is how scripture says a husband is to treat a wife.
Ephesians 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
As you said, your coming from an angry place. And we all feel anger, and saddness at such cruelties (both by the husband and some churches).
Let it spur you to action as it sounds like you are doing. But reminber God's word says to be angery but sin not. Don't let it make you bitter or fill you with hate, or cause you to take your eyes off of Jesus.
God bless your tender heart.
_____________________________
The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalms 18:2
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 12:53:26 PM
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SteelCurtain
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quote:
ORIGINAL: supernova1976
I recently heard of a testimony from a friend who was literally kicked out of her church for talking to others about the abuse going on in her home both to her and to her children. Instead of being supported by the church she was claimed to have sinned by gossiping and made her husband not look very good and told she had sinned in gossiping. I have heard the arguments on both sides as to what constitutes divorce. I get that. What I don't get is the response in how the church deals with domestic violence as it is happening. As they are coming forward to the church. I am a Domestic Violence Counselor and I go out on calls with the LAPD, these women are terrified for their lives, yet the first thing clergy states and goes to is not anything in the name of safety, but they go right to "no divorce, sumbit, pray more, your man rules over you" mentality. I am sick of it. I have been sick to my stomach by the latest story I heard. This woman not only had to have surgery from the abuse, she lost her church. Her church literally told her she was no longer welcome there anymore. Friends she had for years, just "gone" all because she spoke out. Why? because she shouldn't be gossiping. That is a sin. This makes me so angry. I am going to be starting a ministry for domestic violence with the help of other women because this needs to stop. Would Jesus Christ respond this way? would he say to a woman getting beaten "well, the only time divorce is allowed is if their is adultery?" First of all, it says "marital unfaithfullness" how is beating your wife and children "faithful?" How? someone PLEASE TELL ME HOW? God is a LOVING GOD. Just as powerful as those versus and commands are so are the two greatest one's which are to LOVE GOD, and LOVE OTHERS. I don't understand what has happened with that. This attitude that is developing in the church makes me sick, literally sick to my stomach. The sad thing I see in church, is there are so many Christians who are trying to follow the letter of the law, they have missed the entire point of what it truly means to LOVE in this world. I am sick of it.
Here is my take- God hates divorce- yes, he sure does. He also hates a soul that loves violence, a man that harms children, Jesus LOVES the little children, GOD hates the shedding of innocent blood. What about that side? I really need some prayer because I am so angry. God is also full of mercy. Even if she does leave, God is a loving and forgiving God that I believe does not want to see his children hurting.
I've read all of the posts thus far and see that there is some good, sound advice that has been given. We typically take the OP at their word so I will take you for yours.
You have every right to be angry. I'm sure that your job is a thankless one and one that is also filled with stress and a heavy heart. Perhaps you see so much of this that you just don't see a light at the end of the tunnel and when you think of the church as perhaps being that light, and you get let down, it would frustrate any of us.
First, domestic violence is wrong and should be reported. I recognize there are extreme cases (like the women in China) where women choose to stick it out and good things do happen. However, that is a rarity. I don't believe that God would want a woman or her children to stay in a home where their lives are constantly being threatened and I believe the Lord would honor that decision. A time of separation and counseling is needed for all parties involved and the church should be central in seeing this happen, particularly if this family is part of the church.
Second, to be quite honest, many pastors just don't know how to deal with this sort of situation. It's not something that is taught in Bible College  . It does not excuse the lack of attention paid to something like this but it is a delicate matter. Any pastor would be wise to seek outside counsel with those who deal with this on a regular basis.
Finally, if we want to split hairs and call gossip a sin that is worth kicking people out of the church for then NONE of us would be in church. We all do it from time to time. Based upon what you said, the church is wrong in what they did and I agree with another poster who stated it was probably for the best since this woman did not need to be there with this group of people anyway. Hopefully, she can find a good church to attend and get the help that she and her family needs.
_____________________________
Pray simply, wait sometimes, stick to the path.
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 1:53:16 PM
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deborlie
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I received no help from the authorities. After the first consultation with the authorities the husband chummed up to them. After that, I was ignored. Go figure.
As for the church......husband and I consulted with the pastor, it wasn't long before I was asked, "Where was my faith?" I wasn't kicked out of the church, other than during our separation, I received a letter, saying they hadn't received my tithe, and would be considered a non member.
(They had received my tithe but credited it to my husband.)
We separated, I heard nothing from the church during that time (accept the tithe bit), but my husband attended regularly all the while, with some council added in.
There are many emotions that a woman goes through during this time. One of the ones I remember most, was embarrassment. I felt something was terribly wrong with me, I couldn't figure out how to make it stop. I felt dumb because I couldn't stop it. I felt, if I was another woman she would know what to do and it would have never happened in the first place. He was right, I was inadequate. I was ashamed to tell anyone else.
The children weren't abused as such, but were abused as to being witnesses to it all. I put myself between them and him to keep them from being physically harmed. I was constantly threatened that he would take the children from me, he would see to it I would never get them. All this happened years ago, when there was not place to go for battered women. I'm glad these things are in place now.
Divorce did happen finally. Does God hate divorce? During the proceedings I was just as close to God as before, I experienced His peace beyond all understanding while life crumbled around me. God knows if He definitely disapproves of my divorcing, that I accept all responsibility accordingly for and about the divorce. He got me through it and still is working on me.
Thanks supernova.............
bj
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He's still working on me!
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 2:02:44 PM
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supernova1976
Posts: 350
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rcjames
quote:
ORIGINAL: supernova1976
quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
I do understand SN. I have heard from pulpits of churches to the wives that even if you are killed, it is better than to rebel and leave your husband.
That was a type of sermon given recently by this very church. He talked about how a group of women in China were so beaten by their husbands, but they never gave up, eventually they ended up turning them to Christ and the woman became heroes! and we should be the same. Imagine that. Did they think to take in the whole picture? what about the children? what about their rights? So then what about a real evil man that rapes his wife and molests his children in this family? (which DOES happen) do they have a say in this lifestyle? What would Jesus Christ say to a wife that knows her husband is raping his daughter? "submit more, pray more?" What about THAT child's soul? where is the "faithfullness clause in the family there?" do we dare to even examine, pray and look into the heart of God in those moments or just let the cycle keep going?
Since that is the case; then the woman is blessed to not be there anymore; no matter how she was set free from the church (and I use the term church loosely)
What ever kind of group that it is; it is not part of the Body of Christ if that is what they are teaching.
What denomination is this anyway?
Thanks
RC
It is non-denomintional. A church that has a well known and respected pastor. I am having a very very hard time with this. My heart is BROKEN over this family. This woman has so much Christlike love in this regard that she is praying and forgiving them. I could go on and on. My heart is broken right now. These children have so many issues from this it is heart BREAKING:( they are in counseling, having issues you would not believe and to top it off the children were told not to go back to the groups they were involved in at their church and everything. This is beyond sad. The church I guess has started warning people with statements that go something like this "I am gonna Matthew 18 you if you don't stop". I think I will cry hard today at the way people get treated by a church that is suppose to be there. I am angry today, can everyone pray for me please? I am so angry and hurt at injustice:( I don't feel joyful at all. Are we not suppose to bare each other's burden's? This woman has been left with a mortgage, no job, little support and all she walked away from her church was that she shouldn't have been gossiping about her husband and to stop being a victim. And this woman? she is out there reaching out to other churches, asking for help, and won't even reveal the name of the church that did this to her because she wants to be respectful of the church, and doesn't want to gossip etc.... and all this time, she is LOVING them, forgiving them. What is happening to us? Shouldn't we all be crying in our homes and or hearts over things like this? Yet, this very pastor and church (and I know them) are carrying on as usual. I am so broken.
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RE: Struggling with the church's response to Domestic V... - 6/10/2009 2:09:49 PM
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doinkdom
Posts: 5603
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: supernova1976
It is non-denomintional. A church that has a well known and respected pastor. I am having a very very hard time with this. My heart is BROKEN over this family. This woman has so much Christlike love in this regard that she is praying and forgiving them. I could go on and on. My heart is broken right now. These children have so many issues from this it is heart BREAKING:( they are in counseling, having issues you would not believe and to top it off the children were told not to go back to the groups they were involved in at their church and everything. This is beyond sad. The church I guess has started warning people with statements that go something like this "I am gonna Matthew 18 you if you don't stop". I think I will cry hard today at the way people get treated by a church that is suppose to be there. I am angry today, can everyone pray for me please? I am so angry and hurt at injustice:( I don't feel joyful at all. Are we not suppose to bare each other's burden's? This woman has been left with a mortgage, no job, little support and all she walked away from her church was that she shouldn't have been gossiping about her husband and to stop being a victim. And this woman? she is out there reaching out to other churches, asking for help, and won't even reveal the name of the church that did this to her because she wants to be respectful of the church, and doesn't want to gossip etc.... and all this time, she is LOVING them, forgiving them. What is happening to us? Shouldn't we all be crying in our homes and or hearts over things like this? Yet, this very pastor and church (and I know them) are carrying on as usual. I am so broken.
I was just thinking if this woman called us...what could we, as the Body do for her? We obviously could give her a home to feel safe and worship, but I'm not sure of what else...does she need temporary financial help? Has she filed for child support? Separation? Those 2 things are of minimal cost and would help set her finances in some kind of order.
Just trying to think of what a church can actually do for her right now if her husband is in jail, etc.
_____________________________
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.
They are consumed in twelve minutes.
Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence.
~Erma Bombeck
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