23 and no direction in life (Full Version)

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Powerchick -> 23 and no direction in life (6/20/2009 1:45:35 PM)

God has called me to be a Missionary, just not sure where yet. I haven't had a job since November(my parents and I are waiting for someone to buy our house). I don't have a job and I don't go to school anywhere. I live at house and pay rent. Being at home for 7 months gets old ater awhile. All my friends in college have gone home for the summer, so I'm stuck doing nothing. For a few months now, I've been seeking God's direction for my life, and He seems to be silent. My life is going nowhere right now. Oh and to make matters worse, I don't even have my high school deploma(mom won't let me get GED).


any advice and/or thoughts would be nice!

Casey



solo_soprano23 -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/20/2009 2:00:10 PM)

Um, get your GED anyway?

What do you mean your mom "won't let you"? Aren't you 23?



Powerchick -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/20/2009 2:14:09 PM)

yes I am, kinda hard when I don't drive/have a car



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/20/2009 7:42:11 PM)

How do you pay rent if you don't have a job?



Incidentally, do you live near public transportation? I haven't driven in 9 years . . . and I either walk or take the bus (or fly) wherever I need to go.

Failing that, you could probably get your GED online.



Have you researched your options (i.e., transportation, education, etc.)?



And there's a big difference between your mom not allowing you to get your GED and your not being able to drive. Are there other reasons as to why you are saying your mom "won't let you" get your GED?



Focusing -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/20/2009 8:10:42 PM)

How do you have friends in college that have all gone home for the summer if you don't go to school?

You say God has called you to be a missionary ... but are seeking His direction in your life? I'm confused. Has He given you a calling or not? You need to be proactive if you truly do believe He has called you into missionary work.

Why don't you get your GED? You're 23. Are your parents abusive? Why wouldn't they want you to have a good foot to start your life out on? How long has it been since you have gone to school? High school graduates are 17-18, so what have you been doing for the past 5-6 years? You haven't been working since November ... what kind of work were you doing? Are there no jobs in the area for you to take? Are you moving far away? Do you want to be an independent adult? If so, you need to make some independent decisions. Do you attend a church? Is your church able to help you out as far as obtaining your GED or getting a job or getting into missionary work?

So many questions .................



ctpruitt -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/20/2009 10:45:31 PM)

Yeah...this does sound weird; are your parents like my brother in that he is so scared of being sued (I have posted this story in another forum) that he won't let his kids drive? I mean, nowhere. I guess he and his wife just plan to drive them around until they get 80. Strangely enough, I have had only one response, and that guy agrees with him!

But anyway, as far you parents go, better be careful here; the Bible tells you to obey your parents; there is no condition to that. I know a man who pastors in Alaska and his testimony is built on that commandment. His father told him as a kid never to church and he obeyed him. When he was 30 he was in the Air Force and met a man who was a Christian.
Eentually he was led to Christ by this man. God can use any situation your are in to get His will done.

What's the deal with the GED? I have posted about that as well. Were you just a highschool dropout with the same attitude as my neice: "I hate school..." and was just too sorry to try? If so, now would be a good time to change that and try to get it. Like the posters above have already said, we need a tad more info.



solo_soprano23 -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/20/2009 11:55:11 PM)

I don't understand the GED thing either. Do they not want you to leave the house/be on your own? I've heard of parents trying to keep kids from things because they want the kids to stay there. (I'm not saying that's definitely what's going on in your case, but just that it happens.) Can you not take ANY job right now until you figure things out?



Powerchick -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/21/2009 12:37:01 AM)

It's been 3 years since I've been in high school. I live in Cleveland, Georgia(very small town). The state of Georgia requires everyone in high school to take a graduation test(which i took 7 times and still didn't pass). They let me walk with my class, just not get my diploma. With the GED, my mom says for whatever reason, it's 2x harder than the graduation test. Shes never had to deal with either one, so go figure. My parents and I are moving to Marietta(hour away from Cleveland) which is an hour from Atlanta, Georgia. I have college friends b/c I used to work at one for 2 1/2 years. Also, if it helps I have a learning disability(I'm slower than most people) which prob explains why I can't pass the tests and why my parents won't let me drive.

hopes this better helps ya'll understand more



Focusing -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/21/2009 1:07:54 AM)

Powerchick,

Yes, thank you, that information does help. Perhaps your parents are concerned that you will not pass the GED test and don't want you to be disappointed ... ? Is there any way that you can seek help, in the form of tutoring, to study for your GED? I am a strong believer in education (I worked at a college before going into the legal field), and I think it will only benefit you for your future. Since the house is up for sale, it may be best to wait until your family has moved before moving forward with these plans. What kind of work would you like to do, aside from going into the missions field? Do you have any natural abilities/talents that you think could be put to use in a career? (And by career I'm not talking about getting some big graduate degree ... I'm talking about what you want to do for a living.)

Also, do you have any idea what you would like to do, or what specifically God has called you to do, as a missionary? I had a friend tell me that as believers we are all in the missions field. If someone knows you are a believer, they are watching you and you may well be the only Bible they read. Don't know if that helps you any, but it sure put a new twist on my concept of going into the missions field. [:)]



ctpruitt -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/21/2009 9:57:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Powerchick

It's been 3 years since I've been in high school. I live in Cleveland, Georgia(very small town). The state of Georgia requires everyone in high school to take a graduation test(which i took 7 times and still didn't pass). They let me walk with my class, just not get my diploma. With the GED, my mom says for whatever reason, it's 2x harder than the graduation test. Shes never had to deal with either one, so go figure. My parents and I are moving to Marietta(hour away from Cleveland) which is an hour from Atlanta, Georgia. I have college friends b/c I used to work at one for 2 1/2 years. Also, if it helps I have a learning disability(I'm slower than most people) which prob explains why I can't pass the tests and why my parents won't let me drive.

hopes this better helps ya'll understand more



Hey! I know where Cleveland GA is; my band works out of Gainesville in Hall County. I live in Banks County. We play in Cleveland at a church called Center Grove Baptist or something like that every year.

What kind of learning disorder do you have? That would help.



FreeEagle -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/21/2009 4:22:07 PM)

Step 1.) Pray
Step 2.) Understand what Gods word says: Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Proverbs 4:7 Therefore, study and start with your GED, or contact the school and go to summer school to get your diploma. Don't wait until you might move - the house may not sell for a couple of years. Don't give yourself excuses, look at what you do have, and be thankful. Do it now! If the house sells before you finish, talk to neighbors and friends, perhaps you can stay with them until you finish.
Step 3.) Unless your disability totally stops you from ever driving, take some driving lessons now as well, even with disabilities you can learn. You don't have to rely on MOMMY for everything - It's time to grow up and use your disability to your advantage, not disadvantage. You may have to take tests several times, but the more you do it, the more you learn. Your "COSTS ALL YOU HAVE" may not be financial, it may be willingness to keep going until it's done.

I think of the Rice twins (brothers). Each less then 3 feet tall, went into real estate. They would ring the bell with one on the others shoulders, So when the home owner answered the door it looked like a tall person in the peep hole. The kids thought they were new playmates, it shut the kids up long enough for the parents to talk to the other, and close the deal.



Powerchick -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/22/2009 2:54:53 PM)

thanks for the advice, I know ya'll are just trying to help even though ya'll don't exactly understand what I'm going through. With this ecomony, it's hard to do anything really. I can't get my GED and I'm tired of failing the Georgia High School Grad. Test, so I think my only option is the waiver.



ctpruitt -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/22/2009 4:05:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Powerchick

thanks for the advice, I know ya'll are just trying to help even though ya'll don't exactly understand what I'm going through. With this ecomony, it's hard to do anything really. I can't get my GED and I'm tired of failing the Georgia High School Grad. Test, so I think my only option is the waiver.


Well, whether or not we understand fully or not, there is one thing I can almost assure you of: without the GED or the High School Dimploma you are unlikely to change anything. There was a time in this country where you could never go to school and still amount to something as far as your career goes. Those days are gone. At least attempt to take the GED. Sounds like like to me you have already determined you are going to amount to nothing. And with attitude, you won't.

I am curious why you parents are so against you taking the GED. It is no harder than the graduation exam. Is it possible that they just don't want you to leave?



justpassinby -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/22/2009 4:20:25 PM)

You have several issues going on here. The economy's bad for starters, so even other people your age have trouble knowing just where they want to be. You have learning disabilities, you are at an educational disadvantage without your diploma, and etc. etc. although I will admit for someone with learning disabilities you seem to be able to communicate reasonably well in your posts.

I think this is a little too difficult for folks here to handle on a forum not knowing you and whatnot.

If you feel God truly called you, I think there's a chance He may just be testing you to see if you will wait on Him. When God supposedly gives us choices, we are to take the open door, and in your case, if there seems to be none, just say to the Lord, "I know you want me to do your work, but I see no opening right now, so I will take the door I think you want me to take, and if that's not the one, I want you to guide me."

And in that path, I would suggest some Christian counseling, and by that I am not necessarily talking about for emotional problems but what I have in mind is more educational and vocational. I think you really need to be evaluated for strengths and weaknesses and what you need to equip yourself with before you can do the Lord's work. At this juncture, I think that's the best door all considering.



ta_mosquito -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/22/2009 5:01:36 PM)

If God calls you to something, He'll provide the way and equip you for that service. Perhaps you'll end up marrying a missionary and head out to the field with him. Who knows what God has in store?

But you do need to step out in faith and do as much as you can. I still don't see why you can't try for your GED, as the others have stated.



Powerchick -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/23/2009 1:40:44 PM)

With the whole GED thing, like i said before my mom won't let me meaning she said no and thats final convo ends there. She can be controlling. Shes always be like this.



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/23/2009 2:12:20 PM)

Then, it seems you truly are at a standstill.

If you had a job, I would encourage you to move out so that you can make your own decisions. Afterall, you are 23; that means that you are an adult.

Regarding a poster who said that we always have to obey our parents regardless (or words to that effect) . . . that is not correct. We are commanded to honor our parents. An adult can honor their parents without necessarily obeying them.




However, this all seems to be a moot point . . . UNLESS, even without a job you would be able to support yourself. I asked your previously how you were paying rent without a job; I'll repeat the question here.

If you have the means to move out, I would really encourage you to do so.
If you do not have such means, then since you are living at your parents' home, you pretty much do have to abide by their rules (i.e., No GED).



I don't understand why a mother would not want her child to better herself through education. I find that to be extremely unhealthy; for both the mother and the child. And if the child doesn't have a way of taking care of herself, it certainly puts the child in a no-win situation.



Regarding your wanting to be a missionary . . . have you researched the education requirements of whichever missions organizations you want to be associated with? And, if your mother won't allow you to get your GED, how in the world do you think she is going to allow you to become a missionary?



May Our Lord bless you and may you be able to hear and follow His Wisdom and Guidance.



solo_soprano23 -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/23/2009 6:20:37 PM)

Do you know WHY they don't want you to try to get your GED (or your mother, I suppose)? I was thinking perhaps she thinks you won't pass it and have the possibility of being disappointed. I was thinking you might need to have some kind of missionary training, perhaps college classes, but I'd think you'd need a GED, even if you aren't getting a degree. Or perhaps you might need outside missionary training that requires it.

Can you not talk to her about it? Maybe whenever you are able to move out, you should consider it. It seems like you're being hindered there, although I kind of understand having to obey because you live there (I just got my degree and live at home until I can find a job and move out, etc). I'd think whether I have a disability or not, they'd encourage education.... even if it's education catered to my needs.



Powerchick -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/23/2009 10:25:14 PM)

I can pay rent cause when i had a job I saved alot and hardly bought anything. yes it is unhealthy but what can I do but rely on God?



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/23/2009 11:22:09 PM)

Have you considered a work at home job? I'm not talking about the scams; there are many valid companies that will hire people to work from their home.

Have you looked into your states job service website? Do you know that many towns have a local affiliate to their state's job service organization and are very willing to help people find jobs; even people who have unique challenges to overcome?
HERE is Georgia's

Do you make any crafts that you can sell?
Such items can actually be sold online through a myriad of ways (from eBay to creating your own free website). Also, if you present yourself as one being serious about wanting to earn a living, sometimes your local job service organization will actually help you get started with your business.




I own and operate two businesses: an online office support company and also a hand-lettered calligraphy service. I also have websites for both businesses; I created the sites several months ago and they're both free websites.

Incidentally, I mentioned in a previous post that I don't drive. The reason I don't drive is due to a seizure history. When I wake up from a seizure, it is literally akin to a computer rebooting after freezing from a glitch. I first have to figure out who I am, where I am, when I am and so forth . . . then I can proceed from there. And since the vast majority of seizures that I have are while I'm by myself, I have to figure all this out . . . by myself.

And beyond that, I'll let you in on a secret that until a couple of weeks ago I have never divulged to anyone (and certainly not anyone online): I have to work very hard at remembering some things. Each time I have a seizure, it messes with my short-term memory. What that means is that anything new I have learned (including classes I have taken, books I have read, movies I have watched, people I have met . . . everything) within a certain time period before or after a seizure is completely wiped out. It's as if I never took that class or read that book or watched that movie or met that person.




Powerchick, yes you most certainly can and should rely on Our Lord . . . but He expects you to do your part as well. You are a 23-year old adult. It appears that you are using various "excuses" as being valid reasons as to why you are not taking control of your own life. That in itself is also unhealthy . . . and unrealistic.



You have some choices: You can choose to continue letting your mother control your life and you can choose to continue using a learning disability as an excuse for not doing anything . . . OR you can realize that you most definitely do have a most wonderful life to live and choose to actually live it. Our Lord will always take care of you; I completely believe that . . . but He is not going to hand your life to you on a silver platter; YOU are going to have to be an active participant in things.




Incidentally, I live in a town that has quite a few mentally handicapped adults; everything from accident-induced permanent brain injuries to various degrees of mental retardation. There's also a wonderful organization here in town that provides different services to these individuals. BUT. One of the guidelines is that each person who receives such services is REQUIRED to work and earn their own way. It depends on the person's own competency levels; but everyone is most definitely required to work. One of the guys that is a client is also one of the most popular people in town. He is mentally retarded . . . and he works a 40-hour/week job . . . in a customer-service related job! He also is very responsible regarding this job. When he's on the clock, he is ON the clock. When he's off the clock, he off living his life . . . He doesn't let being mentally retarded stand in his way of living his life or being a responsible adult.




One more . . . I periodically send out an email to some of my friends called, "Today's Snippet". Tonight, I received a response to a snippet I had shared a couple of weeks ago. The timing of my friend's email (and reminder of such snippet) is so wonderful that I want to share that particular snippet with you now . . . in hopes of encouraging you with your own life. Click HERE.




My point in telling you all this?
Again, to reiterate that anyone can make a determination that they are going to do something with their life. Anyone can decide to not let excuses get in their way.




Basically, it boils down to this: How badly do you want to drive? How badly do you want to live on your own? How badly do you want to be a missionary? How badly do you want to take control of your life (versus continuing to allow your mother to have such control?)

Once you have answered these questions to yourself, you will have a better picture of what you need to do.



rgod -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/24/2009 7:52:40 AM)

Wow Sharon-Marie - thanks for the post. I'm not in the same situation as the poster - but your post really blessed me! Thanks.

PowerChick - I think that you've gotten some good advice here. I see strengths in you. You are able to budget wisely - you are able to obtain employment, you are able to express your thoughts clearly. You strike me as someone who is very hardy - you might think that you are weak but somehow I don't think so. I get the sense that you are tough. And you believe in God. I feel that if you can just get out there, you can make it - just fine. It seems to me that all you need is some assistance from someone outside of the family to help you with your GED and your driver's license. It sounds like you said that your mother hasn't taken the high school exam or a GED test - does she have a diploma? If not, she might not really understand the significance of it in today's world. Times have changed. If your mom has had to deal with a lot of limits in her own life, she might put limits on you that aren't really necessary - she might love you, but not realize all that God has put in you. In your life - because of your disability - you might run into people who will underestimate you. You are going to have to overcome that - and I'm confident that you will do it - but the first step will be with your parents.

So, you are called to be a missionary. You need to get your GED. You've failed the high school exam 7 times. You have some money saved. You don't have a job and can't drive. You held a job previously. Can you live with someone else for a while - pay them rent? Another family member that won't give you as hard of a time for moving forward? Look at it this way - if something were to happen to your mom - how would you take care of yourself? (Raising that question should get her thinking.) Let her know that you just want to take care of yourself. How will you follow God's plan for your life?

The link to the state program that Sharon Marie gave is a good starting point. Also, getting vocational counseling is another excellent idea. Let these people know that you want to get a GED, you have a learning disability, and you need help. They might be able to help you. If you want to be a missionary, then start looking at the type of background a missionary needs and start praying about that. You might want to call Wycliffe, YWAM, or another missions agency and start asking questions. Once you start talking to people about your situation, they can start giving you some ideas about what you can do and where you can get help.

You are not the only person with a learning disability to need a GED. I've met several in college. In fact, last year I knew of a guy who had a learning disability. He got lots of assistance through the college and today he has his Bachelor's degree and is running his own business. He was a good student. He drives, has his own place - and there is nothing different about him vs. anyone else.

I believe that if God gave you something in your heart, then you can do it - you can make it!



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/24/2009 9:52:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: rgod

Wow Sharon-Marie - thanks for the post. I'm not in the same situation as the poster - but your post really blessed me! Thanks.
You're most very welcomed, rgod! And thank you for letting me know! [:)]



PixieSunBelle -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/27/2009 5:16:35 PM)

Are you relying on your mother to pay for your GED or lessons for the GED? Is that why she has the say in whether or not you can get it? If so, can you ask your grandparents and go to the library for books on GEDs? Perhaps they can finance lessons for drivers ed and lessons for your GED?



IamLibertarian -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/28/2009 5:24:43 PM)

hmmm....I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Being 23, without a car or license, no job, no HS Diploma, a learning disability, and controlling parents as well - That's really tough.

This may sound redundant...but being 20 yrs old college student, I realize how important an education is...or at least the piece of paper that says you are educated. I see many of my friends, most of whom are older than I, without educations, working construction and have no opportunity for advancement in life.

You have to get your diploma OR G.E.D. What do you do all day without a job? I would go down to Barnes and Noble and get a study guide for the GED and read it cover to cover for the next month...then take practice tests (which should be included) and show your mom you can and will pass it if you take it. From there, enroll yourself in community college, get a job, and get some freedoms that every 23 year old should have (with or without a learning disability). I see you can get online, work a computer, type, and have decent if not good grammar skills, so whats the problem? You are already ahead of the curve!

It seems to me like you are waiting on the world to give you an opportunity, but you need to go out into the world and grab an opportunity. They are there, you just have to leave your house.



let_your_light_shine -> RE: 23 and no direction in life (6/28/2009 9:15:51 PM)

I am 22 and have the same problems with direction for my life. I took a year of college and loved the classes and everything, but I still don't know what I want to do. I change my mind so much. One day I decide on a career and the next, it's something else. I am currently looking for a job so I know what it's like to be home. You just have to fill your time with meaningful things. Seek the Lord and He'll give you the desires of your heart. Even if you don't know what they are yet, He knows. And as for your GED, you're 23. You're a grown adult and should not be letting anyone hold you back from what you should have. I still don't have my license because my parents made me wait and I really resent that. I live in their house so I want to obey but I need to learn to stand on my own two feet. And my parents are enabling me to just live a life of nothing. If you want to get your GED, check out a local community college, they usually have classes to get you on track. It's not a horrible thing to want a GED so I don't know why your mom wouldn't let you get it. Have a mature conversation with her and tell her it's something you need to do for you. Maybe that will work.



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