Reflection for a Funeral (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Faith] >> Ministry Leaders



Message

PastorPatricia -> Reflection for a Funeral (6/21/2009 4:29:40 PM)

I've been asked, by my pastor, to preach at a funeral this coming week. This is a first for me, I preach on a regular bases but have never done a funeral. What Scriptures do you use? How long should a sermon be at a funeral - I'm thinking fairly short. I know the deceased but not well. Any help will be much appreciated.



TheTartanTammy -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/21/2009 5:43:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PastorPatricia

I've been asked, by my pastor, to preach at a funeral this coming week. This is a first for me, I preach on a regular bases but have never done a funeral. What Scriptures do you use? How long should a sermon be at a funeral - I'm thinking fairly short. I know the deceased but not well. Any help will be much appreciated.


I usually speak for about 10/15 mins in total, including a reflection on the persons life. Was the person a born again Christian? That will determine a lot what scriptures you use, ie, are you able to give assurance of the individuals eternal well being like Jn 14, Rev 21, Ps23 etc?

The 10/15 mins I also break into 2 or 3 segments with hymns in between. Your pastor should have some good handbooks on preparing and taking funerals.

Hope this helps.



rcjames -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/21/2009 5:50:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy
I usually speak for about 10/15 mins in total, including a reflection on the persons life. Was the person a born again Christian? That will determine a lot what scriptures you use, ie, are you able to give assurance of the individuals eternal well being like Jn 14, Rev 21, Ps23 etc?

The 10/15 mins I also break into 2 or 3 segments with hymns in between. Your pastor should have some good handbooks on preparing and taking funerals.

Hope this helps.


Tammy, what do you say if the person being buried is obviously not a Christian?

Thanks
RC



TheTartanTammy -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 3:22:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcjames

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy
I usually speak for about 10/15 mins in total, including a reflection on the persons life. Was the person a born again Christian? That will determine a lot what scriptures you use, ie, are you able to give assurance of the individuals eternal well being like Jn 14, Rev 21, Ps23 etc?

The 10/15 mins I also break into 2 or 3 segments with hymns in between. Your pastor should have some good handbooks on preparing and taking funerals.

Hope this helps.


Tammy, what do you say if the person being buried is obviously not a Christian?

Thanks
RC


I seek to get a balance between comforting those left behind and proclaiming the truth of the gospel for all attending the funeral.



rcjames -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 9:46:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy

quote:


Tammy, what do you say if the person being buried is obviously not a Christian?

Thanks
RC


I seek to get a balance between comforting those left behind and proclaiming the truth of the gospel for all attending the funeral.


Excellent response.

Sometimes families of the obviouly lost departed, want the minister to say that the departed is in heaven, but with proper counsel they usually are go along with the minister not saying that.

Although I have had folks in these situations seek some other minister when I said I would not declare their departed one to be in Heaven.

I honestly have gotten to the point to where I will only do funerals of my Church's members, or family of the members.

Thanks
RC



TheTartanTammy -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 9:52:24 AM)

RC said, "I honestly have gotten to the point to where I will only do funerals of my Church's members, or family of the members."




Isn't every funeral a gospel opportunity?!



Eutychus -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 10:16:18 AM)

One of my grandfathers showed little, if any, evidence of being saved. The preacher that performed the funeral only once indirectly mentioned him at all (something like, "this is a sad time for us to meet"). Other than than that, it was entirely a Gospel message.

My family and I greatly appreciated the way it was handled. It would have undermined the preacher's credibility had he attempted to gloss over granddad's life.



bolt. -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 10:55:57 AM)

It is possible to honour the dead person, even leaving hurtful things unmentioned -- so as to focus on the positive of their life, not directly mentioning, "Too bad they are in hell."

Saying things like, "He meant a lot to all of us." -or- "He was a fun-loving guy." -or- "We loved going fishing with him." and then moving on to a Gospel presentation would not be out of order as a sort of 'gloss' for the beloved deceased, even if they never came to Christ.



rcjames -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 11:01:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bolt.

It is possible to honour the dead person, even leaving hurtful things unmentioned -- so as to focus on the positive of their life, not directly mentioning, "Too bad they are in hell."

Saying things like, "He meant a lot to all of us." -or- "He was a fun-loving guy." -or- "We loved going fishing with him." and then moving on to a Gospel presentation would not be out of order as a sort of 'gloss' for the beloved deceased, even if they never came to Christ.


I agree and do not mention that they are probably in hell.

But I will not say that a person is in heaven who has not lived a open Christian life.

And sometimes families ask you to do that even if ole Uncle Joe was the worst reprobate in the country. So I speak to the good things in in life, but will not give false hope, or indicate that someone can live a reprobate life and get to heaven.

Thanks
RC

Edited to correct error pointed out by Kerrlaw, thanks



rcjames -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 11:03:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy
Isn't every funeral a gospel opportunity?!


Absolutey, always a great gospel opportunity.

Thanks
RC



TheTartanTammy -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 1:04:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcjames

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy
Isn't every funeral a gospel opportunity?!


Absolutey, always a great gospel opportunity.

Thanks
RC


So, why restrict yourself to churchy funerals only?



rcjames -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 2:40:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy
So, why restrict yourself to churchy funerals only?


I will ordinarily only do Chrurch members or Chruch member's families, but on the rare occasion (someone from the area who has lived elsewhere, but desired to be buried here; and has been an active Church member somewhere else) I will do.

My experience has been that too many of the families on non-Church attending folks insist on the minister proclaiming that the deceased in Heaven bound (even though he evidently is not), or they think that by using the Church or giving a donation that it might help the departed in thier journey in the afterlife.

There are many Churches that will do funerals for anyone and for any reason; mine is not one that will honor a life of refusing Christ and living a life of rebellion and disobedience.

That may not suit everyone; but that is the way it is.

Thanks
RC



PastorPatricia -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 3:23:58 PM)

I have no idea where this lady stands with Christ, she attended our little Anglican church but I really don't know her well. I feel a funeral is an excellent opportunity to give a gospel message of hope and peace.



jn1010lf -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 3:39:49 PM)

Hello PastorPatricia

I think your comments about the deceased should be in line with what you think match his or hers when alive. For example, a preacher once did a funeral of a man that everyone knew had never darkened the door of a church and produced purely carnalistic fruit. All he said was, "He was a good man." It was accurate and yet safe.

Now on the other hand, you are a preacher of the gospel of Jesus Christ. So, there would be nothing out of order for you to present the gospel and issue an alter call. What better place? People have eternity on their minds, unless they are so numb that nothing would ever move them.



TheTartanTammy -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 5:10:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcjames

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy
So, why restrict yourself to churchy funerals only?


I will ordinarily only do Chrurch members or Chruch member's families, but on the rare occasion (someone from the area who has lived elsewhere, but desired to be buried here; and has been an active Church member somewhere else) I will do.

My experience has been that too many of the families on non-Church attending folks insist on the minister proclaiming that the deceased in Heaven bound (even though he evidently is not), or they think that by using the Church or giving a donation that it might help the departed in thier journey in the afterlife.

There are many Churches that will do funerals for anyone and for any reason; mine is not one that will honor a life of refusing Christ and living a life of rebellion and disobedience.

That may not suit everyone; but that is the way it is.

Thanks
RC


Whoops! Not a lot of God's grace in evidence then. What right have we to judge the eternal well being of someone, I thought that was God's job and simply our place to proclaim the unchanging gospel?



TMeeks -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 5:14:40 PM)

While I am not a full time minister nor even, officially, a pastor except in an occasional interim sense.

But, I am sometimes asked to officiate at a funeral or a memorial service.

I actually enjoy leading a funeral where there is no doubt at all that the person knew exactly where they were going and that was into the presence of God.

While it's sad for me that any of my friends or their family dies without Christ, I still feel it's a priviledge to help that family remember the things their loved one. I don't do this as a 'pastor'. I simply do it as someone that has known the person and appreciated their kindess and friendship on this earth. There is nothing wrong with remembering any life that was lived in love and kindness.

But, the ones that are THE MOST DIFFICULT for me are those where I'm in a church pulpit, leading a funeral for someone that supposedly accepted Christ at some point in their life and yet, showed no signs of it for the bulk of their life. Yes, they "Came Forward"... so, the family fully expects to hear how they are "in heaven". But, everything about their daily walk screams that they never truly knew Christ. These are the funerals that I hate to be asked to perform. All I can do is talk about salvation in Jesus Christ and ignore any direct connection to the deceased. It's a very uncomfortable position for me. And, this is one of the reason why I dislike what I call "Golden Ticket" evangelism where even our call to sinners is based on "What's in it for me."



Eutychus -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 5:18:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy
Whoops! Not a lot of God's grace in evidence then. What right have we to judge the eternal well being of someone, I thought that was God's job and simply our place to proclaim the unchanging gospel?

Would that be your stance if the deceased was a drunk, a womanizer, a thief, and a brawler much of his adult life?

What ever happened to Christian wisdom and discernment?



TheTartanTammy -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 5:37:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Eutychus

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy
Whoops! Not a lot of God's grace in evidence then. What right have we to judge the eternal well being of someone, I thought that was God's job and simply our place to proclaim the unchanging gospel?

Would that be your stance if the deceased was a drunk, a womanizer, a thief, and a brawler much of his adult life?

What ever happened to Christian wisdom and discernment?


Whatever happened to leaving God to do the judging? Grace is the key. Funerals offer grace opportunities. There is no room to give false hope, but there is plenty of scope to express God's grace and Jesus the only hope for those left behind! The individual in the box has spent his/her life, nothing can be reversed, but let us at least show God's grace and offer of salvation to those looking on.



Kerrlaw -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 5:50:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcjames

quote:

ORIGINAL: bolt.

It is possible to honour the dead person, even leaving hurtful things unmentioned -- so as to focus on the positive of their life, not directly mentioning, "Too bad they are in hell."

Saying things like, "He meant a lot to all of us." -or- "He was a fun-loving guy." -or- "We loved going fishing with him." and then moving on to a Gospel presentation would not be out of order as a sort of 'gloss' for the beloved deceased, even if they never came to Christ.


I agree and do mention that they are probably in hell.

But I will not say that a person is in heaven who has not lived a open Christian life.

...
Thanks
RC



RC, Did you mean that you do not mention that they are probably in hell? this would be more in context with your other posts.


I remember that my sweet little Granny, who rarely got angry, would get mad as a wet hen whenever the subject of her brother's funeral came up. She said that the pastor "preached him straight to hell".



Eutychus -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 5:59:10 PM)

Many years ago, a thought occurred to me during a funeral:

Our eulogy is not prepared by someone else the night before and delivered by them on the day of our funeral. We write and deliver our own eulogy, one day at a time over the couse of our lifetime.



rcjames -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 7:25:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy

Whatever happened to leaving God to do the judging? Grace is the key. Funerals offer grace opportunities. There is no room to give false hope, but there is plenty of scope to express God's grace and Jesus the only hope for those left behind! The individual in the box has spent his/her life, nothing can be reversed, but let us at least show God's grace and offer of salvation to those looking on.


Church is for Christians, Church is for Christians to grow in, Church is for Chrisitans to be married in, and Chruch is for Christians to have a funeral service in.

To put on the front for an obvious reprobate who had never been to church, nor lived a Chrisitan life, and hold a service for them in a Church is absolutely wrong.

To give false hope to other lost folks that an obvious sinner is somehow going to heaven is sick in the worst way, and will only cement them in thier unbelief. to honor such a person in a Church in wrong, wrong, wrong.

Thnaks
RC



bolt. -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 7:39:52 PM)

At our Church we had a funeral service for the long-ago ex-wife of one of our members. None of us knew her, nor did the pastor. There was no indication that she was heavenbound, either by the family or our pastor during the service. In fact, I got the gentle impression (not that it was said openly) that she had been mentally ill, even cruel, and definitely immoral.

The man, our member and friend, had no where else to mourn. He belonged with us -- his family. His 4-or-so grown children (by the deceased woman) came and also were wept-with as they wept. Their spouses and children were welcomed. Of those 4 grown-children families, 3 return and visit our Church about twice a year. They hear the gospel, they see the love of Christians. Someday, maybe, that will be significant -- someday it might be important that they remember this Church, our Church, as a place of warmth, comfort and true belief.

That's not a bad outcome for holding the funeral of a complete stranger, with only the most tenuous connection to one of our family. I'm glad I went -- and I'm very glad that our pastor is not of RC's opinion on this matter.



mvic -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/22/2009 7:39:52 PM)

I'm getting confused ... and this is way off the original post by Pastor Patricia; but still on topic since you all raised the subject:

If the deceased has not been a Christian when alive then what business have we to conduct a funeral in church? Who are we fooling here? The deceased, his family and friends or God?



TheTartanTammy -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/23/2009 3:25:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcjames

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheTartanTammy

Whatever happened to leaving God to do the judging? Grace is the key. Funerals offer grace opportunities. There is no room to give false hope, but there is plenty of scope to express God's grace and Jesus the only hope for those left behind! The individual in the box has spent his/her life, nothing can be reversed, but let us at least show God's grace and offer of salvation to those looking on.


Church is for Christians, Church is for Christians to grow in, Church is for Chrisitans to be married in, and Chruch is for Christians to have a funeral service in.

To put on the front for an obvious reprobate who had never been to church, nor lived a Chrisitan life, and hold a service for them in a Church is absolutely wrong.

To give false hope to other lost folks that an obvious sinner is somehow going to heaven is sick in the worst way, and will only cement them in thier unbelief. to honor such a person in a Church in wrong, wrong, wrong.

Thnaks
RC


I would suggest that the church exists for sinners! Those who are saved and kept by God's grace, and those who will be drawn into a relationship with Him as He draws them.

The church is a visible sign of God's love and grace on earth. I see it as a lifeboat floating on a sea of sin and utter depravity, our duty with God's grace and power is to reach out to those drowing in the sea that they too, like us might be saved and kept by grace.

In my opinion the church is not a building, but the people of God who are church 24/7 wherever we are. I would have no difficulty in conducting a funeral in a church building, providing I wan't restricted in any way in proclaiming God's word.



TheTartanTammy -> RE: Reflection for a Funeral (6/23/2009 3:27:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mvic

I'm getting confused ... and this is way off the original post by Pastor Patricia; but still on topic since you all raised the subject:

If the deceased has not been a Christian when alive then what business have we to conduct a funeral in church? Who are we fooling here? The deceased, his family and friends or God?


Depends on your definition of 'church'. Is church the building, or God's people, living stones? (My reply to RC refers).



Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>



Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI