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How to save a Christian marriage - 6/23/2009 12:29:20 AM
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chinesechristians
Posts: 12
Joined: 5/25/2009
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Christian marriages are more prone to destructive forces because both partners are aware of "sin" and as such could notice the partner's "sinful ways" more often. They are supposed to be "Made in Heaven", the truth, however, is that a Christian couple's marriage is more "challenged" due to the fact both partners have to fullfill his/her religious obligations while simultaneously maintaining a marriage.
Christian unions are no different from ordinary couples. They are human too with their human frailties and weaknesses: they forget things, they are impatient and irate at times; they're inconsiderate and selfish; and because they are aware of sin - hell is a lot more closer to them; but and this is a big BUT - all of these will vanish once
CHRIST comes into the picture.
How can you save your Christian marriage?
The following are methods suggested by Christian couples themselves, who had gone through the miserable experience of a near break-up.
1. Renew your church vows
This does not mean that you have to go to church and be blessed again. This simply means that you go over the process of promising your partner "To love and to cherish her/him, till death will you part".
Hold your partner's hand and then repeat the words that you have said during your wedding vows.
If you have the financial means, then you can actually "get married" again in church with all the trimmings and the grandiose preparations.
2. Pray and read the Holy Bible together
One quotation that made a mark on most Christian families is this: "A family that prays together stays together." And how true! Praying together develops strong bonds and enhances relationships that are difficult to break.
When one prays, positive energy is attracted because of the positive vibes that one sends out in return.
When you know that a person is praying for you, you feel a kinship towards this person, because you know he/she means well. Good relationships start with good thoughts for each other.
3. Observe the Golden Rule
This is Christ's edict for all Christians: "Do unto others, what you like others, do unto you!" The Golden Rule. When you do something to your spouse, do you want him/her doing the same thing to you? If your answer is no, then don't do it!
Observing this very significant rule will pave the way for better understanding and forgiveness for past transgressions. When forgiveness is there, reconciliation follows and this will save the marriage from apparent break-up.
4. See Christ in everyone specially your spouse
If you see Christ in your spouse, I don't think you would do her/him wrong.
Christ said too, "Whatsoever you do the least of my brethren that you do unto me." If both of you and your spouse follow this adage, then your marriage would be saved without doubt.
5. Trust in Him who made all things possible
When you've done the things that you are supposed to do, and there is nothing more you could humanely do, then pray and leave it all up to Him. Stop worrying. Remember that what will happen next is His will.
Get a good night's sleep and free yourself of worries. Learn how to say: "Thy will be done, Lord."
All in all, these methods speak of Christ being the center of the relationship. Christ acts as the anchor into which both you and your spouse should hold on to.
Don't let go of that "Anchor"! Have a firm grip of His hands, and your marriage would sail smoothly - even through the rough seas of life!
_____________________________
chinese christian
chinese church
chinese christian song http://www.christianmarriagebook.com/
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RE: How to save a Christian marriage - 6/23/2009 1:08:06 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1652
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
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I would have to say the best way to save a Christian marraige is to determine from the very beginning that divorce is NEVER an option....and to make sure that YOU are a mature Christian and be aware from the get go that you can NEVER change your spouse...only yourself.
I have to disagree with renewing your vows...even in the home. The Bible teaches when we make a vow...we make it. We are to abide by it. Period. One time of taking my vows was enough...I meant what I spoke. Do I decide daily to abide by those vows? yes..
The other key is remember that Love is a decision...not a feeling.
And the one you touched on the most...keep Christ the center of your lives...as individuals as well as as a couple.
There is no magic formula for a good marriage...just like there is no magic formula for a godly life. One must seek out and do that which is necessary.
Trouble does not vanish just because you do all the right things....but if you do all the right things and keep Christ in the midst of it all....you will get through the trouble.
20 years of marriage...a lot of hard times..and more good ones speaking here.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: How to save a Christian marriage - 6/23/2009 11:51:37 PM
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carl54
Posts: 43
Joined: 5/31/2005
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I would say what it takes is surrendering of oneself and concentrating on delighting your spouse. If both spouses did that it would make for a great marriage. Along with this it is necessary for spouses to understand that no one is perfect -- so we should be more forgiving, less critical, and more understanding.
_____________________________
Walk in the Sirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Gal 5:16
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RE: How to save a Christian marriage - 6/25/2009 3:28:32 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 2215
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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The Christians in the Western World stand with the Christians in Asia, many of whom are deprived of basic human rights, and are sometimes seized by government agents and deprived of liberty and sometimes their lives. May God be glorified and His Church encouraged.
It would be an advantage for governments to fish in Christian forums to get information of various types, so I beg fellow forum members to discuss issues involving Communist countries with great discretion.
quote:
ORIGINAL: chinesechristians
Christian marriages are more prone to destructive forces because both partners are aware of "sin" and as such could notice the partner's "sinful ways" more often.
Please forgive me - I take issue with some of your basic presuppositions.
I think Christian marriages are targeted by more destructive forces because there are spiritual beings in the world who are in rebellion against God and thus against anyone who belongs to God. God has promised us protection and power against evil. It is spiritual warfare, and God won the battle 2000 years ago when He rose from the dead. The war is over; we're just mopping up pockets of rebellion. We've already won, we have power to live, and our future in heaven is sure.
When we see the sin in our own lives and see the forgiveness God gives us to make things right with Him, we are more forgiving to other sinners (he who has been forgiven much will love much) and make reconciliation more likely.
quote:
They are supposed to be "Made in Heaven"
I'm sorry; this idea does not come from the Bible. We are all born dead in our sin, and a more wretched batch of vipers does not exist. God saves some of us, forgives us, and starts changing our lives to become more like God.
quote:
the truth, however, is that a Christian couple's marriage is more "challenged" due to the fact both partners have to fullfill his/her religious obligations while simultaneously maintaining a marriage.
I don't believe this is true. God made us to be in relationships, not obligation. What God asks us to do is become the people He made us to be and want to be. We are not called to obligation, we are called to fullness and joy.
quote:
Christian unions are no different from ordinary couples.
Sinners who know what is sin and can avoid it and be forgiven when they don't avoid are vastly better off than people who are trapped in their sin with no obvious way out.
quote:
They are human too with their human frailties and weaknesses: they forget things, they are impatient and irate at times; they're inconsiderate and selfish; and because they are aware of sin - hell is a lot more closer to them; but and this is a big BUT - all of these will vanish once
CHRIST comes into the picture.
Christ is not a magic wand who suddenly makes lives perfect - He is the living God who changes people who confess their sin and turn their lives to love Him. He works in His own way.
quote:
How can you save your Christian marriage?
You can't. But God can.
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The following are methods suggested by Christian couples themselves, who had gone through the miserable experience of a near break-up.
1. Renew your church vows
Are people who were near failure better counselors than Christians who have spent their lives studying and obeying God?
quote:
Praying together develops strong bonds and enhances relationships that are difficult to break .
I'm sorry, the Bible does not say this. It says praying is talking to God, and God is strong and helps us. God is the king of the universe because He made it and rules it. No one can fight against Him and win.
quote:
When one prays, positive energy is attracted because of the positive vibes that one sends out in return.
NonChristian hippies would love this, but it is nonsense.
quote:
3. Observe the Golden Rule
This is Christ's edict for all Christians: "Do unto others, what you like others, do unto you!" The Golden Rule. When you do something to your spouse, do you want him/her doing the same thing to you? If your answer is no, then don't do it!
There are deeper truths a Christian knows as he or she grows, and nonChristians will never understand them. It is impossible because a nonChristian is spiritually dead. You can't make a dead person understand spiritual truth.
quote:
When forgiveness is there, reconciliation follows
Not doing something morally perfectly is called sin. God does not sin and cannot tolerate sin. Sin can be paid for by death, so God became a man and lived perfectly (without sin) and then died in sinful mankind's place. So we are free to turn to God and He will not reject us but will accept us as a loving father accepts his children.
We have forgiveness only in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is for all who will accept it, no matter how terrible they are.
A forgiven person will turn away from sin and want to do things God's way.
quote:
4. See Christ in everyone specially your spouse
Jesus said that He would judge every person in the world after they die, and a whoever hurts a Christian did it to God. It is a great condemnation.
quote:
Christ said too, "Whatsoever you do the least of my brethren that you do unto me."
See, you knew that, too.
quote:
If both of you and your spouse follow this adage, then your marriage would be saved without doubt.
Only God can make promises, and He never made this one.
quote:
5. Trust in Him who made all things possible
When you've done the things that you are supposed to do, and there is nothing more you could humanely do, then pray and leave it all up to Him. Stop worrying. Remember that what will happen next is His will.
Get a good night's sleep and free yourself of worries. Learn how to say: "Thy will be done, Lord."
This is true.
quote:
All in all, these methods speak of Christ being the center of the relationship. Christ acts as the anchor into which both you and your spouse should hold on to.
The Bible doesn't say this. It says that Jesus is the anchor of our faith, and its finisher also.
quote:
Don't let go of that "Anchor"! Have a firm grip of His hands, and your marriage would sail smoothly - even through the rough seas of life!
This runs contrary to the Bible that says we should welcome trials. God never promises a smooth sail to anyone. Life has problems but the Christians benefit from them. The nonChristians hurt the Christians and then die and go to hell. Hell is a terrible place.
One of the greatest Christians was a man who used to throw Christians into jail and sometimes kill them. God spoke to him and saved him; later he was heard praising God and helping Christians. His long life of helping Christians and losing his life (the government killed him) proved he was going to heaven.
Christians can be hurt and killed, but God won the war 2000 years ago and He cannot be stopped. His rule as king is coming, and those who love Him and serve Him will live forever with Him in joy, never to be hurt again. Those who hate God will go to hell forever, and there is no more chance to turn back to God and live for Him.
God sees everything you do, knows everything you think, hears everything you say. The hidden things will someday be shouted from the rooftops. Every person is called to turn to God and bow before Him - we can do it now, because a day is coming that every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
May God be glorified in His people. Worthy is the Lamb that was slain, to receive power and riches and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and blessing!
_____________________________
"Through Gates of Splendor" by Elizabeth Elliot
"Federal Husband" by Doug Wilson
www.biblegateway.com for online concordance (I use it daily)
"Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot
And I think chickens are really funny
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RE: How to save a Christian marriage - 6/29/2009 5:34:09 PM
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dboe
Posts: 130
Joined: 1/19/2009
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To poster, what a positive, upbeat posting for a change!!! (a change for this site not for you posting here :) Thanks for your words of encouragment! To deermousie. Okay, so some of these things are phrased differently than, "thou shalt" King James version, but I find nothing overly controversial OR outrightly unBiblical. Why discourage people? Really.... And who is to say that scientifically speaking- positive energy doesn't attract other positive energy? That MAY be a scientific truth, it MAY not ( I don't know so I can't say), either way it doesn't matter because not all scientific truths are covered in the Bible, but that doesn't make them bad or even, what were your words, "hippie?" PLEEEZZZZEEEE. Let's see. Is gravity covered in the Bible? Or is gravity also hippie-like? Do you see what I mean. Why do you have to blast positive, encouraging, posts because their wording differs from yours a bit? Encourage the positive, take what you don't agree with a grain of salt. Maybe you will attract some positive energy in the process :)
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RE: How to save a Christian marriage - 6/29/2009 5:36:11 PM
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dboe
Posts: 130
Joined: 1/19/2009
Status: offline
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And welcome Chinese Christian, I'm glad you are here!!!!!!
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