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calling home? - 6/24/2009 5:09:48 PM
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his_chosen
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Ds1 is 16yo and doing 3-week, 1500mile bicycle tour. This is his first year, nephew's third. When he left on Saturday, I told him that he was on vacation. If he choose to call or write, that was up to him. I'd love to hear from him but I certainly never expected it. I remember back when I was a kid at camp and feeling obligated to write home. I don't want to do that to my kids.
My mother called today. Nephew has called (both my sister and my mother) at least once every day. She thought it odd that ds1 hadn't called. At the send off I did hear many parents telling their kids to call home. There's a message board, and several messages are requesting kids to call. Ds1 does have pre-paid cell phone. We got it mostly because training for this ride he rodo solo alot and we wanted him to be able to call in the event of an emergency.
Does it make me a bad mom for not expecting ds1 to call?
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You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
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RE: calling home? - 6/24/2009 6:05:06 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
Does it make me a bad mom for not expecting ds1 to call?
No.
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Wizard's rule #1 .People can be stupid and willfully deceived (that's from the book, not the show)..slightly edited for CW
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RE: calling home? - 6/24/2009 6:13:25 PM
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bolt.
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I think your son is reveling in the lack of expectations, and thanking God for his totally cool mommy every evening while his buddies are lining up at the pay phone, or sitting in corners with cells.
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RE: calling home? - 6/24/2009 6:19:32 PM
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kohls356
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My 16 year old was at cheer camp last week and she text me a few times and I think called once. She was gone for 4 days. She left the day after she got back for youth camp and she didn't call or text but a couple of times. If you are a bad mom then I am too.
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RE: calling home? - 6/24/2009 7:53:59 PM
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GroupW
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From: Up in the hills of Colorado (very BIG hills...)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: his_chosen
Does it make me a bad mom for not expecting ds1 to call?
Could just be a sign of a healthy and growing independence. You're the best one to judge. What do YOU think?
_____________________________
“For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, elegant and wrong.” -H.L. Mencken
"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." -Bertrand Russell
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RE: calling home? - 6/24/2009 8:27:35 PM
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his_chosen
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No, I don't think he needs to call home. He's there with a group of kids. He should be making friends and talking about their adventures with them. The organizers post photos when they get a chance. The photos I've seen, ds1 looks like he's having fun. And I can tell that it's HOT! Ds1 has a camera. I cna't wait to see his photos and hear his stories--when he gets home! He's 16yo. In two years, he'll be off to college. I certainly didn't call my mother every day when I went to college!
Now, if he WANTS to call and check in, that's great. Saturday's send off was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. Camp is one thing. It's for a couple days, very few risks involved. But, now, he's bicycling 1500miles. One day they had 7 accidents. So far no serious injuries. There's always that risk. But, this is a great adventure for him. A chance for him to grow up.
_____________________________
You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
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RE: calling home? - 6/24/2009 8:32:27 PM
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GroupW
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Sounds to me like he's just showing a bit of the same independent streak that I see in your post then. A bit of a reflection of your own personality perhaps?
_____________________________
“For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, elegant and wrong.” -H.L. Mencken
"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." -Bertrand Russell
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RE: calling home? - 6/25/2009 10:47:08 AM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1653
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From: an ignoble beginning
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quote:
ORIGINAL: his_chosen
Ds1 is 16yo and doing 3-week, 1500mile bicycle tour. This is his first year, nephew's third. When he left on Saturday, I told him that he was on vacation. If he choose to call or write, that was up to him. I'd love to hear from him but I certainly never expected it. I remember back when I was a kid at camp and feeling obligated to write home. I don't want to do that to my kids.
My mother called today. Nephew has called (both my sister and my mother) at least once every day. She thought it odd that ds1 hadn't called. At the send off I did hear many parents telling their kids to call home. There's a message board, and several messages are requesting kids to call. Ds1 does have pre-paid cell phone. We got it mostly because training for this ride he rodo solo alot and we wanted him to be able to call in the event of an emergency.
Does it make me a bad mom for not expecting ds1 to call?
No...I think it makes you a realistic mom. Some kids need to call..some don't. You left it up to him to do what HE needed....knowing that if he was in real trouble he would call.
I have one child who would call often if she could afford it (but she is good at managing her funds and since she pays for her own minutes....manages those too)....but for 5 min. convos. My other child who is old enough to be away from us for extended periods of time could get away with never calling (or at least almost never).
The only thing I have ever expected of them was, if they were traveling without us somewhere, to let us know when they go there (which does NOT apply to your son's bicycle tour!)....and then it is up to them.
sometimes we hear from them after that first call..and sometimes the next call we get is "we're on our way home...should be there in X hours...."
When my oldest was in England last year...we got 2 calls from her in 21 days. We got one call from the group leader to let us know they were safely in England, and one to let us know they were landing at our airport here in the US......but from my kid herself (and she is the one most likely to call)...2 calls. 5 minutes each.
It was enough.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: calling home? - 6/25/2009 5:13:16 PM
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cynthia
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You are not a bad mom. You are a brave mom. If that were my daughter, who is 15, I would be a wreck wondering if she were okay. That is not a good thing. Just because some of us mothers would be upset or wanting phone calls doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. He has the ability to call you. He knows that you are available to him. I hope he knows what an amazing mother you are and appreciates you letting him spread his wings.
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My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: calling home? - 6/25/2009 9:31:34 PM
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zoebob
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My dd1 is 13 and doing a week long missions trip starting on Sunday. Now this is in our city but they aren't coming home and aren't allowed to bring cell phones. The adults all have cell phones so we can reach them (or them us) in an emergency. We do a 3 yr cycle and next year they will be in the states but not in our state and I don't expect any phone calls. She will be fine.
If DD2 were to go next year I'm not sure how she would do without calling home for a week. Maybe since she would have friends there she would be OK. She is turning 11 next week.
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L-R: DD1, Ellies DS2, DD2, Ellies DS1
L-R: Ellies DD1, Ellies DD2, DS, Ellies DS3
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RE: calling home? - 6/26/2009 8:44:56 AM
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his_chosen
Posts: 1303
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Thanks all! Please don't think that I'm cold hearted and am not concerned. I do worry!!! The organizers usually post photos every day. So, I'd go through all the photos, see ds1 smiling, and know that all was good with the world. For whatever reason they aren't going to post photos until after the weekend. ACK!!! But, I know that if anything were to happen, they would call.
When I was a kid, we didn't have cell phones. At camp, there was one phone for emergency only. Noone was calling home. I guess I don't understand why now in the age of cell phones parents expect their kids to call home.
_____________________________
You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
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RE: calling home? - 6/26/2009 10:37:06 AM
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stellaluna
Posts: 4173
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quote:
ORIGINAL: his_chosen
When I was a kid, we didn't have cell phones. At camp, there was one phone for emergency only. Noone was calling home. I guess I don't understand why now in the age of cell phones parents expect their kids to call home.
Same here. It's frankly bizarre to me.
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He'll be doing the same thing this summer in a couple of weeks. He's looking forward to it, and I'm making sure to send a tad bit more funds for food! 
If you were cold hearted and unconcerned you would not have posted this thread!
