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RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? - 7/13/2009 7:30:33 PM
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draexo
Posts: 121
Joined: 1/26/2007
From: Saratoga County, New York
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: laura...
quote:
ORIGINAL: myka
quote:
In my opinion, this is the problem: people think, "I pay my offering, and that's a lot of money. Therefore, I pay for this stuff, and I can have my share."
No, you can't!
When you contribute to a cause, that money belongs to that cause. It is up to the church, then, to use its resources wisely. If you don't trust the church to do that, why are you giving them money? Find some other place, then, that you can trust.
I think that this is a serious problem of a spiritual nature that should be addressed by the leadership of a church. I completely agree with you that the church is the church and any money/other support that is given to the church is no longer under the control of the giver.
So why is the attitude allowed to continue and not addressed?
I think that is an incorrect generalization. In my opinion, the members of the church are the church. Their giving makes it possible for the work of the church to occur. Marriage ceremonies are an expected part of that work otherwise ministers wouldn't be authorized to administer the rites of marriage. It is perfectly reasonable for members of a particular congregation to expect to be able to hold their wedding ceremony in the church building that they attend and support and have their pastor administer the rites without charge.
I can understand charging for additional expenses incurred by such an event for tech support and janitorial services. If there are other abnormal expenses related to a wedding incurred by the use of the building, then itemize them and charge the appropriate amount but for just the use of the building members shouldn't be charged.
If a church regularly has problems with damages then perhaps a couple can be charged a deposit for the event. If no damage occurs then the full deposit is returned. If damage does occur then the cost can be deducted from the deposit and the remainder returned. If there is excessive maintenance costs those too can be deducted from the deposit.
Ditto! At last someone sees reason
_____________________________
The truth will set you free!
TRUTH
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RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? - 7/13/2009 8:17:53 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2363
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: The land of confusion
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: draexo
quote:
ORIGINAL: laura...
quote:
ORIGINAL: myka
quote:
In my opinion, this is the problem: people think, "I pay my offering, and that's a lot of money. Therefore, I pay for this stuff, and I can have my share."
No, you can't!
When you contribute to a cause, that money belongs to that cause. It is up to the church, then, to use its resources wisely. If you don't trust the church to do that, why are you giving them money? Find some other place, then, that you can trust.
I think that this is a serious problem of a spiritual nature that should be addressed by the leadership of a church. I completely agree with you that the church is the church and any money/other support that is given to the church is no longer under the control of the giver.
So why is the attitude allowed to continue and not addressed?
I think that is an incorrect generalization. In my opinion, the members of the church are the church. Their giving makes it possible for the work of the church to occur. Marriage ceremonies are an expected part of that work otherwise ministers wouldn't be authorized to administer the rites of marriage. It is perfectly reasonable for members of a particular congregation to expect to be able to hold their wedding ceremony in the church building that they attend and support and have their pastor administer the rites without charge.
I can understand charging for additional expenses incurred by such an event for tech support and janitorial services. If there are other abnormal expenses related to a wedding incurred by the use of the building, then itemize them and charge the appropriate amount but for just the use of the building members shouldn't be charged.
If a church regularly has problems with damages then perhaps a couple can be charged a deposit for the event. If no damage occurs then the full deposit is returned. If damage does occur then the cost can be deducted from the deposit and the remainder returned. If there is excessive maintenance costs those too can be deducted from the deposit.
Ditto! At last someone sees reason
But how long do people have to be members? How do you gauge their commitment to the church? This has been addressed similarly by someone else. But I have seen people join the church and faithfully attend before their wedding and then promptly disappear after the wedding never to be seen in church again. I can only guess that was in the hope of getting some sort of discount for the wedding. I know it's hard to imagine people doing this but it happens.
_____________________________
Disappoints are inevitable, discouragment is a choice.
Dr. Charles Stanley.
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RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? - 7/13/2009 8:42:17 PM
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laura...
Posts: 3278
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
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quote:
But how long do people have to be members? How do you gauge their commitment to the church? This has been addressed similarly by someone else. But I have seen people join the church and faithfully attend before their wedding and then promptly disappear after the wedding never to be seen in church again. I can only guess that was in the hope of getting some sort of discount for the wedding. I know it's hard to imagine people doing this but it happens.
Of course people do that. Just because some abuse the privilege doesn't mean the privilege should be eliminated. If a church sets requirements in place for membership that will reduce the number of such abuses. It's reasonable for a congregation to extend the privilege of membership only to those who are christians, complete a membership class, attend regularly and volunteer their time. In my church those who want to be members must be approved by the pastor and elders after attending a membership class.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? - 7/13/2009 9:04:37 PM
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draexo
Posts: 121
Joined: 1/26/2007
From: Saratoga County, New York
Status: offline
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quote:
But I have seen people join the church and faithfully attend before their wedding and then promptly disappear after the wedding never to be seen in church again. I can only guess that was in the hope of getting some sort of discount for the wedding. I know it's hard to imagine people doing this but it happens.
Well, that is THEIR problem. Not YOUR problem. That is between God and THEM. If they scam God, well, I would not want to be in their shoes.
_____________________________
The truth will set you free!
TRUTH
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RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? - 7/13/2009 11:28:17 PM
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phosadaud
Posts: 10569
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: laura...
In my opinion, the members of the church are the church. Their giving makes it possible for the work of the church to occur. Marriage ceremonies are an expected part of that work otherwise ministers wouldn't be authorized to administer the rites of marriage. It is perfectly reasonable for members of a particular congregation to expect to be able to hold their wedding ceremony in the church building that they attend and support and have their pastor administer the rites without charge.
Yes, we are the church and the church isn't a building. So who owns the building? The members? If the members own it because they "paid for it", I suppose it would be wrong to charge them to use it. I for one do not believe that I "own" my church no matter how much I gave towards the building fund to build it. As soon as I gave those funds to the Lord, I gave up any rights I might have to those funds. If the church decides it would rather spend it's money on someone who has no means and is far from Jesus and asks that I help cover the costs (which I CAN cover) for MY desires and wishes, I say Alleluia! My church has it's priorities straight. I don't NEED the nice pretty sanctuary to get married in, but the lady down the street who is far from God NEEDS Jesus. 
You see, unlike how it works in the world, I am not a member of my church because of what I can "get" from that membership. I am a member of my church because I believe in it's mission and that this is the most effective way for me to make a difference for Jesus in this lost world.
As far as my giving - it is to God and entrusted to the church for the work of the Kingdom. As far as what members can expect - everyone has a different line they would draw in that regard. Even you think there are some things folks should cover the cost for. The difference of opinion is where to draw that line. And that's OK! We don't have to all be the same and do things the same way! There are things my church blesses me with that yours may not. There are things your church may bless you with that mine may not. And sadly, no matter how a church does things, we have an enemy who will try to exploit it and our own sinful human nature which will have a bad attitude about it.
And even more sadly, in this lost and dying world, that this would be such a huge issue. 
_____________________________
~Kristin~
Did you ever notice there are no recipes for leftover chocolate?
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RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? - 7/14/2009 12:57:01 AM
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myka
Posts: 978
Status: offline
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quote:
I think that is an incorrect generalization. In my opinion, the members of the church are the church. Their giving makes it possible for the work of the church to occur. Marriage ceremonies are an expected part of that work otherwise ministers wouldn't be authorized to administer the rites of marriage.
Oh, I agree that the wedding ceremonies of church members should be celebrated as part of the ministry of the church. I have a problem with the attitude of some church members who think that the church "owes" them something or that they have a "right" to dictate to the church about whatever issue they want. Not all churches nor all church members are like that, though.
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RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? - 7/14/2009 9:11:49 AM
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laura...
Posts: 3278
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
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quote:
Yes, we are the church and the church isn't a building. So who owns the building? The members? If the members own it because they "paid for it", I suppose it would be wrong to charge them to use it. I for one do not believe that I "own" my church no matter how much I gave towards the building fund to build it.
Under the constitution of many churches and denominations, yes, the membership owns the church building and property. For most independent and non-denominational churches, the membership owns the building and property. Under the Assemblies of God, the individual church buildings and properties are owned by their congregation's membership. I believe it to be the same for all Baptist churches.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? - 7/14/2009 9:25:49 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4926
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
Status: offline
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quote:
Under the Assemblies of God, the individual church buildings and properties are owned by their congregation's membership.
Are you sure about that? I don't think that's correct, actually.
_____________________________
"A faith that can be destroyed by suffering is not faith."--Richard Wurmbrand
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RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? - 7/14/2009 10:36:05 AM
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laura...
Posts: 3278
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
Under the Assemblies of God, the individual church buildings and properties are owned by their congregation's membership.
Are you sure about that? I don't think that's correct, actually.
It was true of all the AoG churches I've attended.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? - 7/14/2009 10:59:56 AM
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laura...
Posts: 3278
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: laura...
quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
Under the Assemblies of God, the individual church buildings and properties are owned by their congregation's membership.
Are you sure about that? I don't think that's correct, actually.
It was true of all the AoG churches I've attended.
Here is a paragraph from the AoG's recommended Bylaws for Local Assemblies:
quote:
Section 1. Title
All property of the assembly shall be deeded to the assembly and held in its name or, if
required by law, to trustees acting on behalf of the assembly and their successors in office.
Should the assembly choose to do so, it may request the _________ District Council of the
Assemblies of God to act as its trustee to hold title.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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