Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (Full Version)

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Eliana -> Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/25/2009 10:54:04 PM)

This issue came up on a wedding thread in the women's folder. It was mentioned that some people have had to pay upwards of $1000 to hire their church sanctuary for their weddings, and some pastors have charged an additional $500 to officiate.

For those of you who are pastors or in church leadership, do you charge people to use the church and/or to marry them? Do you think that it's a good practise?

Edited to add: Those who aren't in church leadership are free to air their opinions on this, too.



DoveMinistries -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/25/2009 11:11:36 PM)

The Charge for the Church is on a facility use bases. Lights, Cleaning etc. The charge for Pastor should be as an offering. There should be no set fee to Officate, but the offering should cover any out of pocket exspence of the Pastor. However all Pastor's and Churches may do as they wish. Some Pastor's have Marriage Ministires where that is all they do, and have set fee's. Hope this answers your question.

R Dove



bolt. -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/25/2009 11:40:05 PM)

I agree that it's fair enough to pay a reasonable facility rental fee, similar to what a community hall would charge -- to cover expenses and contribute to maintenance/upkeep. I'm not sure what I consider 'reasonable' -- some Churches are quite large and lavish, while others are a box with pews, some are historic sites.

Many Churches charge such a 'rental' to non-members, but give members access for free, but I could see how that could get sticky fast, so I grasp the idea of everybody paying.

Pastors may also charge, but I would hope they too would keep it reasonable, like an average hourly rate for a professional with a degree... but if you were to include the rehearsal, and perhaps some mandatory counseling hours, I could see that getting up there too.

Again there is the principle of a member of his 'flock' being entitled to this extra personalized service twice in their lives (1 wedding, 1 funeral, no charge) since those two things are within the expectations of most people's lifespan, and he is their pastor... But that doesn't mean it takes no time/effort either.

And some people would need to hire a pastor previously unconnected to them to do these things -- and there is not really a reason that ministers should just do this for the general public for free... And then you get into the idea that people can 'join' the Church to get a deal on their wedding. Sticky. I see both sides.



pruned -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/25/2009 11:53:06 PM)

Our church collects all the fees upfront. We found from experience that if we didn't actually charge a couple an honorarium for the pastor or musician, the couple didn't pay them anything. Most of the weddings in our church are for people who need a wedding chapel; they don't have a relationship with our church. So the pastor has just worked about 10 hours (counseling, rehearsal, wedding, reception) for this couple he does not know and will not have contact with again, with not even a thank you.

Depending on the size of the facility, a large fee is not inappropriate. Our church has been struggling for some time with being used as a wedding chapel. Thus, when fees are high, this is indicative that people can use the facility, but they will pay for it. It's a "discouragement" fee. [&:]

From the perspective of the ministry of a church, weddings are a problem because...
~~They control the church calendar and therefore the church activities. For us this happens occasionally. We can't schedule something when we want to because a couple not associated with our church paid to hold their wedding at our church.

~~Even though we clearly state all candles (including dripless) will have plastic under them, this is difficult to enforce with the wedding party. Cleaning damage from candle wax is time consuming. When fabrics are burned or varnished pews are scarred from affixing pew bows, the damage is costly.

~~I realize that most of the people on these forums are probably born and raised in the church. But when they're not "church people" it is difficult to retain good will in the community all the while telling them they cannot use their favorite country song for their wedding. We don't allow "I love you more than my beer" type songs in our sanctuary. For the person enforcing this policy, there is always negative feedback.

~~Being good neighbors. Our church is in a neighborhood. Weddings bring lots of cars which aren't used to parking in the right places. There's also lots of them at times other than our normal meeting times. More traffic, more noise.

~~Legal issues. There is growing conversation about who a church can/will allow to be married in their facility and the connotations of consequences if they turn down certain couples.

Every congregation is different and would have various rules for building use and pastor / officiant honorariums.



JHerr -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/26/2009 12:30:54 AM)

I volunteer in the office at my church, and just had someone ask me questions about this yesterday :D

We do not perform weddings at our church. I am not sure why, haven't asked. Any of our 3 pastors are willing to do it, given availability. They charge $350. This is to cover the pay for our pastors time away from the church. (counseling sessions, our pastors usually pay for a meal at each session, etc etc)

I don't think a reasonable amount is wrong.



Peloton -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/26/2009 1:39:27 AM)

Our church is a box. My son wanted to be married at First Pres because it looked like a real church, not a tilt up or steel building. They had to present their music to their head wedding person. I had to provide my ordination papers so they knew who I was. We had to abide by the rules they set down and paid their fees. The wedding was wonderful. I figure that if you're going on their turf, you got to follow their rules. If you don't like it, go elsewhere. Pastors should have their expenses covered and a dead president to boot(a couple of Grants are nice). After all, in this state (that of confusion right now), we are responsible to get that license signed by those concerned and get it mailed off or the wedding isn't recorded. Most weddings I have performed in our church, for our people are gratis, you just have to feed me. That's worth a lot.

As far as weddings are concerned, Conservative Jewish weddings are a really fun and the food is fantastic. What a celebration!



rcjames -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/26/2009 9:59:00 AM)

No charge for the sanctuary or the fellowship hall.

And I never charge for any of my service.

Thanks
RC



iratenate -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/26/2009 10:01:47 AM)

We rarely allow anyone outside of our own church family to use our facilities for a wedding. When those inside our church family use it, we only charge a few deposits for things like cleaning. Our church runs on volunteers, and if you don't want to clean up after your own big event, you'll need to pay somebody else to come in late Saturday night and do it for you.

Our pastors don't charge for doing the weddings of those inside our church family, but it sure is nice to receive a monetary gift. Neither do our pastors perform wedding for people they don't know.

Nate



mvic -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/26/2009 2:00:47 PM)

Our church charges for the church hall if you wish to hold the reception there after the wedding.

But we do not charge for the church or the wedding service or the priest to officiate. Most people make a donation to the church, and also a donation to the organist.

There is no set amount for the donations. Give as much or as little as you can afford.

Couples marrying in our church have to attend a course of study (normally once a week over a period of 2-3 months) before they are married. No charge is made for such attendance.



Bro_Shane -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/26/2009 2:08:45 PM)

Those who are members have use of the sanctuary at no charge for weddings. Those who are not must first be given permission and then pay to use it. I do not charge to officiate any service I choose to do.



kernsfamily -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/26/2009 2:20:30 PM)

Our church, taking into consideration the upkeep and maintainance (not to mention what you get)....does charge fees for most weddings (there are wedding options, in which you can avoid the "fees")

But, when looking at comparable facilities in the area to hold a wedding, having it at the church is a bargain.

To have it in the main "worship center" (seating capacity: 7,000....is $1800).
Though, MOST weddings are held in the much smaller chapel (seating for 550), for $1200.
(Those fees are prices for church members....non-member pricing is considerably more)

And, it goes down from there....all the way down to having the wedding in a smaller venue on site, for no charge. OR, even down at the gazebo at our lake onsite...for only $100.

The fees cover:
* Wedding coordinator to facilitate the wedding rehearsal and wedding ceremony
* Wedding accessories (candelabras, candles, etc.)
* Facilities for the wedding
* Facilities for the rehearsal
* Lighting and sound technician
* Facilities personnel
* Utilities
* Administrative costs
Having a church minister officiate is not "charged" at all....but, of course, etiquette does come into play....and, the couple does typically pay an "honorarium"....how much? I am sure that varies....

AND....I might add that, as with everything, I am sure the church will be willing to work within someone's budget...and, be VERY flexible in pricing. Again, the pricing structure the church has (to cover facility and personnel use), is VERY VERY reasonable....

AND, most importantly:
All couples are expected to participate in Before You Say I Do, a course designed for engaged couples and those considering marriage. Each session consists of seven topical studies relating to building a biblical Christ-centered marriage.



buckifn -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/27/2009 5:57:23 PM)

All of our fees are in writing and it is mandatory a custodian also be paid if the fellowship hall is used.



phosadaud -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/27/2009 8:05:21 PM)

We charge based on what it will cost us, the church, to meet the desires of the couple. We are a large church and there are many weddings. So, depending on what rooms they wish to use, what supplies we will need to supply, how much time the custodial staff will need to spend cleaning up (I think we've only had ONE person ever really clean up who said they would [&:]), the time the church office staff work on the wedding, small honorariums for a church wedding coordinator (who puts in many, many hours for very little $), a small honorarium for the officiate, any kitchen crews if there is a reception, liability, etc. There is also a small honorarium for a sound technician, powerpoint tech, etc depending on what the couple wants (we have a very complex sound system in our main sanctuary and can't have our sound guys spending hours and hours trying to "put stuff" back so we can run sound in Sunday morning). So, if it's a very small, simple wedding, the cost will be small. Some we will do for free if the couple really doesn't have the money and are active in the church. Others may spend quite a bit of money for a large and elaborate wedding.

And of course, those who are not members (and "approved") are charged more - partly to discourage this as we have a beautiful facility and everyone and their sister wants to be wed here...

I've always thought it was fair. Some folks complain but they are usually (not always) the folks who volunteer little, tithe even less and expect everyone to cater to them because they are "entitled"... [8D] Most folks have no problem paying the fees as they know it's responsible to pay your own expenses and not expect others to pick up the tab for you.



ta_mosquito -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/28/2009 5:15:52 PM)

Our use of the sanctuary was free. The fellowship hall was free. The pastor was free. All this is for members.

We did give an honorarium to the pastor and to the church custodians.



Mollymouser -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/28/2009 11:08:55 PM)

We were married at our home church, and had the reception offsite.

To use the Sanctuary ... $1000
Wedding Coordinator ... $500 (mandatory ... I'm still not sure what she did)
Pastor .... $500 (mandatory ... and he is paid $150,000 per year)
Organist ... $250



seagullplayer -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/29/2009 8:41:36 AM)

No charge for Church or Fellowship Hall. (We do ask you to clean up after yourself)

I don't charge for my service.

Same goes for funeral services for that matter...



anne-girl -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/29/2009 11:12:20 AM)

We were asked to pay for the custodian, I think; whether to provide an honorarium for the pastors was up to us (we did of course). I think the custodial fee was reasonable, since the pastors can choose to work for free but it's not really fair to ask a part-time custodian to do that (especially since we were using the sanctuary and the large hall). Because we were members the church made it easy for us; they were willing to clear the calendar if anything else was rented for our preferred day.

By contrast, for a funeral service, our pastor told us that we'd better not think of giving him an honorarium and that if we did, he'd give it back.



SteelCurtain -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/29/2009 11:41:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Harvie

We were married at our home church, and had the reception offsite.

To use the Sanctuary ... $1000
Wedding Coordinator ... $500 (mandatory ... I'm still not sure what she did)
Pastor .... $500 (mandatory ... and he is paid $150,000 per year)
Organist ... $250



Your pastor makes 150k??? Holy Cow!

Waaaaay too much cost involved in all of this. Church and fellowship all should be FREE to all current/active members. A "donation" can be suggested to the pastor but not enforced.



zoebob -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/29/2009 11:50:24 AM)

I agree. A church is to be a family. Would you charge family if the mom got sick and needed a meal for her family? I don't believe my church charges for these things. I doubt it. Our janitors are volunteer anyway.

Providing the "labor" for a wedding is just something a church should do for it's members. Just like a funeral. We have a ladies' committee that gets together food for funerals.



gcsmithjr -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/29/2009 12:44:09 PM)

quote:

Providing the "labor" for a wedding is just something a church should do for it's members. Just like a funeral. We have a ladies' committee that gets together food for funerals.

That may work in smaller churches but, in larger churches like mine we have over 100 weddings a year so the only reasonable solution is to pay people to set up for, and clean up after, weddings. Typically that means our operations team has to work late on Saturday nights to get the church ready for Sunday services.

We charge for the use of the facility (not just for weddings but for any non-church sponsored special event) to cover the costs of set up, use of the facility (someone has to be there to unlock doors, etc.) and clean up.

None of the pastors charge for doing weddings.



rcjames -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/29/2009 1:03:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gcsmithjr

quote:

Providing the "labor" for a wedding is just something a church should do for it's members. Just like a funeral. We have a ladies' committee that gets together food for funerals.

That may work in smaller churches but, in larger churches like mine we have over 100 weddings a year so the only reasonable solution is to pay people to set up for, and clean up after, weddings. Typically that means our operations team has to work late on Saturday nights to get the church ready for Sunday services.

We charge for the use of the facility (not just for weddings but for any non-church sponsored special event) to cover the costs of set up, use of the facility (someone has to be there to unlock doors, etc.) and clean up.

None of the pastors charge for doing weddings.


Please explain why the cost per member of letting someone use the facilities for a wedding more in a large Chruch than in a small church.

I know that most large churches chage (and sometime charge really large fees) for the facilities, but what is the justification as opposed to the no charge of most smaller Chruches?

And why is a Pastor of a large Church justified in charging multiple hundreds or even thousands of dollars to do a wedding, when a smaller Chruch Pastor will do it as part of his ministry?

Thanks
RC



ta_mosquito -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/29/2009 1:22:10 PM)

quote:

Please explain why the cost per member of letting someone use the facilities for a wedding more in a large Chruch than in a small church.

It probably doesn't cost more per member, but it does cost more. 100 weddings a year works out to about one every other week. There's set up, tear down, and clean up involved. In a smaller church, there might be 2-3 weddings a year. It's easier to volunteer (or GET volunteers) to do the necessary work for free with fewer events going on. But every other week (and probably not spaced out that evenly)? Very few people have the time nor inclination to do that much volunteer work, on top of whatever else they're doing.



trainfan -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/29/2009 2:09:51 PM)

I used to be a part time paid church janitor. Having been on the other side I think churches should charge at least enough to pay the janitorial staff for the extra time they have to spend cleaning up regardless of whether or not the people getting married are members. If they are not members they should have to pay the full load rent and janitors fees. For members I can see waiving the rent but not the janitors fees regardless if the janitors are volunteers or not. This church had various events and programs 5 nights a week and sometimes Saturday programs as well.

The pastor of that church married a ton of people mostly non members. We usually didn't get paid nearly enough for the amount of time and hassle we had to put up with. Think about it, you want the church clean for your wedding right? And you want it clean for church services right? Then most of the place has to cleaned twice that week.

To put it bluntly there are a lot of very messy people and it doesn't matter whether or not they the attend church. In fact the while you would think that the church members would be easier to deal with……they were usually worse. We had a number of policies in place for weddings including limiting access to certain parts of the building such as the nurseries and all the classrooms but the 2 being used for changing clothes in. Church members particularly (and some non members too) assumed this didn't apply to them and wanted access to everything. This may not sound like a big deal to most people but if we allowed nursery access the toys had to be rewashed and nursery re-cleaned and no one needed to get in the other classrooms. The classrooms were all set up on Thursday for Sunday School right down to the craft supplies etc., had we allowed access to them they would all have had to be re-setup, 2 classrooms were bad enough to have to redo. The only thing that stopped the people most of the time was us being there from the minute they walked in the door although even then we had people break into the nursery using a window. I find it remarkable that people can't live without pop for an hour or 2 while they are at a wedding. Of course if they bring in their pop 25% of the time they spill it, if that happened we had to scrub the carpet. Not to mention the mess they created in the sanctuary. People would rearrange songbooks and Bibles or put things in them like used tissues (no I am not kidding) and move the fellowship folders or at least help themselves to the pens or let their kids use them for coloring books. Not to mention putting gum or what I called used candy on the floor or seats (used candy is candy that you put in your mouth and take out and put anywhere that is convenient except back in your mouth). Plus there was always a need to re-vacuum most the sanctuary anyway or at the least the aisles. Then there are the nightmares that happened in the restrooms. The worst was once someone had a hair stylist come and do their hair in the restroom. I don't mean just put it in a fancy style I mean dye and cut their hair. What a mess!!! It took weeks before the dye stains were gone off the floor and out of the sinks. Oh and I forgot there were stains on the wall that never came out. All the hallways and lobby would need to be vacuumed as well as windows rewashed.

We had 2 couples from the church thwart the rules about paying us and freeload. One by arguing with the pastor until they got their way and the other knew someone who had a key who let them in, much to our surprise as we were just finishing the cleaning for the week and they appeared. The first couple did a decent job of not making a mess although we did have to do some vacuuming. The second couple had a smaller wedding and made a huge mess that in the end involved me re-waxing and buffing the kitchen floor, only an hour project by itself not to mention they “had” to have a “small” reception at the church that involved setting up tables and chairs and a small buffet! My charitable side had run out rather quickly when I had to redo the waxing and they left every they set-up for us to take down...after all we were the janitors and we were there so we may as well do our job!! I'll tell you I was ready to kick someone’s rear! That blew any plans I had for that Saturday night.

quote:

I agree. A church is to be a family. Would you charge family if the mom got sick and needed a meal for her family? I don't believe my church charges for these things. I doubt it. Our janitors are volunteer anyway.

Providing the "labor" for a wedding is just something a church should do for it's members.


I wanted to reply to this specifically. That is correct a church is supposed to be a family and everytime when I was growing up and my mom had family over for holiday dinners the family would help with preparations and cleanup. That never happened when I was a janitor, the "family" quickly found a way to disappear.



trainfan -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/29/2009 2:28:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito

quote:

Please explain why the cost per member of letting someone use the facilities for a wedding more in a large Chruch than in a small church.

It probably doesn't cost more per member, but it does cost more. 100 weddings a year works out to about one every other week. There's set up, tear down, and clean up involved. In a smaller church, there might be 2-3 weddings a year. It's easier to volunteer (or GET volunteers) to do the necessary work for free with fewer events going on. But every other week (and probably not spaced out that evenly)? Very few people have the time nor inclination to do that much volunteer work, on top of whatever else they're doing.


That is correct. Also many large churches have lots of programs like the church I already posted about. So having a wedding can involve lots of work. We averaged about 2 weddings a weekend all spring, summer and into early fall. Sometimes this would be 1 on Friday and 1 on Saturday and sometimes it was 2 on Saturday and a time or 2 we had 3 on a Saturday.



zoebob -> RE: Churches / pastors charging $$$ for weddings? (6/29/2009 2:30:35 PM)

I guess my feeling is that the church budget should include these expenses for members if they need to pay janitors. I have noticed that large churches have lots of frivolous things in their budget. For example, when we visited my grandparents church every child gets this big goodie bad of stuff including a Christian video.

As for the family disappearing I don't the actual biological family of the bride and groom should necessarily be sticking around to clean up but there should be spiritual family that is willing to do this.



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