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GodsFurryCreatures -> Hello From A Struggling Christian (6/26/2009 12:23:48 AM)
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Hi all. *Waves*
Great to be here and I hope I can become a part of what seems like a great online christian community.
I am a struggling christian, though I am saddened to admit that. I've always went to church, then I would stop, lose sight, start back up for a while, and then stop again.
Last year I was doing great. I was born and baptized Catholic, but began going to a small Baptist church with a new friend. I fit in nicely and even became the Sunday school teacher during the summer. But I quickly learned that church was not for me, and involved a lot of shady people that were not what they seemed (much gossip and back-stabbing, something I wanted no part of). I was burned, to say the least, and once I left the church, I let God leave my sight.
But that saddens me. I have a longing to belong to Christ and to be close to him. But I am riddled with doubts that range from one thing to another. And I believe this is the devil causing these doubts, not my own thoughts, as deep down I do not want these doubts. I want to blindly follow Christ, love him with all my heart, and be close to him. It's a longing like nothing I've ever felt.
Yet I am saddened because I see people that have what I want. An undeniable, unshakable belief and love in Christ and he is in their heart and fills their entire being. I don't have that, but I long to.
I am not around many Christians... really I am around none. And I feel that if I were around more Christians, this may would help me. I think feeling alone in my Christian struggles doesn't help things.
I also think that because I have a hard time understanding the Bible, or even knowing where to begin on so many things, that it just makes it more difficult for me.
Thanks for listening. Great to be here! :)
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