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ORIGINAL: stampinlady

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How does causing a dead person's family member more grief in the midst of very new grief after someone dies . . . how is this doing everything in love and for the glory of God?

Huh? I believe there are times when we should be silent and times when we should speak up.

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ORIGINAL: stampinlady

I don't think it's wrong if it's truthful and done out of love for the family.

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ORIGINAL: stampinlady

I still don't see anything sinful about speaking the truth, even about the dead.

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ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings

Michael Jackson's friends and family needs our very earnest prayers right now.

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They don't need to be reading vitriolic comments that are completely void of any compassion towards them.

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History is history; and I'm not saying history needs to be disregarded; on the contrary. However, a message board is hardly a history book or a library.

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ORIGINAL: Qtman

Is it wrong. I don't really know.

But, as has been pointed out by several it is totally lacking in taste.

For those who think is is o.k. I have one question. What possible good does it accomplish?

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At my funeral I want the minister to minister to those left behind. I have lived my life and in doing so have preached my own funeral. What people say or do not say at that point will do me no good whatsoever. But they could cause hurt to the family. If I am or was the biggest crook and sinner in the world my family probably knew it so why remind them at this time.

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ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings

The choice isn't just between "do I lie about this person or do I speak the truth?" There's always the other option of choosing to not say anything.

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How does causing a dead person's family member more grief in the midst of very new grief after someone dies . . . how is this doing everything in love and for the glory of God?[/font]

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ORIGINAL: poetessfree


You know very well that most of us have stated that we enjoyed the earlier work of Michael Jackson.

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The whole point is respecting those that have passed. Regardless of who they are.

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But you have answered the OP's question over & over again. Of the which, you are not making any point, at all.

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ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

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And I still think that voicing my negative opinion about anyone who has died recently is, in Ps10s's words, "unspeakably tacky".

Anyone? Even people like Hitler?

In the Bible, after Pharoah and his entire army died, the Israelites sang songs about it and danced and rejoiced.

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ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings



Perhaps it would be better if I ask what you consider "being done out of love for the family" versus not. What are your parameters that you use?

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ORIGINAL: Ps103

Maybe I am just getting old, or maybe I need to start a new thread, but at exactly what point in time did we decide that everyone absolutely has to say whatever is on their minds, regardless of who it hurts, regardless of the fact that it does no earthly (or heavenly) good, and to the devil with propriety, manners and basic human decency?

I am sincerely curious about this, and it is not aimed at anyone in particular. I see it more as a societal problem.

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But I really do not think that my right to free speech supersedes everyone else's right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

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Just because I *can* say something--true, false or in some nebulous area where the absolute truth may never be known--does not mean I *have* to say something.

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Do we, as humans, Americans and most importantly, as Christians, not have a responsibility to stay away from gossip, exercise self-control and do to others what we would want done to us?

I guess I just do not understand. Enlighten me someone, please.

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ORIGINAL: Ps103

Maybe I am just getting old, or maybe I need to start a new thread, but at exactly what point in time did we decide that everyone absolutely has to say whatever is on their minds, regardless of who it hurts, regardless of the fact that it does no earthly (or heavenly) good, and to the devil with propriety, manners and basic human decency?

I am sincerely curious about this, and it is not aimed at anyone in particular. I see it more as a societal problem.

Anyone past a certain age, if their mothers were diligent, had the following words drilled into their little heads: "If you can't say something nice, don't say *anything.*"

Now, I am not saying that I was the perfect child who always did what her momma told her--as a matter of fact, at one point in my life I was accused of channeling the ghost of Dorothy Parker--but eventually it sunk in and I at least *tried* to reign in my tongue. And it is still a great effort, I sometimes slip, and I sometimes pray fervently for shut-mouth grace.

But I really do not think that my right to free speech supersedes everyone else's right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Just because I *can* say something--true, false or in some nebulous area where the absolute truth may never be known--does not mean I *have* to say something.

Do we, as humans, Americans and most importantly, as Christians, not have a responsibility to stay away from gossip, exercise self-control and do to others what we would want done to us?

I guess I just do not understand. Enlighten me someone, please.

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ORIGINAL: Ps103

Maybe I am just getting old, or maybe I need to start a new thread, but at exactly what point in time did we decide that everyone absolutely has to say whatever is on their minds, regardless of who it hurts, regardless of the fact that it does no earthly (or heavenly) good, and to the devil with propriety, manners and basic human decency?

I am sincerely curious about this, and it is not aimed at anyone in particular. I see it more as a societal problem.

Anyone past a certain age, if their mothers were diligent, had the following words drilled into their little heads: "If you can't say something nice, don't say *anything.*"

Now, I am not saying that I was the perfect child who always did what her momma told her--as a matter of fact, at one point in my life I was accused of channeling the ghost of Dorothy Parker--but eventually it sunk in and I at least *tried* to reign in my tongue. And it is still a great effort, I sometimes slip, and I sometimes pray fervently for shut-mouth grace.

But I really do not think that my right to free speech supersedes everyone else's right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Just because I *can* say something--true, false or in some nebulous area where the absolute truth may never be known--does not mean I *have* to say something.

Do we, as humans, Americans and most importantly, as Christians, not have a responsibility to stay away from gossip, exercise self-control and do to others what we would want done to us?

I guess I just do not understand. Enlighten me someone, please.

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ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

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ORIGINAL: PinkCarnations

I have no problem telling people what I think of Hitler. However, I will not talk about my negative personal thoughts on a notable figure who has only recently passed way. What purpose would it serve to hurt their family members in that way?

Do you think it a degree of evilness that makes the distinction for you, or how recently he passed away? If Hitler had passed away yesterday, would you feel it would be too early to voice criticisms of him?

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ORIGINAL: poetessfree


IMO, some people in society not only "have" to have something to say, they "need" to have something to say regarding every facet of life, regarding every living or dead person & when most of what they say is negative, it may be that they are: covering up their own inadequacies, bitterness, unhappiness, self-worth, the list goes on & on.

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I find that when those who profess Christ in this world have a tough time portraying the heart of Christ, the more they "gossip" in the guise of "telling the truth".

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Jesus would not have won souls by coldly blasting the truth in most cases: example--Jesus could have told the Samaritan woman, "look you are sleeping with too many men and are a sinner". She would have turned around and continued her way to hell. Or the stoning woman, "you are a prostitute and they are right, Moses said to stone you, turn around". But HE didn't. What a glorious testimony of grace. Jesus knew when to be angry and knew what words would lead them to repentance or just wait as the accusers trickled away. Sadly, in this world, there are waaaaaay more accusers than those who would just be silent.

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We all want to talk and condemn when all the time God is trying to get those very ones to repent from their ways but most are blind and cannot see or they would see God and cannot hear for they have blocked HIM out in order to appease their own gratification in seeing others hurt by their words and no matter what spin anyone may put on it, that is not at all like God, like Christ but of the adversary, the devil. Period.

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ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

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ORIGINAL: Ps103

Maybe I am just getting old, or maybe I need to start a new thread, but at exactly what point in time did we decide that everyone absolutely has to say whatever is on their minds, regardless of who it hurts, regardless of the fact that it does no earthly (or heavenly) good, and to the devil with propriety, manners and basic human decency?

I am sincerely curious about this, and it is not aimed at anyone in particular. I see it more as a societal problem.

Anyone past a certain age, if their mothers were diligent, had the following words drilled into their little heads: "If you can't say something nice, don't say *anything.*"

Now, I am not saying that I was the perfect child who always did what her momma told her--as a matter of fact, at one point in my life I was accused of channeling the ghost of Dorothy Parker--but eventually it sunk in and I at least *tried* to reign in my tongue. And it is still a great effort, I sometimes slip, and I sometimes pray fervently for shut-mouth grace.

But I really do not think that my right to free speech supersedes everyone else's right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Just because I *can* say something--true, false or in some nebulous area where the absolute truth may never be known--does not mean I *have* to say something.

Do we, as humans, Americans and most importantly, as Christians, not have a responsibility to stay away from gossip, exercise self-control and do to others what we would want done to us?

I guess I just do not understand. Enlighten me someone, please.

I agree. I don't understand it. I was thinking of that simple rule of common decency this morning when I posted.

This reminds me of someone saying they like some type of food (I don't know...pork rinds or something) and someone else chimes in with "EW! How can you stand to eat that? It's so bad for you! Gross!"

Is it true? Yeah.

Is there any reason to say it? No.

Common decency, like common sense, isn't.

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ORIGINAL: Qtman


I really wish you and PS103 would quit making posts like this. I get in enough trouble apparently being feminist-minded, and crawling to and agreeing with women on here with out the two of you making posts that in all good conscience I have to agree with.

BTW Kate the old saying you used :if you can't say something nice don't say anything" has changed through the years and is now "If you can't say anything nice about someone, sit next to me.

Frankly that is the attitude I see far to often here. Which by the way accounts for my shrinking post count. I refuse to be a part of that.

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ORIGINAL: Ps103

Maybe I am just getting old, or maybe I need to start a new thread, but at exactly what point in time did we decide that everyone absolutely has to say whatever is on their minds, regardless of who it hurts, regardless of the fact that it does no earthly (or heavenly) good, and to the devil with propriety, manners and basic human decency?

I am sincerely curious about this, and it is not aimed at anyone in particular. I see it more as a societal problem.

Anyone past a certain age, if their mothers were diligent, had the following words drilled into their little heads: "If you can't say something nice, don't say *anything.*"

Now, I am not saying that I was the perfect child who always did what her momma told her--as a matter of fact, at one point in my life I was accused of channeling the ghost of Dorothy Parker--but eventually it sunk in and I at least *tried* to reign in my tongue. And it is still a great effort, I sometimes slip, and I sometimes pray fervently for shut-mouth grace.

But I really do not think that my right to free speech supersedes everyone else's right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Just because I *can* say something--true, false or in some nebulous area where the absolute truth may never be known--does not mean I *have* to say something.

Do we, as humans, Americans and most importantly, as Christians, not have a responsibility to stay away from gossip, exercise self-control and do to others what we would want done to us?

I guess I just do not understand. Enlighten me someone, please.

Can a mod star her own post?

Kate, thank you; most excellent words of wisdom, compassion and grace.

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Sometime the harshest words and actions are used and necessary n order to bring about repentance... In fact, if the circumstances call for it, one is to be removed from fellowship to bring about repentance... Anyone who thinks that people are always dealt with a nice tap on the shoulder are living in a fantasy world...

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ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

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ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

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ORIGINAL: PinkCarnations

I have no problem telling people what I think of Hitler. However, I will not talk about my negative personal thoughts on a notable figure who has only recently passed way. What purpose would it serve to hurt their family members in that way?

Do you think it a degree of evilness that makes the distinction for you, or how recently he passed away? If Hitler had passed away yesterday, would you feel it would be too early to voice criticisms of him?

I think it's to do with whether there are members of present company (even if it's on a message board) who cared about the person, perhaps prayed for them, appreciated whatever talents or gifts they had, "grew up with them" so to speak, etc. To speak ill of something or someone that another person liked or appreciated is, again, really tacky and lacking in tact.

If you like something or someone and I don't, regardless of my reasons, it would be churlish of me to express my negative thoughts.

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ORIGINAL: SovereignIsHe

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ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

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ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

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ORIGINAL: PinkCarnations

I have no problem telling people what I think of Hitler. However, I will not talk about my negative personal thoughts on a notable figure who has only recently passed way. What purpose would it serve to hurt their family members in that way?

Do you think it a degree of evilness that makes the distinction for you, or how recently he passed away? If Hitler had passed away yesterday, would you feel it would be too early to voice criticisms of him?

I think it's to do with whether there are members of present company (even if it's on a message board) who cared about the person, perhaps prayed for them, appreciated whatever talents or gifts they had, "grew up with them" so to speak, etc. To speak ill of something or someone that another person liked or appreciated is, again, really tacky and lacking in tact.

If you like something or someone and I don't, regardless of my reasons, it would be churlish of me to express my negative thoughts.

So we should all simply agree with each other? Never express a thought that might offend, or that is and or can be seen as negative? You just declared the vasts majority of post in this form as being tactless, since many counter what another person believes in and or likes...

So if a person likes porn and says it leads to a better life for all it's churlish of you to express your negative thoughts of it?

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Never express a thought that might offend, or that is and or can be seen as negative?

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ORIGINAL: poetessfree


When I want Bible study, I seek my Teacher but thanks for trying anyway

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And in other instances still, when repentance is not the order of the day, but comfort & understanding, what purpose do you think harsh, cold, and callous words to someone grieving or are sad, would serve?