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Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 7:43:14 PM
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ChocolateHoney
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I'm confused about dating as a Christian. Can a Christian be dating several men at the same time? I know someone who is, but in my mind, even if the men apparently all have potential, why date several guys at the same time? Doesn't sound right to me. I have been brought up to think you either focus on one at a time, not several or else, you're using someone along the way, right? Or are you? I'm confused.
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 7:49:55 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChocolateHoney
I'm confused about dating as a Christian. Can a Christian be dating several men at the same time? I know someone who is, but in my mind, even if the men apparently all have potential, why date several guys at the same time? Doesn't sound right to me. I have been brought up to think you either focus on one at a time, not several or else, you're using someone along the way, right? Or are you? I'm confused.
I agree, one person at a time. We need to devote our attention on just 1 so we can really get to know them. Or else, what's the point.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
http://followtheleader-mat1624.blogspot.com/
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 8:00:46 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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My personal preference is to only date one man at a time.
However, dating one man at at time (or not) is just that - a personal preference. I don't believe there is a moral doctrine that espouses that a Christian can only date one person at a time; it may be a dogma that someone wants to pass off as being "the right thing to do" but I don't agree with that mindset.
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 8:04:40 PM
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Prairiehiker
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There's a few men here (and women as well) who believe in that style of dating. I am not one of them. Respect is one of the most important of relationships, and if you're showing that lack of respect to someone you're dating, then, what do you have to build on. Do you really respect someone whom you're dating and getting to know and sharing your heart with, and at the same time, doing to same to a few other women (or men). I can see it being ok if a guy sets up a date with 3 people he's never dated before in one week (like what they do online), because that's just the initial getting to know you stage, but if after 3 months, the guy is still dating the same 3 people with no intention of narrowing down his choice, I'd say the guy is just playing...or they're not dating but just being friends and enjoying the company of women with no emotional investment (see the post about not dating anyone unless they're going to marry them.
_____________________________
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and
Lead me in the way everlasting Psalm 139:22-24
-------------------------------------
Go Steelers!!!
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 8:06:39 PM
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ChocolateHoney
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How could multiple dating partners be in any way right? To me it's dangling the guys and making your life confusing. Also, if you have several dating partners, how fair is it to each individual who wants to get to know you better. I know it saves you from giving your heart very easily, but I can't see how it's right as a Christian.
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 8:14:34 PM
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slushie
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It's not respectful of the guys you're dating. It sort of gives me the feeling that the person who does this is being extremely casual and doesn't really care about a relationship as long as they're having fun. But that is only my opinion. Plus extra people are backups just in case this doesn't work. Just in case doesn't do much for me though.
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Testify to Love
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 8:18:27 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChocolateHoney
How could multiple dating partners be in any way right? To me it's dangling the guys and making your life confusing. Also, if you have several dating partners, how fair is it to each individual who wants to get to know you better. I know it saves you from giving your heart very easily, but I can't see how it's right as a Christian.
Usually if a woman (or man) is dating multiple people, then some, if not all, of those people are going to be dating multiple people as well. Usually.
And most likely, if a man (or woman) only dates one person at a time, THAT is going to come up as a topic in the beginning of the relationship (if that person has strong feelings about it); and so, if there is a "multiple date" paired up with a "single dater, the "single dater" will most likely bow out of that relationship. Most likely.
Thus, if both people are dating multiple people, then they both are going to be ok with that and all the nuances that go with multiple dating.
It definitely isn't my preference nor my style . . . but dating multiple people at the same time is not, in and of itself, a "non-Christian" thing to do . . . it is simply a preference.
I know Christians who have dated more than one person at a time. And because of who they are (at their core), their relationships did not dishonor God, themselves nor the people they were dating.
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 8:32:13 PM
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ChocolateHoney
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But what makes people date multiple partners at the same time? As you said, it's probably on a casual basis, but from a past experience with a guy who was not a Christian -he was casually dating a girl for years and probably other girls were in there too (because I know that she was having 'fun' with other guys while dating him). When he met me, I didn't know where I stood, but from the sounds of it, he was not willing to put in as much effort as for one, I wouldn't be sleeping with him. Other girls did. In my heart, how can anyone really love or truly respect ANYONE if they are sleeping with others all along and casually dating on and off. Anyway, that's me going along a judgmental route which I am going to stop. From what I gather re my friends' dating relationships, it seems as if she's using one or two and that something I believe can come easy when dating multiple people...anyway, it's delicate.
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 8:32:54 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slushie
It's not respectful of the guys you're dating. It sort of gives me the feeling that the person who does this is being extremely casual and doesn't really care about a relationship as long as they're having fun. But that is only my opinion. Plus extra people are backups just in case this doesn't work. Just in case doesn't do much for me though.
I agree with you slushie. I know of guys, though they weren't Christian who had back ups, just in case.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
http://followtheleader-mat1624.blogspot.com/
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 8:38:05 PM
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ChocolateHoney
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The concept of back ups...isn't that selfish already? Multiples seems to be all about power and control. Why would anyone want to use someone as a back up. That's disrespectful right there.
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 8:42:50 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
Posts: 1263
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChocolateHoney
The concept of back ups...isn't that selfish already? Multiples seems to be all about power and control. Why would anyone want to use someone as a back up. That's disrespectful right there.
I agree. It is all about control and all about ones self.
Again, this can't be said for everybody. This is just my opinion, but we should take the time to get to know one person at a time if we are looking for something serious. That in itself may be the problem. Maybe those who date more than one, just want to have fun, and don't want anything serious. That seems pretty normal these days. I just wouldn't expect that out of a Christian. But my faith is still generally new and don't know all that many Christians, so my input is limited.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
http://followtheleader-mat1624.blogspot.com/
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 8:52:18 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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Multiple-dating is not always about power and control.
And it doesn't make sense to compare the behavior of non-Christians to the behavior of Christians. Both sets of people are operating under completely different standards. Your OP specifically asked about Christians dating multiple partners. If a person, deep-down, is a Christian, their behavior is going to speak of such; i.e., they won't be having pre-marital sex, they won't be disrespectful to their dates, they won't lie to them, etc., etc.
Again, there's nothing inherently wrong or immoral with someone dating multiple people. It's how they handle that and what they do within that relationship that then defines if the person's behavior is immoral or unChristian.
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 9:22:24 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
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Again, from my point of view, depending on how far into a relationship goes, if there is multiple dating going on, I feel it is disrespectful. If it is in the beginning like I think prairie said, and a feeling out phase of dating, I can understand this. But if you are 4-5 dates, weeks, or months into relationships, and you are still dating multiple people, there is something wrong with that.
This of course, is my humble opinion. It may be wrong, but it is how I see it.
Doing things like this lead to people getting feelings hurt.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
http://followtheleader-mat1624.blogspot.com/
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 9:38:33 PM
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Prairiehiker
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When it becomes a recreation, and a pattern for someone, then it's sinful. I had a lot of friends who were into casual dating, meaning, dating multiple people at the same time without putting any emotional investment in developing the relationship. And I can tell you that they were looking for someone better to come along that's why they were dating very casually.
Honey, if you don't believe in multiple dating, you have to say that up front...you know, before you agree to go on a second or third date with someone. We women generallly don't invest a lot of time dating a man unless we're interested in developing something. You have to guard yourself from men who do casual or multiple dating just for something to do, and with no intention of really getting to know you on a deeper level. Just look at the thread "don't date anyone....", and you'll see some of the posts by men who admits to "dating" women they're not romantically interested in. For them, dating means just spending time with someone of the opposite sex. What's confusing about them is that you have to understand dating in the way they define the word, not the way that is generally understood. So, be upfront, and clarify where you stand, and where they stand, if you're interested in the person.
_____________________________
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and
Lead me in the way everlasting Psalm 139:22-24
-------------------------------------
Go Steelers!!!
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 9:47:50 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
Again, from my point of view, depending on how far into a relationship goes, if there is multiple dating going on, I feel it is disrespectful. If it is in the beginning like I think prairie said, and a feeling out phase of dating, I can understand this. But if you are 4-5 dates, weeks, or months into relationships, and you are still dating multiple people, there is something wrong with that.
This of course, is my humble opinion. It may be wrong, but it is how I see it.
Doing things like this lead to people getting feelings hurt.
It really depends on both people in a particular relationship; not what my personal preference is; not what your personal preference is . . . but what the personal preferences of the specific two people in any given relationship are. If they go into a "multiple-dating relationship and they are both fine with it, then why should it bother anyone else; regardless of how long the multiple dating continues? AND, what business is it of anyone else; especially if they're not one of the people involved?
As I've said before, I know some very fine upstanding real, true Christians who date more than one person at a time. These are very ethical and moral people.
Would I date more than one person at a time? No; it's not at all my preference. But my dating one person at a time doesn't make me "a better" Christian than someone who dates multiple people at a time. Likewise, their dating multiple people at a time doesn't make them "a lesser" Christian.
A person who dates multiple people at a time can do so very respectfully of all involved.
Additionally, a person who dates only one person at time can do so quite very disrespectfully.
Respect is not synonmous with "single-dating."
Disrespect is not synonymous with "multiple-dating."
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❖ Let's Discuss the Advent Season ❖
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 9:50:30 PM
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ChocolateHoney
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In the situation with the nonChristian, it was never clear. I was constantly trying to clarify and that lasted 7 months until he decided to call it quits and cut me out of his life cold turkey. (Still getting over it and surely did learn a major lesson). As for Christians casually dating - wouldn't it be the responsibility of the guy to tell the girl that he's dating other people too -just getting to know them? I personally think Christians would/should (?) be more sensitive to others and more respectful because of our Father. Not admitting that you're not romantically interested is sheer rotten of the guy. (No matter if he's Christian or non-Christian) A girl is usually going to spend time and put an effort if she's going on a date. All in All, intentions need to be made known from the outset and I think a responsible guy would do that.
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 9:55:50 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChocolateHoney
All in All, intentions need to be made known from the outset and I think a responsible guy would do that.
Exactly. I've been saying this all along (via different words).
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
When it becomes a recreation, and a pattern for someone, then it's sinful. Please provide specific Scripture reference to support this claim and that addresses this mindset. I'm not talking about Scripture reference regarding dating; I'm asking for Scripture reference to support the basis of what you are saying is sinful.
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 9:57:53 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
Again, from my point of view, depending on how far into a relationship goes, if there is multiple dating going on, I feel it is disrespectful. If it is in the beginning like I think prairie said, and a feeling out phase of dating, I can understand this. But if you are 4-5 dates, weeks, or months into relationships, and you are still dating multiple people, there is something wrong with that.
This of course, is my humble opinion. It may be wrong, but it is how I see it.
Doing things like this lead to people getting feelings hurt.
It really depends on both people in a particular relationship; not what my personal preference is; not what your personal preference is . . . but what the personal preferences of the specific two people in any given relationship are. If they go into a "multiple-dating relationship and they are both fine with it, then why should it bother anyone else; regardless of how long the multiple dating continues? AND, what business is it of anyone else; especially if they're not one of the people involved?
As I've said before, I know some very fine upstanding real, true Christians who date more than one person at a time. These are very ethical and moral people.
Would I date more than one person at a time? No; it's not at all my preference. But my dating one person at a time doesn't make me "a better" Christian than someone who dates multiple people at a time. Likewise, their dating multiple people at a time doesn't make them "a lesser" Christian.
A person who dates multiple people at a time can do so very respectfully of all involved.
Additionally, a person who dates only one person at time can do so quite very disrespectfully.
Respect is not synonmous with "single-dating."
Disrespect is not synonymous with "multiple-dating."
Who's business is it? Certainly not mine. Everyone is free to do what they want.
The point of this whole forum is to give our own personal opinions though, is it not?
Not for nothing, but you come off with the I know better than you attitude. I have noticed this in other posts of yours, and really don't appreciate it.
The OP asked our opinion. I gave mine. And you keep coming back like you know more than me, and my opinion is wrong.
So thanks. I agree with some of what you said. But we don't see eye to eye in some other areas of this conversation.
You assume that all involved in this type of dating, knows that multiple dating is going on. If that is the case, then all is fine. If they don't care, neither should we.
But in my experiences, most of the time, NOT ALL, usually both parties involved do not know the other person is seeing someone else.
So....please take no offense White Rose....I will leave it at that.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
http://followtheleader-mat1624.blogspot.com/
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 10:07:23 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
When it becomes a recreation, and a pattern for someone, then it's sinful. Please provide specific Scripture reference to support this claim and that addresses this mindset. I'm not talking about Scripture reference regarding dating; I'm asking for Scripture reference to support the basis of what you are saying is sinful. [/font]
Sorry, I have no scriptures that tells that "thou shall not date recreationally" , but then, I have no verse to say thou shall not abort a baby either, but majority of Christians believe it's a sin.
If you believe that it's not sinful for a man (or woman) to spend time with someone he is not planning on putting any emotional investment in a relationship, yet is not defining the relationship as friendship, then, what does this say about the condition of his/her heart?
BTW, I'm not up for debate, so that's my last word on this one and I'll leave you that to ponder if you wish. 
_____________________________
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and
Lead me in the way everlasting Psalm 139:22-24
-------------------------------------
Go Steelers!!!
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 10:11:08 PM
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ChocolateHoney
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Is dating the way God wants us to meet others? Is single or multiple dating what He wants? Or is the getting to know each other in a group and then, proposing/courting, the healthiest way? Dating casually can be so hurtful since I get the impression that intentions are not mentioned as much as they should/are...would you guys agree to this statement?
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 10:13:53 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
Who's business is it? Certainly not mine. Everyone is free to do what they want.
The point of this whole forum is to give our own personal opinions though, is it not?
The OP asked our opinion. I gave mine. And you keep coming back like you know more than me, and my opinion is wrong.
So thanks. I agree with some of what you said. But we don't see eye to eye in some other areas of this conversation.
So....please take no offense White Rose....I will leave it at that.
So . . . you can respond to my posts and it's considered giving your opinion, but if I respond to your posts then I'm arguing? That seems a bit two-sided to me.
You're right; one of the points of this forum is give our personal opinions. I haven't said a thing against you with your opinion, and I would appreciate the same regard.
quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
You assume that all involved in this type of dating, knows that multiple dating is going on. If that is the case, then all is fine. If they don't care, neither should we.
But in my experiences, most of the time, NOT ALL, usually both parties involved do not know the other person is seeing someone else. No, I do not assume that. Neither have I said it NOR have I implied it.
Incidentally, THIS:quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
Not for nothing, but you come off with the I know better than you attitude. I have noticed this in other posts of yours, and really don't appreciate it. . . . is a violation of TOS 6: You will not harass, threaten, embarrass or distress members, either in the community itself or via personal email, phone, physical mail or in person. You will not engage in name-calling or personal attacks in the course of discussion or debate. You will not post inflammatory remarks simply for the purpose for evoking reaction or starting fights with other community members (Often referred to as "trolling"). Overall, promoting a spirit of divisiveness in the chat and forums community will not be tolerated.
- Attacking the character or motives of someone who differs with your view or denying that he or she is a Christian is unacceptable.
I have not attacked you; I would appreciate the same consideration. If you feel that you will not be able to refrain from attacking me in the future, please block me.
For what it's worth, I don't know everything and I don't claim to know everything. In fact, I never have made or thought such a claim.
I find it almost amusing (but mostly sad) that people can have very strong opinions about things as long as other people agree with them. But, let someone who thinks differently have a strong opinion and it suddenly become unacceptable to have strong opinions . . . even though, as you said, this forum is a place to express opinions. Interesting.
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❖ Let's Discuss the Advent Season ❖
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 10:22:44 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Sorry, I have no scriptures that tells that "thou shall not date recreationally" As I've already said in my post that you quoted, I was not asking for a specific Scripture on dating. I was asking for you to back up the fact that you said that mindset was sinful.
(Your example of abortion being sin can be backed up biblically because murder is sin.)
It's a very dangerous thing to claim something is sinful when one cannot provide Scripture reference for the basis of what is being claimed as sin.
There's a responsibility that goes along in providing proof of why something is sinful when such claims are made. Just as there's a responsibility in being able to show where in the Bible something is when someone says, "It's in the Bible"
My point was not to debate; my point is that if something is going to be called as sin, the person calling it as sin needs to be prepared to back it up as to why they feel it is sin. What would you do if a non-believer asked you to support your theory Biblical that something is sin but you're unable to do so? That's my whole point. We have to know what we're talking about and we have to be able to back it up. If something is a sin, then that (whether it be that directly or indirectly) is going to be mentioned in the Bible as either being sin or being forbidden.
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 10:35:09 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChocolateHoney
Is dating the way God wants us to meet others? Is single or multiple dating what He wants? Or is the getting to know each other in a group and then, proposing/courting, the healthiest way? Dating casually can be so hurtful since I get the impression that intentions are not mentioned as much as they should/are...would you guys agree to this statement?
I don't believe God has one specific way in which he wants people to meet other people for the purpose of marriage. I believe as long as the "process" honors Him and both people involved, it's all good.
I also believe that people should certainly be responsible when they date others; regardless of how they define dating or how they go about doing it.
Incidentally, I don't date the way "most people" date; meaning, I won't date a person until after I have gotten to know him (versus dating in order to get to know him. But, I don't do that for any spiritual reasons; rather I do it simply because that's how I want to do it.
Yes, I do agree that if people's intentions are not made clear in the beginning, then people can get hurt. Both people have a responsibility in this; both people need to let the other one know "where they're at" (regarding the whole "dating thing") and both people need to really hear what the other one is saying.
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❖ Let's Discuss the Advent Season ❖
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 10:50:53 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
Who's business is it? Certainly not mine. Everyone is free to do what they want.
The point of this whole forum is to give our own personal opinions though, is it not?
The OP asked our opinion. I gave mine. And you keep coming back like you know more than me, and my opinion is wrong.
So thanks. I agree with some of what you said. But we don't see eye to eye in some other areas of this conversation.
So....please take no offense White Rose....I will leave it at that.
So . . . you can respond to my posts and it's considered giving your opinion, but if I respond to your posts then I'm arguing? That seems a bit two-sided to me.
You're right; one of the points of this forum is give our personal opinions. I haven't said a thing against you with your opinion, and I would appreciate the same regard.
quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
You assume that all involved in this type of dating, knows that multiple dating is going on. If that is the case, then all is fine. If they don't care, neither should we.
But in my experiences, most of the time, NOT ALL, usually both parties involved do not know the other person is seeing someone else. No, I do not assume that. Neither have I said it NOR have I implied it.
Incidentally, THIS:quote:
ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD
Not for nothing, but you come off with the I know better than you attitude. I have noticed this in other posts of yours, and really don't appreciate it. . . . is a violation of TOS 6: You will not harass, threaten, embarrass or distress members, either in the community itself or via personal email, phone, physical mail or in person. You will not engage in name-calling or personal attacks in the course of discussion or debate. You will not post inflammatory remarks simply for the purpose for evoking reaction or starting fights with other community members (Often referred to as "trolling"). Overall, promoting a spirit of divisiveness in the chat and forums community will not be tolerated.
- Attacking the character or motives of someone who differs with your view or denying that he or she is a Christian is unacceptable.
I have not attacked you; I would appreciate the same consideration. If you feel that you will not be able to refrain from attacking me in the future, please block me.
For what it's worth, I don't know everything and I don't claim to know everything. In fact, I never have made or thought such a claim.
I find it almost amusing (but mostly sad) that people can have very strong opinions about things as long as other people agree with them. But, let someone who thinks differently have a strong opinion and it suddenly become unacceptable to have strong opinions . . . even though, as you said, this forum is a place to express opinions. Interesting.
whiterose,
I am sorry you feel this way. And again I say, please take no offense...but it isn't the fact that you respond to my posts, or differ your view, if you notice all my other posts, I respect peoples opinions. On the other hand, I feel the way you respond to my posts, like the underlining, and capitalizing, and the overall attitude is the problem.
I have been posting for a year and a half, and have rarely had any problems. I try to be respectful at all times, though I do crack a lot of jokes. Everything you said in this post about tos violations is how I felt about your posts. But I can appreciate your side, your view, and have no problem. Maybe you can ponder what I am saying here, go back over the thread and see where I am coming from.
No ill will here, I apologize if I caused you any.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
http://followtheleader-mat1624.blogspot.com/
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RE: Confused about dating... - 6/27/2009 10:59:59 PM
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teej18
Posts: 94
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChocolateHoney
I'm confused about dating as a Christian. Can a Christian be dating several men at the same time? I know someone who is, but in my mind, even if the men apparently all have potential, why date several guys at the same time? Doesn't sound right to me. I have been brought up to think you either focus on one at a time, not several or else, you're using someone along the way, right? Or are you? I'm confused.
ChocolateHoney,
I really think the answer to your question comes down to how you define dating. I can say I am "going on a date", or refer to someone as "my date" but not necessarily be at a point where he is my boyfriend. I use this time to get to know someone to the extent that we have discussed our beliefs and values and know whether or not they are compatible. (At this point I don't need to be committed to him only. I do need to focus on him while we are on our date, though). Quite honestly, depending on the length of the dates and amount of discussion we are able to engage in, I will know within 3-5 dates whether this is a person I want to get to know more deeply. (No this is NOT a hard and fast rule. Recently I went out with a guy and within about 8 hours spent face-to-face with him, I knew we were not compatible.)
Now, once I have decided that I want to really get to know this person more, especially if the feelings are mutual, I commit to going out with that person only so as to devote my efforts to getting to know him. I would hope that he is doing the same. That may not be the case.
As WhiteRose mentioned, each party may have already discussed this scenario. Either way is not right or wrong, but even as a female, I try to go into a relationship protecting my heart. This is not really easy to do while being open at the same time, but I have to remember that even within the umbrella of Christianity, there are varying views on this. Thus, I cannot be immediately offended to find out that someone is taking out another girl the evening after our "first date". If this bothers me that much, then I should have brought it up and asked him about his personal policies in the beginning.
Anyway, ChocolateHoney, you mention that this is the way you were brought up. If this is what you believe, then date one person at a time, just make sure your "dates" are too.
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