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please help me!!! - 6/28/2009 1:19:52 PM
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tekayla
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Joined: 6/28/2009
From: usa
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I am 19 years old. a wife and mother of a one year old. i started work last year around november and met a guy we started off friends and soon it turned into something more serious i feel like i understand him and he understands me but i am married and he is married iam a christian and i am so confused i dont want to sin and i know that is what iam doing i got married at 15 and my husband and i have gone through a lot of problems before i need advice about a month ago my husband found out about me and this guy and we are trying to work it out but my mind still wonders about this other guy and i dream about him and i think of him during the most private moments of my marriage what is wrong with me at my church my husband is the band director and i love to sing and play the piano for jesus but i have stop since along time ago cause i feel iam not pure anymore. this guy called me up a day ago and said he still loves me and he has left his wife and wants me i need advice so i can make this decision i want to have a pure heart again please give me advice.
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/28/2009 1:25:36 PM
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vvmyrss
Posts: 235
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From: Texas
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It's very simple. You cut all contact with this guy and focus on your marriage. There are no other options. Read your Bible daily and stay in constant prayer with God. Every time this guy comes to your mind, pray.
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My Blog Prayers Online
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/28/2009 3:07:02 PM
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tscoffey
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quote:
...and he has left his wife ...
A hypothetical question for you:
If his wife were to post a question on here asking how she can get her husband back home, and how to get this "other woman" to leave him alone,
how would you respond to her?
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/28/2009 4:25:43 PM
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tekayla
Posts: 5
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From: usa
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yes i understand that but if they were having problems before that and i was having problems before that.his wife has let him go she said she understood he was in love with someone else and that she was letting him go so he could be happy and my husband said the same thing is it wrong to want to be happy, maybe i married to young at the age of 15 do we really know what we want.
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/28/2009 4:38:29 PM
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vvmyrss
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From: Texas
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It is not grounds for divorce. You are to honor your marriage. There are no loop holes here.
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My Blog Prayers Online
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/28/2009 5:02:51 PM
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tscoffey
Posts: 55
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quote:
...his wife has let him go she said she understood he was in love with someone else and that she was letting him go so he could be happy and my husband said the same thing...
How very,very convenient that you now get to profit from the damage you purposely caused.
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/28/2009 5:17:41 PM
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tekayla
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From: usa
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somehow i know you guys are right. i have been in church long enough to know this.i think i always knew this i jus wanted things to go the way i wanted but you are right JESUS is right i just needed to hear the truth from someone else thank you for not cutting corners truth hurts but its still the truth. GOD BLESS YOU.
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/28/2009 5:17:58 PM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 10998
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From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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There is no provision in Scripture for a divorce due to falling out of love, falling in love with someone else, marrying too young, etc.
Nope.
I'm not sure why you got married so young, but you've got the husband you're with, and that's the one you should work to stay with.
Scripture has a lot of bad things to say about the adulteress, the woman who is married but yearns after another. Please cut off all communication with this other man, and focus on making your marriage the best it can be.
_____________________________
LibriVox: acoustical liberation of books in the public domain
(Avatar: Turkeys are all saying "Moo")
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/28/2009 5:19:03 PM
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ta_mosquito
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Cross-post - we posted within seconds of each other.
I'm glad you see the truth. (((hugs to you))) during this difficult challenge!
_____________________________
LibriVox: acoustical liberation of books in the public domain
(Avatar: Turkeys are all saying "Moo")
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/28/2009 5:34:18 PM
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tekayla
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From: usa
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THANK YOU ill work on it right away and keep everyone posted on my situation.
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/29/2009 12:31:01 AM
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Isaiah331516
Posts: 248
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tekayla
somehow i know you guys are right. i have been in church long enough to know this.i think i always knew this i jus wanted things to go the way i wanted but you are right JESUS is right i just needed to hear the truth from someone else thank you for not cutting corners truth hurts but its still the truth. GOD BLESS YOU.
praise the Word of God! amen, we love you :-)
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/29/2009 6:58:24 AM
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p31mom
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Praise God that you are choosing to walk away from sin!
Some things that might help make that easier:
1. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that God can not make your marriage better than anything sin can provide. Sin will provide a short term pleasure which is what you are feeling now...but that will not last. The consequences of sin will always come back to haunt you. God can make your marriage everything you want it to be an more. Choose to find your happiness in the truth.
2. Sexual temptation can be very powerful. Don't take it lightly and do what others have advise and flee the temptation by cutting off contact. Don't try and stand in the presence of that temptation.
3. Take all of the feelings that you have to God and ask Him to change your heart...never cease in your prayer.
Much love and blessings to you and your husband.
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/29/2009 9:05:34 PM
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tekayla
Posts: 5
Joined: 6/28/2009
From: usa
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i have a question as i said i work with this guy when u say cut all contact do u mean quit my job? how is the best way i do this?
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/29/2009 9:27:31 PM
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laura...
Posts: 3278
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tekayla
i have a question as i said i work with this guy when u say cut all contact do u mean quit my job? how is the best way i do this?
Go into work and say "Due to personal reasons, I quit."
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: please help me!!! - 6/29/2009 9:31:47 PM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 10998
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From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tekayla
i have a question as i said i work with this guy when u say cut all contact do u mean quit my job? how is the best way i do this?
If that's what it takes to stay away from him and not sin, then yes.
_____________________________
LibriVox: acoustical liberation of books in the public domain
(Avatar: Turkeys are all saying "Moo")
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RE: please help me!!! - 7/1/2009 6:18:26 PM
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CreatedinHisImage
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Joined: 7/1/2009
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A lil over 2yrs ago I too met someone else & eventually divorced my husband after 15yrs of marriage. My ex-never had any involvement w/our kids & I. I was basically alone 4 a long time. Never the less one day my co-wkrs dad came & applied 4 a job, and began 2 ask lots of ?'s about me & pursued me. Not to justify my actions, but after being alone 4 a long time, all the fuss & attn after 5 kids felt really good. Long story short, we have now been 2gether 2yrs & it has cost me many tears. First of all the guilt of my actions tortured me 4 a long time. Second thing is this man can & has been mean to me & my kids. Let me explain, I have never loved a man, like I love this man, he has lots of wonderful qualities, but it has cost me big time. He was a bachelor & alone for 13yrs and now he's moved to a home with 3 teenagers & a toddler. He teaches my kids good things their own father never took the time to, but in a drill sergeant kind of way. He was a bounty hunter for many yrs and lived a very mean violent life. He has anger issues. He is now serving God & is a fisher of men, but God is still working on that callous stone cold heart, and it is a work in progress. I have to trust God 100% and constantly pray, because he has major mood swings. My ex husband wasn't much of a companion, but @ least he was nice & a very mellow human being. Please think about my story when you think of leaving your husband, because the GRASS MAY APPEAR GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE, BUT TRUST ME, ITS NOT and every thing that glitters is not gold. FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE. I pray I have helped you.
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RE: please help me!!! - 7/1/2009 11:47:36 PM
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APZR
Posts: 1056
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: GA
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You wouldn't have posted if you didn't know it was all, ALL wrong! That is the spirit of conviction, get some help as a couple.
_____________________________
Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: please help me!!! - 7/2/2009 1:58:51 AM
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MowTin
Posts: 104
Joined: 4/20/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tekayla
yes i understand that but if they were having problems before that and i was having problems before that.his wife has let him go she said she understood he was in love with someone else and that she was letting him go so he could be happy and my husband said the same thing is it wrong to want to be happy, maybe i married to young at the age of 15 do we really know what we want.
Everyone wants to be happy. But to be happy you also need to be happy with yourself and your own conduct. It's hard to be happy knowing you cheated or betrayed another human being.
And think about this...if this guy is willing to pursue you knowing you're married, how good can he be? What kind of morals does he have? He clearly doesn't value marriage. I doubt he will value a marriage or commitment to you.
Don't you think you would be happier if you don't have to remember betraying and cheating someone?
It's impossible to be happy without God. Your husband can't make you happy and this new man can't do it either. Only God can give you that living water wich you thirst for.
Serve God and your fellow man and you will feel fulfilled.
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