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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/1/2009 10:25:33 AM
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myhusbandswife76
Posts: 234
Joined: 4/24/2009
Status: online
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I think you should agree with her that putting God first in your marriage is a priority for you as well, and that you also desire to start your marriage right. Would she be open to the idea of a devotinal time with you on Sunday morning? Maybe before, after or during breakfast? The kind my husband, and I like are the ones where each person has their own book, and there are questions about what your reading with space to write your answers. Or, maybe watching a church service on TV or the internet in the morning? Just some thoughts for you. Congrats on your upcoming wedding.
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/1/2009 10:49:59 AM
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laura...
Posts: 3278
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
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"Happy wife...happy life." &:)
Going to church on Sunday morning following your wedding day is a very active way of placing God as the first priority in your marriage. I think that is a very good precedent to set. Not all newlyweds are able to go to church the day after their wedding due to travel and schedules and such. But for those who can, I believe they should.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/1/2009 11:15:22 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 4027
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GodsGiddyGirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: GrannyofSix
I find this very offensive. Sounds like to me that you are obsessed with sex! Her body is not for your use and pleasure only and you might as well accept that before the wedding! Really! Are you marrying her just for sex? What if she had her time of the month starting that day? Would you just die?!
Obsessed ... because he wants to spend intimate time with his wife? That's. Just. Wrong. 
...........................
Erickssonfamily, may God bless your marriage bed.
Blessings, GG.
I agree with you on this....this is how marriage start having sexual problems.
And going to church doesn't mean they are more Godly. If a person feels that she has to go to church every Sunday to serve God, she is wrong. Serving God is what you do when you decided to make Jesus the authority of your life; so, everything one done from those point on is or should be out of heart that loves God. If she is can't stay away from church from one day, I'd be a little bit weary about her priorities.
TO the OP, you should discuss this with your wife. And I don't agree that you should always submit to your wife's wishes. This will set the tone on how your marriage will be....allowing her to have every wishes she wants without any discussion from you is allowing her to lead in your marriage. I'm not saying you should go or not go to church the day following your wedding, but if you do not agree with this, it should be brought up for discussion. YOu might have to compromise, but don't do it without communicating. Communication is very important in relationships.
_____________________________
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and
Lead me in the way everlasting Psalm 139:22-24
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Go Steelers!!!
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/1/2009 11:33:42 AM
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laura...
Posts: 3278
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
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quote:
And I don't agree that you should always submit to your wife's wishes. This will set the tone on how your marriage will be....allowing her to have every wishes she wants without any discussion from you is allowing her to lead in your marriage.
Ummm... her wish is to go to church. That's hardly demanding that her every wish be granted. If he is supposed to be the spiritual leader in the family, he should not only be willing to go to church the day after his wedding, he should be leading his family to church on their first day as a family
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/1/2009 11:54:41 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 4027
Status: offline
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quote:
Ummm... her wish is to go to church. That's hardly demanding that her every wish be granted. If he is supposed to be the spiritual leader in the family, he should not only be willing to go to church the day after his wedding, he should be leading his family to church on their first day as a family
And the reason for that is???
Is God not with them in their hotel room? Can they only worship God when they're in church. How about spending the day worshipping God with each other, dedicating their whole future as a married couple to God, and setting the tone for how their marriage will be, outside of the four walls of the church. People get so caught up with equating worship with church and forget that worship is about what we do with out life.
Anyone who doesn't feel they can't worship God outside of the four walls of church has no clue about true worship.
I'm not advocating not going to church. But see the "ministry thread" about setting priorities....lots of discussions there about these kinds of issues.
_____________________________
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and
Lead me in the way everlasting Psalm 139:22-24
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Go Steelers!!!
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/1/2009 1:19:34 PM
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Ps103
Posts: 12140
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Here, now
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I don't think the OP sounds overly-hormonal, or whatever the phrasing was. I think it is very natural to be looking forward to being intimate with one's spouse on one's wedding night. I know I was 
And "being intimate" does not necessarily mean constantly having sex, and I do not think the OP meant it that way . I think he just wants to be alone with his wife for the first 24 hours or so, and I do not see one thing wrong with that. God will be with them where ever they are.
I would definitely bring this up in a premarital counseling session, because a neutral third-party can better help you come up with a way to resolve this (and any other areas of disagreement).
I do not think it is typical for a newly-married couple to attend services the morning after their wedding, in fact, I cannot think of a single couple I know of that got married on a Saturday night and went to church the next morning and I think when it comes down to it your fiancee is going to be so exhausted from the wedding and everything else that she is not going to make it to church, frankly. The week before a wedding is extremely trying--mentally, physically and emotionally--even in the best of cases.
I can think of a compromise off hand that may work, though. We got married on a Sunday afternoon and I did not make it to church that morning--but, the wedding ceremony was not only the vows, it was a complete service. Perhaps that would be possible for you, as well?
I would also hope that the reasons for her insisting on attending church the morning after your wedding will come out in the premarital counselling. If she is doing it out of guilt, or out of some idea of being a "super Christian," or because she thinks God will be angry at her if she misses church, then it is a problem and she needs to deal with that. But the pastor probably would have a much better way of helping her deal with it than you or anyone on the board would.
Best wishes!
_____________________________
Fasten your seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy night.
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/1/2009 5:13:17 PM
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10SNE1?
Posts: 216
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: erikssonfamily
Hey Everyone,
I am asking for everyone's opinion about an important issue for my fiance and I. We are getting married on a Saturday, but she feels that we still need to go to church the following day. I, however, disagree. I believe that God intended our wedding night and our first day as a couple to be filled with consummation and learning more about each other. In fact, I think He would be dishonored if we didn't spend the day with God by ourselves - in a way, worshipping him through our sex.
What do you guys think? I couldn't find a blog or anything that dealt with this question. I don't know what is common for newlyweds.
Thanks,
Christian E riksson
Am I the only one who thinks this is a troll? "To be filled with Consummation" "worshiping Him through our sex"????
Yeah that is how all the young adults at my church speak 
First post, giving us his full name which just happens to be Christian???
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/1/2009 7:18:12 PM
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GrannyofSix
Posts: 128
Joined: 6/17/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
Question for everyone: Why does almost everyone agrees that the wife should get her way, and the husband should submit to her wishes? Why are we training the woman to lead, or at least to be treated like the princess of the castle and treat the man like what he wants matters at all? How does this create leadership in a man? Are we supposed to accept what Ben said above that his free will is gone as soon as he says I do...and that he submits to her as she leads?
I don't think that everyone is taking the wife's side and making the husband submit to her wishes. I think she has her priorities straight and he is only thinking of sex. He is thinking of his physical needs/wants and she is thinking of starting off their marriage with God in the center of their lives.
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/1/2009 8:19:25 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2626
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: out of the everywhere into here
Status: offline
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quote:
I cannot think of a single couple I know of that got married on a Saturday night and went to church the next morning
I know several! One of the couples though, as much as I can gather opted not to do the consumation that night, but to do it in the coming week.
_____________________________
Wizard's rule #1 .People can be stupid and willfully deceived (that's from the book, not the show)..slightly edited for CW
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/1/2009 11:41:43 PM
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APZR
Posts: 1056
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: GA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
I have known too many people who prided themselves on NEVER missing church. (one woman in the congregation I grew up in 'testified' frequently that she had not missed a single service for any reason for 50 years) It is a very unhealty religious attitude, a form of legalism.
Agreed. Visited a church, and an older couple on the evangelism committee prided themselves on coming to church well.... or sick!  We left and never returned! 
As for church after the wedding, ours was on Saturday, and I had to drive 18 hours to make the ship for our week long honeymoon cruise. Then upon returning home, we had a house full of wedding stuff dumped in our living room. So needless to say, we missed more than 2 weeks of church. But if she wants to go and worship as two made one flesh, then you'd better put on the trousers and a clean shirt. Nothing says you have to hang out all day after church receiving congratuations, make a graceful exit and go.
_____________________________
Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 8:32:45 AM
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LizzieJ.
Posts: 257
Joined: 6/30/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
Am I the only one who thinks this is a troll? "To be filled with Consummation" "worshiping Him through our sex"????
Yeah that is how all the young adults at my church speak
Sounded crazy to me. I would NOT have sex with someone who said something like that. 
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 8:36:59 AM
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LizzieJ.
Posts: 257
Joined: 6/30/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
I cannot think of a single couple I know of that got married on a Saturday night and went to church the next morning
Notice your poll. Only 3 went to Chruch - 20 did not. This is a Christian forum to boot. I am with you on this one. I cannot recall any of my friends going the Church right after their wedding.
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 9:14:23 AM
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laura...
Posts: 3278
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LizzieJ.
quote:
I cannot think of a single couple I know of that got married on a Saturday night and went to church the next morning
Notice your poll. Only 3 went to Chruch - 20 did not. This is a Christian forum to boot. I am with you on this one. I cannot recall any of my friends going the Church right after their wedding.
I know many who did.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 11:54:40 AM
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GrannyofSix
Posts: 128
Joined: 6/17/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
At least they are waiting to be physical.
He doesn't say that. He wants the ENTIRE day to be "filled with consummation". Apparently he doesn't know that consummating a marriage happens once. But that's beside the point. To want to spend the day with his new wife is one thing, but to emphasize he wants to have sex with her all day long is what is offensive. (And IF she is a virgin, she won't be able to have sex all day.) And to worship God by having sex? Get real! Never heard of worshiping God through sex!
All he is thinking about is having sex and using his wive's body. And he is offended that she wants to go to church?!?!?! I wouldn't marry him either. It's not like he has only that one day the rest of his life!! Although he acts like it. Boy! Does he have a LOT to learn.
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 12:01:09 PM
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GregandJenny
Posts: 664
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Near Seattle Washington
Status: offline
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quote:
Am I the only one who thinks this is a troll? "To be filled with Consummation" "worshiping Him through our sex"????
Yeah that is how all the young adults at my church speak
First post, giving us his full name which just happens to be Christian???
Ditto
_____________________________
It does not have to be well with my circumstance to be well with my soul!
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 12:16:51 PM
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Ps103
Posts: 12140
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Here, now
Status: offline
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MODERATOR'S NOTE :: ATTENTION PLEASE
Accusing someone of being a troll is a violation of the TOS--disruptive, harassing, distressing other users, etc.
If you believe there is a violation in the OP, file a ticket on it. Otherwise, keep such opinions to yourself.
Please do not reply to this message within the Community. Please do not send me PMs regarding this message.
Please email Community@salemwebnetwork.com with questions, comments, or concerns.
_____________________________
Fasten your seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy night.
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 12:21:23 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 8034
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GrannyofSix
quote:
At least they are waiting to be physical.
He doesn't say that. He wants the ENTIRE day to be "filled with consummation". Apparently he doesn't know that consummating a marriage happens once. But that's beside the point. To want to spend the day with his new wife is one thing, but to emphasize he wants to have sex with her all day long is what is offensive. (And IF she is a virgin, she won't be able to have sex all day.) And to worship God by having sex? Get real! Never heard of worshiping God through sex!
All he is thinking about is having sex and using his wive's body. And he is offended that she wants to go to church?!?!?! I wouldn't marry him either. It's not like he has only that one day the rest of his life!! Although he acts like it. Boy! Does he have a LOT to learn.
Actually since sex is something God created to be good it is natural that having sex is a form of worship. I have heard people talk about counseling with the preacher at my church and he encourages sex after spirit filled events.
I do hope the OP comes back to discuss some of the points brought up. I'm curious to see if he had the opportunity to discuss his thoughts with his future bride.
_____________________________
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 1:29:57 PM
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GodsGiddyGirl
Posts: 107
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GrannyofSix
All he is thinking about is having sex and using his wive's body.
I find that statement to be judgmental. Harsh. Certianly, not helpful.
One way a husband demonstrates his love to his bride is through sex. God ordained sex. To reduce this to “using his wive’s body” seems quite distorted to me. It’s normal and healthy for the bridegroom to want to have sex with his bride on the honeymoon. To want to go on a sexual exploration with his bride. To want to love his bride in the marriage bed.
quote:
Boy! Does he have a LOT to learn.
Perhaps you, granny, have something yet to learn, as well. We probably all do. Right?
GG.
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RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 4:00:57 PM
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42servehymn
Posts: 424
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Littleton, Colorado
Status: offline
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I also believe this poster has somewhat unrealistic expectations of what the first few days together will be like. He will figure that out in his own time I suspect. I don't think one or the other is necessarily right. This is the first of many disagreements they will have to work out.
_____________________________
I am my husbands #1 fan!
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