|
|
|
|
|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 4:51:20 PM
|
|
|
GrannyofSix
Posts: 128
Joined: 6/17/2009
Status: offline
|
quote:
One way a husband demonstrates his love to his bride is through sex. God ordained sex. To reduce this to “using his wive’s body” seems quite distorted to me. It’s normal and healthy for the bridegroom to want to have sex with his bride on the honeymoon. To want to go on a sexual exploration with his bride. To want to love his bride in the marriage bed.
True - I totally agree. But if his wife wants to go to church, then he should to. He has the rest of their marriage to "consummate". Maybe he didn't mean his post to sound like all he is thinking of is sex (and selfishly), but that's how it came across to me. I would be proud to get married to a young man who was so devout that HE wanted to go to church the next day. To worship God together as One for the first time. THAT would be worshipping God in the way I think God would be pleased. Nothing should come before God, Jesus and Church. Nothing.
I hope that his fiancee' doesn't read his post. It would surely hurt her feelings and wonder about his intentions and purposes. IMO.
quote:
I have heard people talk about counseling with the preacher at my church and he encourages sex after spirit filled events.
Never heard of such teachings. I felt the total opposite. When we had a spirit-filled service, I did not desire anything carnal or that would take my mind off of God or take away the glorious feeling that I felt at church. Sometimes I didn't even want to eat. I wanted to rest in the refreshing spirit of the Holy Ghost.
To give love and to make love to my husband would totally take my mind off of God. Which is the way it should be as we should concentrate completely on our spouse and lose ourselves in them to fully enjoy the experience.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 5:00:17 PM
|
|
|
Ps103
Posts: 12136
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Here, now
Status: offline
|
quote:
I did not desire anything carnal
I do not find having sex with the husband God blessed me with "carnal."
Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
_____________________________
Fasten your seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy night.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 5:00:48 PM
|
|
|
Szaftoo
Posts: 502
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: So. Calif.
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: GrannyofSix
quote:
At least they are waiting to be physical.
He doesn't say that. He wants the ENTIRE day to be "filled with consummation". Apparently he doesn't know that consummating a marriage happens once. But that's beside the point. To want to spend the day with his new wife is one thing, but to emphasize he wants to have sex with her all day long is what is offensive. (And IF she is a virgin, she won't be able to have sex all day.) And to worship God by having sex? Get real! Never heard of worshiping God through sex!
All he is thinking about is having sex and using his wive's body. And he is offended that she wants to go to church?!?!?! I wouldn't marry him either. It's not like he has only that one day the rest of his life!! Although he acts like it. Boy! Does he have a LOT to learn.
Just my opinion, but you can tell by his post that they haven't had sex yet. If they were already being physical, he wouldn't be so anxious for his wedding night. Couples who are sexual before marriage don't have anything to look forward to, they have already been there.
He is obviously speaking from inexperience but why pop his bubble. Let him and his new wife experiment and learn together what works for them.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 5:59:18 PM
|
|
|
LizzieJ.
Posts: 257
Joined: 6/30/2009
Status: offline
|
quote:
In fact, I think He would be dishonored if we didn't spend the day with God by ourselves - in a way, worshipping him through our sex.
I don't have a problem with you wanting to stay in and have sex all day. Go for it.
I have a problem with you trying to act as if this is somehow an act of worship. It's about lust, not God. Be honest with yourself.
She may want to go to Church because she may want a "break" from all the sex she knows you have in mind. 
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/2/2009 10:27:20 PM
|
|
|
ta_mosquito
Posts: 10981
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
Status: offline
|
MODERATOR'S NOTE :: ATTENTION PLEASE
Please keep this thread on the topic, which is going to church the day after your wedding.
The joys of marital sex or whether it's carnal or spiritual is NOT the topic. Please keep it PG.
Thank you!
Tricia
Forums Moderator
Please do not reply to this message within the forums or chat.
Please email Community@salemwebnetwork.com with questions, comments, or concerns.
Please do not send me PMs regarding this message.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/3/2009 7:38:15 PM
|
|
|
buckifn
Posts: 1738
Joined: 5/23/2006
Status: offline
|
Is your worship limited to time spent in a building called a church? I don't understand why you could not worship God together with your new mate wherever you are. We got married on a Sat. and early Sun. morning hiked 12 miles to a place surrounded by waterfalls and BEAUTIFUL scenery. I have never felt closer to God.
We spent the next 2 weeks enjoying time alone with each other and God was DEFINITELY right there in the midst of all we did.
I think it was actually 3 Sundays before we returned to church.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/4/2009 7:45:33 PM
|
|
|
stellaluna
Posts: 4161
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
Why, exactly, does she want to go to church the next day?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/4/2009 10:07:04 PM
|
|
|
Prairiehiker
Posts: 4012
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
Why, exactly, does she want to go to church the next day?
That was my question? Is this person addicted to church? Is this the way it's going to be from now on....no more weekends away from home, no camping, no vacations on weekends, no visiting friends from far away, no sleeping in just because she believes Sundays are strictly for going to church.
I really believe this is an important issue that should be brought forward and discussed during the counselling session.
_____________________________
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and
Lead me in the way everlasting Psalm 139:22-24
-------------------------------------
Go Steelers!!!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/4/2009 10:41:27 PM
|
|
|
stellaluna
Posts: 4161
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
I wish the OP would come back and give a few more details.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/4/2009 11:20:48 PM
|
|
|
sharonjef2007
Posts: 2302
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline
|
I would have loved to go to church the next morning. We married in my hometown and there were some people that I had not had a chance to see. It would have been great to worship with them. But, we were on our way to the airport to head home.
I'm more practical when it comes to stuff like this.....what time is your wedding/reception all going to be over? Ours was an afternoon deal, so we were at the hotel by 6:00pm. Plenty of time to get things done and get sleep had we been able to go to church the next morning. Now, if it was a late wedding, then there is no way I'd be getting up any earlier then I had to.
Again, on the practical side, wedding days are LONG DAYS! Even if everything goes smoothly and there are no major crazies, you both will be exhausted after it is all done. If it were me, I'd not make a decision until that morning. Why do you have to decide now? There are sooooooo many variables that could change both of your minds when that weekend comes along.
But really, there is nothing wrong with either decision. Just make sure you make it together. My feelings? If the morning after comes along and at least one of you decide to go to church, then just go. It is an hour or two at most. That leaves a lot of time for loving otherwise. And, you will have to take some meal and clean up breaks anyhow.
_____________________________
my blog......Picture This.......
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/5/2009 12:24:58 AM
|
|
|
truthrevealed
Posts: 719
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
|
Responding strictly to the OP, do whatever brings harmony in your marriage. This won't be the last time where you two will have differing opinions/convictions. The challenge and...... maturity of marriage(as you will learn ) is allowing God to teach you both how to find balance having different perspectives. It'll take more time than you probably want but I think you should start, deciding to compromise right off the bat. Whatever brings peace, one-ness of purpose, thought, action is your safest bet--- so find that place of harmony no matter what----God can always be found in PEACE and AGREEMENT!
I sure wish we could all get a revelation on the awesome creation of sex. I consider commitment to our spouse even thru this act,as a grand exemplification of our worship of God---putting Him first, because He designed the act to reflect the supreme act of love and one-ness that can be shared.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/5/2009 12:41:01 AM
|
|
|
Ps103
Posts: 12136
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Here, now
Status: offline
|
quote:
My in-laws are very much "if it's Sunday, and if it's possible, we will be in church" folks. They do it to worship God, not as a requirement or addiction. And they still go away on weekends - a LOT! (If possible, they find a church they can attend near the campground or whatever.)
I'm flabbergasted on how people are coming down on someone who wants to attend church.
When we are on vacation, we (almost) always go to church. It isn't a matter of going to church on vacation.
It is insisting on going to church the morning after your wedding. I do not see anything *wrong* with it, but I do find it unusual. And since it is not the norm, even on a Christian board (see the poll results), I think the reason is something that needs to be known--especially since the two people involved do not agree. If they did agree, there would be no issue.
*I* would want to know prior to the wedding if my future spouse had something going on the made him think he absolutely
*had* to be in church that particular morning. It may be nothing more than he *wanted* to, but if he felt he *had* to go, I think that is something I would need to get to the bottom of. And I think the OP has the right--and the responsibility--to find out, as well. It *is* going to affect the rest of his life, after all.
FWIW, I was raised in a denomination where Sunday morning attendance was expected in all but the direst of circumstances, and Sunday and Wednesday night services were not exactly considered optional. Pretty much the only "excuse" one could have was to be so ill they could not get out of bed for the rest of the day. Someone generally came around to check to see if you needed anything and bring you Communion, and they really better find you suffering in the bed  My brother still attends there, and his daughter got married last year. To the Assistant Minister. They got married on a Saturday night and left the next morning for their honeymoon, and no one, even at that church, expected them to do any different.
_____________________________
Fasten your seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy night.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/5/2009 1:35:10 PM
|
|
|
Prairiehiker
Posts: 4012
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito
I agree with you, Ps103. My main point is that we cannot ASSUME the reasons the fiancee has for wanting to go to church, and we cannot say that their weekends are now ruined for vacations because she wants to go to church the day after the wedding. 
The OP said she "feels we still need to go" - is that insisting on going? I suppose it could be read that way, or as, "I feel we need to go to church in the morning, but if you don't think so, we won't."
There's just not enough info in the OP to know for sure.
No one is assuming. We're all saying that this is an important issue that has to be dealt early on. If you go back to my post about a family member who believed that church is important than family, you'll see why I think it's a concern.
_____________________________
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and
Lead me in the way everlasting Psalm 139:22-24
-------------------------------------
Go Steelers!!!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/5/2009 2:58:52 PM
|
|
|
buckifn
Posts: 1738
Joined: 5/23/2006
Status: offline
|
It can be pretty interesting to visit a new church while on vacation. ... But I think being on your honeymoon is different than any other experience you will have together....
I guess the main thing is if it is that important of an issue to someone it definitely should be discussed early and honestly before planning a wedding.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/5/2009 4:06:50 PM
|
|
|
browneyes222
Posts: 157
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: erikssonfamily
Hey Everyone,
I am asking for everyone's opinion about an important issue for my fiance and I. We are getting married on a Saturday, but she feels that we still need to go to church the following day. I, however, disagree. I believe that God intended our wedding night and our first day as a couple to be filled with consummation and learning more about each other. In fact, I think He would be dishonored if we didn't spend the day with God by ourselves - in a way, worshipping him through our sex.
What do you guys think? I couldn't find a blog or anything that dealt with this question. I don't know what is common for newlyweds.
Thanks,
Christian Eriksson
I see nothing wrong with either of your preferences. You wish to stay in bed having sex and are waiting until marriage to do it, that's terrific and why not enjoy each other all day. She on the other hand would like to go to church the next day and attend worship services with her new husband. Maybe she really enjoys church, maybe this is her way of thanking God in a worship service or maybe she can't wait to attend that first Sunday with you as married woman because you are quite the catch of man in her eyes.
This is perhaps your first lesson or insight into married life though, because you will face other disagreements after you get married. So, now you must talk together and reach an agreement you both can be happy with. Take some time to pray, listen to each others reasoning and may the Lord guide your decision whatever that may be.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/5/2009 6:30:50 PM
|
|
|
sharonjef2007
Posts: 2302
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
No one is assuming. We're all saying that this is an important issue that has to be dealt early on. If you go back to my post about a family member who believed that church is important than family, you'll see why I think it's a concern.
Is this really an "important" issue? In the whole scheme of things, isn't deciding if you are going to go to church on the Sunay after your wedding kind of small potatos? I think it is just about two people who are getting married learning to live together, consider each other's opinions and making family decisions. Kind of like which way to put the toilet paper on the roll or if you make the bed every day or not.
_____________________________
my blog......Picture This.......
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/5/2009 6:49:02 PM
|
|
|
Hislittleone
Posts: 681
Joined: 7/13/2007
From: The South
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
quote:
No one is assuming. We're all saying that this is an important issue that has to be dealt early on. If you go back to my post about a family member who believed that church is important than family, you'll see why I think it's a concern.
Is this really an "important" issue? In the whole scheme of things, isn't deciding if you are going to go to church on the Sunay after your wedding kind of small potatos? I think it is just about two people who are getting married learning to live together, consider each other's opinions and making family decisions. Kind of like which way to put the toilet paper on the roll or if you make the bed every day or not.
I agree. In the grand scheme of things this isn't a huge issue. HOW they handle this disagreement is far more important than whether or not they attend church the day after the wedding. The only thing is that they need to come together in agreement.
I would advise him to go to church if that is what she wants. That's a good way to start marriage...putting his wife's desires before his own.
However, after having a wedding she may not feel up to going to church. I remember being exhausted afterwards.
_____________________________
Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/5/2009 9:39:43 PM
|
|
|
ta_mosquito
Posts: 10981
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
Status: offline
|
I agree it's a small issue.
HOWEVER...
I do think there's a larger issue - how much and how often each person wants to go to church. If he'd rather stay home and "worship through sex" on a regular basis and she'd rather go to church every week, that could be setting them up for a lot of contention in the future.
_____________________________
LibriVox: acoustical liberation of books in the public domain
(Avatar: Turkeys are all saying "Moo")
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/6/2009 6:07:56 AM
|
|
|
Hislittleone
Posts: 681
Joined: 7/13/2007
From: The South
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito
I agree it's a small issue.
HOWEVER...
I do think there's a larger issue - how much and how often each person wants to go to church. If he'd rather stay home and "worship through sex" on a regular basis and she'd rather go to church every week, that could be setting them up for a lot of contention in the future.
True. But we have no way of knowing whether this is a one time deal or not. Hopefully the op will come back and clarify.
_____________________________
Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/6/2009 7:59:08 AM
|
|
|
sen10tious
Posts: 232
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito
There's just not enough info in the OP to know for sure.
Yes, and what information he did give was very confusing. I interpreted his desire as wanting to spend Sunday in the "afterglow bubble" where life is just the two of them and their God while all the outside world stops for a day.
I was surprized by how many posters jumped to the sex marathon conclusion. I was also surprized by how many early posters to the thread told him to do what his wife wanted; it wasn't until the 18th post that anyone suggested that his male leadership be factored in. Certainly he does need to "husband" her (and that is husband as a verb, not a noun;) meaning that he needs to use his resources in a prudent manner as a wise caretaker.
An 'afterglow bubble' does not have to be about sex; it comes with any happy, deeply moving experience. Many nursing mothers enjoy these times with their newborns in the middle of the night. There is a worshipful sense when the outside world ended at the door and you hold your full and blissfully sleeping miracle with a heart of praise and thanksgiving. Such times bring a better, more intimate communication with God than sitting in a drafty church pew with a horde of aquaintences is ever likely to achieve. The afterglow is not a time that you would share with a lot of other people who have their own priorities, problems and business.
I do know this: if the newlyweds show up at their home church bright and early the next morning, a lot of people who see them there will be privately thinking that they are really a bit wierd, and some of those thoughts will turn into gossip among the people who are so inclined to have to discuss such things.
Unless and until we know what the bride's motive is for wanting to go to church, we don't have enough information to know if he should submit to her desire or lead his household.
_____________________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday - 7/13/2009 12:43:18 AM
|
|
|
dboe
Posts: 130
Joined: 1/19/2009
Status: offline
|
I can totally understand wanting to "spend the day having sex". I understand that it IS physically possible IF you are not being totally literal. Obviously it is impossible to LITERALLY speaking. It is NOT impossible to "spend the day having sex" unliterally. Just to clear that up. And I will refrain from any braggarting behavoir here. But- let me just say- I totally understand where you are coming from. Actually, with our honeymoon, my husband wanted to do a family Barbecue the day AFTER the wedding. My views were much more in line with yours for your day after.... BUT. And yes, he is a man and I am a woman and that just goes to show that gender stereotypes are pretty stupid. BUT thats another post. Well, we did the Barbecue and did my plans the rest of the week... compromise.... it it key. And if you have about a week, one day or morning service wont kill you, the Barbecue didn't kill me....
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
