Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (Full Version)

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erikssonfamily -> Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/28/2009 8:51:12 PM)

Hey Everyone,

I am asking for everyone's opinion about an important issue for my fiance and I. We are getting married on a Saturday, but she feels that we still need to go to church the following day. I, however, disagree. I believe that God intended our wedding night and our first day as a couple to be filled with consummation and learning more about each other. In fact, I think He would be dishonored if we didn't spend the day with God by ourselves - in a way, worshipping him through our sex.

What do you guys think? I couldn't find a blog or anything that dealt with this question. I don't know what is common for newlyweds.

Thanks,

Christian Eriksson



ta_mosquito -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/28/2009 8:59:26 PM)

Your thread title is backwards.

Without going into detail, if both of you are virgins, you WON'T be spending the entire day in "consummation." It is pretty much physically impossible.

We went to an evening service the day after our wedding. But I wouldn't say you HAVE to go to church one way or the other. Just be in agreement.

BUT I will NOT say that you'd be dishonoring God by doing other things on Sunday - i.e. sightseeing or whatever. There is NO scripture that says you have to be physical for 24 hours after your wedding.



Mollymouser -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/28/2009 8:59:27 PM)

We got married on a Saturday and left town on our honeymoon. We did not attend church the next day.



ta_mosquito -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/28/2009 9:41:41 PM)

Oh, and a great place to ask about WHY I said what I said would be the forums over at themarriagebed.com [8D]



bolt. -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/28/2009 9:43:05 PM)

Buddy, the woman you are going to marry will be your wife.

If she wants to be in Church bright and early the morning after your wedding night, then that's when loving her and giving yourself up for her begins. Bright and early. You don't need to wonder what others do, then form your own opinion, then get into a compromise-through-debate scenario. That style of relating is for friends and families -- when you're married, it's much easier: If it's important to her, and it's within your power, you do it.

Neither going to Church, nor spending a romantic 24 hours dishonours God -- but getting into a place where you think what you want is more important than her preference... that's not only dishonouring, it's direct disobedience to Scripture.



Sideways -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/28/2009 9:47:24 PM)

Yes, I'd say this young man has an overinflated idea of what their first times together will be like. [;)]

But if it's really important to your future wife, an evening service sounds like a good compromise. You can "sleep in" and still spend some time in God's house.

You'll have a lot of time to get to know each other as man and wife. It doesn't have to happen all on the same day.



Beth67 -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/28/2009 9:52:18 PM)

I think it's refreshing that your soon-to-be wife wants to put God first. [:)]



Isaiah331516 -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/28/2009 9:57:13 PM)

quote:

You'll have a lot of time to get to know each other as man and wife. It doesn't have to happen all on the same day.


chuckle chuckle...agreed :-)



saraimay75 -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/28/2009 11:33:01 PM)

Is she going to take your name? Bear your children? Going to church the day after you wedding will not be a trial. It does not have to be bright and early.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/28/2009 11:55:41 PM)

Not to go too far off topic, but could you change the date to a Friday, or are the invitations already written, or is that for some other reason not possible?



Szaftoo -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/29/2009 12:55:30 AM)

For us personally, we went away for a honeymoon and missed two Sunday services. It worked for us and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

This is about communication and compromise. Talk to her and decide together as a couple.



BlessedMamaofmany -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/29/2009 7:16:19 AM)

church or no church...you need to agree and compromise.
If church is that important to her, then go!

And yes...you are not going to be having sex all day. That's Hollywood talking. *ahem* [&:]

If you decide not to go to church, there are plenty of other things you could do to be worshiping God on His day.

Above and beyond the disagreement itself...you must learn how to compromise and agree and PUT EACH OTHER FIRST. NOW.

Just sayin' [8D]



DaveW -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/29/2009 8:24:32 AM)

I did not see how soon the nuptuials were happening.

I have known too many people who prided themselves on NEVER missing church. (one woman in the congregation I grew up in 'testified' frequently that she had not missed a single service for any reason for 50 years) It is a very unhealty religious attitude, a form of legalism.

If you are in premarital counseling (which I recommend for everyone) you and the counselor should explore that possibility. If that is not the case, then I do not think it a big deal either way.


BTW, my 3rd daughter is having a Sunday wedding after our Saturday services.......(to be on topic with the subject line)



GrannyofSix -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/30/2009 9:22:01 AM)

quote:

I am asking for everyone's opinion about an important issue for my fiance and I. We are getting married on a Saturday, but she feels that we still need to go to church the following day. I, however, disagree. I believe that God intended our wedding night and our first day as a couple to be filled with consummation and learning more about each other. In fact, I think He would be dishonored if we didn't spend the day with God by ourselves - in a way, worshipping him through our sex.


I find this very offensive. Sounds like to me that you are obsessed with sex! Her body is not for your use and pleasure only and you might as well accept that before the wedding! Really! Are you marrying her just for sex? What if she had her time of the month starting that day? Would you just die?!

"filled with consummation" - that is unbelievable. You don't have much of an idea of reality, do you?

God would not be dishonored if you didn't spend the say having sex. Never heard of such a thing. I doubt if God is concerned one way or the other, but He IS concerned whether or not you are making love to your wife, or just using her for your own satisfaction - which sounds like that is what you are selfishly wanting to do. I feel for her.

And I sure never heard of "worshipping" God through sex.

Where did you get these weird ideas?



allisonbrett -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/30/2009 12:25:50 PM)

You said your fiancee' feels you "need" to attend church the following morning. Is it a true need or merely a desire to worship as husband and wife for the first time. I can see the desire to worship as husband and wife but the need gives me the impression that she feels that she is not faithful if she misses church. That does sound rather legalistic to me.

My husband and I did not attend church the Sunday morning after we got married. Most do not but head out for the honeymoon. The thought of honoring God through sex seems a bit of a stretch to me from that viewpoint. [;)]



debilyn -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/30/2009 1:39:51 PM)

I've known quite a few couples who chose to attend church the day after their Saturday wedding. I've also known those who didn't. It's a choice you make together.

She may want to simply enjoy a special "first worship" as man and wife. She may feel that church attendance is that important to her walk in Christ. Talk about this together, either in pre-marital counseling or simply start with "why." Working together toward a compromise (sometimes meeting half-way, sometimes one giving in, sometimes the other) is part of what makes marriages work.



rawr.ben -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/30/2009 1:44:59 PM)

As soon as Saturday is over, you lost your freewill.

Go to church. [8D]

And praise God that you have a godly lady that puts Him above all else.



Prairiehiker -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/30/2009 5:58:42 PM)

Question for everyone: Why does almost everyone agrees that the wife should get her way, and the husband should submit to her wishes? Why are we training the woman to lead, or at least to be treated like the princess of the castle and treat the man like what he wants matters at all? How does this create leadership in a man? Are we supposed to accept what Ben said above that his free will is gone as soon as he says I do...and that he submits to her as she leads?

And going to church doesn't mean she loves God. It could mean that that's the only way she knows to worship, when in reality, everything she does in her life should come from a heart that worship God. If her worship is only on Sundays, there's something wrong with her understanding of worship.



rawr.ben -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/30/2009 6:00:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

Question for everyone: Why does almost everyone agrees that the wife should get her way, and the husband should submit to her wishes? Why are we training the woman to lead, or at least to be treated like the princess of the castle and treat the man like what he wants matters at all? How does this create leadership in a man? Are we supposed to accept what Ben said above that his free will is gone as soon as he says I do...and that he submits to her as she leads?


What Ben said was mostly in jest, but the man's reasons for not wanting to go were . . .well, silly. That's why he should listen.



saraimay75 -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/30/2009 8:14:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawr.ben

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

Question for everyone: Why does almost everyone agrees that the wife should get her way, and the husband should submit to her wishes? Why are we training the woman to lead, or at least to be treated like the princess of the castle and treat the man like what he wants matters at all? How does this create leadership in a man? Are we supposed to accept what Ben said above that his free will is gone as soon as he says I do...and that he submits to her as she leads?


What Ben said was mostly in jest, but the man's reasons for not wanting to go were . . .well, silly. That's why he should listen.

Yeah that how I got it. It seem that the OP believes that they will be spending the whole day in bed getting to know each other and that was his reason for not going. His words were "worshiping Him though our sex". No other forms of worship are mentioned.



bolt. -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (6/30/2009 8:29:25 PM)

quote:

Question for everyone: Why does almost everyone agrees that the wife should get her way, and the husband should submit to her wishes?

I believe husbands and wives should submit to one another's wishes. If the wife-to-be had asked this same question, I would have advised her to agree to her husband's wish for a full day of privacy -- to place his wishes above hers, as is right for both spouses in a marriage.



GodsGiddyGirl -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (7/1/2009 1:09:05 AM)

quote:

I believe that God intended our wedding night and our first day as a couple to be filled with consummation and learning more about each other.

I agree with you. Have you shared with her your heart on the issue?

quote:

... she feels that we still need to go to church the following day

As someone already mentioned, maybe a compromise, evening service.

Blessings and congratulations, GG.



GodsGiddyGirl -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (7/1/2009 1:27:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GrannyofSix

I find this very offensive. Sounds like to me that you are obsessed with sex! Her body is not for your use and pleasure only and you might as well accept that before the wedding! Really! Are you marrying her just for sex? What if she had her time of the month starting that day? Would you just die?!

Obsessed ... because he wants to spend intimate time with his wife? That's. Just. Wrong. [sm=comp1.gif]
...........................

Erickssonfamily, may God bless your marriage bed.

Blessings, GG.



Sideways -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (7/1/2009 1:44:21 AM)

Obsessed because he thinks he's going to be having sex with her throughout day, which would be extremely uncomfortable for most females, but I agree that's perhaps to strong a term. I've heard a lot of stories about wedding nights/honeymoon being somewhat disastrous for first-timers, in part because of the tremendous build-up combined with two folks who are brand new at it.

But I think the OP will be fine. I'm still going with the Sunday evening service idea.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Wedding on Sunday, Church on Saturday (7/1/2009 6:00:17 AM)

Yeesh. Go to church. [&:]

Sex is part of getting to know each other and becoming one. It's not what marriage is all about though, frankly. And, yeah, the idea of going at it all the time all day long...not going to happen, unless you don't care for your wife's physical comfort. [&:]

Have your wedding night, go to church, get refreshed, praise God for your marriage, and go back to the hotel. [;)]



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