Is recreational dating a sin (Full Version)

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Prairiehiker -> Is recreational dating a sin (6/29/2009 6:51:14 PM)

I consulted Webster's online dictionary for definition of recreation

1.activity engaged in to amuse oneself<decided to take a bike tour of the island for recreation and relaxation>— see play 1
2 someone or something that provides amusement or enjoyment<roller-skating is great recreation on a rainy afternoon>— see fun 1
3 the act or activity of providing pleasure or amusement especially for the public<water parks have become a significant part of the recreation business>— see entertainment 1

So, if a person is not seeking a romantic relationship or friendship, but enjoys dating for the purpose of entertainment and recreation, do you think it's a sinful behaviour. Again, heavy emphasis on not wanting any romantic entanglement, and or/forming a deep bond of friendship---but the purpose is to seek a person to enjoy and pass the time with very little regard for his/her well being. And no, sexual involvement is not necessary. I've seen this a lot on dating sites, and I'm wondering if there is room for this type of relationships in our Christian lives. Does this fall under the "if it makes one stumble, then don't do it, but it's not a sin" or does it fall under "loving your neighbor as yourself" command?



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/29/2009 6:56:38 PM)

So that everyone knows the "history" behind this question, please see THIS THREAD.



I personally believe that recreational dating, in and of itself, (or casual dating, if one prefers that terminology), is not a sin; not if both people are responsible towards themselves and each other and are not hurting the other one in any way.

It depends on the specific people involved.



solo_soprano23 -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/29/2009 6:59:34 PM)

Well, since I think everyone should have some concern about everyone else, I don't agree wholly. But, as long as both parties know that it's "recreational," I don't have a problem. I'd rather they care about each other in some form, even on a friendship level though.



rawr.ben -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/29/2009 7:02:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: solo_soprano23

Well, since I think everyone should have some concern about everyone else, I don't agree wholly. But, as long as both parties know that it's "recreational," I don't have a problem. I'd rather they care about each other in some form, even on a friendship level though.


I agree; I don't think it is reasonable to think though, that a Christian will have "no concern" for the other.



relady -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/29/2009 7:05:31 PM)

quote:

So, if a person is not seeking a romantic relationship or friendship, but enjoys dating for the purpose of entertainment and recreation, do you think it's a sinful behaviour.
I have absolutely no problem with this. As long as all adults involved know it is for entertainment and recreation - and possibly simple companionship - I can't see the problem.



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/29/2009 7:08:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rawr.ben

quote:

ORIGINAL: solo_soprano23

Well, since I think everyone should have some concern about everyone else, I don't agree wholly. But, as long as both parties know that it's "recreational," I don't have a problem. I'd rather they care about each other in some form, even on a friendship level though.


I agree; I don't think it is reasonable to think though, that a Christian will have "no concern" for the other.
I agree with both of these posts.



stellaluna -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/29/2009 7:19:45 PM)

As long as two consenting adults are having the recreational relationship, then I have no problem with it.



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/29/2009 7:20:16 PM)

quote:

but the purpose is to seek a person to enjoy and pass the time with very little regard for his/her well being


This part I have a problem with. I have no problem with casual dating because the main goal is companionship. But I don't know if what is quoted above is recreational... I'd call it reckless. Even in casual dating, there is regard for the other's well-being. There is respectful, thoughtful behavior. But when there's very little regard for another person's well-being, that crosses the line for me.



stellaluna -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/29/2009 7:53:57 PM)

I read the other thread (fun times) and I just still don't have a problem with adults dating recreationally. (Which shows up as a misspelled word. [&:]) Anyway, I see some different scenarios here:

1) Adult A makes it clear that a relationship is to be casual--and there may or may not be dates with other people. Adult B cheerfully agrees. They have good times together and that's that.
2) Adult A makes it clear that a relationship is to be casual--and there may or may not be dates with other people. Adult B cheerfully agrees, but later decides he/she wants more from the relationship. If Adult A agrees, great; if not, the two part ways. (This scenario could go either direction.)
3) Adult A intends that a relationship will be casual, but doesn't tell Adult B.

There's nothing wrong with 1 or 2. But number 3 is inappropriate and hurtful. Personally, I think some measure of caring is present in any scenario. As a Christian, I think you naturally care about others. But caring doesn't obligate you to date someone exclusively or promise them something you can't follow through with.



navyblueret -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/29/2009 8:37:41 PM)

When I was young, we had a dating system sort of like what you mention, Prairiehiker, only we called it 'Dutch Treat,' when two people desired to do something that would be more interesting, or fun, when more than one is involved. The best Dutch Treat, seemed always to be best, when there were four or more in the group. The word 'Date,' was mutually removed from vocabulary.

No matter the innocence of the beginning, dating can, on occasion, morph into an undesirable situation. A person should ask themself if they want their 'friendly' date to be 'three,' and would you be comfortable with Jesus sitting between the 'daters.' If, both are comfortable with Jesus making a threesome, perhaps the date would be OK.

Prayerfully Ponder, and let the Holy Spirit guide.

In Messiah. Arley



rcjames -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/30/2009 9:54:18 AM)

Is recreational dating a sin

Depends on how you define recreation.

Thank
RC



saraimay75 -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/30/2009 8:46:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcjames

Is recreational dating a sin

Depends on how you define recreation.

Thank
RC

[sm=aside.gif][sm=hammerhead.gif][sm=rollingeyes.gif][sm=smile-l.gif]



Nate79 -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/30/2009 9:41:33 PM)

Perhaps I've missed something, but if neither of the two involved want romance or a deep relationship to develop ... what's the point?



rawr.ben -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/30/2009 9:50:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nate79

Perhaps I've missed something, but if neither of the two involved want romance or a deep relationship to develop ... what's the point?


Have fun?
Connect with another human being?



Nate79 -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (6/30/2009 9:55:13 PM)

Wouldn't that be friendship and not dating? The word "dating" carries with it expectation of future deeper relationship for me. Likely because that's the way I always approached dating until I married my wife.

It's not my intent to say recreational dating is a sin or wrong, I've just never seen the point of investing the time if there's no future in mind.



DaveW -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (7/1/2009 7:08:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcjames

Is recreational dating a sin

Depends on how you define recreation.
It also depends on how you define "sin."

You knew I had to throw that in there, Right [:)]RC???



rcjames -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (7/1/2009 9:37:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaveW

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcjames

Is recreational dating a sin

Depends on how you define recreation.
It also depends on how you define "sin."

You knew I had to throw that in there, Right [:)]RC???


[8D]

Thanks
RC



car2ner -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (7/1/2009 2:11:27 PM)

I used to hang out with the guys. The problem was that sometimes the guy had something else in mind than just hanging out. There is no bible verse in particular that saz, "thou shalt not". It all depends on what someone wants to get out of the encounter. I don't like the part of the definition about not being concerned about someone else's well being, even if we are getting together for "yucks and grins" I would care enough to hope the time was enjoyable. To do anything else is self centered... aka sinful?



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (7/1/2009 3:35:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nate79

Wouldn't that be friendship and not dating? The word "dating" carries with it expectation of future deeper relationship for me. Likely because that's the way I always approached dating until I married my wife.

It's not my intent to say recreational dating is a sin or wrong, I've just never seen the point of investing the time if there's no future in mind.

I agree with the bolded part. I go out with guy friends all the time with the intention of hanging out and sharing a common interest; not to get to know them better for marriage.

If I'm dating someone I want to see if we're compatible enough to wed.

To me that's the difference. *shrug*



Bluethread -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (7/2/2009 2:00:22 PM)

i may be seen as "outdated". I was considered outdated even when I was young, so this is nothing new. However, if two people of the opposite sex are "hanging out" just for the fun of it, wouldn't adding another person or two be more fun? Therefore, I think it is not wise to be alone with any one of the opposite sex who is not a close relative or one's spouse.



debarbarac -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (7/2/2009 8:17:48 PM)

quote:

Wouldn't that be friendship and not dating? The word "dating" carries with it expectation of future deeper relationship for me. Likely because that's the way I always approached dating until I married my wife.


I agree with this as well! If you are hanging out with someone just for fun, then why not with friends. My thoughts are - if you are not in it for the long time (because you think you could marry this person) then you are wasting your time and the other person's time. Also, some people say -no strings attached- but people do end up getting hurt even when they say that is what they want. You get emotionally attached to someone that you in a romantic relationship with. If you are not ready for marriage, why date?



Prairiehiker -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (7/2/2009 8:55:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nate79

Wouldn't that be friendship and not dating? The word "dating" carries with it expectation of future deeper relationship for me. Likely because that's the way I always approached dating until I married my wife.

It's not my intent to say recreational dating is a sin or wrong, I've just never seen the point of investing the time if there's no future in mind.

I agree with the bolded part. I go out with guy friends all the time with the intention of hanging out and sharing a common interest; not to get to know them better for marriage.

If I'm dating someone I want to see if we're compatible enough to wed.

To me that's the difference. *shrug*


That's my point. If we're not romantically interested, then why can't we be friends? Why do we have to call it dating? Dating carries a romantic connotation and if the romance is absent, and friendship is absent, then to some degree, isn't that using people for entertainment and recreation?

I'm not against male/femaler or opposite sex friendship. I have had a lot of close friendship with the opposite sex where we even did a lot of one on one activities together....even hiking together. It was friendship thoguh and not dating.



makarizo -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (7/2/2009 9:32:26 PM)

if my female friend, whom I am dating as a friend, has trouble with the word "date" in a friendship only context..... I would be so thankful that she communicated that to me, and would choose to call it something else... problem solved.

if there was lust, or some hidden agenda, something dishonest or fake, then I would guess sin is involved somewhere.



DaveW -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (7/6/2009 8:36:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

If we're not romantically interested, then why can't we be friends? Why do we have to call it dating? Dating carries a romantic connotation and if the romance is absent, and friendship is absent, then to some degree, isn't that using people for entertainment and recreation?
I have written on here before about inviting to church the kid sister of one of my HS classmates who was visiting my college and went back home and told everyone she went on a date with me.



Focusing -> RE: Is recreational dating a sin (7/6/2009 11:16:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaveW

I have written on here before about inviting to church the kid sister of one of my HS classmates who was visiting my college and went back home and told everyone she went on a date with me.

LOL ... I remember reading that [:D]

I went out for coffee with a guy friend a couple summers ago, someone from my small group. We went out as friends and nothing more. Coffee. Talk. Nothing romantic. No hidden agenda. I was surprised to be "informed" that it was a date by someone who wasn't even there.

"Is recreational dating a sin?" can only be answered by a person's own perception of what DATING is. And I think the forums have made it pretty clear that there are many definitions of what a DATE is.

When we toss around the word "date" the way we do these days ... our kids have a play "date" ... my girlfriends and I have a "date" to go to the opera ... it does tend to confuse things. Are play "dates" really parents setting up their kids for future marriages, are the girlfriends having a romantic interlude ... or are "dates" simply an appointed time to get together?



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