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Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/6/2009 10:55:27 PM
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bricole77
Posts: 108
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From: Grand Haven, MI
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I was wondering, do you all believe it's wrong to only be attrcted to certain physical traits that make up how a person looks. For example, being only attracted to blondes or brunettes.
Ever since I can remember, I have been attracted to certain physical qualities in a guy. And all the men I date have these same characteristics. Is that wrong of me, to profile like that? Bearing in mind that I still look for the qualities I want in a Christian man.
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/6/2009 11:04:35 PM
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ManimalX
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If it gets to the point that you obsess over it, then yes, it is a problem. However, we are all "wired" differently, and there is nothig wrong with having a preference.
That being said, my take on this issue has made a lot of people mad at me, but I think it is the most biblical: any Christian should be able to have a successful and happy marriage with any other Christian. If we practice REAL love, anyone is compatible with anyone. The problem is that we get things backwards. We act based upon feelings, when in God's reality feelings are the result of actions. When you act in love toward another person, you begin to FEEL the attraction. When you feel angry or apathetic and act that way, then you will always end up ultimately feeling that way.
So, if you aren't obsessing about a specific physical trait, then there is no problem. However, if you begin rejecting godly men because they are 5'10" instead of 6'5", then it is my opinion that you need to reexamine your priorities.
Just my $.02, adjusted for inflation and Obamanomics.
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"And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth." - 2nd Timothy 2:24,25
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/6/2009 11:07:51 PM
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DoveMinistries
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If you meet the right person, it want matter if they have hair or not. Some things are out of our control. I thought I knew what I wanted then I meet my wife. Sparks flew~~~~~~~and still do everyday.
God Bless
R Dove
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The Consummation of Love,
Love has been perfected amoung us in this; that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 1John 4:17
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/6/2009 11:10:50 PM
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a_sparrow
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I agree that people can obsess about particular physical traits. If we are hyper-focused on any items on our personal wish lists, including physical traits, to the point that we do not pay attention to what God may have to say to us about the matter, our preferences may have morphed into idols. In general though, I don't think there is anything wrong with preferring a certain "look."
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Elizabeth
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/7/2009 2:06:03 AM
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MrFribbles
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I'm gonna agree with those who say that "types" are OK as long as they don't go too far. Like, if you like blonds so much that you absolute will not date a brunette. I would also like to add that God doesn't want us marrying someone we're repulsed by. He built us to be attracted to our spouse, not just tolerating the way they look.
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"To the humble man, and to the humble man alone, the sun is really a sun; to the humble man, and to the humble man alone, the sea is really a sea."
-G. K. Chesterton
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/7/2009 4:15:06 PM
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Bluethread
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If you wish to limit the pool of eligable of spouses, that is fine. However, do not blame Adonai if the you do not marry or the one you choose does not turn out to be a good fit.
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"Show me wherein I have errored and I will hold my tongue." Iyov(Job)
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/8/2009 2:06:49 AM
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zamdad
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quote:
bricole77
I was wondering, do you all believe it's wrong to only be attrcted to certain physical traits that make up how a person looks. For example, being only attracted to blondes or brunettes.
It means you understand you have a template. Now you need to determin what character qualities fit within your template.
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Never make someone else a priority while you remain an option!
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/8/2009 10:07:27 AM
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iluvatar
Posts: 3045
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ManimalX
So, if you aren't obsessing about a specific physical trait, then there is no problem. However, if you begin rejecting godly men because they are 5'10" instead of 6'5", then it is my opinion that you need to reexamine your priorities.
I think you picked a poor example. Guys who are 5'10" have it a lot easier than guys who are 6'5". Go into any clothing store, any shoe store or any car dealer, and a guy who's 5'10" can easily find something that fits, while the tall guy has to worry about sleeves being too short, shoes being too small, legs being too cramped, or hitting his head on the roof (also a problem in basements, old houses, and dining rooms w/ chandeliers). See also: rollercoasters.
So ya know what, hold out for the tall guy - he's got enough troubles in life, he doesn't need to suffer for the sake of the average guy, again. 
-Your friendly neighborhood 6'5" guy.
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Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones.
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/8/2009 10:25:20 AM
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Lapidoth
Posts: 5726
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: OKLAHOMA
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Preferences are good. Obsessions are bad.
My preference has always been black hair (I guess brunette).
My first girl friend had brown hair.
My second girl friend had blonde hair.
My last girl friend (yes, now wife) has black hair.
To me, it may be a preference that gets your attention (or, attraction)
but the "real" qualities are what cinches the deal.
Of course, all three were from the same church as I.
One was three years younger, one a year older, and the last four years younger.
So, there's looks, age differences, actions, etc.
There is the biblical way, and then there are the ways of the people.
I've seen very few that follow the biblical way. I was fortunate that
mine turned out kinda that way. I never "looked" for another, but I
feel God put me with the right one.
Biblically, I know "she" is the right one because "she" is a "female."
Since I'm a "male" that makes "her" the one God put me with. lol
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Why does He keep quoting Torah? Doesn't He know He's about to abolish it?
http://www.tedpearce.com/Videos/TheForgottenpeople.html
BARUCH HABA BASHEM YAHUAH
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/8/2009 2:17:36 PM
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bricole77
Posts: 108
Joined: 7/28/2006
From: Grand Haven, MI
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ManimalX
If it gets to the point that you obsess over it, then yes, it is a problem. However, we are all "wired" differently, and there is nothig wrong with having a preference.
That being said, my take on this issue has made a lot of people mad at me, but I think it is the most biblical: any Christian should be able to have a successful and happy marriage with any other Christian. If we practice REAL love, anyone is compatible with anyone. The problem is that we get things backwards. We act based upon feelings, when in God's reality feelings are the result of actions. When you act in love toward another person, you begin to FEEL the attraction. When you feel angry or apathetic and act that way, then you will always end up ultimately feeling that way.
So, if you aren't obsessing about a specific physical trait, then there is no problem. However, if you begin rejecting godly men because they are 5'10" instead of 6'5", then it is my opinion that you need to reexamine your priorities.
Just my $.02, adjusted for inflation and Obamanomics.
Its more generalized like I'm attracted to the tall, dark and handsome;) But I have dated almost every race and I wouldn't be opposed to dating someone thats short, with blonde hair but I def feel the attraction has to be there. And your attracted to what your attracted to....
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~*britanni *~
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/8/2009 2:19:11 PM
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bricole77
Posts: 108
Joined: 7/28/2006
From: Grand Haven, MI
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Bluethread
If you wish to limit the pool of eligable of spouses, that is fine. However, do not blame Adonai if the you do not marry or the one you choose does not turn out to be a good fit.
Yeah maybe so. I will be praying for God to change my desires when looking for a mate if it is his will.
_____________________________
~*britanni *~
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/10/2009 7:27:56 AM
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serasvictoria
Posts: 61
Joined: 7/10/2009
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i think it's alright to have a "type" because truthfully we all have a certain something or another that we're attracted to. but i don't think we're limited either,just because we have a "type". we can always be attracted to things outside of our "types" as well.
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Ghosts Were People Too
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RE: Is it wrong to have a "type"? - 7/10/2009 8:10:35 AM
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makarizo
Posts: 2520
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"types" is for the a weak mentality.
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