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No communication - 7/13/2009 8:15:48 PM
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just4prz
Posts: 3
Joined: 7/13/2009
From: Rocky Mount, NC
Status: offline
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I have been saved for 23 years and married to my husband for 21 years and we have trouble communicating. He feels like if he asked me a question or answered a question we have communicated. I want to be intimate with my husband in communication but it is frustrating me really bad. The sad thing about it is he says he prays, but how can you pray to a loving God and can't communicate with your spouse? When we go places we don't talk and that makes the trip extra long. When he sees that it upsets me then he says let's talk, by then I don't want to. I also have a 23 year old daughter(with special needs) that he totally ignores. I have been going through this for all these years, can someone tell me what to do. I am waiting to exhale. Also to all that read this--pray for me.
Thanks and to all--be blessed.
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RE: No communication - 7/13/2009 8:30:38 PM
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NightJay0044
Posts: 35
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
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Hi I pray for you and also to remind you of love.
1 Corinthians 13 4-7
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres
So just a little reminder there a way to act when waiting on another person.
Hope everything goes good.
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RE: No communication - 7/13/2009 8:46:45 PM
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bolt.
Posts: 1765
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: Canada
Status: online
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Why don't you just ask him questions, and listen to his answers? You seem to need the conversation, so I think the best thing would be for you to just go at it yourself.
Be blunt, "Honey, I'm feeling disconnected from you and want to have some random chit chat for a while. Is this a good time for you?" <Wait for his response, then pick a topic and start talking and asking questions> "I was listening to the radio about global warming, and I found it very intersting. Have you been hearing much about it? What are your thoughts?"
I don't really see how not being a chatty guy would have anything to do with his prayer life. God loves the brief prayes as much as the lengthy ones. There's no reason here for you to be implying a 'frown' on his spiritual vitality.
As far as your daughter, try to encourage him to actively do stuf with her or for her. He doesn't need to talk to be involved with her or show that he loves her.
_____________________________
Are you having trouble getting your daily dose of the life changing Word of God?
Let my friend Brian at Daily Audio Bible help you too.
>>audio link<<
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RE: No communication - 7/13/2009 8:57:45 PM
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just4prz
Posts: 3
Joined: 7/13/2009
From: Rocky Mount, NC
Status: offline
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I do ask the questions but get no answer or I get shrugged. I failed to say that he leaves to go to work and don't tell me where he is(he does construction work) and has a cell phone and never calls home to check on anyone. And when I call him, he can't talk because of the work and when he goes out the door in the morning--don't say I'm gone--don't say anything. But thanks for your comment. There is a lot more to this too.
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RE: No communication - 7/13/2009 9:10:49 PM
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bolt.
Posts: 1765
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: Canada
Status: online
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I'm just not clear as to why you would not take the initiative to gain what you desire.
If you want to know when he's leaving, stand by the door and hand him a coffee in a travel cup on his way out. Or put a bell on the door and shout, "Goodbye!" when you hear it opening for him to go. Or find another solution that works -- one that doesn't involve you wishfully hoping that your strong-silent-type is going to take the initiative to open his mouth first thing in the morning.
I'd never advise bothering him at work and I don't know why he should interrupt his job to check on you doing your job (I assume your 'job' is to care for your child/ren) when he's perfectly capable of doing his and you are perfectly capable of doing yours. Do you not believe someone would call his home if he got hurt or something? He answers the phone in case you are having an emergency, or if you need something quick that can't wait until he gets home. That's what a cell call on a worksite should be about. What motivates you to want to touch base in the middle of a shift?
I'm also not sure why you want to know where the work site is -- but if you want to know, why not just ask him? In the morning as he leaves, or in the evening at supper or before you go to bed. Are you saying that if you ask, "Where's your work site tomorrow?" He just shrugs? Then you'd say, "I'd really appreciate an answer, if you know." And he'd ignore you? And you say, "This is a problem for me. I'm hurt by the way you are ignoring and disregarding my simple question. Do you really not know where tomorrow's site is? Where are you going to drive to first-thing then?"
_____________________________
Are you having trouble getting your daily dose of the life changing Word of God?
Let my friend Brian at Daily Audio Bible help you too.
>>audio link<<
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