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terrified child - 7/21/2009 10:54:06 PM
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toryjoe1109
Posts: 50
Joined: 4/19/2009
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I need to know what to do. Here is a little history. My niece is seven. Her father just moved in with his girlfriend. His girlfriend is a very nice young girl but struggles with being a mom for the first time to a seven year old. (this is understandable) My nieces mother has three other children and has never had any morals or values. There has been a lot of drama with them in the past dealing with custody. Now my brother in law has full custody but still lets my niece go to her moms. I just found out that she has been getting up several times a night terrified. When asked why she is so scared, she said her moms lets them watch horror movies including Chucky. I am so appalled. Someone said to call child protection. What would you do?
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Love covers all sin.
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RE: terrified child - 7/22/2009 7:45:17 AM
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BlessedMamaofmany
Posts: 1709
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Just north of nowhere
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You can't call CPS because the mother is an idiot...sorry.
However, I would encourage the dad to either limit the time with mom, or make it supervised (ie, visits in a public place)
Since he has full custody, he can decide how she visits mom. And while I don't think he should take her completely away from mom, he can and probably should change the way she visits.
And..has he talked to her? What's to keep him from calling the mom and asking her to knock it off with the scary movies since niece obviously can't handle it.
_____________________________
Atheism: The belief that there was nothing, nothing happened to nothing, then nothing magically exploded for no reason, creating everything, then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself into self-replicating bits that then turned into dinosaurs
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RE: terrified child - 7/22/2009 9:25:38 AM
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bolt.
Posts: 1761
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: Canada
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quote:
What's to keep him from calling the mom and asking her to knock it off with the scary movies since niece obviously can't handle it.
That seems like the best plan, for a first step. A full-custody parent has a lot of power based on the idea that if the other won't agree to 'his terms' then he doesn't have to allow the visits. Using that possibility should keep mom on the straight and narrow.
Since you're already involved, you might recommend your brother-in-law to do that. (Are you sister to the niece's mom? or wife to the brother of her dad?)
... On another note, I'm wondering how you got involved here? It's important to children (especially children under custody tension already) that they have some privacy and dignity in their struggles. Am I understanding correctly that the now-step-parenting-girlfriend is asking you for your advice? If so, that's a good thing, to have a supportive relationship... But if this is one of those family-wide gossip-based problem-solving collaborations... I'd advise you strongly not to be involved in that sort of thing.
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