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I am struggling... - 7/22/2009 8:59:13 PM
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UBarW
Posts: 3
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline
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Demographics: 50 yo, married 26 years this fall. Two boys, and one foster daughter. I dont smoke, drink, or chase women ;-)
I have been out of work since December. I survived 5 rounds of layoffs, only to be the one in my dept to help close the company down as it folded. 11 years there...
I am fortunate to have a wife that makes much more than me. I have always tried to do my share by earning on the side when I can, being actively involved every day with my boys (and the foster daughter since this past memorial day weekend! she's wonderful...). I also try to be a good husband for her, lots of room to improve, and I work at it.
But...
As this unemployment thing unfolds, the stresses are great. Stress on my dear wife to "not lose the job", when she has always been a hard worker. Stress on me as I work at accepting the fact that my career is likely never gonna be the same. Age 50, in a field thats dying, cant figger out what else to do that will get me back where I was in a reasonable amount of time, etc. You can imagine the rest I suppose. I am doing what I can around the house, trying to make a buck when I can, working full time with my FD...
Over the last 3.5 years, I have had a number of medical issues-4 major surgeries. Whats the point there? My body is failing me, my work is gone, which takes me to this week...
I am so struggling with my self worth. I feel it boiling inside me, not like lava, but like turbulence. My heart is not at peace. I dont know what to do with myself, to be a full partner in this household and family.
I am listening, Lord. Guide me. Show me your will...
_____________________________
Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act
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RE: I am struggling... - 7/22/2009 9:32:32 PM
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musicplayer
Posts: 38
Joined: 6/1/2005
Status: offline
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Hang in there brother!
Romans 8:28
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RE: I am struggling... - 7/22/2009 10:02:19 PM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 493
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline
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Hello UBarW
I have some idea what you're going through. I am 72 and say the profession I worked in for many hears shrink. At the end of 1998, I got out of the field and went into a small business. Now I'm retired and that has pressures of its own.
I realize that things are changing in addition to down turns in employment. The newspaper industry, for one, is in a giant change. I see the entire industry going digital, which makes is rough for paper companies that make newsprint. I suppose it would take half the people to go digital, which raises additional woes.
I suppose the only thing you can do is to draw closer to the Lord. He understands that unemployment affects men more than women. So, seek His face. He doesn't want anyone to beg bread or live an unproductive life.
You might also see if you can hook up with a men's group. Perhaps someone can join you so you're not going through this alone. I feel that men can minister to each other more effectively here as they understand you situation. Yes, a wife can help because she is a help-mate. But it's hard for women to appreciate issues that men face.
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RE: I am struggling... - 7/22/2009 10:46:38 PM
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mrtigger
Posts: 272
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: UBarW
I am so struggling with my self worth. I feel it boiling inside me, not like lava, but like turbulence. My heart is not at peace. I dont know what to do with myself, to be a full partner in this household and family.
You sound like a pretty decent guy. The job loss does not change that you are a decent guy..
I'm 51 and not in your position (yet). But my company is outsourcing and I would not be surprised to be laid off before too much longer.
I will keep my job as long as I can but part of me is looking forward to a pink slip. A new job probably won't make the bucks I am now but it will be a chance to do something different.
So, maybe this is your chance to do something different. Maybe go off on a totally different career path.
_____________________________
mr tigger
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RE: I am struggling... - 7/22/2009 11:04:10 PM
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APZR
Posts: 1053
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: GA
Status: offline
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Are you and active firefighter? If so, you might consider doing what I did when I was a firefighter... American Heart Assoc. BLS instructor. Any day care, private DR office, and church school MUST have annual training. If you have any building experience, and not many firefighters don't, you could also teach Continuing Ed classes for builders, real estate agents, appraises, and home inspectors. Firefighters have quite a unique view of different building techniques. When getting older, it's is much more physically pleasing to teach rather than do, and emotionally pleasing to remain active. 
_____________________________
Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: I am struggling... - 7/23/2009 9:59:05 AM
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UBarW
Posts: 3
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
jn1010lf
Its interesting you find my post, my field is printing, too. From the commercial side, offset. My Dad was a printer, and its all I've ever known, from age 6. I saw it coming about two and half years ago and started looking, but the right place never popped up. Shocker there.
Today, with a decent nights sleep in me, I feel a lil bit better.
I need to just trust the God's plan is in place, the path is set, I just need to make the footsteps one at a time.
I need to keep myself together, as that is what my family needs.
Best wishes for a fine day...
_____________________________
Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act
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RE: I am struggling... - 7/23/2009 11:05:45 AM
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Simway
Posts: 173
Joined: 4/12/2005
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Don't allow Satan to use your feeling of self worth again you. He will if he can. One of his biggest weapons is discouragement. Turst the Lord, and look to him for strength and guidance. He will provide away, someway, somehow, all is ask is to be trusted. Talke to him everyday, and stay in his word. Praying for you .
Simway
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RE: I am struggling... - 7/23/2009 1:51:16 PM
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AslansChild
Posts: 66
Joined: 6/30/2005
Status: offline
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OP I am in a similar situation. I believe any guy over the age of 40 is. I was in a good job, loved my work, my boss was a great guy and things were going well. I was working for a large mortgage company. Well the whole mess hit a few years ago and I moved on. The first company I went to was a disorganized group of "experts" with an OCD Vice Pres of Operations. The person who hired me went out on Materinity leave (she was promoted as an incentive to have her come back). Once she left I was on my own cleaning up her mess. This lasted about 6 months and I found something else, layoffs came and I jumped ship to avoid being caught. Guess where I wound up? Back at the mortgage comapny as a contractor (IT). I think my problem is I am not trusting in God, I made all three moves based on my fear of loosing a job, maybe unfounded. The one thing I am seeing is all companies will cut quality, comfort, and respect in order to keep money in the pockets of the VP levels and above.
All I can say is look to God, something I am hoping to do.
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RE: I am struggling... - 8/12/2009 4:34:56 PM
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SteveyP
Posts: 28
Joined: 11/20/2007
Status: offline
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Hey Brother UBarW,
Been there - here is what my wife and I found out: By learning to cook simple meals, by gardening a small plot, by taking care of all of the running around, including shopping, by doing all of the things a wife and mother does, we were able to save a considerable amount of money...and frustration and tiredness and .... The amount of money we saved, because we also changed our spending lifestyle, was nothing to sneeze at. On an hourly basis, it isn't very good, but the time I had for home, ministry and church was well worth the low pay. Don't discount how much money you can "earn" simply by learning and taking on many, if not most, of the house spouse tasks that need to be accomplished. It is very rewarding, especially the time it gives you with the kids.
Not only all of that, but you are doing this while seeking God and His journey for you. Who knows what opportunities will come your way that aren't on your radar right now. I think it is really exciting. 
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