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Need some good solid advice - 7/23/2009 1:11:26 PM
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kmd441
Posts: 8
Joined: 7/23/2009
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I have been married for 6 years. My husband dated for 5 years prior to getting married. We have a five year old and a three year old. We are both Christians and I felt we have a good marriage until recently.
Within the last few months I have been checking up on him by reading text messages. I did this only after I noticed he was text messaging this one person quite often. So I just had to see what was so important. This person happens to be an 18 year old girl who just graduated from a school that he is affiliated with.
So it started with him texting her. He always initiates the text messages, not her. He wants to know what she is doing or who she is with. Then asking her to meet for lunch and he invited another person to join them but that other person could not make it. Well he didn't tell me about meeting this girl for lunch. I even went home for lunch just prior to him meeting with her. that day. I started my lunch and he tells me he just ate. I already knew he was about to go eat lunch with this girl. I let it go this time.
I later mentioned to him that I thought his texting her was kind of weird and he explained that she was a student who jsut graduated. Apparently during the school year she needed some support because of problems at home. He has a big heart and likes to help people so I blew it off, well kind of, I still kept tabs.
A second time he invites her to lunch, alone and doesn't tell me or invite me. I said nothing. I later told him that I thought him texting her all the time was not normal and that I thought it was weird. I even broke down crying because I was so upset. I told him that I felt he was hiding things from me, especially after he began deleting her text messages.
A third time I see on his texts where he invites her to lunch. I go home for lunch just before he is due to leave to go meet her for lunch. My mood is a little down at this point and he notices something is wrong. He asks if I want to have lunch and I tell him no becuase I was busy. I go on back to work, but call him about twenty minutes before he is supposed to meet with he and ask if he still wants to have lunch. So I meet him for lunch. I was thinking oh cool I get to meet this girl and see what all this is about. Not. He texted her right after I agreed to meet him for lunch and said he had to cancel with her. In the same text he tells her "same time, same place" tomorrow.
So... I go to lunch with some friends the next day at the same place he is supposed to meet this girl. I timed it to where I would be leaving as they walk in. Sure enough I leave, she is walking in and he is pulling into the parking lot. As I walk to my car he apparently doesn't see me. I see him look down at his phone and he heads straight to his car and drives off. So I leave. I later look at his text messages and the girl sent him a message saying "your wife is here" and he says "wanna go somewhere else". She tells him that I am gone and he says "I'm coming back". After I read these texts my heart drops and all feelings I have ever had for him completely left me.
The next day, he knew something was wrong with me. He asks what and I tell him that I was hurt, humiliated and disrespected. I told him what I saw the day before and that I saw him leave. He says that this girl is affraid of me. I asked him why in the world would she be affraid of me and told him that I was his wife and he should consider my feelings over hers. He assures me that there is nothing there and that she is just a student that had hard times. I sat there and cried in front of him, something he hardly ever sees me do. I told him that I truly considered leaving him and he sat there as if I was overracting over this. He did say he was sorry, but I just didn't feel it.
He is off at a school this week. I checked last night and saw where he sent 12 texts to her last night, after he had spoken to me.
So now I find myself obsessing over this. I am constantly checking his email, texts messages and Facebook. Is there something wrong with me? Am I overreacting? Should I let it go just because he assures me that he will not cheat on me? How do I expain to him that by him reaching out for attention from other women, which is what I think this is, is serously hurting my self esteem?
Anyone have any advice for me. I don't know how else to get my thoughts through to him.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/23/2009 1:22:09 PM
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Conundrum
Posts: 85
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Where there's smoke, there's fire. Something smells fishy in Denmark. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...
This man needs accountability... NOW. Make an appointment with your pastor for both of you. This has to come out into the open and be exposed to the light of day.
Even if (and it's a HUGE "if") nothing is happening, it's a deceitful and wrong relationship and must be dealt with. He's putting the wants of this girl above your needs. The moment an outside relationship causes strife within the marriage, it should be squashed.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/23/2009 1:23:11 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
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This relationship is WAY off the mark. he seems to be having an emotional affair (hopefully it is all that there is so far)with her which may well become more and you are perfectly justified in being very concerned.
If I were you I would ask that he stop ALL contact with this girl immediatly, whether it be texts, phone calls or meeting. It is ALL wrong and very dangerous. If he sneaking around seeing this teenager behind your back and neither of them are wanting you to find out, then it has gone way too far. The boundaries have been well and truly crossed.He shouldnt be seeing another women for lunch or a meal behind your back.
tell him that you want this to stop now,and if he doesnt then go to a mature Christian person, maybe an elder or maybe your pastor, and ask for their advice. Maybe suggest going to a counsellor together.Get an older mature Christian guy to talk to him, make him accountable, and warn him of the dangers.
If he is a worker at this college then it may well have repurcussions for him if it gets out anyway. I know she has now left college but how long has this been going on for? Also what is she doing sneaking aound with a married man? She has every reason to be frightened of you, she is playing around with your husband.
It is NOT his place to be seeing this girl supposedly to help her with her problems. That may be how it started out, but it has now gone past that.
If she needs help, then she should go to her friends, family, or to see a counsellor.The fact that she felt guiilty about seeing him with you there, shows that she knows it is secret and she shouldnt be doing it. I think he is playing you for a fool and lying to you.You are his wife and entilled to be told the truth.
I am so sorry for all this,It must be so painful, but please act now.he is bound to deny anything, he doesnt want to stop seeing her does he.
Dont let it go, it may well just get more serious and he needs to stop acting like a single teenager and start acting like a husband and father.Nip it in the bud.Get godly help asap
< Message edited by herestoresmysoul -- 7/23/2009 1:49:59 PM >
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/23/2009 1:31:36 PM
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bananaboat
Posts: 23
Joined: 12/3/2008
From: near buffalo
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first --hugs and prayers for you-- second i agree with the other posters--it is wrong, and even if it is innocent now--he is playing with fire, and you should be his first concern
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/23/2009 1:46:25 PM
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laura...
Posts: 3280
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
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quote:
Is there something wrong with me? Am I overreacting? Should I let it go just because he assures me that he will not cheat on me? How do I expain to him that by him reaching out for attention from other women, which is what I think this is, is serously hurting my self esteem?
No, you are not overreacting. Your husband is having an affair.
If you can, print out the text messages. Set up an appointment with your pastor for you and your husband. Confront him about the texts there.
If it were me, I'd show up at the restaurant after they've arrived and about half way through their meal.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/23/2009 2:43:01 PM
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truthrevealed
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Your husband, whether having a sexual affair at this point I do not know. Based upon what you've said he's having an affair of another sort which will lead to infidelity. You instinctively know this right? Don't be saitisfied until you have made clear to him, point blank that you know this! Don't allow rationalizing, justifying, excuses, pretense, lies, pleadings, reverse psychology(somehow blaming you) none of it deter you from believing that his behavior is indeed foul and must be confronted. I'm so so sorry that you are dealing with this.
INSIST, that every and all communication with her cease....NOW! And hold on, God is with you!
_____________________________
I'll tell the world....where--ever I go. That I, have found, a Savior....and He's sweet I know!!!
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/23/2009 2:52:13 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: online
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Another thought, if he INSISTS that he has to see her to help her with her problems, suggest that you both go, after all, you are the women and may well be more help than he is. Obviously he wont agree to this, but it will call his bluff and prevent him using this excuse again.
As the previous poster said, DONT let him make you out to be paranoid. You have EVERY reaons to be very concerned and every right as his wife, to do all that you can to stop it and protect your marriage.NO ONE or NOTHING should be allowed to come between a husband and wife.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/23/2009 3:13:32 PM
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doinkdom
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From: The higher lowcountry
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There is good solid advice in the previous posts. Heed their advice...it might save your marriage before this relationship destroys it.
_____________________________
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.
They are consumed in twelve minutes.
Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence.
~Erma Bombeck
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/23/2009 5:16:32 PM
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bolt.
Posts: 1759
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: Canada
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Stop obsessing and worrying. That's not productive. It's inviting his problem into your heart and having a dance-party with it. That doesn't solve anything.
What solves this sort of thing is boundaries, facts and choices.
Fact: You are not the kind of woman who is comfortable with various aspects of this kind of relationship, even if it is a ministry based on compassion, as he says. It's a simple question of demographics. He's older and married, she's young and female... and that just doesn't sit right with you. Your husband must accept and deal with this fact about his wife.
Choice: You choose not to overlook, squash, get used to or try to change your reaction. If you wanted to, you might be able to, but you choose not to. You believe your instinct is both wise and godly, and you have no intention of trying to get over it. Your husband must accept and deal with this fact about his wife.
Boundary Possibility: You wish this relationship to be terminated. You are willing to allow him to do it compassionately. He may write her a letter or email (which you will read), or have a text, phone or in-person conversation (where you will be nearby enough to hear) to break the news to her. He is to be perfectly clear that she is never to contact him again, but he can be as kind as he likes, and you are willing to 'take the fall' for 'making him do it' without taking offense. He will then, in your presence, block her incoming number(s) and emails -- on permanent delete.
Boundary Possibility: You wish the one-on-one private elements of this relationship to be terminated. You are willing to deal with him continuing to minister to the girl if he does so always in a theesome, if he tells you in advance of his intent to meet with her, if he carrys on his phone conversations out loud, with you in the room, or in text with you right there. He will be open, un-defensive and un-resentful in his attitude towards your oversight, and he will be willing to disclose to you, as far as you are interested, the substance of their discussions. There is no place for confidentiality.
Your husband must deal with your boundaries.
Once you have chosen your boundary, you need to tell him -- without crying, yelling, shaming or incriminating -- what you want him to do about this. Do not defend your choices or negotiate. Do not let him tell you to be more sensible or whatever. You have made your wishes clear, and that is all you are interested in doing. You are telling him what it takes to remain in a happy marriage to you. Nothing else is relevant. Tell him that you will be checking on this area of his life thoroughly and often for the next while.
If he chooses not to conduct himself in keeping with these boundaries, you also need to know what you are going to do about it -- so that you can do it calmly and without creating a crisis of relationship. It may be that you will make a phone call to the girl. It may be that you will contact a pastor. It may be that you will go and spend a night elsewhere to give him space to think about who and what he is risking. It may be that you go for a long walk alone, whether he likes it or not. It may be simply that you tell him out loud, "That choice of yours cut me to the core, and I feel like I'm dying inside. I wish you cared more about maintaining the strength of the love between us."
There are a wide variety of choices and plans that will give a different level of 'backbone' to your boundary -- whatever you choose needs to be proportional -- but most importantly it needs to be something you can and will do, and you need to choose it in advance. It must be firmly in your mind well before any incident comes up, so that you can act on your plan, rather than degrading yourself and your relationship by an impromptu reaction.
So... leave of agitating yourself like a washing machine. Decide what you want, and make yourself clear. That's all it takes.
_____________________________
Are you having trouble getting your daily dose of the life changing Word of God?
Let my friend Brian at Daily Audio Bible help you too.
>>audio link<<
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/24/2009 2:02:40 PM
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kmd441
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Thanks for all of the advice. Just about every thing all of you suggested is what I already knew and or feel. I just needed to hear it from someone else to make sure that I am not overreacting. It is difficult to talk about this with my friends and I don't have family in this area.
Thanks for the kind words and advice. May God bless each and everyone of you and the lives of those that you touch.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/24/2009 11:25:22 PM
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MowTin
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Your story is an example of the problems that opposite gender friendships can pose to a marriage. You have to put your foot down and end this "friendship." And in the future it should be CLEAR. Absolutely no female friends and no ministering to young girls.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/25/2009 11:33:17 AM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MowTin
Your story is an example of the problems that opposite gender friendships can pose to a marriage. You have to put your foot down and end this "friendship." And in the future it should be CLEAR. Absolutely no female friends and no ministering to young girls.
Agree 100%. There have been quite a lot of disagreements on this forum on this subject of boundaries for husbands and wives and many have disagreed wiht me when I have stated that there needs to be strict boundaries about metting with, counselling, and having meals with people of the opposite sex.
This case just reinforces what I havs said. This man should never have been counselling or meeting alone with ithis girl in the first place, If she had problems at college she should have been quickly directed by this man to a female member of staff who could have helped her. it is never the place of a man to counsel or meet with a woman in this way.
husbannds and wives need to avoid this sort of situation to aviod all this pain that is being caused in the marriage.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/25/2009 12:02:09 PM
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bolt.
Posts: 1759
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From: Canada
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I'm one of the ones who disagrees with you on this, herestoresmysoul, because I don't believe that all women have a problem with their men doing such things. I certianly don't. The boundaries required are negotiated within the relationship by the people in the relationship.
This woman is not comfortable. The man in this thread is married to this woman. The man needs to respect the boundaries of his own wife -- or he is not loving her as he is called to.
It is akin to if a woman is married to a medical doctor. If she does not want him to do nude examinations of women, because she is uncomfortable with the idea, he can respect her, or he can convince her, but he can not ignore her. But a doctor who's wife has no such discomfort with the idea has no such boundary in his life or practice.
Personally, I think that women who are completely uncomfortable with any women being friends with or ministered to by their husbands are just as rediculous as a wife who would be uncomfortable with normal doctorly exposure to nudity. Being good friends with, and ministering to, the opposite gender are important parts of Chruch life and any ministry.
But in this case, there are elements of secrecy and exclusivity that warrent her discomfort... and even if there were not such elements, every wife is entitled to her own discomforts (reasonable or not) and the limits around a marriage are personal choices.
_____________________________
Are you having trouble getting your daily dose of the life changing Word of God?
Let my friend Brian at Daily Audio Bible help you too.
>>audio link<<
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/25/2009 12:18:31 PM
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laura...
Posts: 3280
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
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quote:
ORIGINAL: herestoresmysoul
quote:
ORIGINAL: MowTin
Your story is an example of the problems that opposite gender friendships can pose to a marriage. You have to put your foot down and end this "friendship." And in the future it should be CLEAR. Absolutely no female friends and no ministering to young girls.
Agree 100%. There have been quite a lot of disagreements on this forum on this subject of boundaries for husbands and wives and many have disagreed wiht me when I have stated that there needs to be strict boundaries about metting with, counselling, and having meals with people of the opposite sex.
This case just reinforces what I havs said. This man should never have been counselling or meeting alone with ithis girl in the first place, If she had problems at college she should have been quickly directed by this man to a female member of staff who could have helped her. it is never the place of a man to counsel or meet with a woman in this way.
husbannds and wives need to avoid this sort of situation to aviod all this pain that is being caused in the marriage.
I doubt that he was ever just meeting with her just for counseling or friendship.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/25/2009 12:43:05 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: laura...
quote:
ORIGINAL: herestoresmysoul
quote:
ORIGINAL: MowTin
Your story is an example of the problems that opposite gender friendships can pose to a marriage. You have to put your foot down and end this "friendship." And in the future it should be CLEAR. Absolutely no female friends and no ministering to young girls.
Agree 100%. There have been quite a lot of disagreements on this forum on this subject of boundaries for husbands and wives and many have disagreed wiht me when I have stated that there needs to be strict boundaries about metting with, counselling, and having meals with people of the opposite sex.
This case just reinforces what I havs said. This man should never have been counselling or meeting alone with ithis girl in the first place, If she had problems at college she should have been quickly directed by this man to a female member of staff who could have helped her. it is never the place of a man to counsel or meet with a woman in this way.
husbannds and wives need to avoid this sort of situation to aviod all this pain that is being caused in the marriage.
I doubt that he was ever just meeting with her just for counseling or friendship.
exactly my point Laura. My church is strict on this sort of thing ie that a man doesnt minister to a women or meet with a women unless another person is there. Sound and sensible in my opinion.
This sort of situation happens all the time where the boundaries are crossed into more than just a friendship, and a another marriage is at risk.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/25/2009 2:41:21 PM
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kmd441
Posts: 8
Joined: 7/23/2009
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I also feel that I should clarify a few things. My husband has female friends, some of the women he went to school with and some of them he works with or grew up with. I do not have a problem with him being friends with females. He does not meet his "friends" for lunch, or text them.
I have turned down many lunch offers with male co-workers, because I would feel uncomfortable eating with a man, alone. Many times I have been invited to lunch by a co-worker and because I knew it would be jsut the two of us, I would call my husband and ask for him to meet with us too. If my husband or someone else could not meet then I would turn the offer down.
He has since returned home from his week long class. I read the text messages between he and the "girl". Since my very first talk with him he no longer deletes text messages. They are all appropriate, nothing suspicious, but I still do not like the fact that he his chatting with her, when if he is bored or whatever he should be communicating with me.
Thanks again for your thoughts.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/25/2009 7:07:39 PM
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manda59
Posts: 8214
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kmd441
I read the text messages between he and the "girl". Since my very first talk with him he no longer deletes text messages.
Could I just ask you how you know that he no longer deletes texts?
_____________________________
"Manda.....you said what I tried to say, just much better"
sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/25/2009 7:25:28 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7007
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: kmd441
I read the text messages between he and the "girl". Since my very first talk with him he no longer deletes text messages.
Could I just ask you how you know that he no longer deletes texts?
Good question. He may only be deleting texts that he doesn't want you to read.
Your husband is behaving in a way that troubles you. If he is concerned for your welfare, he will be working with you to correct this problem. If you simply drop this without resolving these problems, this will be a root of trouble in your marriage that will never go away.
_____________________________
My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/25/2009 10:50:17 PM
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kmd441
Posts: 8
Joined: 7/23/2009
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I know he doesn't delete the texts because I go online and check the dates and times of the texts. If I see that he has texted this one person I then check his texts on the phone. The type of phone that he has can only delete an entire conversation, not one text at a time, or just a portion of a conversation. It is unfortunate that I have to be this sneaky, but neccessary to say the least.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/26/2009 3:12:17 AM
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Dakotasunbeam
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Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Midwest USA
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you are not in a good place with your husband. You need to sit down and have a reasonable discussion about all that is going on. The secrecy is the dangerous part. You MUST confront this. This will not just go away--even if she does. There ARE underlying problems here. Something isn't functioning in him/the marriage/work/etc. You've got to root out the problem, because this could be the beginging of something big, or just the tip of the iceberg of something even bigger. Don't ignore this. Don't sweep this under the rug.
Where there's smoke, there's fire.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/26/2009 3:55:51 AM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kmd441
I also feel that I should clarify a few things. My husband has female friends, some of the women he went to school with and some of them he works with or grew up with. I do not have a problem with him being friends with females. He does not meet his "friends" for lunch, or text them.
I have turned down many lunch offers with male co-workers, because I would feel uncomfortable eating with a man, alone. Many times I have been invited to lunch by a co-worker and because I knew it would be jsut the two of us, I would call my husband and ask for him to meet with us too. If my husband or someone else could not meet then I would turn the offer down.
He has since returned home from his week long class. I read the text messages between he and the "girl". Since my very first talk with him he no longer deletes text messages. They are all appropriate, nothing suspicious, but I still do not like the fact that he his chatting with her, when if he is bored or whatever he should be communicating with me.
Thanks again for your thoughts.
Maybe I am wrong, but a married man shouldnt be sending ANY texts to an 18 year old single girl who obviously thinks nothing of playing around with a married men behind his wives back.
In my opinion, any contact should stop immediatly. He is still contating her, but why?.He may well be ringing her from another phone or by some other means.he may be meeting her also.
I agree with some of the others, this needs to be dealt with and nipped in the bud.It needs to be stopped totally and as your husband he needs to stop ALL contact with this girl. If he REALLY feels she needs help(and I doubt that, it is just an excuse) then he needs to direct her to a lady who can help her and withdraw..he is nnot her husband, he is not her father, he is not her counsellor.
< Message edited by herestoresmysoul -- 7/26/2009 11:02:53 AM >
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/26/2009 10:44:52 AM
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Hazel2
Posts: 482
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Oh this is a stinker of a situation! If it was me, I would confront that lying jerk. In my opinion, there is no room in a healthy marriage for close friendships of the opposite sex. Clearly your husband is a bit infatuated with someone who is really just a CHILD. Eighteen years old??!!
I kind of like Laura's idea to show up during one of their dates. Walk up to the table, introduce yourself to the woman child with "hello, I am Ann, Bruce's wife ...", and then say in a clear loud voice "do you mind excusing us for a minute". I don't know if I would have the guts to do this myself, but it paints a nice picture in the mind!
_____________________________
Will you please remember my husband, John, in prayer He is not saved. Thank you and God bless you!
"Be kind. Everyone you meet is in the midst of a great battle" Plato
I sometimes blog at defrazzled.blogspot.com
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/26/2009 11:01:27 AM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Hazel2
Oh this is a stinker of a situation! If it was me, I would confront that lying jerk. In my opinion, there is no room in a healthy marriage for close friendships of the opposite sex. Clearly your husband is a bit infatuated with someone who is really just a CHILD. Eighteen years old??!!
I kind of like Laura's idea to show up during one of their dates. Walk up to the table, introduce yourself to the woman child with "hello, I am Ann, Bruce's wife ...", and then say in a clear loud voice "do you mind excusing us for a minute". I don't know if I would have the guts to do this myself, but it paints a nice picture in the mind!
I agree with this, he seems to have an attraction to her and this has to stop now.I also agree with the no relationships of this sort with anyone of the opposite sex.Whatever the texts are saying, he doesnt need to be texting her AT ALL. He has no reason to.He is a married man with children, he needs to keep away from single women and stop lying to his wife and stop fooling around.
I dont know how you trust him after his many lies, I dont think I could in your position.
< Message edited by herestoresmysoul -- 7/26/2009 11:13:42 AM >
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/26/2009 1:21:58 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7007
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Hazel2
I kind of like Laura's idea to show up during one of their dates. Walk up to the table, introduce yourself to the woman child with "hello, I am Ann, Bruce's wife ...", and then say in a clear loud voice "do you mind excusing us for a minute". I don't know if I would have the guts to do this myself, but it paints a nice picture in the mind!
I agree. The Bible tells us that we are to confront those who are sinning against us. I wouldn't ask the girl to leave, but would sit right down and have a chat with her telling her to leave my husband alone, then ask her to leave. Then I would tell my husband that I was not going to tolerate this behavior any further and if he did not repent, I would take it to someone else. If he did not repent, I would ask a friend to speak to him with me. If that didn't work, I'd take it to the church. If that didn't work, I would consider him to be an unbeliever and prepare for a divorce, as he would be likely to leave shortly after that. I know this is cut and dried and sound scary, but this is scriptural. It is our responsiblity as believers to walk in truth and not be involved with enabling sinful behavior.
_____________________________
My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: Need some good solid advice - 7/26/2009 4:02:34 PM
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IwillseekHim
Posts: 1779
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: offline
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Not sure I could be so cool, calm and collected as Hazel and introduce myself. From what you posted earlier, she already knows who you are. I would be more inclined to do as Cynthia. And, plop myself right down there at the table and tell them both how I feel. This is something that is not going away until you speak up to both. I really hope things have not went too far with them. He's headed down a dangerous path.
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