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How to live through annoying college things - 8/19/2009 12:39:35 AM
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Lea_3
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I normally don't complain about issues such as this, but sometimes little things, after dealing with them for almost an entire lifetime academic career really get on my nerves. I finished with my summer term this month and am sighing with relief because some of the little things about college classes drive me crazy!
Working in assigned groups. I know I probably sound REALLY whiny right now-- but let me explain. Since I was in grade school whenever I worked in a group I was always the one left to do all the work because noone else cared, or if everyone else did work they did it at the lowest possible, get a "C" level because that was passing. In the end, my grade suffered and I was just mad at an addition 3-4 people.
When I do schoolwork, I do my very best and put in as much work as possible into it to get an A. I remember talking to an older lady in one of my classes and she told me that one of the things that contributes to this problem is that I am a little bit older than the typical college student, so I am going to take things more seriously (not to mention I am the one footing the bill). I don't go into groupwork assuming that everyone is going to be lazy. In fact, I go in with a positive attitude and encourage everyone to share what their expectations are. At first, things seem to be going great until the last 2 weeks before the project or whatever is due, and then everyone (but me) slacks off. Then I find myself scrambling trying to get the work of 3-4 people done all by myself. Many of the teachers tell us that we have to work things out between ourselves and won't step in. I actually had a teacher tell me "oh well-- your grade will be bad because of your classmates" and that was it. Instead of achieving the A that I had wanted for that class, I ended up with a B+. To some that is "good" but for me, I put in quality work, and I expect a quality grade.
I mean I work hard, I study, I do everything in the class that is expected of me. Then because a group project is worth 40-50% of my grade, it suffers because my group members won't pull their weight. I try to be nice about it-- then I try being direct. I try saying "you know, it's not just my grade, it's also your grade." Some students don't seem to give a hoot. In fact, because they see that I am a serious student, somehow they assume that I'll be okay with doing all the work.
I am honestly dreading this in future classes. I know it's a part of life that I can't run away from-- if I could have the choice, I would do all of my work by myself. This way if I get a poor grade, the only person I have left to blame is myself. Alot of people tell me that groupwork is supposed to represent "the real world" where you are in a job and have to work in a team. If that is truly representative, then I don't know what to say.
I have also found over the course of the last year that sometimes other people in classes-- regardless of whether or not I get to know them-- assume and spread rumors about me being a "nerd" or a "uptight perfectionist". I really resent those labels because for one, I am not a "nerd". I am not even good at math! What I do is my best in school and take accountability for my academic actions. I should know-- I have really screwed up in the past (and many other contributing factors such as having abusive parents didn't help) and really had to work hard to prove to people in authority (such as advisors and professors) that I was worthy of being a successful academic student. I guess maybe some of this attitude gets reflected through the way I conduct myself.
I don't go around announcing my grades, but I participate in class discussions and make sure that what I have to say is conducive to the discussion. Sometimes what I do to acknowledge what others have said is "I agree with argument x, and going back to what Sarah said earlier..." or things like that. One time after I participated in class and the professor told me I made a good point, I overheard someone a few seats down say that I was being a "goody-goody". I have found that these misconceptions have contributed to poor social environments in class when we are asked to get together for in-class activities. There have been so many times in the spring semester where people would turn their backs on me and I would end up doing the in-class activity by myself! When I would try to establish a report with other students in the class, I usually got greeted with cool and distant behavior. I was really lonely spring semester.
I am going to be finishing my last year of college. I want this year to be a productive year academically and socially. I don't want to go into my classes dreading what will happen or resenting others because I didn't get the grades that I want, or because noone will talk to me and everyone thinks that I must be some uptight nerd who will cry at she gets an A- (I won't). (sigh) What can I do? Does anyone else ever feel this way? How can I approach these problems?
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 8/21/2009 12:24:49 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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Is there any way you can sign up for classes that DON'T do group things? I'm surprised you've had so many group assignments..I had ONE in college and TWO partner assignments. That was it.
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Wizard's rule #1 .People can be stupid and willfully deceived (that's from the book, not the show)..slightly edited for CW
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 8/21/2009 1:45:59 PM
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42servehymn
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My husband is in college right now and he also hates all the group projects. He is going to University Of Phoenix which is geared toward working adults. Most of the work is done online and they have class one day a week. He has finished one year so far and I think one of the most important things he has learned is how to choose a group. Seriously though, in the work force do group projects come up THAT often that they need to dwell on this in college?!
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 8/21/2009 1:49:19 PM
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eaglelady11
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I prefer to work alone rather than in groups for the exact same reason and in a couple of classes, I have mentioned this to the professor. In one case, the professor let me to my assignment by myself. I got an 'A'.
In others, the teacher said that working on teams is part of life and I might as well get used to it. I've been in groups where they haven't pulled their weight and I have shown my disdain.
Ask you teacher if you work on projects alone. If not, make no bones if classmates aren't pulling their end of the bargain.
oh by the way, this question is asked in job interviews: if you been part of a team, how do you react when others aren't pulling their weight and what have you done about it? I have always been asked that question in an interview.
ask if you can work alone; otherwise consider it part of life. But do your part and set a good example for them!
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 8/21/2009 4:13:29 PM
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Lea_3
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To be honest I don't think I can find a way around this. For one of my science classes, I saw for the lab that you HAVE to work in a group. Even when I took chemistry, everyone was required to have a lab partner (that wasn't as bad as what I have seen now). In fact, many universities have policies where you must work in a group. The problem is, the people I get partnered with or assigned to in a group often don't want to pull their weight. I tend to get mad  I know, it's bad. To be honest, I wouldn't know how to answer that interview question either.
It also wouldn't be so bad if I could somehow "feel out" what people are like before group projects begin. Usually within the first two weeks of classes I can gauge who is going to be serious about something. For instance, the reason I was able to get an A on a presentation from summer school is because the girl who I was partnered with was just as serious about getting a good grade as I was. She is also older, so that could have something to do with it.
I wish more professors would allow us to fill out peer review sheets, but it's rare for professors to do that all the time.
There is also no way for me to guarantee that a class I register for won't do group projects. In fact, I believe the entire department where my program is from is designed so that group/partner projects occur in half the classes.
I guess this wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for awful classmates!
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 8/21/2009 7:53:10 PM
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alexissommer
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I know how you feel. I have always hated working in groups for the sole reason that I am always the one that ends up doing all the work. What I have done in the past is ask the teacher if you can pick your own group. That way you can choose the people you KNOW will do the work!
Unfortunately, though, most teachers don't let you choose the group. If that is the case, it might be one of those things that you just have to do. Pray about it and ask God to give you the strength, patience, and understanding to work with the people in your group. Maybe the people in your group can benefit from your example! Or maybe you will make new friendships with people you never even considered!
I know it's hard, but keep a good attitude! It will soon be over!
~ Alexis
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 8/21/2009 10:54:06 PM
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ta_mosquito
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Just like with high school classmates, 99% of the time, the opinion of your college classmates is worth squat. Except for maybe crimping your social life, it really doesn't matter all that much. If you can hang on until graduation, you'll be home free!
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(Avatar: Turkeys are all saying "Moo")
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 8/24/2009 6:33:43 PM
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quietone7
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Keep working hard. I am also currently a college student, so I have a good feel for the academic stuff.
quote:
Instead of achieving the A that I had wanted for that class, I ended up with a B+. To some that is "good" but for me, I put in quality work, and I expect a quality grade.
A B+ is much, much better than you seem to make it out to be. From reading it, I take you think of it almost as I would think of getting a C- or a C. I guess what I am trying to get across is that, even if it isn't what you consider a "quality grade", it is a grade that shows you did put forth a goodly amount of effort.
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 9/14/2009 12:53:06 PM
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Lea_3
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quote:
ORIGINAL: quietone7
quote:
Instead of achieving the A that I had wanted for that class, I ended up with a B+. To some that is "good" but for me, I put in quality work, and I expect a quality grade.
A B+ is much, much better than you seem to make it out to be. From reading it, I take you think of it almost as I would think of getting a C- or a C. I guess what I am trying to get across is that, even if it isn't what you consider a "quality grade", it is a grade that shows you did put forth a goodly amount of effort.
I do think of a B+ as a C. In my mind, I put forth my very best-- and when I get a grade such as a B+ or lower, I think "this is my best?" Unfortunately low grades aren't going to get me into graduate school. That's my goal. There are often times where I put effort that goes above and beyond, and if someone else's lack of effort or work interferes with that, it is actually quite upsetting. That's why if I were given the choice, I would rather work independently.
It's been a week of school already and from what I can gather, some of the group work is going to be good and some of it...iffy. Fortunately in one of my classes, the groups we are put into change throughout the term-- this way noone is "stuck" with the same people who may or may not put forth effort. It's my science class I am worried about...we haven't had any labs yet (where we are in groups) so how that goes is still up in the air.
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 9/14/2009 11:04:10 PM
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solo_soprano23
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To be frank, you just have to grin and get through it, although it isn't enjoyable.
I had to take four chemistry classes (five really)-- all with lab partners. I believe all schools (just about) require partnering for chemistry labs. I had times when my parter had his turn to do the reports, but he was hungover or came in the day it was due and he'd forgotten about it. I remember on our independent projects our last semester of organic, I picked out the project, got it approved, did most of the work, then put together the presentation. No small task, because we had to test all our starting materials and products, meaning we had to do six tests, and if they didn't match with what chemicals we were supposed to have made, we had to start over and resynthesize it. And guess who was doing most of the work...
I took eight biology classes, most of them labs.... Five chem. classes, all with labs... Two physics classes, both with labs... various core/gen. ed. classes that required group work... and in all of them, I've had to do more due to slack from others (every subject; not necessarily every single class). It's just something you bear, and you have to think about the fact that this is a little time out of your life. This too shall pass.
About people not wanting to partner up, sometimes people do that to the person who talks the most in the class. They may perceive you as a show-off, or a pedant. I did well in most classes, but I saw what happened to the people who others thought pedantic... so I tried to be moderate in how much I said in class, and I didn't say much anyway-- in some classes I had the highest grades in the entire class, but didn't speak much. If you talk a lot in class respectfully, I don't see much you can do about that. It's just something else you have to get through, and it too shall pass.
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 9/18/2009 1:14:06 PM
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vicbhe
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Everything I am reading here is no different than the real working world. It's really frustrating to watch total goof-offs be promoted, either because the company promotes based on length of employment or the person just knows how to party with the right people.
Most times a management person will not intervene in the work environment either. As long as the work is getting done and the numbers look good, no one cares that one person is pulling all the weight. In fact, what I see happening is the person who is doing all the work will be assigned more work, because the manager knows who will get the job done. Paychecks are all still the same though...
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 9/21/2009 2:10:17 PM
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Lea_3
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Wow if this is what the working world is like, that is really going to suck...wow.
I don't think I appear to be pedantic. When I talk in class, it's usually because the professor asked us all a question and we all sit there for a minute while you can hear pins drop and noone raises their hand to say anything. I'll usually talk to say a point I don't think was mentioned, or to give support for a point that was mentioned. I think for the most part, people are just lazy.
I had my science class lab last week and I am glad to report that it wasn't that bad. That is, the group I was with wasn't that bad. I'm not sure if I will be assigned to the same group or to a random group. That part I am dreading.
If this is reflective of what work will be like after college, does everyone just end up miserable until they retire? 
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 9/21/2009 5:51:02 PM
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cries-within
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While getting an A is of course awesome and great specially when you've put all that hard work into it. I've had times where I work really, really... really hard something, and maybe it is something that isn't easy for me to do, but when I get a B. I'm actually happy because then next time I can work even harder to do better. I'm just saying that sometimes even if you work really hard at something, sometimes it just may be a B grade because that's where you are at. But then you know where to go from there.
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 9/22/2009 11:29:44 AM
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Auben
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A B+ will get you into grad school. You shouldn't worry about that.
I do sympathize though. I'm doing an online Master's degree right now and just finished a project through email. I organized it, nudged her, finally picked the topic, wrote 7/8 of it, and just asked her to put it into powerpoint. Then I had to edit it and make changes to the powerpoint. Frankly it took twice as long to attempt to include her and include her 6 sentences which didn't fit with anything I did.
Many professors do care, but you have to tell them the right way. For instance, "I'm having trouble with my group partners and I don't think the grade will reflect what I can do...is there any extra credit work I can do or if we have more group projects can I chose my own partner?"
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Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 10/4/2009 2:17:40 PM
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Lea_3
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I think that's very good advice Aube. So far I haven't been having any issues. Last week in my science lab I was with this group where the idea of working together as a group seemed foreign to them...thank goodness we're able to switch groups every week but this time I think I've found a good group! It's great-- we communicate well, make sure everyone understands what we're doing before we move on, and find it easy to work with each other.  Best news since the start of the semester!
I do have something that is bothering me though-- what do you do when people tell you that because you "do such a good job at (insert task here), it would be best if you were the assigned (insert task here)"? For instance...there are some study groups which I joined since we have midterms coming up. In one group, we all exchange notes and study together and it's nice. We all have the expectation that everyone is going to do their own work. However, in the other study group, I feel pressured to be the official notes distributor person and I don't think that's fair for a couple of reasons. For one, I work very hard at getting all of the assigned readings done and taking notes. Secondly, when I take notes, I often don't take notes with the thought that I am taking notes for others-- what makes sense to me in the notes won't make sense to everyone else.
I'm being pressured by a few people to not just share my notes, but to be the only person who takes notes from the textbook who is responsible for making sure x amount of people in the study group (or whoever decides to show up each time, that's another problem in itself) get a copy. I honestly don't think that's a responsibility I should have to have all by myself. I know for a fact that a couple of the people in this particular class don't always come to class everyday, and when they do, don't take notes and instead or playing around on their cellphones texting or using the internet...does this seem fair? Am I being selfish? I don't know how to approach this-- if I even should-- or should I just downplay it in a way where I can say that it won't be a guarantee that I'll always be able to get notes done (which is true, sometimes I get behind on a couple of chapters)?
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 10/4/2009 4:49:01 PM
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ta_mosquito
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I'd just say no. "I'm sorry, but I think it's everyone's responsibility to take notes. Therefore, I decline being the official notes taker and distributor."
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 10/6/2009 10:45:22 AM
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Lea_3
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But what happens if saying no gets you nasty looks or causes others to not want to share their notes with you (which I've seen happen)? I want to be able to decline when I'm "officially" asked in a way that is cordial and polite.
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 10/6/2009 11:37:16 AM
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debilyn
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You could always say something along the lines of:
"Don't you think it would be better if we all took notes and then compared them? Since one person might catch something another person misses, wouldn't that assure we cover all the bases? I know I would feel better if I weren't the only one taking notes. I might miss something important, which would then affect the entire group."
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 10/7/2009 12:28:31 AM
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Lea_3
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Debilyn, that's a great idea! Thanks so much :)
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 10/7/2009 5:20:40 AM
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rgod
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lea84 - you might get some nasty looks, if you say "no" to doing the notes, but you'll also get respect. Human nature being what it is, if the group thinks that they can use you to take notes (because they are too lazy to do so) then they will - and you'll forever be doing their work and they will not respect you. I like Debilyn's approach - socially acceptable, gentle, but firm. Very wise way to handle this.
And I wouldn't worry a whole lot about the "nerd" stuff. If you are planning to go to grad school (which I'm assuming you will), chances are that most people are going to be like you - high achievers who care about grades and also about learning - i.e. intellectuals AKA nerds. So you'll fit right in. There is nothing wrong with being a nerd - I am a nerd and proud of it because this is the way God made me. There is nothing wrong with liking intellectual things - in fact it is a great blessing, especially when you are also submitted to God.
Congratulations on your last year of school and your upcoming graduation!
_____________________________
We are His portion and He is our prize, drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes! If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking ...
- Kim Walker "How He Loves Us"
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 10/12/2009 7:01:20 PM
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Lea_3
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Thanks rgod for the comments.
About the grades thing-- it's not so much that I get upset because I didn't get a "perfect" grade, but more so that I know my grade could be higher but someone from a group did not do their part and caused my grade to go down. I've been finding it hard to trust people, actually I've been finding it hard for years to trust people in many areas of my life, not just academically. When I am in a group, I'm always under the expectation that if our grade is a shared grade, we all have to work hard to get the highest grade we can get. When someone doesn't turn in their part of the project, essay, or take-home exam, it affects everyone.
I once worked in a group where I was the only one who turned in my part of the project in completion and on time. But I still got penalized because the professor refused to intervene and said it was "a fact of life I had to deal with". My grade in the class plummeted from an A to a B+. It cost me entrance into my department's honors program because of getting the 3.6 I hoped for after that term, I only ended up with a 3.4. I'm still a little upset about that  .
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 10/16/2009 6:29:56 PM
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carebearstare
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hi, i'm in grad school now and i've also hated the group work thing (as well as the let's make a pretty venn diagram poster and decorate it with markers thing...) for YEARS now. yep it's a pain. i've still had group work in grad school periodically, and study groups, and there are still issues, but everyone cares about really learning the material a lot more so look forward to that :)
with group work, yep every once in a while you get hosed - that guy does the lab report and it stinks and no one got to edit it and your grade is bad and no one knows why it matters to you, you good two shoes. whatever. when you can though, i'd recommend handing out who does what in a timely and organized manner, but leave yourself time (if you really really dont trust that group) to essentially do it all. if dude1 is assigned to write the introduction, or to come up with a piece of code, or whatever, hopefully he will, but if he doesn't you dont want a gaping hole in your project. if people are totally falling down on deadlines and you've already talked to them and they give you the hey, relax you don't need to edit spiel, then get ready. if it really mattered to me and i felt like there was going to be true crashing and burning, i would be ready to do the whole thing myself and turn in a separate or complete (depending on what kind of c&b you have) report or project on my own, with a note explaining that you did not feel the group project was going to reflect the kind of project you wanted it to be. try not to be whiny or finger pointy in this assessment - the project might be fine quality according to dude1, and that is fine, for HIS grade. you just want the prof to get the work turned in and for him to know how much of it you did alone. you may get a prof who docks you anyway for not MAKING it work, or the prof may totally understand. fine i'll just do it all myself is NOT ideal but it might be a last resort, because you have no real power to motivate people who just don't care.
as for appearing to be an overeager puppy in class, if that is how classmates perceive you, you can talk less and get less deep as someone else pointed out... also might want to see how your language compares to others. if you're older, or more literary and spend a lot of time reading and writing poetic or technical things, you might be using a lot of five dollar words (which are totally legit) where it seems unnecessary, and to a bunch of laid back college kids it seems pretentious. it is not going to occur to them so much that maybe you just think that way - people will assume you are going out of your way to sound smart. dunno if that is any part of what is going on but you never know...
and while grades are not the be all and end all (in grad school i finally learned to appreciate that wow, after this class, and whatever grade, i need to know how to USE this stuff!), i understand. if i bust my tail, i hope i'm doing it to learn the material, and really understand it. and yes i want my grade to reflect that. if i don't get it, well then i have the knowledge anyway, which is fine if you are at your final level of academics. my gpa doesn't matter so much i think now though i still expect to do well. BUT, if i turn around and go on to a different schooling option after this, my gpa DOES matter as part of my application, period. so yes, anyway, i feel ya there.
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RE: How to live through annoying college things - 10/19/2009 2:29:26 AM
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bigfrank
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From: Battle Ground, WA
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I've just gotten to the point in my college career where getting an A is not worth it. I'm not into being the perfect student. I just want to learn what I need to and balance the rest of my life with that. I'm an engineering student and in many cases, I give a good effort, but end up with a C anyway. I've heard of many people who have taken engineering who have failed classes and had to retake them, graduating with what most people would consider a terrible GPA. But they went on to be extremely successful.
Sometimes it's practically impossible to figure out what I need to in order to learn what I need to. So much information goes zipping through my head in a quarter that I can't possibly remember it all. I talk with A students who are peers of mine, and they can't remember most of it either. It's so intangible that it's hard to remember. I guess my point is, chill out. Don't kill yourself to get that A+, because in the end, will it really matter?
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A man should never let a salad beat him.
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