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door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/30/2009 1:58:45 PM
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jazzact13
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First, I'll admit up front, this is probably one of the more unimportant topics in this forum, so I don't want to make a big deal of it. But I guess it is of some importance to me, so here it is.
I'm finding people who greet others at a church's front door to be annoying, almost to the point of me being rude. I don't really like that, as I suspect most are only trying to be friendly, but when I see a few or a group of people gathered at the front door of a church, waiting to shake hands and pat backs and "make me feel welcomed", I seriously want to turn around and go somewhere else (or wait a few minutes until the service starts and they leave, so I can go in without dealing with them).
There was one church I went to when I was younger, when getting into the building meant literally running a gamut of men on either side of the door who persisted in gathering there to greet people. Another I've been to more recently have people at the doors of the building (they meet in something like a conference center) who stand by the door, hold it open (though there is also a revolving door one can use). I've also been to churches that have large lobbies with people moving about and greeting.
I suspect my own reaction to it is not common, that most people either like being greeted like that or are more able to grin-and-bear-it than I am.
I can't say for sure why my reaction to greeters is so negative. Maybe because I feel like a church should be different than, say, a sales visit, where one is suppose to shake hands and pat backs. Maybe I would rather simply go in without much of anyone noticing. Maybe I don't like strangers (and the one church I've been to recently is a fairly new one to me) who act more friendly than I think they have permission to. And I don't like it even when people I've been friends with for a while do the back-patting thing.
So, is anyone else like that? Or are there any greeters who think I'm more than a little whacked?
_____________________________
The ACORN doesn't fall far from the "O"ak
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/30/2009 4:08:28 PM
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drmark
Posts: 4632
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Greeters should be a vital part of extending the best initial impression of our church to visitors. If a church's greeters are annoying, they are most certainly NOT doing a good job of greeting! On the other hand, someone who is overly critical of a genuinely friendly greeting may have some serious spiritual issues going on. Why would someone go to church if not to meet and share with like-minded members of Christ's Body?
_____________________________
Jeremiah 31:31-34. The time is NOW, fellow saints!
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/30/2009 4:29:09 PM
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earthless
Posts: 5285
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: where pigeons get mugged and shot at...
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Maybe it's just me who thinks in such "bad" ways... but my only real problem with greeters, etc.. is having to shake all of their hands.
Yeah, I said it.
I am a bit OCD and a germ freak.. I do not like to shake someone's hand and then not be able to go and wash them. Because that is the easiest way to get the flu, etc..
So having to shake, greet, etc.. and then having my hands dirty like that for an entire service, etc.. trying to remember not to touch my nose or tear ducts/eyes drives me nuts. And some people spray on too much cologne/perfume and then it lingers all over their hands. It doesn't help when it's the cheap stuff.
And let's not get me started on having to hug all the ladies - getting their make-up smeared all over my face, their perfumes, etc..
_____________________________
Probing Today's Religious Movements | Promoting Doctrinal Discernment & Critical Thinking | Providing Reasons for Christian Faith & Ethics
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/30/2009 4:39:43 PM
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rcjames
Posts: 6727
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Oklahoma
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I would think that someone who is annoyed, angered, or upset with someone welcoming them to Church probably has issues far beyong someone greeting them.
I encourage my congregation to spend time in prayer, self-reflection, soul searching, repentance, and singing unto the Lord before they come into the House of Prayer to minister to the Lord.
(Psa 100:1) <A Psalm of praise.> Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.
(Psa 100:2) Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.
(Psa 100:3) Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
(Psa 100:4) Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
(Psa 100:5) For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.
Coming in as an Uncle Scrooge just does not seem to get it.
But that could just be me.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/30/2009 5:33:16 PM
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navyblueret
Posts: 1971
Joined: 11/29/2008
From: S/W Nebraska
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jazact13, Shalom.
If I may. When you visit your family, especially those you do not see every day, do you hug, shake hands, and happily greet each other? I hope so, because they are family, and family should love one another.
Those folks at the door of the church are your family also, I pray. When you become family with Jesus, you, like it or not, become family to His family, which includes not only those hand shakers, but also "ME." (You lucky person you).  You are going to be spending Eternity with every believer who ever lived, and I know of no place in the Bible that says Hermits live in Heaven. Har, Har, Har.
I could be wrong, and you may well have the right to ask Jesus for a cave to dwell in with a big fence around it, and guard dogs patrolling the fence. Aaarrrgg!! (Sad Aaarrgg). Try thinking of Church time as the family arrival, hugging, hand shaking, time of Fellowship with some of your Royal Family in Jesus. It makes one feel much much better, knowing they are loved, and welcome.
I received a phone call from 'family in Jesus,' from twelve time zones distant, yesterday. One of the first things I did was speak a Christian Hug, before we started discussing a minor problem with Bible understanding. We have never seen one another, but are family, and happy in being so. Some day we will be able to greet with a physical hug. (I love big families).
Earthless, my friend. You need to eat, drink, and sleep, for thirty+ days, alone in the dessert, keeping clean by rubbing sand on the body. Oh that will erase your phobia about being a clean-freak. A little BO never hurt anyone, until someone gets a whiff of you. I'm Done.
In Messiah. Arley
_____________________________
In the name of 'THE' Mashiach, Man the wall, set the watch, sound the Shofar. Our redemption draws nigh.
Messiah, my Captain, and Helmsman.
(Joh 14:6 KJV) ... I am the way, the truth, and the life: ...
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/30/2009 6:57:06 PM
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stellaluna
Posts: 4166
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Our church had one "greeter" at each door. They open the door for you and hand you a program. Not bothersome, in my opinion.
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 10:08:00 AM
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Szaftoo
Posts: 502
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: So. Calif.
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I have no problem with door greeters but then I also don't have problem with any kind of personal interation with people while at church. For me, part of going to church is for the fellowship with other believers.
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 2:08:03 PM
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jazzact13
Posts: 683
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quote:
Greeters should be a vital part of extending the best initial impression of our church to visitors.
Umm...why? Sorry, but I'm not sure where the position of greeter is something the Bible says a church should have. And before replying to that, consider what I'm saying, and what I'm not saying.
quote:
If a church's greeters are annoying, they are most certainly NOT doing a good job of greeting!
This does raise questions, though. For example, a few have brought up cultural differences--some people are more, shall we say, exhuberant (sorry, think that's misspelled) than other people. I am rather reserved. I do not think I'm unfriendly, but I do not like for people who are stranger or who I do not know to act "too friendly" towards me, nor will I do it to them.
quote:
I wonder if what you are getting at, is that you dislike inauthentic greeting? These people don't know you well, but they greet you as if they have been your dearest friend. Is that what bothers you?
Perhaps that is at least close to truth, yes.
quote:
I could be wrong, and you may well have the right to ask Jesus for a cave to dwell in with a big fence around it, and guard dogs patrolling the fence.
I have no wish to become a hermit.
quote:
If I may. When you visit your family, especially those you do not see every day, do you hug, shake hands, and happily greet each other? I hope so, because they are family, and family should love one another.
Sorry, but we are not a demonstrative people, nor am I going to apologize for our ways.
_____________________________
The ACORN doesn't fall far from the "O"ak
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 2:23:23 PM
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drmark
Posts: 4632
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quote:
Umm...why? Umm...because our church buildings have parking lots, and doors, and designated entrances for people to use. Only criminals and ghosts would enter some other way!
Seriously jazzact, what would you think if you came to a new church and found no one at the door to even say "Hi!", or point you toward the sanctuary or classrooms, or show any interest at all in your presence? I certainly would never return to that church!
_____________________________
Jeremiah 31:31-34. The time is NOW, fellow saints!
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 2:31:02 PM
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rcjames
Posts: 6727
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From: Oklahoma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jazzact13
quote:
Greeters should be a vital part of extending the best initial impression of our church to visitors.
Umm...why? Sorry, but I'm not sure where the position of greeter is something the Bible says a church should have.
It is something we (The Church) are all "Called" to do;
(1Co 16:20) All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 2:48:48 PM
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Eutychus
Posts: 6339
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From: Dothan, AL
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quote:
ORIGINAL: drmark
quote:
Umm...why? Umm...because our church buildings have parking lots, and doors, and designated entrances for people to use. Only criminals and ghosts would enter some other way!
Seriously jazzact, what would you think if you came to a new church and found no one at the door to even say "Hi!", or point you toward the sanctuary or classrooms, or show any interest at all in your presence? I certainly would never return to that church!
I think most people are like you, DrMark, as I am too. I've heard a few people mention that they visited a church where nobody spoke to them and they never returned. They usually referred to those churches as "cold."
_____________________________
Jesus answered and said to them, "This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent." -John 6:29
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 2:54:14 PM
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jazzact13
Posts: 683
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quote:
Seriously jazzact, what would you think if you came to a new church and found no one at the door to even say "Hi!",
Probably not much, certainly not much negative.
quote:
Umm...because our church buildings have parking lots, and doors, and designated entrances for people to use. Only criminals and ghosts would enter some other way!
Unless it's a very unusual building, most people would probably know where the entrance(s) are, without much help.
quote:
It is something we (The Church) are all "Called" to do;
(1Co 16:20) All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss.
And if you tried to kiss me, I'd definitely leave
Though, I think there is a bit of difference between greeting people and being a greeter.
There was another discuss a while ago, maybe in this section or another one on the board, where people were discussing when their church would have these meet-and-greet times--you know, when the person speaking, probably the worship or singing leader, would say something like "Shake hands with the person to the left of you, or with 5 people you don't know, or turn to person on your right and say something inane". I know a lot of people who commented on that topic didn't like those times, and usually tried to find ways out if it if they could see it coming.
This isn't about saying that people in churches shouldn't be friendly. Perhaps this is more about something like a "forced friendliness", or being friendly in order to sell the product.
_____________________________
The ACORN doesn't fall far from the "O"ak
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 2:59:44 PM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1671
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I attended a church that had 'indoor' and 'outdoor' greeters. The outdoor greeters were there to help folks out of their cars, or up the step if need be. They would also open the door for you.
So, if you didn't need help, and they wanted to talk, and no one needed help, you were standing outside. Then you walked in the door and were greeted again and handed a bulletin. There were days I would wait several minutes to walk in the door, while holding a little one.
Our current church has a set of 'greeters' inside the doory to welcome you, and ushers outside the sanctuary to hand you a bulletin and offer help with seating or the sound system. And, there have been times that I have felt 'anti-social' and just waved at the greeters and picked up a bulletin off the table of spares. (sometimes my bubble is big, but sometimes it is tiny) I feel guilty about not following protecol, but I'd rather be comfortable.
It isn't about being anti-social, per se. It is a comfort thing. I also avoid the crush of people in the center aisle at the end of the service who are waiting to see the pastor. I either go out the sides, or sit and wait.
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 3:03:30 PM
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drmark
Posts: 4632
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quote:
Probably not much, certainly not much negative. I guess that's your personal call, jazzact. We will continue to show Christlike love and attention to all who visit our church even if they don't really understand the importance of such behavior in promoting fellowship among the Believers.
_____________________________
Jeremiah 31:31-34. The time is NOW, fellow saints!
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 3:12:16 PM
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betterisoneday
Posts: 402
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Personally, I find door greeters at church (inside or out) to be very annoying. People can be friendly with you after service (or before if you're early) and not be standing at either side of the door trying to get you to shake their hands and talk or worse yet give you a hug or be wearing too much perfume/cologne.
It's extremely annoying when one or two stand at each side of the door and you're trying to walk through holding the hands of your littles, even if your children aren't normally shy some are that way when having to walk between people or refuse to walk in front of you so you all fit thru the door.
I usually just nod to the greeters and say 'no thanks' to the bulletin while trying to maneuver my sons into the church.
_____________________________
No reserves. No retreat. No regret.
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 3:14:46 PM
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betterisoneday
Posts: 402
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quote:
ORIGINAL: drmark
...even if they don't really understand the importance of such behavior in promoting fellowship among the Believers.
Ummm... you can easily have fellowship without looking as though you're mandating that people shake your hand/hug/give an long greeting before they will be let in the door.
Curiosity: and I don't think you're saying this, but you (not just greeters) can/should be friendly to visitors even if they aren't believers. No?
_____________________________
No reserves. No retreat. No regret.
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 3:24:04 PM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1671
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YES
I am a friendly person. Really. I'm even (gasp) a toucher! But you can not touch me or my children without my permission. Oh, a very brief handshake is ok, but don't hold my hand. Don't put your hand on my arm and DO NOT tell me that I NEED to share that contact with you.
My trust is fairly easily earned, but it must be earned.
Which is why I sit on the outside seat, with empty pews around me. Why I sit where I can see the exit. Why I duck out the side aisle when decently possible. There is someone nearby who hasn't earned my trust that makes me uncomfortable.
I understand different cultures act differently, but this girl has her own distinct brand of 'acceptable' and that is part of MY culture.
This isn't an indicator of my faith. It is an indicator of my experiences.
I laugh at the image of the children backing you up at the door - and the greeter, who is someone they may not know, trying to coax them to say hello and shake hands like a big boy while the young man hides in Momma's skirts. I've seen that - I've lived that. At least at my current church, the narthex is wide enough to walk around any roadblocks. Like I said, I'll smile and wave hello.
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 4:02:36 PM
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drmark
Posts: 4632
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:
Curiosity: and I don't think you're saying this, but you (not just greeters) can/should be friendly to visitors even if they aren't believers. No? How would I possibly know if a first-time visitor to my church is a Believer or not, unless they tell me, and I have no apparent reason to doubt them? Was not Jesus friendly to all He met, regardless of their spiritual state?
_____________________________
Jeremiah 31:31-34. The time is NOW, fellow saints!
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 4:28:38 PM
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navyblueret
Posts: 1971
Joined: 11/29/2008
From: S/W Nebraska
Status: offline
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Rom 16:16 Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you.
Sounds good to me.
In Messiah. Arley
_____________________________
In the name of 'THE' Mashiach, Man the wall, set the watch, sound the Shofar. Our redemption draws nigh.
Messiah, my Captain, and Helmsman.
(Joh 14:6 KJV) ... I am the way, the truth, and the life: ...
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 8:01:46 PM
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drmark
Posts: 4632
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:
well, that whole driving people out of the Temple area scene doesn't sound that friendly to me And if my church ever degraded the cause of Christ in a similar way, I would hope somebody would have enough righteous anger to drive us from holy ground!
_____________________________
Jeremiah 31:31-34. The time is NOW, fellow saints!
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RE: door greeters--good or annoying? - 8/31/2009 8:51:56 PM
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p31woman
Posts: 398
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Texas, and now South Dakota
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I admit, I learned old-school etiquette and so can't stand when a man thrusts his hand at me to shake it (traditionally, a woman is to offer her hand first, if she wishes)-- at the front door of church or elsewhere. And wouldn't you know it, there's one greeter at the church we go to who insists on following you with his out-stretched hand so you'll shake it, even if you've got your hands full with a purse and a Bible.   My husband and I joke about that scary hand. It's like a shark following you!
IMHO, a warm smile, eye contact, and verbal greeting would suffice.
_____________________________
So don't let anyone pass judgment on you in connection with eating and drinking, or in regard to a Jewish festival or Rosh-Hodesh or Shabbat. These are a shadow of things that are coming, but the body is of the Messiah. Colossians 2:16-17
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I feel a bit unnerved by such attention and wish they would give me the great big Western space I'm accustomed to. 
