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RE: Elitest Christian Parents? - 9/24/2009 8:16:12 PM
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StephK
Posts: 2774
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From: Southwest Louisiana
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quote:
ORIGINAL: serenitynow123
Okay, this is typical of WAY OLD School parents and child raising. Ever have parents or knew of parents that were highly judgmental if you were were their daughter, you weren't allowed to wear make-up, because you were considered a......well, you know.
I am trying to think of a good example here, apparently a daughter of a parent had gotten pregnant out of wedlock...and the grandmother's remark was this...(please forgive me for typing this) Well, if she knew how to keep her <finish the sentence> this wouldn't have happened.
(Trying to speak euphemistically and cryptically as possible here.
The younger more liberal parent gave her mom what for for that remark.
Typically, the parents of "old school", when they raised their kids, they struck the fear of God in them, with judgmental remarks, and you were considered scum if you partook in minor vanity and what-not.
Basically, the old school Christian way of raising kids, must've been a nightmare for some.....
Was it really Christian the way parents raised some of us...or no?
Was it wrong up bringing or no?
Thing is, the older generation, who are very set in their ways, think they are in the RIGHT, too.
Any feedback on this?
There are some parents who do go overboard with the rules but that really isn't the case today. I don't have kids of my own but have spent years working in group homes with girls whose parents were lax in teaching appropriate boundaries and social skills. Let's just say that if something is easy access it's harder to say no when being tempted to do things that lead to pregnancy. That older generation has something that is lacking today, wisdom. Perhaps some of them even gained that wisdom from their own foolish mistakes. 
_____________________________
Stephanie
Envy is always referred to by its political alias, "social justice."
~ Thomas Sowell
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RE: Elitest Christian Parents? - 9/25/2009 7:48:49 AM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1653
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From: an ignoble beginning
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quote:
ORIGINAL: StephK
There are some parents who do go overboard with the rules but that really isn't the case today. I don't have kids of my own but have spent years working in group homes with girls whose parents were lax in teaching appropriate boundaries and social skills. Let's just say that if something is easy access it's harder to say no when being tempted to do things that lead to pregnancy. That older generation has something that is lacking today, wisdom. Perhaps some of them even gained that wisdom from their own foolish mistakes.
Wow....not only was the OP so full of generalizations, but so is this post.
MOST older people (ranging in age from 99 to 55) do NOT go around making the kind of comments the OP accused them of.
And one has to wonder WHO is lacking wisdom, when one looks at the ratio of unwed pregnancies, STD's, etc.......................................
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Elitest Christian Parents? - 9/25/2009 11:41:36 AM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1653
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From: an ignoble beginning
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quote:
ORIGINAL: StephK
Did you miss the comma? I was saying that the older generation had more wisdom for the most part due to living life already.
I did miss the comma..sorry 
I was reading in a hurry....shouldn't do that!
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Elitest Christian Parents? - 9/27/2009 4:08:58 PM
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lexie
Posts: 1151
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
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First, I wouldn't use the term elitist to refer to this type of parenting.
I have seen this type of parenting before in my husband's family. I assumed it was always more of a cultural thing than a Christian thing. Older women were just much more brash with their children and rather than taking the time to develop proper behaviours with their children (by this I mean talking to them) they instead chose to put the fear of God into their children through this method. I haven't known my MIL well for a long time but I can only assume that she was at one point this type of parent.
Was it Christian of her to raise her children this way? Probably not the best way. Of her 8 children 2 became pastors, one is a "full time" Christian and the others have made their mistakes but still put their trust in God. So who knows if it really worked.
(I use the term full time Christian only to distinguish between my husband who lives his whole life as a Christian and his siblings who believe in God but don't live a Christian lifestyle.)
Oh, and hoochie mama is a term used in Canada!
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I want to be more than an ordinary servant.
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RE: Elitest Christian Parents? - 9/28/2009 3:20:06 PM
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caringnurse
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I like your set of rules. They make a lot of common sense. I wish more families used this.
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It is in the job description
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RE: Elitest Christian Parents? - 10/16/2009 9:04:02 AM
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heremainsfaithful
Posts: 190
Joined: 10/14/2009
From: Alabama
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I was raised with very clear and very narrow guidelines. I didn't wear any makeup until 13, and no full makeup until high school. I was taught to protect my virginity, but in a creative way. Instead of the "It's evil, only bad girls do it," way, it was more like "God gave us a great gift to give to our husbands. We want to love our future husbands enough to give that only to him. How much more romantic could you get than to say I give you myself, a gift I have never given anyone else." So I saw purity as beautiful, not fearful or punitive (I am so thankful for that). Of course, some of the standards were so high that there was no way to meet them - mostly grades and stuff like that. Why settle for a B when you can get an A. Why wasn't a 96 a 100. I had some issues after some of my raising, but as far as the moral aspect goes, I have no qualms holding my daughter to the same standard. But, like my own mom, I plan to tell her why.
I think "old school" values are sorely lacking in this day of sin-embracing that the world expects us to do. However, I don't think "old school" scare tactics are the way to go. I do have one friend who couldn't consummate her marriage for three weeks because she couldn't shift her thinking from the "sex is evil" training she had received.
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RE: Elitest Christian Parents? - 10/17/2009 9:55:01 AM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1653
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From: an ignoble beginning
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quote:
ORIGINAL: heremainsfaithful
.... However, I don't think "old school" scare tactics are the way to go. I do have one friend who couldn't consummate her marriage for three weeks because she couldn't shift her thinking from the "sex is evil" training she had received.
Again...I have to say that the scare tactics are not "old school"...they are pushed by people today as being such...but they really are not. My grandmother, who is 95, and ALL of her friends did not have those scare tactics used on them, and neither did any of their mothers (I know...I asked)....her response was that even 100 years ago only people who were ignorant used those tactics....MOST responsible people taught their children what the Bible teaches about purity.
Did people use them (the scare tactics)? yes...but it was not as across the board as the hippies of the 60's and even today's society would like us to think. It was considered shameful to be pregnant outside of marraige...but MOST families did not kick their daughters out,etc. Just because a few ignorant people did, do not paint an entire generation (or in this case generations) of people with that brush.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Elitest Christian Parents? - 10/17/2009 12:02:06 PM
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heremainsfaithful
Posts: 190
Joined: 10/14/2009
From: Alabama
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I definitely didn't mean to generalize or insult older people. After all, Titus tells the older women to teach the younger women. My mom is close to 70 now, and she told me when I was about to be engaged to "enjoy it, because it's fun!" I could have died! I guess I shouldn't use the term old school because it does have a connotation to it. I think parents of any generation who frighten their children into submission rather than lovingly train them are doing their kids a disservice. I hope that clears up any unintended offense or generalizations.
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RE: Elitest Christian Parents? - 10/19/2009 1:17:38 PM
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W.O.F.
Posts: 1653
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: an ignoble beginning
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hnt
...... There is nothing wrong with having rules for your household that others may think are a bit out there. Its the way you handle the moral codes that counts. Scare tactics most of the time fail miserably.
AMEN.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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I remember one speech from a gym teacher telling us that anyone that ever tried to smoke a joint would end up with a needle in their arm for example. I think we all know you take the risk when you do drugs that you may go down that road of stronger ones, etc. The school was trying to push it was 'automatic', and it came from more than one teacher. We are talking 60's here, and my folks basically sat us down and talked 'real' about it. I was very naive about drugs, but you heard about them all the time. I appreciated my parents outlook on the whole thing. They were upfront and honest. 
I was mad at the time because they wouldn't allow that at the time due to gender! 
YES that gave my parents a bit of a giggle! 