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This is my story........ - 9/7/2009 11:17:42 AM
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mahad
Posts: 102
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hispen 7/9/2009
Recently a sister in Christ who works on a particular church committee would tell me about the other committee members and she always spoke very highly of one of the men on the committee. I had never met this man, but kept hearing great things about him from various members of the body of Christ. Finally, after about a year, I met him and just looking at him, he isn't the type I would ever be drawn to looks wise, but oh, the way he walked was like a man on a mission, a man in control, and I was instantly taken with that walk!!!! Then we were introduced he apparently had heard things about me that impressed his spirit as well. So we began to chat and again, although if he had been someone I had seen from a distance, I would not have thought he'd be my type, but as we chatted there was unmistakable chemistry as well as undeniable admiration for the other's spiritual walk. He has begun to reach out in friendship with me since then and it is all very enlightening especially with regard to this thread. Not sure where it will end, but I at this point I can say I have gained a brother in Christ and that is always good. Whether we will be more than that to one another is up to God, him and me. We will see.
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Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/7/2009 11:27:49 AM
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mahad
Posts: 102
Joined: 8/17/2006
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The above two posts were originally on another thread, and I feel led to post updates on this journey. So, instead of going back to that thread to post updates, since that would be considered off topic, I decided to cut and past those two posts to this new thread and continue from here. Hopefully this is okay with the moderators.
Okay, so yeah, we are still in the "getting to know you" stage via phone calls and online chatting. This all began a few months after I decided to take my personal prayer and devotion life to the next level because there were still remnants of hurt and disappointments of the past that I felt I had not been healed from. So needless to say when we met, I was in much more consecrated state that I had been in years. I think there is something to that, thought I'm not sure how to express it as of yet.
I don't know what God has planned for us, but as I stated earlier, I have gained another true brother in Christ none the less, and that's always good. Whether we are meant to be more than that still remains to be seen.
For now, in addition to one of my dearest truest sisters in Christ, as well as my good friend and spiritual mentor, an older 'mother in zion' mighty and anointed woman of God who is pastor's wife herself, I want a safe place to share with brothers and sisters in Christ that don't know either of us so that any advice or opinions I seek or receive will be as objective as possible. You know how we saints are, the minute we get wind of two single people growing closer, we begin the marriage talk and/or fill their heads with all sorts of reasons why this must be or can't possibly be God's will. Right now I only want to hear from God and a few of you whose opinion I have grow to respect and admire.
This is my story. Thanks for listening.
Hispen
< Message edited by hispen -- 9/7/2009 11:34:53 AM >
_____________________________
Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/8/2009 8:23:31 AM
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mahad
Posts: 102
Joined: 8/17/2006
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Thank you Elena1030 for your words of kindness. They are greatly appreciated.
During the consecrating that I had been doing in the months before and since meeting my new friend, I had been led to pray a few very specific prayers. Here is one of those prayers:
"Lord why is it that in 19 years since I was reclaimed from being a backslider, not one saved man has expressed an interest in me besides friendship? Why is it that the only two men in 19 years to express their love for me (one of them I dated one I did not) were both walking outside your will? (One never saved, the other a backslidden minister) Lord, am I doing to prevent saved men from being interested in me? Lord, if I'm doing anything to prevent myself from receiving the blessing of a saved husband, please show me what it is, and help me to stop doing it. And Lord if there are things that I should be doing in order to receive the blessing of a saved husband please show me what those things are and help me to do them."
Boy did the Lord show me some things!!!! There was ALOT of revelation and awhole lot of repentance. It hurt to know that there were infact several reasons why only unsaved men seemed to be approaching me and also a couple of things God showed me I needed to stop doing immediately if I really and truly wanted to be married to a saved and sanctified man of God. Also there were things I needed to start doing.
I will share what some of those things are as the Lord leads. In the mean time, I continue to make this prayer often.
Most recenly I have also been led to pray the following prayer:
"Lord show me what talents, gifts and abilities that I possess will be a blessing to my husband our marriage and his ministry and help me to grow and to strive for excellence in those areas now while in this season of singleness."
Right after that, a spirit of intercession for others just began to burn within me. I am still seeking his face as to what those areas are, but one thing I realize is that I may just be led to do certain things that I won't really know are the answers to this prayer until I get married. But I'm praying the prayer just the same.
< Message edited by hispen -- 9/8/2009 8:34:27 AM >
_____________________________
Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/9/2009 9:30:48 PM
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mahad
Posts: 102
Joined: 8/17/2006
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I just got home from prayer and I just had to share the following:
I do believe God is preparing me for marriage, but I'm beginning to think this leg of the journey has more to do with me moving to the next level in God than it does me moving down the isle with the saved man of my dreams. 
And guess what? THAT'S OKAY WITH ME.
_____________________________
Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/9/2009 9:56:27 PM
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dinita717
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quote:
"Lord why is it that in 19 years since I was reclaimed from being a backslider, not one saved man has expressed an interest in me besides friendship? Why is it that the only two men in 19 years to express their love for me (one of them I dated one I did not) were both walking outside your will? (One never saved, the other a backslidden minister) Lord, am I doing to prevent saved men from being interested in me? Lord, if I'm doing anything to prevent myself from receiving the blessing of a saved husband, please show me what it is, and help me to stop doing it. And Lord if there are things that I should be doing in order to receive the blessing of a saved husband please show me what those things are and help me to do them."
I sure would like to read what God had to tell you because that is my problem too. Why won´t men who are Godly ask me out or even talk to me as a friend, on their own, but men who are not saved will?
Look forward to seeing more from you
God bless
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/10/2009 2:15:27 PM
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mahad
Posts: 102
Joined: 8/17/2006
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Sure, I would love to share. Below is my prayer in its entirety. Following that is the Lord's reply.
quote:
9/8/09 Lord I come before you with praise and thanksgiving for blessing me to be married some day. That day has yet to come but I stand firmly on your words to me six summers ago that "you are the desire of someone's heart....someone is praying you." You had said and have said many things before and after to confirm that I would some day marry, but that day and those words still brings tears to my eyes more than the rest. To know that such a mighty and awesome God, creator, redeemer, and King, would stop by my prayer asking to receive the desire of my heart, to tell me that there is man somewhere praying for a woman like me, that I am the desire of one of your sons' heart. To let me know that just like I am praying for a husband with certain qualities and characteristics, somewhere there is a man praying for a wife who possesses the same qualities and characteristics that I have. That blew my mind. I love you so much for that Lord, and for forgiving me for almost making a mistake then with a man who was walking outside your will. Thank you for removing the fear that would make me move ahead of your word. Thank you for not letting me fall. Thank you for your mercy and grace and love and faithfulness. Thank you for the friendship that is now budding with the man of God you have blessed me to meet. I am standing your word and I am trusting you to bring us together according to your will and our faith.
Lord I also am praying for my son and my daughter who are now of age and desire to marry according to your will as well. Bless them to know for themselves and not to fall victim to the deceptions of their own hearts or the mouths of others. Help me not to worry for them, but pray the same prayers for them that I have prayed for myself and to believe for them just as I am believing for myself.
Finally Lord I thank you for this place where believers from all over the world join in fellowship with one thing in common: love and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. Bless those on this forum who are husbands who looking by faith for their wives and those who are wives waiting in faith for their husbands. Thank you in advance for blessing us all to be joined together with our future spouses as one in you in that beautiful union appropriately called holy matrimony.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
_____________________________
Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/10/2009 2:51:56 PM
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mahad
Posts: 102
Joined: 8/17/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dinita717
quote:
"Lord why is it that in 19 years since I was reclaimed from being a backslider, not one saved man has expressed an interest in me besides friendship? Why is it that the only two men in 19 years to express their love for me (one of them I dated one I did not) were both walking outside your will? (One never saved, the other a backslidden minister) Lord, am I doing to prevent saved men from being interested in me? Lord, if I'm doing anything to prevent myself from receiving the blessing of a saved husband, please show me what it is, and help me to stop doing it. And Lord if there are things that I should be doing in order to receive the blessing of a saved husband please show me what those things are and help me to do them."
I sure would like to read what God had to tell you because that is my problem too. Why won´t men who are Godly ask me out or even talk to me as a friend, on their own, but men who are not saved will?
Look forward to seeing more from you
God bless
As I continued to pray this prayer and wait on the Lord for an answer, the following thing began to happen: As I talked with my new friend, a saved man of God, I noticed that at times I was flirting, acting silly, blushing, etc... I pondered to myself why was I acting like this and began to pray for help to stop when the Lord gave revelation: When I was reclaimed back into the body of Christ, I was a 27 year old single parent who was very active in the world if you know what I mean. All I knew of dating and relationships was what I practiced in the world. Although I liked one or two brothers in the church, they did not like me. I was known as a strong saved and satisfied single parent,but yet, no one was interested in me beyond friendship brother and sister in Christ relationship. The reason I was successful with the two men I mentioned is honestly speaking that is all I know. That is all I was comfortable with. Perhaps the brothers in Christ could pick up on that worldly vibe that I didn't even realize I was sending out, who knows? But that is the revelation the Lord gave me. I never dated anyone in the church, was never taught how to date a saved man of God. Sounds ridiculous, but it's of all the single workshops and ministries I've been to over the years, this was never a part of the discussions, teachings, and practices. People just expect you to know. And so, through this revelation, God is showing me how to let a person know I'm interested in godly ways that honor him, not to fall back on what I know, and am comfortable doing. Thinking before I respond for example, being concious of my voice, topics I bring up, responses etc.... One last thing is that God will definitely let your true personality andyour sincere heart shine through whatever bumbling rambing mutterings your mouth and are still trying to master, and that brings me comfort.
It feels like I'm rambling, but I hope this helps.
_____________________________
Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/10/2009 3:12:07 PM
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Elena1030
Posts: 2104
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hispen
the Lord gave revelation: Although I liked one or two brothers in the church, they did not like me.
I was known as a strong saved and satisfied single parent,but yet, no one was interested in me beyond friendship brother and sister in Christ relationship. <snip> Perhaps the brothers in Christ could pick up on that worldly vibe that I didn't even realize I was sending out. Who knows? But that is the revelation the Lord gave me.
Definitely He was illuminating your past so that you could see the connections among your patterns of thinking, speaking, and behaving and what resulted from those. He is an awesome Teacher!!
Thank you for sharing this. It has shed light on my own past.
You just never know what the work of God in your life, is gonna do as it ripples out and touches the lives of other Christ-followers. He is FABOO!! \o/
quote:
I never dated anyone in the church, was never taught how to date a saved man of God. Sounds ridiculous, but of all the single workshops and ministries I've been to over the years, this was never a part of the discussions, teachings, and practices. People just expect you to know.
Ya know... I've only ever dated Christians... some from my own congregation. But I'm still not sure I know how to date in truly godly fashion... when it comes to the subtle details of speech and behavior. Wow!
'Cause my models have been worldy ones... Even from fellow believers. It's all about being flirtatious or pretty.... even if the attempt was made to dress on the modest side of trendy 'n' cute. At least, that was my perception.
quote:
And so, through this revelation, God is showing me how to let a person know I'm interested in godly ways that honor Him, not to fall back on what I know, and am comfortable doing. Thinking before I respond, for example; being conscious of my voice, topics I bring up, responses; etc.
Totally makes sense. Have ya got a "for instance" that you'd feel comfortable sharing?
quote:
One last thing is that God will definitely let your true personality and your sincere heart shine through whatever bumbling rambing mutterings your mouth and you are still trying to master, and that brings me comfort.
Amen, sister! Amen! I just watched/heard Priscilla Shirer in a video portion of a Bible study on David -- and she said, "God is not looking for perfect women. He is looking for passionate women."
You've said exactly the same message, just gotten a bit more specific on how this truth manifests itself in the life of a single gal who wants to love her God well.
Thank you, sweet sister. May He continue to prosper you in this area, for His name's sake and for your growth as a flower  in His garden.
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Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/10/2009 4:40:19 PM
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mahad
Posts: 102
Joined: 8/17/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
Definitely He was illuminating your past so that you could see the connections among your patterns of thinking, speaking, and behaving and what resulted from those. He is an awesome Teacher!!
Thank you for sharing this. It has shed light on my own past.
You just never know what the work of God in your life, is gonna do as it ripples out and touches the lives of other Christ-followers. He is FABOO!! \o/
Yes, I was just thanking God for my testimony, and that my testimony has been a blessing to someone else. Now that my tears have subsided, I want to also thank you!
quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
Thank you, sweet sister. May He continue to prosper you in this area, for His name's sake and for your growth as a flower in His garden.
You are so welcome. Thanks for your kind encouraging words. As Rev. 12:11 says, we can and will overcome the enemy by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony!
quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
Ya know... I've only ever dated Christians... some from my own congregation. But I'm still not sure I know how to date in truly godly fashion... when it comes to the subtle details of speech and behavior. Wow! 'Cause my models have been worldy ones... Even from fellow believers. It's all about being flirtatious or pretty.... even if the attempt was made to dress on the modest side of trendy 'n' cute. At least, that was my perception.
I agree, because even in modest dress, I was obviously still sending out worldy signals.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
Totally makes sense. Have ya got a "for instance" that you'd feel comfortable sharing?
Sure, I have an example I feel comfortable sharing. You're not driking coffee or anything, are you, cause this is bound to make you laugh, and I don't want you to spray your computer screen, LOL.
One afternoon the saved man of God and I were chatting for almost an hour online. We then moved to the phone to continue. When he heard me say hello, after a few moments, he said "You sound tired." I thought to myself "huh?" But what I realized in that instant is that the tone of my voice when I said hello was perhaps a little to low a little to soft and maybe even a little to flirty. His way of calling me on it was PRICELESS!!!! I immediately recognized my tone, changed it, and laughingly said "Maybe just tired of typing!" He laughed and we continued to have a great conversation!!!
I can't tell you the number of times I think of his comment "you sound tired" and just bust out laughing to myself!!!!
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Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/10/2009 4:59:02 PM
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Elena1030
Posts: 2104
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hispen
One afternoon the saved man of God and I were chatting for almost an hour online. We then moved to the phone to continue. When he heard me say hello, after a few moments, he said "You sound tired." I thought to myself "huh?" But what I realized in that instant is that the tone of my voice when I said hello was perhaps a little too low, a little too soft, and maybe even a little too flirty. His way of calling me on it was PRICELESS!!!!
I immediately recognized my tone, changed it, and laughingly said, "Maybe just tired of typing!" He laughed, and we continued to have a great conversation!!!
Heh, heh! That's cool!
And even if he had thought you were tired... it's great that God used his comment to alert you to your nudging a toe toward the line between the straight and narrow and the not. Thus, you were given the opportunity to not continue or grow in flirtatiousness in that moment. And you obeyed. And God honored it!
Wahoo!!!
So... God is teaching you the where the line is between (a) godly, friendly playfulness and (b) flirting, yes?
I've noticed that about some friends of mine, a dating couple -- they are able to be playful with each other (and have been so from the beginning) without going into the territory of toying with each other and stirring up lust.
I guess it's a matter of doing a lot of heart-checking... and reining in one's thoughts and emotions... and being self-restrained. Hey, sounds like an aspect of the fruit of the Spirit! 
And doing it b/c you truly want to be loving and kind and care-full of the other person - to be a blessing...... And not about trying to be holy in the other person's eyes or in your own (or both).
Love how God's helping several of us see the pieces of His truth falling together!! Weeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/14/2009 9:23:51 AM
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mahad
Posts: 102
Joined: 8/17/2006
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Between the last time we spoke, Saturday, and last night, Monday night, while in prayer I was reminded of something the Lord told me 5 years ago regarding someone else I was beginning to have feelings for. "Be His Friend." I ignored those instructions and almost made a shipwreck of my relationship with Christ.
So "friendship" was impressed in my spirit for the rest of the weekend. When my friend and I talked last night, I felt the most comfortable since we began talking to one another. He shared recaps of his lastest sermons, and even the ones he's now working on. I was so relaxed.
I feel God is teaching me something and I'm finally learning.
< Message edited by hispen -- 9/15/2009 9:21:15 AM >
_____________________________
Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/24/2009 8:51:43 AM
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mahad
Posts: 102
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God is still moving and speaking and blessing our friendship. I was sick last week and he called all several times to check up on me. That felt good. He has begun to share sermon ideas and his thoughts on pastoral counseling classes he's taking. I am trying to keep a level head, smile, and not feel so rushed.
This is something God has opened my eyes to. Why are you in such a hurry? The Lord seemed to be asking me one day. He showed me anxiety that I didn't even know was there. He told me that my anxiousness comes directly from doubt, worry, unbelief and FEAR. He pointed me to His word and said I DID NOT GIVE YOU THIS FEAR, I gave you POWER, LOVE AND A SOUND MIND.
And so now God is teaching me how to recognize these things in me and how to rid myself of all that is not of Him. It's a daily thing, because the enemy is real and so is our flesh, full of insecurities, esteem issues, memories of our painful pasts make it hard to really believe the promises God has told us awaits our futures. There are times when fear grips me so I find myself holding my breath, clenching my teeth, hands balled up in fists and my elbows digging into my sides. But that is not of God. Fear makes some people want to rush things and it makes others want to avoid any situation that may result in being more hurt than they already are. But the spirit of fear is not of God.
I am learning how to walk by faith and not by sight. Not just in regards to marriage but in regards to life itself. This is actually something I began last December. I even that made it my new year's resolution, I just needed a heavenly reminder that you cannot walk by faith living in fear. The two do not go together. And so I am learning to trust God and to stand on His word. I am learning to accept the peace that passes all understanding and walk away from the fears that have taunted and tortured me my whole life.
There are goals I have set for myself that I believe I will accomplish someday. I will become an author. I will be healthy regardless of my diagnosis. I will run my own publishing company. I will reach and teach and preach the gospel to those in my family, church and community who have been assigned to me. And I will be married. BY FAITH.
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Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/28/2009 7:20:38 AM
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mahad
Posts: 102
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Last night he said "thank you for your love and care" I didn't know how to take that or what to say so I simply said 'you're welcome' and promptly changed the subject!!!
In many ways, though I am in my mid 40's I'm still very much like the shy high school girl with a crush on a very popular guy who can't believe he is expressing an interest in her too!!!
I think that has to do with how long it's been since I've been in a real relationship. I was in my mid 20's !!! (I don't count the person I dated a few years ago because he was someone I dated in my early 20's)
One thing that kinda buggs me is although we do speak on the phone, mostly our conversations are by his initiation via chatting. Is this the norm now I wonder? Not sure. Think I'll ask the guys in that thread. But I would prefer phone conversations to blackberry chatting. To me it's just more personal.
Okay, I'm done rambling for the day........
< Message edited by mahad -- 9/28/2009 8:04:51 AM >
_____________________________
Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/30/2009 6:13:21 AM
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GeoffMo
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OK, speaking as a single Rev. myself (one that does not date). Do you think your brother in Christ isn't going through some of the same emotions and thoughts you are describing? If he is the person you say he is I promise he is spending just as much time in prayer about this as you are. Do you want old school thoughts or new todaisy religion? I'm old school. As you keep your walk with Christ close he will guide you to where he wants you to be. A house that is uneaqually yoked?
On the same dime I think it would be OK for you to call him as long as you keep the conversation light. Maybe, just maybe the lord will ask you to pray on this together. Remeber God loves you and wants for all of his children to be happy. He knows what you need and is leading you just don't rush.
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RE: This is my story........ - 9/30/2009 7:53:23 AM
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mahad
Posts: 102
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Thanks GeoffMo I appreciate your feedback. Always nice to hear things from a brother in Christ, especially in this case a single Rev. such as yourself. I did let him know last night that I enjoy our chats because I do, but I couldn't bring myself to say that I prefer the telephone. Not sure why but I put it off. I'll share that with him soon, if it continues to be an issue. Right now I'm more concerned with drawing as close to God as I can during this budding stage so that no matter where things go, I'll be okay.
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Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 10/6/2009 7:11:15 PM
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mahad
Posts: 102
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just wanted to come back guys and say that today via chatting he said something like i hope i made your day better, i said yes, and asked him the same. he said yes, and that i was his daily sunshine "on the computer" well, that was my opening to say that i more phone calls than chatting would be alright with me. he said okay, ended the chat and called me and we picked up where the chatting left off. we just finished talking and he said he'd call me later on after he got back in from church.
he got the message (i think for some reason maybe he thought i prefered chatting) i thought he did what with is pastoral schedule and all. anyway, i'm thanking God for the little things.
meanwhile, back at the ranch.......
on the whole, things are going well. i am trying to remember that there is no need to hurry and i don't need to hear a declaration of love and a marriage proposal to continue getting to know this man. i think as women, so often that is where we go wrong. we want to know everything up front right away, probably because those times in when we didn't were the times we were most hurt. so now when we meet a brother it's NOW LORD. our actions say NOW LORD, WHEN LORD, and WHY LORD so much more than they say YES LORD. yes to Your time line, not mine. yes to Your will not mine. yes to Your choice not mine. that's much easier said than done i know. TRUST ME i know.
you know what else the Lord recently taught me? that i should be looking to see Christ in this man. not for signs and bells and whistles but for the nature of Christ, the love of Christ, the knowledge of his word, etc.... those are the signs i should seek, if any. WOW what an eye opener.
so, yeah, he's interested. he's making that clearer every day. but God is making things clearer everyday too. And i'm listening. Boy am i listening.
< Message edited by mahad -- 10/6/2009 7:19:19 PM >
_____________________________
Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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RE: This is my story........ - 10/13/2009 8:35:38 PM
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mahad
Posts: 102
Joined: 8/17/2006
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Well the replies from other thread I started...I just want to be UNDERSTOOD... really got me to thinking. And to praying. Looking at oneself through God's eyes is a startling thing. He not only makes you look at your actions, but your motives - the reasons why you do the things you do, feel the things you feel, and think the things you think. He has done and continues to do this for me. He is showing me how self esteem issues from my childhood have resurfaced and are threatening to to cause problems in me and in this new budding friendship.
I am grateful though, for these revelations. Truly I see now more than ever the need to take it slow. There is much to be done in me if I am to become a closer friend to a man of God. I am grateful for this, as I have no doubt that God is doing some pruning on Him as well, though I am sure not nearly as much.
I chuckled to God the other day saying "So, all these years when I was crying, 'Send Him Lord, I'm ready, I'm ready', I really wasn't so ready after all, huh, Lord?" I could hear Him whisper with a smile "Now you're getting it".
This sweet exchange between the Lord and I prompted me to remember a prayer I recently wrote to Him during my month of consecration:
"Thank you Lord for loving me, understanding me, accepting me, challenging me, sustaining me, and never leaving me alone. I love you first, last and always. You are my heart, my life and my destiny."
< Message edited by mahad -- 10/13/2009 8:48:00 PM >
_____________________________
Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul. Psalm 66:16
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(yes of good report) but still it's terrifying if we are meant to become something more. That is a huge thing in my book. I've increased the amount of consecrating and fasting in my prayer life on this matter because as our friendship grows, I want to be as close to God as possible! 
