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[Poll]
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Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances?
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| Can only attend if parents are there |
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| Can attend dance or prom |
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| Can not attend dances but will allow Prom |
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| Can not attend dances or Prom |
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Total Votes : 49
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(last vote on : 10/28/2009 3:48:19 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/10/2009 8:01:22 PM
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Homegrownkids
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I already know where I stand on this. I'm just curious how others stand. Maybe you can give your reasons.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/10/2009 8:12:20 PM
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manda59
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At what age would that be in the USA? (being in the UK as I am)
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/10/2009 8:15:54 PM
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Homegrownkids
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I think Dances start in Middle School, grades 6-8, although one area we lived in the dances started in 3/4th grade. Prom is usually High School.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/10/2009 8:19:44 PM
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sharonjef2007
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Middle school is age 11-14 or so
High school is age 14-18 or so
And I voted yes, they should be able to go to dances assuming grades are good and there are no reasons otherwise that they should not be able to attend.
There really is not much dancing going on during a middle school dance anyhow. And in high school, students are old enough that they need to be able to start making decisions on their own. I went to some, not all dances in high school. I'm pretty sure I went to all of them in middle school. I'd rather have kids in a school and dancing then out and and about while not being chaperoned at all.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/10/2009 8:34:32 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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Our kids will be allowed to go. "Dances" in middle school were pretty lame(although I only know this from siblings, I was homeschooled) and didn't involve much dancing at all. There are no dances here in Elementary school.
In highschool we had a dance per quarter, but they were all so lame that the only ones I attended were homecoming and prom. My mom did have some say in my dresses, but mostly just to make sure they were modest(no major cleavage showing). Honestly, I didn't do much dancing with boys, it was mostly with my girlfriends. I had official dates for proms but none of them were very into dancing.
So yes, our kids will be allowed to go.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/10/2009 9:32:56 PM
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stampinlady
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My daughter had a loads of fun at the homecoming dance last year. She was a freshy. Got all dressed up and had a date too. If you teach your kids how to choose good friends the chances of them going bad are slim, imo.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/10/2009 9:35:21 PM
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manda59
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From: Hampshire, UK
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My children were free to choose to go to school discos (it was discos, not dances) and also to their Prom at age 16.
We taught them from a young age how to discern and choose for themselves, and actually they both only ever went to one school disco, deciding that it really wasn't their sort of thing. My dd loves dancing, but found that very few people danced and that it was way too crowded and people got silly.
Both of mine, however, thoroughly enjoyed their School Proms. The school take it very seriously and everything is done properly and is well supervised. The local police even drop by during the course of the evening, just to make sure there's no gatecrashers, and usually stick around and chat with the young people.
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sharonjef, October 2009
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/10/2009 9:36:29 PM
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Sideways
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If I trusted the character of my child, if I knew their date and some of the friends they were going with, then yes. I only went to a few dances and my senior prom. They were ok, but it's good to have those experiences.
A lot of people I knew went to after prom parties that lasted until dawn and had no drugs or alcohol at all.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/10/2009 10:15:22 PM
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coolfamily6
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In middle school dd was not allowed to go to dances until 8th grade. Their dances are "closed" meaning that only students from the school can attend. The chaperones in the gym are the teachers, parents supervise the snack area and the restroom. The teachers monitor the music and the dancing, one year the kids got out of hand and they turned the lights on and had the kids call parents to be picked up early. It hasn't happened again. They keep a tight reign on the rules, which I respect.
Now that she is in high school we are back to the no dance rule. We do a dance alternative, so that she does not feel like she is sitting home alone while everyone is out having fun. Homecoming is next week. We are doing a mall scavenger hunt, then coming home for pizza and a sleepover (only the girls). A lot of her friends either attend different schools or are not going to go to the dance either so they are excited that we decided to do an alternative to the dance. I have started to wonder if kids go just because everyone else is going.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/11/2009 1:12:52 AM
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peculiar_lady2
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quote:
We're homeschooled, so it's moot.  yup, us too
quote:
From dh, it would be an absolute no. From me, it would be no, but I can understand why other parents choose differently.
yup, us too
Homecoming would be fine according to me, but I don't like dances, and that's pretty much what prom turns out to be. Homecoming for our school did not include dancing (because it was a private school), but it did have a bunch of other very fun stuff throughout that week.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/11/2009 8:56:06 AM
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BlessedMamaofmany
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oh and fwiw, my best friend in high school was a christian. She was allowed to attend both of our proms. Her mom was rather strict with her dress (by my standards then LOL), but she did get to go.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/11/2009 1:09:22 PM
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APZR
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I've never seen a prom or school dance event that didn't have ample teacher supervision, and I'd feel much better about letting my kids go to a school event than hanging out on the streets with no supervision what so ever. I've never understood why some see dancing as a sinful/lustful thing.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/11/2009 1:17:18 PM
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Sideways
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It depends on the dancing, but I never saw any "bump and grind" style dancing at any of my school dances, and my second high school (11 and 12th grade) was not terribly conservative. For our senior prom the parents were invited for the dinner and most left between 10-11pm, but we still had teachers supervising. Many students, including myself, brought younger siblings to the prom, as well as dates. Most just came in groups. When I say younger siblings, I mean ones in their teens, not little kids.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/11/2009 3:01:15 PM
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reach
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I was forbidden to go when I was younger, so it made it a think i want to do. KWIM. So I think I would let me kids go, but it would depend on the kids, the level of trust, and grades.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/11/2009 4:33:24 PM
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garsyt
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We have decided to allow our kids to attend dances IF they want to. But there will be rules and there will be a set in stone curfew. But it really hasn't come up.
Our schools have middle school dances and a few in highschool including homecoming and Prom.
I have one that went through middle school and didn't go to any dances. I have one in middle school currently and she doesn't seem to care either way yet. They've only had one dance thus far tho. There's another one coming in December.
My high schooler didn't ask to go to Homecoming - likely because his girlfriend didn't care one way or the other.
Blessings,
Garsy
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/11/2009 11:57:24 PM
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relady
Posts: 679
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From: Greater St. Louis Metro
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quote:
We have decided to allow our kids to attend dances IF they want to. But there will be rules and there will be a set in stone curfew. But it really hasn't come up.
Good plan. Some kids really like to go to dances and some don't. I loved dances and my parents and I fought over them until I finally won that battle, one of the few I ever won, BTW. However, with the curfew....if I might make a suggestion for when that time comes? When you are discussing curfew, please don't make them be the first one to leave because they have the early curfew. When I was a Senior in HS (back in the day, LOL) I literally was the only one of my crowd of friends -- male or female -- that had a curfew. I was teased and made fun of, and I was always the first to leave every activity. It was miserable. And I hated my parents for it. Not to say don't have one....just try to be reasonably flexible with it. 
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/12/2009 7:26:45 AM
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garsyt
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quote:
When you are discussing curfew, please don't make them be the first one to leave because they have the early curfew.
Don't think I have to worry too much about this - right at this moment anyway. My eldest son's girlfriend's parents are pretty strict about curfews and such. Especially for things like that. Plus right now the school has a very strict policy about when school dances end and when kids MUST be picked up and usually that time is works out fine with me, so I can blame it on school policy!
Blessings,
Garsy
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/12/2009 9:30:12 AM
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AslansChild
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I voted yes. School dances are a part of learning in that kids need to understand how to socialize. My son attends an all boys school and each quarter they have a dance that allows them to meet and mingle with the sister schools. Proms are the big end of year event and depending upon the kid this may be a boyfriend-girlfriend situation or it may just be an opportuity to dress up and enjoy a right of passage. I have spoken with grown-ups who were "forbidden" to go to there proms and still hold that against there parents. By the time a child raised in a christian home is 16/17 they should be able to be trusted at a Prom.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/12/2009 12:02:20 PM
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coolfamily6
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quote:
Entire nations and ethnic groups don't even have a concept of "school dances". They're all mal-socialized?
Some very mal-socialized nations come to mind. I do agree with you about school dances not being necessary for socializing.
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If your bible is a mess; your life won't be.
~Encouragement a mom gave to our children at our First Grader's Bible Ceremony!
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/12/2009 12:17:40 PM
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Consecrated2God
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I disagree that being homeschooled makes dances a moot point. I was homeschooled, and I attended two dances at a 4-H function, and was invited to a dance by a public schooled boyfriend, although I didn't go. Our state's homeschooling organization also sponsors a prom each year. I wanted my then-fiance-now-husband to take me, but he (at the time) wouldn't dance. So the only actual experience I've had at a dance was the 4-H dances.
There was a lot of bumping and grinding going on at that dance, and the kids were only 14 and 15 there. If my kids go to the same event, I probably won't want them going to the dance. I have nothing against dancing--I love to dance--but the behavior I witnessed wasn't something I'd want my own kids to witness.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/12/2009 12:23:42 PM
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Consecrated2God
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Oh, and I wanted to add, I'd probably be okay with my kids going to a homeschool dance.
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) doesn't give me warm fuzzies kwim? 
I think some might question whether America has the whole socialization thing figured out properly. 
