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ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

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I can understand making a choice based on your own family convictions and your own children. Not sure about categorizing the rest of us who make a different choice.

Wow kinda took the broad-brush in this response. I was not categorizing. People need to make the best choice for their situation. As a parent who "chose" to send his son to a private all boys school I see the importance of the role dances play in his natural maturity. I had the experiences of going to both public and private Christian schools for High School and I have friends that were home schooled. Each group contains individuals who have different socialization needs that are evident but not as a result of how they were educated. I believe the "concern" of dances on this topic is what can happen what will they hear and how will they behave. By the time a Christian child is in High school I don't think going to a dance will do any harm and by having a child already in a more social situation (in school) they will be able to represent themselves and Christ accordingly.

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My point was, school dances as we know them are a relatively recent and entirely cultural thing. They are not a necessary part of growing up, but part of the American (or British, or whatever) experience, and a person isn't going to devastate their children's entire life and make them unable to relate to other people by choosing not to partake in a particular cultural activity.

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ORIGINAL: AslansChild

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My point was, school dances as we know them are a relatively recent and entirely cultural thing. They are not a necessary part of growing up, but part of the American (or British, or whatever) experience, and a person isn't going to devastate their children's entire life and make them unable to relate to other people by choosing not to partake in a particular cultural activity.

I guess you need to define recent. To my understanding school dances have been around for over 50 years at least.

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Wow kinda took the broad-brush in this response. I was not categorizing. People need to make the best choice for their situation.

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I voted yes. School dances are a part of learning in that kids need to understand how to socialize.

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ORIGINAL: Kerrlaw

I don't normally post in this folder, but I saw the thread title and it reminded me of something that Mrs. K showed me from the Dr. Phil show. I don't know how widespread this behavior is, but I was absolutely flabbergasted (and I do not flabbergast easily).

The subject of the show was "Teen Sex Trends". The speaker is a teacher who was shocked by what she found as a chaperone at the prom. This could scare the dickens out of a parent.

Teen prom behavior

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We do not have to paint all teens with a broad brush. I know a lot of teens that aren't out there going to prom just to have sex, get high or drunk etc. There are young adults in our SS class that went to dances in high school and prom and stayed pure until their wedding night.

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ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

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We do not have to paint all teens with a broad brush. I know a lot of teens that aren't out there going to prom just to have sex, get high or drunk etc. There are young adults in our SS class that went to dances in high school and prom and stayed pure until their wedding night.

That is very true.

But, a parent may decide that participating in activities where there is a lot of that behavior going on, or a lot of talk about it is not necessary for their teen.

Or, a teen may be so disgusted and put off by the garbage surrounding the event that he or she doesn't feel like sifting through it for the good stuff is even worthwhile. That teen might feel there are better things to do with their time. That would be me.

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ORIGINAL: stellaluna
I can name off other things, too, that can be gained. As far back as the 1700s it was very important to learn to dance and to learn to conduct oneself at a dance. I personally think in recent years there has been a trend away from sending kids to dancing school (or cotillion) and those social skills have been lost.

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Or, a teen may be so disgusted and put off by the garbage surrounding the event that he or she doesn't feel like sifting through it for the good stuff is even worthwhile. That teen might feel there are better things to do with their time.

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They can teach a lesson in extending an invitation and graciously accepting or denying an invitation. They can teach a lesson in planning for a special event, which includes any niceties that are appropriate, like buying flowers, arranging for transportation, communicating with parents, choosing clothing, etc. It is an opportunity for parents to discuss behavior that is appropriate in a public setting, what to do if someone asks you to dance, what to do if someone doesn't ask you to dance; proms might have a receiving line, which most teens haven't had to navigate on their own.

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ORIGINAL: AslansChild

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Or, a teen may be so disgusted and put off by the garbage surrounding the event that he or she doesn't feel like sifting through it for the good stuff is even worthwhile. That teen might feel there are better things to do with their time.

I cannot speak to your experiences but dances I have attended might have had loud music and some pretty awful cardboard pizza but I would not use the word garbage. Sometimes I feel that it is the misunderstanding or the generalization of "secular events" being filled with filth. When in fact these events are pretty well supervised. I also think non-saved teens will police out those that can ruin the event by acting in a manner that is disrespectful. I graduated from a Christian high school that did not have a prom, they had a Senior banquet. Approximately 9 months after graduation one of my classmates was a mom, three of my classmates needed to attend sobriety classes because they were caught driving with an open container. Its not the event, it's those attending.

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If handled properly, school dances can be a very important socialization exercise. They can teach a lesson in extending an invitation and graciously accepting or denying an invitation. They can teach a lesson in planning for a special event, which includes any niceties that are appropriate, like buying flowers, arranging for transportation, communicating with parents, choosing clothing, etc. It is an opportunity for parents to discuss behavior that is appropriate in a public setting, what to do if someone asks you to dance, what to do if someone doesn't ask you to dance; proms might have a receiving line, which most teens haven't had to navigate on their own.

I can name off other things, too, that can be gained. As far back as the 1700s it was very important to learn to dance and to learn to conduct oneself at a dance. I personally think in recent years there has been a trend away from sending kids to dancing school (or cotillion) and those social skills have been lost.

Proud to be...

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I haven't really seen alot of legitimate reasons to be honest...

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I just came across this randomly when I was viewing the forum home page...but am wondering, why is dancing bad? Why wouldn't parents not let their children go? I haven't really seen alot of legitimate reasons to be honest...

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I don't think all dancing is bad, but the type of dancing to the modern music these days, to me, looks like lustful acts. Some of the moves just look sexual. The music can be loud and not music we would approve to have in our own home. Also, the closeness of boys/girls...etc...some dances just tempt to physical acts. And, especially at Prom, there seems to be an expectation of partying/ getting drunk and sometimes sex after.

Proud to be...