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[Poll]
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Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances?
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| Can only attend if parents are there |
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| Can attend dance or prom |
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| Can not attend dances but will allow Prom |
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| Can not attend dances or Prom |
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Total Votes : 49
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(last vote on : 10/28/2009 3:48:19 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/13/2009 6:48:26 PM
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sharonjef2007
Posts: 2302
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Speaking of ballroom dancing, that includes some very VERY sexy latin dances. IMO, they are no worse then most of the other dancing going on during these dances. So, just be carefull with overall statements like ballroom. It could mean a lot of things.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/13/2009 6:54:23 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7003
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
Speaking of ballroom dancing, that includes some very VERY sexy latin dances. IMO, they are no worse then most of the other dancing going on during these dances. So, just be carefull with overall statements like ballroom. It could mean a lot of things.
That is true.
Various kinds of dancing are popular in our area. The dance is conducted the same type as the swing dancing and held in the same place. They hold half an hour of lessons, then the dance begins. Lots of families attend, so it's mild. But it is true that you have to be paying attention and know what you're getting into. We would attend as a family or my daughter would go with a group of friends that includes adult chaperones.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/13/2009 7:03:36 PM
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sharonjef2007
Posts: 2302
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quote:
Various kinds of dancing are popular in our area. The dance is conducted the same type as the swing dancing and held in the same place. They hold half an hour of lessons, then the dance begins. Lots of families attend, so it's mild. But it is true that you have to be paying attention and know what you're getting into. We would attend as a family or my daughter would go with a group of friends that includes adult chaperones.
I used to do that too....it was just country line dancing instead of swing. And of course the two step....LOL! I'd love to learn swing....LOVE to learn it. I would have as a teen too if I had known they still did it.
As for school dances, it is really hard for me to say yes or no with such generalities. Each school, each area, each kid and each situation is different. Really, I'd need to know all the specifics, just like in any situation, in order to make an informed decision.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/13/2009 7:27:03 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7003
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
As for school dances, it is really hard for me to say yes or no with such generalities. Each school, each area, each kid and each situation is different. Really, I'd need to know all the specifics, just like in any situation, in order to make an informed decision.
lol That says it quite simply and is exactly how I feel about the whole thing.
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My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/13/2009 8:15:43 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4928
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
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I was the one who mentioned the waltz. I was just mentioning that as a kind of "real" dance, as opposed to what they do at dances these days. I didn't say anyone would expect to go to a prom and waltz, although I'd love it if they did. I love waltzing. 
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/13/2009 8:39:22 PM
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stellaluna
Posts: 4163
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
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There are lots of different kinds of dances; waltz is one, club dancing is another.
There are lots of different kinds of dance events; most school dances are the casual kind that happen fairly often, while proms and some homecoming dances are more formal.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/14/2009 1:30:38 AM
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purejoy
Posts: 350
Joined: 4/15/2005
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I voted yes, can attend dance or prom.
And, after reading all of the responses, it seems there is a huge geographical and/or cultural piece that plays in here.
I haven't been out of high school that long. There was minimal bumping/grinding and those that were doing it were told to knock it off. If they didn't, they got kicked out. There was also no waltzing.  The majority of people went without a date and went in big groups. The dance was only one part of the night. Getting ready, going to dinner, going to the dance, and then to someone's house afterwards were all part of the "experience." I either had a curfew or had a curfew to be at a friend's house by a certain time. No drinking, sex, or anything else involved. Just a good time for what I would call good kids. Now, I'm positive there were others who made different choices than I did, but they weren't part of my social group so I really was not involved or exposed to any of that.
Based on my experience, I have no problem with my kids going to a dance...knowing that there will be chaperones, and there are rules about what they wear, who they go with, curfew, etc.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/14/2009 2:15:47 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 6477
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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Should they? I don't know and won't answer for anyone else or their kids.
My kids will probably not be involved in public school dances, prom, homecoming, etc. They probably will not participate with any dances put on by the Christian school either, though I can't say that for absolutely sure at this point. Yes, our Christian school has dances. Or at least they do right now...that may change.
There are plenty of other things for kids to do to have fun. We hope to be the cool place to be when our kids are teens, so that we can know our kids' friends well and make sure supervision is appropriate.
My husband and I both strongly believe that young women and men should not ever be alone until they are mature enough and old enough to be considering marriage, and even then, not alone in a private place. Unless and until we are assured that that will happen at a dance of any sort, they will not go.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/14/2009 2:19:35 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7003
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
My husband and I both strongly believe that young women and men should not ever be alone until they are mature enough and old enough to be considering marriage, and even then, not alone in a private place. Unless and until we are assured that that will happen at a dance of any sort, they will not go.
I never thought of a dance as a private place or alone. One thing I like about the dances my girls have attended is the social interaction and fun they are having in a group setting actually doing something. I figure if my daughter is going to try to be alone with a boy, any dance I would send my child to would be no different than youth group or church camp. Especially at church camp the kids have lots of opportunity sneak off if they were of that persuasion.
_____________________________
My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/14/2009 2:32:10 PM
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AslansChild
Posts: 66
Joined: 6/30/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
We hope to be the cool place to be when our kids are teens, so that we can know our kids' friends well and make sure supervision is appropriate.
Cool has a lot of definitions. I'm thinking wide screen TV, Video games and an unlimited supply of food and beverages. We have been the place to hang at times and even had the kids play dominoes for hours or Cadoo. Hanging out with friends is one thing where it's nice that your home is where they want to hang, but the OP is about a larger social setting. If your intent is to provide an alternative on the same night as a dance I'm sure that if it is presented properly it would be an option. I would think this is simialr to offering a harvest party on the same night as Halloween. Memories are memories, it's more about the company and the funning stories than it is about the activity sometimes, also a lot less pressure. For my kids, if they chose to go to a dance they know the rules and I am confident that they will make good decisions. If they chose not to go and go to a movie, bowling or a friends house that's cool to, but the same rules apply.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/14/2009 3:10:26 PM
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zoebob
Posts: 7961
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: land of limbo
Status: online
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My Christian school had a formal Jr/Sr banquet. It was put on by the jr's and at least one of each couple must be a jr or sr. By "put on" I mean the Jr class planned and paid for it. YEs, we had to pay for tickets.
THere was a formal dinner, slide show, speaker/entertainment.
Many of the parents then hosted parties afterwards.
This accomplishes a lot of the things that some of you are saying are good about proms/homecoming. THe boy I went with my sr year had gone to a public school and said it was much better than his prom the year before.
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/14/2009 5:56:55 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 4336
Status: offline
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quote:
My husband and I both strongly believe that young women and men should not ever be alone until they are mature enough and old enough to be considering marriage, and even then, not alone in a private place. Unless and until we are assured that that will happen at a dance of any sort, they will not go.
YUP...exactly where we stand too!!
quote:
ORIGINAL: zoebob
My Christian school had a formal Jr/Sr banquet. It was put on by the jr's and at least one of each couple must be a jr or sr. By "put on" I mean the Jr class planned and paid for it. YEs, we had to pay for tickets.
THere was a formal dinner, slide show, speaker/entertainment.
Many of the parents then hosted parties afterwards.
This accomplishes a lot of the things that some of you are saying are good about proms/homecoming. THe boy I went with my sr year had gone to a public school and said it was much better than his prom the year before.
The private school I went to did not do dances, however they did Homecoming every year. It was a fancy banquet and everyone went all out for it. There was entertainment, fun activities, but no dancing.
For the seniors, they let the class plan something...in fact it was called the "Senior Something" because every class was different. My older brothers class did a formal progressive dinner. My class did a fancy dinner at a banquet hall. Overall for me it was very boring...I was the only one without a "date" (because I didn't believe in dating), and really it was just boring. I don't like getting dressed up like that, so I didn't enjoy that part. On a good note though, my dad was there as a photographer, so if there was ever something that you had to pair up with your "date" on, I paired up with him. That was nice to look back on that night with my dad.
Anyway, we had plenty of socializing and experienced many formal affairs, but they didn't have to include dancing. I will gladly host or allow our kids to do those...with of course the right circumstances. I don't even mind dancing in general, but I don't believe teens need to be dancing as couples (sort of the same reasons Lisa said she regretted dancing when she was a teen...I don't want them to have regrets like that when they are not mature/old enough to handle being in a marriage type of relationship).
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/15/2009 8:13:01 AM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 8033
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
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And that depends on how the dance is approached. Like I said, I went with just a bunch of girlfriends and I did not dance in anyway shape or form inapprorpriately. I think I slow danced with a couple of guys and that's it. I remember one dance vividly and that's because he and I just both collapsed because we had been line dancing for quite a while; but he was (and still is) my best friend and there was definitely nothing inappropriate there.
We had our prom at a local hotel banquet hall and the teachers and chaperones had all of the entrances guarded into the banquet hall and to the building itself so no one could sneak outside, do something, then come back in.
Since I don't foresee me allowing my boys to date in high school I see them going with a bunch of friends and to me this is sooo much more fun than having a date. IF they were to have a date I can guarantee that we would have long talks before hand about appropriateness and then I would just have to trust that what I have taught them their entire lives sunk in.
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When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?
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RE: Should Chrisian Teens attend Prom or Dances? - 10/15/2009 12:02:19 PM
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heremainsfaithful
Posts: 188
Joined: 10/14/2009
From: Alabama
Status: offline
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No overt opinion here, but I will share a personal anecdote. I never attended a dance - ever - except my junior prom with a friend. I got a picture made, talked with friends, drank coke, and went to hang out at a friend's house (with her parents there) afterward. Two weeks later I was called into the youth minister's office, sternly rebuked, and stripped of all of my youth leadership duties. Three months mater they decided I had repented enough and reinstated me. I never went to another dance - I felt so horrible about letting them down and leading younger youth astray.
Now I am 41, and last fall my daughter went to the 7th grade dance with 5 of her friends. She still loves Jesus.
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