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[Poll]
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All the Single Ladies
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| Run for the Hills |
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| Take a break |
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| Put on a brave face and go ahead |
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| Get pushed up there against your will |
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| Go ahead and have fun |
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| It depends on the situation |
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| Oh give me a break ... it's just a tradition, don't upset over it |
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Total Votes : 18
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(last vote on : 10/29/2009 12:12:54 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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All the Single Ladies - 10/10/2009 9:48:09 PM
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ladioffaith
Posts: 3185
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: NE Ohio (L.A. . . Lower Akron)
Status: offline
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OK, as an adult single woman, when I attend a wedding, I generally find the time that they throw the bouquet as a perfect time to use the facilities, or get a breath of fresh air. After all, who wants to be put on display, and compete with 12-year-olds?
But I attended a family wedding yesterday, and maybe it was the infectious Beyonce song, maybe it was because the bride was 44 and most of the women in the group were around the same age, or maybe because our backs were turned to the rest of the people, but I really didn't mind being in the group for the first time in a couple of decades. Of course, I didn't dive-bomb like her daughter and her friend did!
Of course, I"m glad that they did the bouquet thing BEFORE the garter thing ... It was really depressing to see how few single guys were there!
Which leads me to the poll: What do you do when they throw the bouquet?
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with
his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/10/2009 10:02:58 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2624
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: out of the everywhere into here
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I always conveniently have to go to the bathroom right then.
Although, both my best friend (married at 29), and her sister (married at 23) just left that part out altogether out of sensitivity to the single women. They didn't announce not doing it, it just wasn't a part of the night at all.
I also went to a wedding of a family friend recently, and they did not do it either, but I think that was more because the couple stayed at the reception until almost everyone was gone, so not a whole lot of people left to throw it too. She gave the boquet to her sister/flower girl, when she was headed back to her room (it was a resort, so a lot of people were staying at the same place for a night). So that was sweet.
If and when I marry, I plan to skip that part as well.
_____________________________
Wizard's rule #1 .People can be stupid and willfully deceived (that's from the book, not the show)..slightly edited for CW
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/10/2009 10:22:20 PM
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cherish405
Posts: 32180
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Land Down Under
Status: offline
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I run for the hills.
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From this time forth, with the powers vested in me, this post serves as public notice of the issuance of one unrevocable lisence to cherish405 to have special dispensation in the matter of drive-by huggings as she sees fit. ~rayofson~
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/11/2009 9:41:47 PM
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ames01
Posts: 122
Joined: 5/11/2007
Status: offline
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I voted "depends on the situation."
If I'm a bridesmaid in the wedding, I'll dutifully go up for the bouquet toss, paste on a smile, and pretend to enjoy it for the bride's sake (though I usually try not to stand near the front of the group). If I weren't in the wedding but knew the bride's feelings would be hurt if I didn't participate, same thing.
Otherwise, I'd rather duck out and take a break right around that time. I'm shy and don't really like being the center of attention anyway, and the bouquet toss not only draws attention to you, it also draws attention to your single status. And my single status is usually the very thing I'm trying to avoid focusing on or drawing a lot of attention to when attending a wedding. Then sometimes you encounter other guests who are enthusiastic about making sure ALL the single ladies participate, to the point of calling them out or dragging them to the front of the room. That is such an uncomfortable situation.
I have always appreciated brides who either omit the bouquet toss altogether or do something else with the bouquet, like Ariella mentioned. If God chooses to bless me with a husband someday, I will probably do something similar.
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/12/2009 3:34:19 AM
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bootsNspurs
Posts: 1282
Joined: 1/24/2007
From: Wisconsin, but currently in the desert!
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trinigirl722
I voted "put on a brave face and go ahead" because I have always participated out of some strange sense of obligation since they've just called all the single women, and I AM, after all, one of them. I've never caught it before, so I think I'm also secretly wishing that this time I'll catch it and that the "magic" will work.
That part pretty much describes me.
This last wedding I went to was my cousin's. I would have loved to catch the bouquet more as something to have from her wedding. But I was also secretly relieved I didn't catch it. I also am embarrassed when I go up there. My other cousin Kari caught the bouquet, and that's cool cuz her and the cousin who got married are best friends.
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<~~ Briezers
Ziva - "There is a smurf war."
Tony - "Turf war."
NCIS Zividioms
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/12/2009 3:35:35 AM
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reach
Posts: 1304
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I got married at 35 and I hated the toss. So I did not include it. I had a dance with couples and gave the bouquet to the couple that had been married the longest.
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/13/2009 4:45:18 AM
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rynthetyn
Posts: 277
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I've always tried to avoid it because I think it's kind of a stupid tradition, not because I'm feeling uncomfortable about being single or anything.
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~.~Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines~.~
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/13/2009 9:20:44 AM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 8033
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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I voted I run. The only boquet toss I stuck around for was my friend who married right after high school and all the guests were single so it didn't really matter.
This is why I'm going to elope; I don't have to worry about a bouquet toss. 
_____________________________
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/13/2009 11:12:29 AM
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mmartiandt
Posts: 2776
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: The World
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I caught TONS of bouquets growing up, and still didn't get married until I was almost 27, so either there is no "magic", or all mine were broken.  
At my wedding, there were only 2 single people in attendance, well 4 if you count the two teenage girls, and my bouquet was made of balloons, so a toss wasn't even something that crossed my mind. I wonder how far those balloon flowers would have flown. 
_____________________________
Lee Francis Peterson
Sheltered from the storms of life, Free from pain and suffering,
Wrapped in the arms of Jesus, Forever in our hearts
January 31, 2009
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/13/2009 5:41:52 PM
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laughinggirl
Posts: 223
Joined: 8/2/2005
From: Dallas, TX
Status: offline
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I was single until age 32, and the bouquet toss never bothered me. My other single friends and I always participated. Maybe it helped that I wasn't the only adult in a group of little girls trying to catch it, I don't know. I never had a problem with it, and I did it at our own wedding.
I originally didn't plan on doing the garter at our wedding, but my husband really wanted to, so I didn't mind.
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Bethany's Blog
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/14/2009 4:10:54 AM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 18169
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
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I didn't vote . . . there wasn't a selection for "nothing."
I don't run or try to be anywhere else during that time because that seems so transparent, and I've heard people "good-naturedly" comment on someone doing that and teasing them  . . . which just makes it worse.
But neither do I go up to wait around for the bouquet to be tossed.
I'm really not that hung up on observing traditions anyway.
(1) I prefer to bring uniqueness into my life;
(2) People can turn traditions into idols (not just at weddings; any traditions); when that happens, what one is doing is not observing tradition but honoring idolatry. (Please note that what I just said wasn't "inclusive" to everyone).
But . . . on the subject of the bouquet toss and the "meaning" behind it . . .
THAT is putting one's faith in luck; and that most certainly is not something that Christians should be doing.
Besides that, even if one isn't doing the bouquet toss for that reason, I think the practice of catching the bouquet is just plain silly.
I'm usually in a conversation with someone when the bouquet toss is announced. Out of politeness, if I'm anywhere near the center of the activity, I will stop the conversation during the toss and then simply resume the conversation afterward. If I'm not near the activity and know that I won't be disturbing anyone, I'll just continue the conversation during the toss.
But, in actuality, I don't go to that many weddings; and the ones I do go to rarely have the bouquet toss anyway.
Back in '82 . . . when I got married for the first time and was much younger and much less able to speak up for myself, my mother-in-law pretty-much called all the shots of my wedding; and so we had a bouquet toss (even though, even as far back as then, I didn't have a good opinion about this practice).
It also meant that I had to have two bouquets because I really wanted to keep my bouquet from the wedding. Many brides do; and so the florists make more money because of this tradition; one bouquet for the bride and one for the toss.
22 years later, when CS and I got married, I had one bouquet; it intentionally didn't get tossed, and I kept it (until I later buried with some of his ashes).
But then,
(a) my second wedding was done Sharon-Marie & CS style (which meant that none of the "traditions" were observed)
(b) Except for one other person, I was the youngest one at my wedding (well, the nosey shopper who was passing by and trying to elbow her way to the front might have been younger than me) . . . and not many women my age are really interested in bouquet tosses.
(c) Except for two single women, everyone who came to my wedding was married (although I'm not sure of the marital status of above-mentioned shopper person).
_____________________________
❖ Let's Discuss the Advent Season ❖
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/16/2009 12:07:27 PM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 181
Joined: 12/29/2006
From: the middle of nowhere
Status: offline
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I voted it depends. Most of the time I am pushed up there against my will. Especially at the weddings of my cousins because I am becoming one of a few that is not married yet. Sometimes for a friend's wedding, I will go up there without a fight, but the older I become, the less I want to do it. I am not sure what I will do at my wedding. I will have a fairly traditional wedding though.
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Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/21/2009 10:44:17 AM
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anne-girl
Posts: 1112
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Wherever I am
Status: offline
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Didn't vote since I'm married, but when I was single it was more like "it depends". If I was with a crowd of friends my age we'd sometimes go try for it just for fun. Or not, if we weren't in the mood. Towards my late 20s I always found it embarrassing, so when I got married we didn't include that bit (barely anybody does the garter thing around here). Besides, it meant I got to keep my bouquet! Now I have a framed floral arrangement on my wall. I don't think I would toss that. Someone might get hurt.
Mind you, one of my favorite wedding memories is when my sister caught the bouquet at a cousin's wedding. She was five. She was so excited that she would be getting married soon! LOL We have this great pic of her, holding the bouquet with gleaming eyes; it was bigger than her torso!
A friend of mine who got married recently opted to have a screeching-in instead of tossing the bouquet. (It's what they do to you in Newfoundland to make you an honorary Newfoundlander.) Her DH hadn't been able to get up the courage to do it when they visited, so she had him do it at the reception, and invited others to do so. It involves kissing a codfish and drinking screech (which is stronger than whisky and harder on the throat). Her DH's 90-year-old aunt from Holland did it too!
If you think about it, it's not any stranger a tradition than throwing a bouquet and a garter.
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"Mine?"
~Finding Nemo
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RE: All the Single Ladies - 10/24/2009 12:23:17 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1936
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: online
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Don't get invited to too many weddings - it has been a long time. I don't ever participate. Not because I don't want to, I don't really care about it all that much. Half of the time, I'm trying to figure out how to leave early anyway since I'm not a big fan of ceremonial things.
_____________________________
We are His portion and He is our prize, drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes! If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking ...
- Kim Walker "How He Loves Us"
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