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RE: Totally sexless marriage - 10/26/2009 5:11:11 PM
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Nicole21
Posts: 18
Joined: 6/16/2008
Status: offline
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unfortunately I am in a similar position with my husband. He has many disabilities with his back and neck and we go several weeks without being with each other and it gets so hard. I too feel unattractive and fat and I have talked to my husband about it and he does say that I'm pretty and attracted to me but then that is the extent of it. Be patient sweetie I know that it is hard pray for God to deliver you and remember what trails we go through in life makes us stronger. I will pray for you and remember you are never alone if you ever need to talk my e-mail is avkjaa@yahoo.com
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RE: Totally sexless marriage - 10/29/2009 4:01:32 AM
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Anon101
Posts: 181
Joined: 10/21/2009
Status: offline
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O.K. back on track to my original question/dilemma. I know that sounds odd when I have other issues to deal w/my husband. He is seeing a counselor about those issues and I am believing that God is doing a work in that area. I still need/want to feel loved in the physical/intimate sense especially after almost a decade with him.
Well, we had a breakthrough. Found out my husband has E.D. He told me he was going to call the doctor but doesn't want to take anything. He hasn't called the doctor yet. Do I call the doctor for him? He says he is embarrassed. I told him a lot of guys have this disorder that is why there are commercials for medicine like Cialis and Viagra. I know he rather not deal with this. Should I just let it go? He doesn't want to talk about it. What would you do?
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RE: Totally sexless marriage - 10/29/2009 10:20:46 AM
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Brandy
Posts: 1458
Joined: 4/7/2005
From: Los Angeles
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You cannot make him do anything in this area.
You need to seek counsel for yourself and consider learning how to deal with a husband with no or little sex drive.
Forcing the issue, if he has E.D. may backfire.
If it were a life threatening thing I would say push, but this isn't. My husband has sleep apnea, we found that out after I made him see a Dr because I was staying up at night listening to him stop breathing and nudging him to start again. It was severely effecting me and could potentially kill him.
Also, he may get more comfortable with counseling and see the need to pursue it himself. At this point, be happy he's seeing someone and has told you what he thinks he has. Give him time to get up the courage to talk to a Dr.
_____________________________
~Brandy
Our world of us.
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RE: Totally sexless marriage - 10/29/2009 10:31:51 AM
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laura...
Posts: 3280
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
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quote:
If it were a life threatening thing I would say push, but this isn't.
Not necessarily. ED can be a symptom of a more serious disorder.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Totally sexless marriage - 10/29/2009 12:34:55 PM
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SurpassingPeace
Posts: 816
Joined: 11/21/2007
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I think that calling the doctor for him would just put him into the child role. I don't think it is a good idea. I might encourage him yo do but would not do it myself.
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RE: Totally sexless marriage - 10/29/2009 12:42:22 PM
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laura...
Posts: 3280
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
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I would ask him if he wanted me to make the appointment for him. He may just be feeling too embarrassed to make the phone call.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Totally sexless marriage - 10/30/2009 2:24:34 AM
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Anon101
Posts: 181
Joined: 10/21/2009
Status: offline
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I haven't brought it up to him. I do want to see if he is willing to put his pride aside for the sake of our marriage. It has been 18 months, and prior to that 8 years w/o ANYTHING, so now knowing it what the problem is and know that there is a solution, I'd think he'd run to the phone to have it fixed. This however is MY view on things. I am hoping this is important to him. I told him that relations with your spouse are very important. Paul goes out of his way to address this in the bible. It is not just about him and his pride. This affects both of us and I am just going to let him take the initiative to see if it is really something he is concerned about or something he rather just us just accept.
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