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MY MOM..MY MARRIAGE..PLZ I NEED GOOD WISDOM ADVICE - 10/22/2009 12:56:06 AM
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Sanctified_heart
Posts: 13
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline
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OK SO MY MARRIAGE HAS BEEN GOING GOOD MY HUSBAND STILL HAS NO JOB BUT WHERE HAPPY AND WE WANT OUR MARRIAGE HE IS LOOKING FOR ONE AND IM KEEPING HIM ENCOURAGED...ANYWAY MY MOM(SIGHS) SHE HAS SPOKE NEGITIVE MEAN RUDE THING ABOUT ME HIM AND MY MARRIAGE SHE BELIEVES HE IS NOT THE MAN "GOD HAS FOR ME" SHE IS A CHRISTIAN... SHE TELLS ME WE WANT B SUCCESSFUL BECAUSE HE HAS NO JOB AND HAVENT HAD ONE FOR A WHILE.. I LOVE MY MOM DEARLY WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN CLOSE BUT I GET ANGRY WHEN SHE DOWNS MY HUSBAND AND MY MARRIAGE SO I DEFEND AND SAY THINGS..I TRY NOT TO DISRESPECT HER BUT IT HURTS ME THE THINGS SHE SAYS
IM THINKING WHY WOULD A MOTHER SAY THAT?
WHY CANT SHE JUST PRAY FOR ME YES MY HUSBAND HASNT ALWAYSBEEN GOOD TO ME BUT GOD HAS TURNED HIM N I AROUND WE TAKE COUNSELING AND WE BEEN GREAT IM HAPPY
SO AM I WRONG? I STILL LOVING MY MOM BUT I FEEL MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HER IS LOOKING FOGGY IN OTHER WORDS
IF ME N MY HUSBAND GOT FAR AWAY(ANOTHER STATE) N I TALK TO HER EVERY BLUE MOON IT WOULDNT BOTHER ME...
WE USE TO B SO CLOSE AND ITS LIKE BECAUSE IM MAKING IT WORK WITH SOMEONE SHE DOESNT APPROVE OF SHE THINKS IM WRONG...
GOD HONORS MARRIAGE RIGHT?
THANKS FOR LISTENING!!!
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RE: MY MOM..MY MARRIAGE..PLZ I NEED GOOD WISDOM ADVICE - 10/22/2009 5:13:28 AM
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LovebirdsFlying
Posts: 90
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline
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I must first gently point out that I'd have had an easier time reading your post if it were not in all caps. This is partially me; I simply don't have good vision. That's all I'm saying about it.
To address your problem, I don't think it's right of your mother to say "He's not the man God has for you," now that you are already married. This is wrong. She is condoning and encouraging adultery and wanton divorce. The vows read, "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, til death do us part," not "as long as things don't get too bad, until I can't stand it any more." As long as your husband is doing all he can, and he is not abusing you or cheating on you, then there is no reason to call it off just because your mother doesn't like him.
"Mom, I would appreciate it if you would pray for my marriage, rather than downing it. Otherwise, I just won't be able to talk to you any more, because I can't stand hearing all this negativity." It's hard to say, since you might then be accused of not honoring your mother. But in marriage the two become one flesh, and your husband is now your primary relationship, second only to Christ. Or, as one woman says she told her mother, "Don't talk about my husband unless you're looking right at him."
I had to move 3,000 miles away from my mother to get her to stop trying to run my life. You might have to do something similar, but please know that it is better for you to do whatever it takes for your marriage. It will hurt your mother, as it did mine, but it might teach her that your relationship has changed now, and that you are now your husband's wife first, your mother's daughter second.
_____________________________
The one who KNOWS me best, LOVES me most
------Bill & Gloria Gaither
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RE: MY MOM..MY MARRIAGE..PLZ I NEED GOOD WISDOM ADVICE - 10/22/2009 5:29:13 AM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1466
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
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She needs you to set strict boundaries with her. You need to tell her that if she speaks bad things about you or your marriage or husband again you will stop seeing her or having any contact.Then it is her choice.
If she doesnt take any notice then stop all contact.
Like lovebirdsflying, I have had bad experience of a mother (in law in my case) interfering. We have only been marrried for four years and when we went to Australia to see her 3 years ago she spent all the time behind my back telling my husband that he should leave me, that I wasnt good enough, that second marriages never work anyway so why waste his time and other awful things,this caused so much pain for both of us.
To this day she has never appologised and even admitted to it. She also claims to be a christian but has an evil side to her.
We will NEVER be going to see her again and have no contact except for cards and the VERY ccasional phone calles which she makes to us.
If your mum wont stop, then why not think of moving away? Your husband needs your 100% support and not a mum who is undermining your marriage like this.
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RE: MY MOM..MY MARRIAGE..PLZ I NEED GOOD WISDOM ADVICE - 10/22/2009 1:50:38 PM
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bolt.
Posts: 1759
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: Canada
Status: offline
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The Bible says, "Marriage should be honoured by everyone" If your mom can't grasp that, then your relationship with her needs some firm verbal boundaries like, "I'm not going to listen to you dishonour my marriage. Will you stop, or am I going home?"
_____________________________
Are you having trouble getting your daily dose of the life changing Word of God?
Let my friend Brian at Daily Audio Bible help you too.
>>audio link<<
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RE: MY MOM..MY MARRIAGE..PLZ I NEED GOOD WISDOM ADVICE - 10/22/2009 1:58:01 PM
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ctpruitt
Posts: 399
Joined: 4/25/2009
Status: offline
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Yes...to the above posters you must listen!
Your are married now, his employment/unemployment has no bearing on that concept as far as the Bible is concerned. You may just have to move away from her...you would not be first person to do so. That is one reason why my wife does not want to move anywhere near her mother.
I have been out of a job for two years. Her mother is just like yours: "you need to leave him", "the Bible says a man should work and if he can find a job, you need to marry one who can..." etc. So far, she has ignored all this. You should to.
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