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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage undoable?
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 10/25/2009 4:59:04 PM
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myka
Posts: 981
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quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: myka
Malachi 2:15-17 (New International Version)
15 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty.
So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.
---the word 'himself' can also be translated 'his wife'
The word "himself" is not even present in the Hebrew text, and "His wife" would be a completely invalid translation. The text literally says "He covers violence on his clothing"; "his clothing" appears as a single declined noun in the Hebrew text i.e. "לבושו" and there is no valid way of translating this as "his wife"
I think I'm liking the NIV less and less these days. 
Anyway, another translation is “him who covers his garment with violence”. (New English Translation)
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 10/27/2009 7:53:22 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 3812
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quote:
I went to my pastor's wife for counseling. She said that no matter what he does to me, I have to stay. Christ died and suffered for us, so the least we can do it take the abuse or whatever the problems is, for His sake. She listed verses in the bible, which I am familiar with, stating no leaving unless he commits adultery. While I believe this to be wrong headed advice, I do know that there is a large group that intreprets scripture this way. I heard one say some years ago that it is better to stay and be beaten to death and go to heaven than to seperate and go to hell. (and this was a wife that was explaining to our congregation why she was staying in the home with her abusive husband) She actually considered it a salvic issue. Some agreed with her.
I absolutely do not agree with this at all.
If you even think there is a slight possibility of him becoming violent with you, get out. Get the children out. I grew up in a home torn by domestic violence in a time when there were no shelters and police did little to help. Even if the children are not beaten or yelled at, the fact that it goes on in the home WILL affect how they grow up.
_____________________________
Avatar is my daughter Laura and SIL David on their wedding 9/20/09 ====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 10/27/2009 8:12:08 AM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1479
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
quote:
I went to my pastor's wife for counseling. She said that no matter what he does to me, I have to stay. Christ died and suffered for us, so the least we can do it take the abuse or whatever the problems is, for His sake. She listed verses in the bible, which I am familiar with, stating no leaving unless he commits adultery. While I believe this to be wrong headed advice, I do know that there is a large group that intreprets scripture this way. I heard one say some years ago that it is better to stay and be beaten to death and go to heaven than to seperate and go to hell. (and this was a wife that was explaining to our congregation why she was staying in the home with her abusive husband) She actually considered it a salvic issue. Some agreed with her.
I absolutely do not agree with this at all.
If you even think there is a slight possibility of him becoming violent with you, get out. Get the children out. I grew up in a home torn by domestic violence in a time when there were no shelters and police did little to help. Even if the children are not beaten or yelled at, the fact that it goes on in the home WILL affect how they grow up.
wow that lady had one WRONG and DISTORTED picture of who God is and what He is like. No where does the Bible say that anyone will go to hell who seperates from their spouse.(or divorces them for that matter)
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 10/27/2009 10:16:23 AM
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DaveW
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Distorted? Absolutely. But that is a common teaching in some circles.
_____________________________
Avatar is my daughter Laura and SIL David on their wedding 9/20/09 ====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 10/29/2009 6:09:47 AM
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Anon101
Posts: 188
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These past few days have been good. No fighting. Yay!
As I look through my posts I see this pattern of love him/can't stand him posts. I'm sorry for those of you reading this wondering what the heck is wrong with this girl. This is my life right now, though. My husband is bi-polar and that means he goes through periods of time where he is the man I married, then out of the blue the other person takes over. I don't know this other person, I don't like this other person, and I feel like I didn't marry this other person. I am trying to be patient and believing that God will somehow restore our marriage.
Until the bi-polar disorder is complete under control by medicine you will probably still read some posts by me that may not make sense to the average married person.
I am thankful that there are other Christians I can talk to to get it out. I need you all - brotheren in Christ - because I have a little one who depends on me to be stable.
So to all of you who have offered me encouragement, hope, great advice, and even tough questions -- THANK YOU! You are helping the hurting and that is what the Lord wants us to do.
Your sister in Christ,
Lorilynn
EDITED: to say I'm looking for a good counselor, too.
< Message edited by Lorilynn777 -- 10/29/2009 6:16:48 AM >
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 10/29/2009 10:16:38 AM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 8029
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quote:
As I look through my posts I see this pattern of love him/can't stand him posts. You are dealing with two different men you are married to, one who is stable at times and one who is under the control of the bipolar illness and has flipped out. But you know that and explained it well.
quote:
Until the bi-polar disorder is complete under control by medicine you will probably still read some posts by me that may not make sense to the average married person. The average person doesn't seem to have a clue what the illness is, let alone what it does to the one who has it or how it affects the ones who live with and love the one with the disorder. I can understand because I live with it, and there are communities on the web where supporters of bipolar sufferers give and get support. There is one I belong to (but haven't posted in a while now) that is really good. Ask me if you're interested.
quote:
EDITED: to say I'm looking for a good counselor, too. I pray you find one who knows about the illness you face in your husband.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 10/29/2009 11:39:36 AM
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madlyrics
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Oh how I feel your pain. Loving Jeus and wanting to do what is right sometimes is very painful. Pull closer to God and let me say I went through a situation where I felt my husband didn't even know I was there I cried out to God and my prayer was bless him change me. God did something amazing he gave me peace and I started noticing my husband started to pay more attention now my marriage is by no means perfect butI know God is continually working for my good. I just get down on my knees and pray because I know there is nothing to small for God to do or take away. Hang in there you will see the more you cling to God the more He will work in your husband. You are in my prayers I do know how you feel my husband was not verbably abusive but being ignored is just as hurtful and I know if you just continue in your walk with Jesus you will see the difference. It may not happen overnight but it will come. Your in my prayers have faith God will pull through for you. He always answers prayers of those who love him. I hope this helps. Just let go and let God
_____________________________
Loving and living for Jesus one day at a time
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/11/2009 12:23:54 AM
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Mollymouser
Posts: 3951
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: california, land of the happy cows
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Lorilynn777
These past few days have been good. No fighting. Yay!
As I look through my posts I see this pattern of love him/can't stand him posts. I'm sorry for those of you reading this wondering what the heck is wrong with this girl. This is my life right now, though. My husband is bi-polar and that means he goes through periods of time where he is the man I married, then out of the blue the other person takes over. I don't know this other person, I don't like this other person, and I feel like I didn't marry this other person. I am trying to be patient and believing that God will somehow restore our marriage.
Until the bi-polar disorder is complete under control by medicine you will probably still read some posts by me that may not make sense to the average married person.
I am thankful that there are other Christians I can talk to to get it out. I need you all - brotheren in Christ - because I have a little one who depends on me to be stable.
So to all of you who have offered me encouragement, hope, great advice, and even tough questions -- THANK YOU! You are helping the hurting and that is what the Lord wants us to do.
Your sister in Christ,
Lorilynn
EDITED: to say I'm looking for a good counselor, too.
Did you find a good counselor yet?
Do you think your husband's bipolar condition could be triggering some of his verbal abuse and rude comments?
_____________________________
  MARRIED TO A MILITARY PILOT ~ PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR TROOPS!
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/11/2009 12:39:27 AM
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Anon101
Posts: 188
Joined: 10/21/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Harvie
quote:
ORIGINAL: Lorilynn777
These past few days have been good. No fighting. Yay!
As I look through my posts I see this pattern of love him/can't stand him posts. I'm sorry for those of you reading this wondering what the heck is wrong with this girl. This is my life right now, though. My husband is bi-polar and that means he goes through periods of time where he is the man I married, then out of the blue the other person takes over. I don't know this other person, I don't like this other person, and I feel like I didn't marry this other person. I am trying to be patient and believing that God will somehow restore our marriage.
Until the bi-polar disorder is complete under control by medicine you will probably still read some posts by me that may not make sense to the average married person.
I am thankful that there are other Christians I can talk to to get it out. I need you all - brotheren in Christ - because I have a little one who depends on me to be stable.
So to all of you who have offered me encouragement, hope, great advice, and even tough questions -- THANK YOU! You are helping the hurting and that is what the Lord wants us to do.
Your sister in Christ,
Lorilynn
EDITED: to say I'm looking for a good counselor, too.
Did you find a good counselor yet?
Do you think your husband's bipolar condition could be triggering some of his verbal abuse and rude comments?
Guess what! He was taken off his bipolar meds. His doctor misdiagnosed him after his bipolor meds made him worse and more info came to light. He isn't on anything now and is the same but just awake more (the bipolar meds made him sleep). I thought it was odd that he was diagnosed as bipolar because he never had a manic episode so that would make him just polar.
For the life of me I don't know what the deal is I just know that I'm very unhappy in this marriage and my family want me out. I keep praying though because I need the Holy Spirit to give me the o.k. and He hasn't done that yet. I made an appointment with a christian counselor for myself. I know that the unhealthiness of this relationship has messed with me mentally and emotionally so I know I need help.
< Message edited by Lorilynn777 -- 11/11/2009 12:50:02 AM >
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/11/2009 8:43:41 AM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 8029
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There are different levels of the bipolar illness. Granted, he may not be, but one doesn't have to have a full-blown delusional manic episode to have it. For example my wife will experience hypo manic episodes. Those outside our family wouldn't know anything was wrong. Even her psychiatrist who she had been seeing for several years for depression didn't see it until it was suggested to him.
quote:
One side of the scale includes severe depression, moderate depression, and mild low mood. Moderate depression may cause less extreme symptoms, and mild low mood is called dysthymia when it is chronic or long-term. In the middle of the scale is normal or balanced mood.
At the other end of the scale are hypomania and severe mania. Some people with bipolar disorder experience hypomania. During hypomanic episodes, a person may have increased energy and activity levels that are not as severe as typical mania, or he or she may have episodes that last less than a week and do not require emergency care. A person having a hypomanic episode may feel very good, be highly productive, and function well. This person may not feel that anything is wrong even as family and friends recognize the mood swings as possible bipolar disorder. Without proper treatment, however, people with hypomania may develop severe mania or depression. From the NIMH website
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/11/2009 3:33:36 PM
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Anon101
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Thank you everyone for your understanding a words of encouragement. I will continue to pray and seek God's wisdom.
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/15/2009 4:47:25 PM
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heremainsfaithful
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I know you said his doc said no bipolar, but his behavior is just too familiar to me, so I am throwing my 2 cents in anyway. You see, I have bipolar disorder, but for years it went undiagnosed: the rages,the moods, the unpredictability, the spending, and finally, the affair. Honestly, I resisted seeing a doctor because "Christians should just be able to pray through it," and "mental illness is just sin." Yeah, whatever.
I am telling you this because I wasn't truly diagnosed until AFTER a severe manic episode, which happened after I was prescribed an antidepressant. AD's given alone to someone with underlying bipolar can trigger a severe manic episode. And the low dose of one bipolar med they gave me to fix it didn't work - it wasn't enough. It takes awhile to get the right dosage.
And - even though my diagnosis has been absolutely confirmed - I have to say that I am still a human with a brain. Bipolar is never an excuse for this behavior, in my opinion. It definitely can contribute and affect our thinking, but unless someone has a psychotic break, the cannot use the "I'm sick so deal with it line."
I have read through several posts you have made, and I am so so sorry you are going through all of this. I won't debate divorce because this is not that type of thread, but just know that being permissive AND being legalistic are both pretty easy. It's discerning exactly what God's will is for you through His Word and prayer that count in the end.
_____________________________
Jer. 29:11, II Tim. 2:13, Jude 24, 25
https://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/bookdisplay.aspx?bookid=58896
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/15/2009 6:44:50 PM
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Ilfemale34
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Thank you for sharing your story... I'm glad you feel open enough to talk about it.
It is much easier for people who haven't been in a certain situation to be judgemental about it, that to truly have compassion and know what you are feeling.
Years ago, I too was in a marriage that had disentegrated to a "roommate" status. Just that alone -- even without any added violence -- crushes a woman's spirit and self-esteem. A woman needs to be esteemed and treasured.
I feel for you, and will pray for you.
I went to a pastor when I was really struggling in my marriage, and he said to me, "I know as a Christian, you don't believe in divorce," but I did eventually get divorced anyway. I could not live for any more years feeling like a rejected nobody.
_____________________________
The Lord your God is with you.... He will quiet you with his love.... Zephaniah 3:17
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/16/2009 9:54:54 AM
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laura...
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From: NE Ohio
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Let me get this straight:
* Your husband told you that the doctor took him off the meds because he's not bipolar afterall. The doctor did not tell you this.
* When you spoke to the doctor, he couldn't tell you anything due to confidentiality. So, your husband did not put your name on a list of people that the doctor can speak to about his illness and treatment.
* Your husband said that the doctor switched him to an antidepressant that he hasn't filled yet. However, the doctor told you personally that he does not switch his patients medication like that.
quote:
I'm more confused than ever. Is my husband bipolar or isn't he? Is my husband even being treated for bipolar? What am I dealing with? This is all SO strange and makes no sense to me.
You're dealing with a husband who is bipolar, non med compliant and a liar.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/16/2009 10:29:07 AM
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catlady11
Posts: 109
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quote:
I've got to be real careful now, dh is coming on here and reading my posts (I checked the internet history today due to past stuff) so I have to log off and out and change my password. I probably shouldn't be discussing his personal stuff anyhow. If he reads some of my personal posts, ugh I don't even want to think about it.
Just want to let you know that I have been praying for you and your marriage. I understand why you changed your "name" but aren't you concerend that you have a picture of you and you son on you avater?
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/16/2009 1:25:51 PM
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rawr.ben
Posts: 2746
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: laura...
Let me get this straight:
* Your husband told you that the doctor took him off the meds because he's not bipolar afterall. The doctor did not tell you this.
* When you spoke to the doctor, he couldn't tell you anything due to confidentiality. So, your husband did not put your name on a list of people that the doctor can speak to about his illness and treatment.
* Your husband said that the doctor switched him to an antidepressant that he hasn't filled yet. However, the doctor told you personally that he does not switch his patients medication like that.
quote:
I'm more confused than ever. Is my husband bipolar or isn't he? Is my husband even being treated for bipolar? What am I dealing with? This is all SO strange and makes no sense to me.
You're dealing with a husband who is bipolar, non med compliant and a liar.
Or, he WAS telling the truth, and it IS another disorder, perhaps something like Borderlines Disorder, which could result in similar behavior, but the medication could have a completely different effect.
Get to another doctor, get another opinion, find out the truth for sure.
_____________________________
rawr.ben
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/16/2009 2:36:45 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 8029
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I'm glad you were able to talk to the doctor. He heard from you about your husband that he wouldn't otherwise have heard. Like I've said before, just because the doctor can't talk to you, he can (and should) hear from you when things just aren't quite "right" - like the antidepressant that was never picked up because it turns out it was never prescribed.
_____________________________
We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/16/2009 4:14:01 PM
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laura...
Posts: 3284
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From: NE Ohio
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quote:
The doctor was more concerned about keeping his patient's confidentiality.
The doctor is concerned about keeping confidentiality because if he breaks confidentiality he can lose his license and go to jail. The confidentiality laws are very strict. However, your husband can name you in writing as someone the doctor can discuss his case with. Most doctors have a place in a patient's paper work and chart for such permission.
I know it is frustrating. It is frustrating for mental health professionals as well because they know that family support is valuable and they would love to be able to keep family informed.
< Message edited by laura... -- 11/16/2009 4:25:17 PM >
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/16/2009 5:19:11 PM
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hnt
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Well the last time my husband had health issues I went with him to the doctor, and I got all my questions answered.
Do you feel he would allow you to with him next time?
_____________________________
h
Emotional abuse and Faith
Reaching for IT!!!!!!
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/16/2009 6:18:07 PM
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myka
Posts: 981
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quote:
It was a frustrating conversation because the doctor did not feel comfortable talking to me about his patient which is my husband. That is an unfair rule that the doctor has to be vague regarding his treatment of my husband.
The other reason for confidentiality is that if the dr. were to discuss your husband's treatment with you, it could be a negative for his relationship with your husband. With mental health, confidentiality is extremely important and the ability to trust one's therapist is foundational for the treatment to be effective.
--and about the posts, since this is a public forum, anyone can see the posts in the forums without having to log into your account or creating their own account...
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RE: Has anyone felt Jesus' laws on divorce/marriage und... - 11/16/2009 8:19:37 PM
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Anon101
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I didn't even think about the fact that you don't have to log in to read posts.
I'm doing some clean up. Scared. Changing everything. Deleting. What have I done?
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