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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 3:52:53 PM
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rcjames
Posts: 6724
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Oklahoma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
. I remember hearing about a situation where a pastor's wife said that if her husband saw a woman from the church with her car broken down at the side of the road, he wouldn't stop to help unless she was with him.
That is way on the north side of stupid.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 3:56:57 PM
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DeliveredDarling
Posts: 1782
Joined: 8/30/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
His wife is going too.
That makes sense. I don't mind it when people set rules like that for themselves, as long as they are consistent, kwim? If it's a standard you guys have, that you aren't alone with someone with the opposite sex, I understand that. A lot of ministers have those kinds of standards. But if it's only directed towards certain people: e.g. you can't be alone with that particular guy, and you don't apply that across the board to all situations, I think that would be different. However, sometimes mercy has to prevail over our rules. I remember hearing about a situation where a pastor's wife said that if her husband saw a woman from the church with her car broken down at the side of the road, he wouldn't stop to help unless she was with him. A lot of the women were really offended by that. At that point I'd hope my husband would stop and help, and who cares what anyone thinks, as long as Jesus knows that he was doing the right thing.
quote:
That makes sense. I don't mind it when people set rules like that for themselves, as long as they are consistent, kwim? If it's a standard you guys have, that you aren't alone with someone with the opposite sex, I understand that. A lot of ministers have those kinds of standards. But if it's only directed towards certain people: e.g. you can't be alone with that particular guy, and you don't apply that across the board to all situations, I think that would be different. However, sometimes mercy has to prevail over our rules. I remember hearing about a situation where a pastor's wife said that if her husband saw a woman from the church with her car broken down at the side of the road, he wouldn't stop to help unless she was with him. A lot of the women were really offended by that. At that point I'd hope my husband would stop and help, and who cares what anyone thinks, as long as Jesus knows that he was doing the right thing.
We don't "have" standards like this. A situation like this has never been addressed before (to the best recollection of my memory).
I know some of the negative feelings my husband has, has to do with this man. He doesn't believe the guy is sincere.
I don't think he would care if I were alone with the guy who is going with me. (If his wife, weren't going). Why? He trusts him.
As for the whole protection thing, I really do understand why he is thinking what he is thinking, it just blows my mind that I can go to a third world country, to the crime capitol of the world, be surrounded by guns and gangs......
No one's safety is ever guaranteed. And yes, i know about putting yourself in the wrong position, that people are evil, etc.........(sigh)
I just trust very much that God's hand is on this. and if something happens, God has got His hand on that too.
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 4:00:00 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4928
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
Status: online
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Well, I just hope that somehow this guy doesn't sense the negative feelings your husband has towards him. 
_____________________________
"A faith that can be destroyed by suffering is not faith."--Richard Wurmbrand
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 4:14:17 PM
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drmark
Posts: 4637
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:
Well, I just hope that somehow this guy doesn't sense the negative feelings your husband has towards him. He is a "hard-core alcoholic literally from the slums". I suspect he has sensed a few negative feelings in his past... 
_____________________________
Jeremiah 31:31-34. The time is NOW, fellow saints!
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 4:55:16 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4928
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: drmark
quote:
Well, I just hope that somehow this guy doesn't sense the negative feelings your husband has towards him. He is a "hard-core alcoholic literally from the slums". I suspect he has sensed a few negative feelings in his past...
I'm sure he is, but it might be difficult to convey the love of Christ to someone when they feel looked down upon by those ministering to him.
_____________________________
"A faith that can be destroyed by suffering is not faith."--Richard Wurmbrand
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 4:59:08 PM
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DeliveredDarling
Posts: 1782
Joined: 8/30/2007
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quote:
He is a "hard-core alcoholic literally from the slums". I suspect he has sensed a few negative feelings in his past...
Of course he has. That's one of the reasons why I believe God has orchestrated this whole thing! Who better to understand an active alcoholic that a former alcoholic? Obviously, he sensed something about me that set him at ease. he had no idea, nor would have ever guessed my past.
It disturbs me to "have" to bring foreign people (to him) into the mix.
He will already be very uncomfortable coming to our prayer meeting. Showing up with a small posse my just scare him off.
I know that the enemy is fighting hard for this man. I know Wednesday night will be a serious (spiritual) battle.
I'm just of the opinion, that if he is comfortable with me (and he would be with my husband too. He has had several interactions with him during our times visiting his kids). I just don't know how comfortable with the others he will be. I don't think he needs anymore arrows flung in his direction.
As sad and frustrating as this is. I really wonder how often it occurs in our day to day lives. Do we even really notice anymore?
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 5:29:29 PM
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cow451
Posts: 3743
Joined: 5/6/2005
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I knew a woman that felt led to help a man in similar circumstances. At first things were positive, but then the man relapsed and things ended very badly. God is not going to withdraw someone's chance for salvation based on your reasonable caution in dealing with a stranger. There are lots of folks God can work through.
_____________________________
"As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." Sarah Palin
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 5:34:19 PM
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DeliveredDarling
Posts: 1782
Joined: 8/30/2007
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quote:
God is not going to withdraw someone's chance for salvation based on your reasonable caution in dealing with a stranger. There are lots of folks God can work through.
Absolutely! I do not disagree with this. And I really just don't believe this guys salvation hinges on me at all.
I am convinced that God set the circumstances up for a reason though. And I do believe we can sometimes be over cautious and less trusting of God.
That is my frustration. I don't have any doubts or fears....my husband does.
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/26/2009 5:42:03 PM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1816
Status: offline
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Hey, DD!
I think it is unfortunate your husband has to work. And, no, I don't think going with this man and your daughter would be wrong if you are comfortable but if your husband is not, you need to respect his opinion.
The scripture would be the one that speaks to doing nothing that gives the appearance of evil. . . I don't have time to locate it right now. Going somewhere with another man unaccompanied by a third party gives that appearance. But your daughter (who is more than a child) would be a third party in my opinion. Going with the man from the mission team could be seen as the greater evil (in comparison to the other man) because his salvation is not at stake so the 'reason' is less crucial. KWIM?
Anyway, I think it unfortunate that we have to hold to some of these standards. But sin requires barriers of all types in different situations. For example, to an alcoholic, the removal of alcohol from the home is often a necessary barrier. It is removing a temptation. You can look at the interaction between male and female the same way---you are merely erecting a barrier to limit temptation. Some need it. Some do not. The barrier is necessary because of our sin nature.
When I was in graduate school, a fellow grad student asked me to go on a shopping trip with him. The trip would have been just part of a day but I said no. I knew this man liked me and I did not want to allow any opportunity for anything to enter our relationship that was ungodly. So I said no. I erected the barrier. That's just what we have to do sometimes living in this world.
Hope it all turns out and this man finds Jesus. . . I pray he does. LL
_____________________________
Liveloved
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/27/2009 12:27:06 AM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 569
Joined: 6/20/2006
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
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I may be wrong, but it seems as if this isn't an "appearance of evil" issue, it's a safety issue, as this man is not well known to either DeliveredDarling or her husband and could possibly harm DeliveredDarling and her daughter if they were alone in a car. I can understand her husband's caution. I would also think that any reasonable man would understand as well why a woman he barely knew would not want to ride alone with him.
_____________________________
Elizabeth
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/28/2009 10:11:15 PM
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DeliveredDarling
Posts: 1782
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline
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Update:
My friend and now Brother in Christ, did indeed come to prayer meeting, decided to make Jesus the Lord of his life, repented and wants to come back! It was an awesome night as God moved heavily upon all of us!
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
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RE: Male to female and female to male - 10/28/2009 11:14:36 PM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1816
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DeliveredDarling
Update:
My friend and now Brother in Christ, did indeed come to prayer meeting, decided to make Jesus the Lord of his life, repented and wants to come back! It was an awesome night as God moved heavily upon all of us!
God is that cool. Thanks for your diligence and obedience, DD!! The angels are rejoicing with us all.
_____________________________
Liveloved
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
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