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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 8:33:22 AM
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Tinkerbell_
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quote:
ORIGINAL: evry1needsgod
quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
You also might want to take your wife to rehearsal, let her meet the other actor and people involved...perhaps the actors husband/significant other to show your wife how truly harmless the kiss is.
If she still isn't comfortable then go from there. It could just be the factor of the "unknown" that she is uncomfortable with. Or the fact that many Hollywood marriages have broken up due to actors co-starring together. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman (when Tom worked with Penelope Cruz on Vanilla Sky) and Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston (when Brad worked with Angelina Jolie on Mr. & Mrs. Smith) are two marriages that come to mind.
Or maybe she doesn't need to be changed! Maybe she values a kiss a bit more than the actor does. Maybe she knows that the staged kiss means nothing, but would rather her husband keep such a special marital benefit between him and her.
Folks, women aren't wrong or bad or less perfect for not wanting their husband to kiss another girl.
There is a slight difference between a stage kiss and making out with someone because of attraction.
Having performed a stage kiss before I can tell you there is NOTHING remotely romantic or enticing about it. 
Like I said, she could be afraid of the unknown and if she is shown how things REALLY are she might relax.
If not, then so be it. I didn't say she HAD to change but knowledge is power and to base a decision on ignorance (meaning lack of information) instead of facts is not wise and to insinuate otherwise would be unwise as well. I would NEVER advise someone to make a decision based on pure emotion and not facts. That would be careless of me.
_____________________________
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 8:51:56 AM
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PastorSteveMT
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I love this whole "it isn't a real kiss, it's a STAGE kiss" stuff.
Are your lips real? Is the other actors lips real? Are they really touching? Then yes....it's a REAL kiss. I don't care what surroundings there are, it's a REAL kiss.
And as a husband, I would NEVER be ok with my wife kissing another person, nor would I make my wife uncomfortable by kissing another person.
There may not be too many people that like Kirk Camron as an actor, but when he made the statement "my lips were made for my wife and her only" I absolutely loved the stand he took. He isn't willing to let a career possibly hurt his marriage. Amen and Amen.
My marriage, is THE most important thing under my relationship with God and I will do NOTHING to dishonor it, or my wife.
There needs to be more people who are willing to stand on Biblical morals, rather than accept societies morals and fit them within their skewed Biblical paradigm.
God demands holiness. He demands holiness within our marriages. He demands that our marriages be held in honor before all people. Praise God for those who are willing to make that stand and not be swayed by societies morals...or lack thereof.
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 9:08:36 AM
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tafkam
Posts: 1397
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Wow, thanks for all the responses, guys! I appreciate the input.
Of course now I'm more confused than ever, but that's a normal state for me!
_____________________________
"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' - Ronald Reagan
Tafkam
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 1:29:54 PM
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evry1needsgod
Posts: 1770
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dnp200450
quote:
However, not all actors are required to perform a love scene, but certain doctors are required to touch a woman. Therefore, the two are not the same and can not be compared.
Yes but not all doctors are required to touch a woman either so the comparison is still valid. Many urologist only deal with male patients. If the urologist decided to specialize in obstetrics or became a cosmetic plastic surgeon I imagine certain wives would be uncomfortable.
Likewise if a woman decided to go in to nursing after she was married I can imagine certain husbands would have a problem with that. In which case a conflict could arise. He may say no but she may override him.
Well her marriage to you means that she knew what your specific profession would require. So if she did not mention her concerns to you before marriage or before you decided to become a doctor, then shw would again be unreasonable.
_____________________________
< Don't make fun of my deer. It's spethal!
Believers are saved from their sin, not merely in their sinning!--drmark
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 1:37:19 PM
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evry1needsgod
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Folks....
I understand that many of you separate the two "styles" of kissing. That's fine (although I agree with PastorSteve). But guess what people....not everyone is like you, and many people value a KISS (one's lips touching another person) as being something sacred and intimate and special.
Do you folks have things in your marriage that are meant for the both of you and only the two of you? Just little special "quirks", for lack of a better term, that mean everything to the both of you, even though to other people it may mean absolutely nothing? Well the same could be the case for this wife! Perhaps she honors a literal kiss and wants it to stay between her and her husband alone. Imo, how dare her husband ask that she go to counseling because she values a simple kiss much higher that you do. That's sad.......
_____________________________
< Don't make fun of my deer. It's spethal!
Believers are saved from their sin, not merely in their sinning!--drmark
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 2:47:55 PM
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utilityfielder
Posts: 6003
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Now in the Deep South
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quote:
I love this whole "it isn't a real kiss, it's a STAGE kiss" stuff.
Are your lips real? Is the other actors lips real? Are they really touching? Then yes....it's a REAL kiss. I don't care what surroundings there are, it's a REAL kiss.
And as a husband, I would NEVER be ok with my wife kissing another person, nor would I make my wife uncomfortable by kissing another person.
Are you saying that kissing your wife is the same type of kiss as kissing your children?
In Ireland people kiss the Blarney Stone. Should your spouse be jealous of that?
_____________________________
November 28, 2009 Another important day.
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 2:57:22 PM
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PastorSteveMT
Posts: 110
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quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
quote:
I love this whole "it isn't a real kiss, it's a STAGE kiss" stuff.
Are your lips real? Is the other actors lips real? Are they really touching? Then yes....it's a REAL kiss. I don't care what surroundings there are, it's a REAL kiss.
And as a husband, I would NEVER be ok with my wife kissing another person, nor would I make my wife uncomfortable by kissing another person.
Are you saying that kissing your wife is the same type of kiss as kissing your children?
In Ireland people kiss the Blarney Stone. Should your spouse be jealous of that?
Really? That's your argument?
Comparring kissing another woman (in my case since I'm a man) to kissing my children or a rock is truthfully not even an argument. No wonder our morals have degraded as much as they have.
"Gee honey...you don't need to worry about me kissing that other woman...really, no biggie at all...after all, I kiss the kids and you don't mind that...oh yeah, and how about that time we kissed that big rock....that didn't bother you either...so yeah, it's pretty lame that you would be bothered by me kissing this other woman..........really....."
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 3:37:45 PM
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utilityfielder
Posts: 6003
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From: Now in the Deep South
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quote:
Comparring kissing another woman (in my case since I'm a man) to kissing my children or a rock is truthfully not even an argument. No wonder our morals have degraded as much as they have.
My argument is that the meaning of a kiss is dependent on the intention behind the kiss. A person may kiss his wife, his child, his grandmother, a rock or an actress in a little theater group and the intention and the meaning of the kiss is different in each instance. The act of the kiss is the same in each instance, but the difference is the intention.
When two actors kiss, it is called acting or pretending.. And yes I know that in some instances two actors can have an emotional relationship. But that is not true in every case.
_____________________________
November 28, 2009 Another important day.
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 3:40:45 PM
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dnp200450
Posts: 398
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quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
quote:
Comparring kissing another woman (in my case since I'm a man) to kissing my children or a rock is truthfully not even an argument. No wonder our morals have degraded as much as they have.
My argument is that the meaning of a kiss is dependent on the intention behind the kiss. A person may kiss his wife, his child, his grandmother, a rock or an actress in a little theater group and the intention and the meaning of the kiss is different in each instance. The act of the kiss is the same in each instance, but the difference is the intention.
When two actors kiss, it is called acting or pretending.. And yes I know that in some instances two actors can have an emotional relationship. But that is not true in every case.
Actors have to pretend they are soldiers killing people. They may pretend they are Adolf Hitler or some future anti-Christ dictator. That does not mean it is real.
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 3:57:54 PM
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evry1needsgod
Posts: 1770
Joined: 2/4/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dnp200450
quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
quote:
Comparring kissing another woman (in my case since I'm a man) to kissing my children or a rock is truthfully not even an argument. No wonder our morals have degraded as much as they have.
My argument is that the meaning of a kiss is dependent on the intention behind the kiss. A person may kiss his wife, his child, his grandmother, a rock or an actress in a little theater group and the intention and the meaning of the kiss is different in each instance. The act of the kiss is the same in each instance, but the difference is the intention.
When two actors kiss, it is called acting or pretending.. And yes I know that in some instances two actors can have an emotional relationship. But that is not true in every case.
Actors have to pretend they are soldiers killing people. They may pretend they are Adolf Hitler or some future anti-Christ dictator. That does not mean it is real.
No one is saying that it is real. All we're saying is that some women sentimentalize kissing and look at it as a very special think not to be shared with anyone else, EVEN IF it is completely unemotional and non-intimate acting. Furthermore, to ask that one's wife go to counseling because her values are different than her husbands is selfish and disgusting. She needs no counseling simply because she loves the kisses that she shares with her husband ALONE...
_____________________________
< Don't make fun of my deer. It's spethal!
Believers are saved from their sin, not merely in their sinning!--drmark
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 4:15:40 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 8033
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From: NeverNeverLand
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So...if a man's wife opposes murder it is perfectly acceptable for her to not want him play a murderer?
_____________________________
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 4:20:53 PM
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PastorSteveMT
Posts: 110
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quote:
ORIGINAL: utilityfielder
And yes I know that in some instances two actors can have an emotional relationship. But that is not true in every case.
And that is the clincher in my opinion. As long as there is ANY chance whatsoever of that happening, it isn't worth it. And that is how satan has destroyed so many marriages. He gets us thinking that what we are doing isn't THAT big of a deal and then before you know it, it has ballooned into something we never INTENDED to happen.
Sorry, but I've seen it happen WAY, WAY, WAY too many times. And the divorce rates in this country should tell you something about the value that people put on their marriages.
Go ahead and play with fire, but just know that eventually you will get burned...especially when it is satan holding the flame.
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 4:26:58 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 8033
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
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Then no one would have relationships outside of marriage. Ever.
You can't live in a bubble.
_____________________________
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 4:41:12 PM
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tafkam
Posts: 1397
Joined: 9/23/2005
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The murderer analogy is a good one. I've known Christian actors who refuse to play murderers because, well, they would be playing a murderer.
As for the topic I originally posted, I know Kirk Cameron refuses to kiss anybody but his wife (which is why they brought her in, back to the camera for the closing scene of FIREPROOF).
As for my own case, I am not remotely attracted to the actress I'm doing the scene with, so even if I were to stage kiss her, rest assured there would be ZERO danger of anything else happening.
Likewise, other actors who have done this sort of thing assure me that stage kisses are the most unromantic thing you can ever do, and anybody that attaches deeper significance to them is a pathetic case indeed....
_____________________________
"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' - Ronald Reagan
Tafkam
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 6:34:19 PM
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car2ner
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From: just north of Florida
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Not only is the kiss pretend, but what about the wink and holding hands and quiet whispering in the ear. It is all pretend.
If someone does not want to kiss another actor perhaps they should avoid playing any romantic characters.
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http://car2ner.imagekind.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 9:06:44 PM
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dnp200450
Posts: 398
Joined: 5/30/2009
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quote:
No one is saying that it is real. All we're saying is that some women sentimentalize kissing and look at it as a very special think not to be shared with anyone else, EVEN IF it is completely unemotional and non-intimate acting. Furthermore, to ask that one's wife go to counseling because her values are different than her husbands is selfish and disgusting. She needs no counseling simply because she loves the kisses that she shares with her husband ALONE...
Okay, she doesn’t have to attend the play or view the movie/program where these kisses take place, right? Since I had an ex-girlfriend who was an E.R. nurse I was use that as an example. She had to perform many procedures on naked bodies. That did not mean I had to watch. Nor did it mean I was afraid of Satan coming from around the corner and stirring things up. Why would I want to be with someone I am always worry about.
quote:
The murderer analogy is a good one. I've known Christian actors who refuse to play murderers because, well, they would be playing a murderer.
I wonder if they would play a soldier or policeman?
quote:
So...if a man's wife opposes murder it is perfectly acceptable for her to not want him play a murderer?
He can play the role if he wants. She does not have to view it if she does not want too.
quote:
And that is the clincher in my opinion. As long as there is ANY chance whatsoever of that happening, it isn't worth it. And that is how satan has destroyed so many marriages. He gets us thinking that what we are doing isn't THAT big of a deal and then before you know it, it has ballooned into something we never INTENDED to happen.
Be very careful with your choice of wording here. The term, “any chance whatsoever”, can be used to keep one in fear of everything. If something balloons that big, believe me, both parties knew exactly what they were doing. It did not just get out of control like some runaway train. There is always a choice.
quote:
Sorry, but I've seen it happen WAY, WAY, WAY too many times. And the divorce rates in this country should tell you something about the value that people put on their marriages.
Go ahead and play with fire, but just know that eventually you will get burned...especially when it is satan holding the flame.
We are just talking about a stage kiss here, I've done it myself. Some make it sound like an underground porn film! Wow, a few people are just letting their imaginations just run wild!!! Maybe they turn away from all screen kisses they view if they know the couple isn't married. It is their right to do that but I would be embarrassed to watch a movie with any of them.
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Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 9:20:34 PM
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PinkCarnations
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I honestly don't know what I'd think if I were in your wife's place. Do you think your wife's feelings are valid?
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Thank you Veterans.
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/29/2009 11:10:16 PM
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sue244
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From: Colorado
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I can't find the link at the moment but I remember reading an article on how even fake romantic scenes can bring up emotions in actors. My advice would be do what your wife is comfortable with. If you wife is ok with a stage kiss then take the part. But if your wife is uncomfortable with you kissing another women, then do something else.
_____________________________
My country owes me nothing. It gave me, as it gives every boy and girl,
a chance. It gave me schooling, independence of action, opportunity for
service and honor.
Equal rights for all, special privileges for none.
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/30/2009 9:16:02 AM
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tafkam
Posts: 1397
Joined: 9/23/2005
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quote:
I honestly don't know what I'd think if I were in your wife's place. Do you think your wife's feelings are valid?
Personally, I think she's overreacting. That said, as her husband, I still need to take her feelings into account.
Last night we finally started rehearsing the scenes in question, and the actress and I found a way to effectively fake it so that the kiss appears real for the audience, but there's no real kiss involved.
_____________________________
"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' - Ronald Reagan
Tafkam
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Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/30/2009 10:30:40 AM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10816
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tafkam
quote:
I honestly don't know what I'd think if I were in your wife's place. Do you think your wife's feelings are valid?
Personally, I think she's overreacting. That said, as her husband, I still need to take her feelings into account.
Yes, you do need to take her feelings into account, even when you feel that she is overreacting.
Are her feelings on this issue important to you?
_____________________________
Thank you Veterans.
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/30/2009 8:43:52 PM
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KaptZ
Posts: 172
Joined: 10/28/2009
From: The swamps of Jersey
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For what it's worth, here is my opinion. Just remember, it is ONLY my opinion.
I couldn't marry someone who was that insecure about our relationship. Honestly, I just couldn't imagine being in your situation. It's just so far removed from the reality of my own marriage that I can barely get my mind around it. A 'stage' kiss is causing all this?!? I could see my wife laughing at me bad about it and coming on to my best friend in front of me as a joke for 'revenge', but to actually get upset about it? Are you kidding?!
Counselling my friend, counselling. 
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/31/2009 8:35:33 PM
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KaptZ
Posts: 172
Joined: 10/28/2009
From: The swamps of Jersey
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: evry1needsgod
quote:
ORIGINAL: KaptZ
For what it's worth, here is my opinion. Just remember, it is ONLY my opinion.
I couldn't marry someone who was that insecure about our relationship. Honestly, I just couldn't imagine being in your situation. It's just so far removed from the reality of my own marriage that I can barely get my mind around it. A 'stage' kiss is causing all this?!? I could see my wife laughing at me bad about it and coming on to my best friend in front of me as a joke for 'revenge', but to actually get upset about it? Are you kidding?!
Counselling my friend, counselling.
Yup, Heaven forbid someone have a different value than their partner. She sure needs to be counseled for her sin...tisk tisk.
That's the problem. 'Sin' had nothing to do with it. Either you trust your partner or you don't. Marriage can be a challenge, but if you have to live walking on eggshells around your spouse how healthy is the relationship in the first place? What's next? Not allowed to talk to another woman? Not allowed to go on a business trip with a female coworker?
Jealousy may not be a 'sin', but it certainly is a marriage killer.
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RE: Actors And Romantic Scenes.... - 10/31/2009 9:33:12 PM
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evry1needsgod
Posts: 1770
Joined: 2/4/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KaptZ
quote:
ORIGINAL: evry1needsgod
quote:
ORIGINAL: KaptZ
For what it's worth, here is my opinion. Just remember, it is ONLY my opinion.
I couldn't marry someone who was that insecure about our relationship. Honestly, I just couldn't imagine being in your situation. It's just so far removed from the reality of my own marriage that I can barely get my mind around it. A 'stage' kiss is causing all this?!? I could see my wife laughing at me bad about it and coming on to my best friend in front of me as a joke for 'revenge', but to actually get upset about it? Are you kidding?!
Counselling my friend, counselling.
Yup, Heaven forbid someone have a different value than their partner. She sure needs to be counseled for her sin...tisk tisk.
That's the problem. 'Sin' had nothing to do with it. Either you trust your partner or you don't. Marriage can be a challenge, but if you have to live walking on eggshells around your spouse how healthy is the relationship in the first place? What's next? Not allowed to talk to another woman? Not allowed to go on a business trip with a female coworker?
Jealousy may not be a 'sin', but it certainly is a marriage killer.
That's the problem. Since when is a wife's higher value of kissing concidered micromanagement of a relationship, or "walking on eggshells"? Give her a break. Not everyone shares the same values, and to ask her to go to counseling simply because she's a little different that you is selfish and disgusting, imo.
_____________________________
< Don't make fun of my deer. It's spethal!
Believers are saved from their sin, not merely in their sinning!--drmark
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